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RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 2:29:02 PM

poise

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I know you mentioned you wouldnt want someone to fake it happening to you, but if you have
a vivid imagination, which I think you do, one way of experiencing this would be to mention
your fantasy to your boyfriend....perhaps he will surprise you and you can live out your fantasy safely.
There were a few nice posts along this topic in the following thread.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3302528/mpage_1/key_rape%252Cfantasy/tm.htm#3302545

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Post #: 21

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 2:30:45 PM

leadership527

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OK, note that I'm not against whatever scenes or fantasies you want to have and you can get other people to participate in. But I have to ask whether you've really looked at this situation from the male's side. So he's approaching some woman who he's never spoken to. He's been "assured" that he can molest her and she won't call the cops. He also knows, however, that she is going to be caught completely unawares in a public situation being fondled by a stranger.

Man, that seems like A LOT of risk to me. I can't even begin to imagine how I'd trust a stranger this much.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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Post #: 22

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 2:35:33 PM

Twoshoes

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I prefer the fantasy where I am seduced/have seduced someone to the extent that kidnappings are occuring.

You know: all the aggression minus the physical violence plus a lot finesse.
Where's the thread for that???

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 9/11/2010 2:38:45 PM >

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 23

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 2:39:07 PM

Zevar

Posts: 801
Status: offline

quote:

If a stranger did it, biiig risk. But it's worth it to him. I'm worth it to him.

You may say these things in the safety of your home and in the confines of virtual reality. However if some stranger actually accosted you so he could sexually assault you and do all other unspeakable torturous acts to you then CLEARLY he would not be thinking: “ She is so worthy I will choose her”

What I have to say to you is out of deep concern for your mindset. How foolish to believe to be worthy in these perverts eyes. Open your eyes and understand that Sexual assault is NOT like that at all. No rapist ever thinks, " She is worthy" No. Instead he thinks you are HIS Victim to harm in a real twisted and dangerous since of the word. NO stopping HIM when his adrenaline is pumpling & he dissociates from reality while disfiguring you heart, mind, body and soul as he thinks of you as some object to take all of his rage and anger out on & beats you to a bloody pulp. His merciless acts will not please you one iota has he seeks to siege you fully with his dangerous dementedness. Nothing to play with! However I will say no more since you refuse to listen to the voice of reason!

A SAFE day to you!

< Message edited by Zevar -- 9/11/2010 2:48:32 PM >

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Post #: 24

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 2:40:15 PM

rednicky

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Not every man is capable of making such a move, which is fine. It's downright grimy. But for those who would, I like to think about it happening to me. And poise, I'm reading that thread. I've talked to my bf about it. We even tried acting it out. I just didn't get the same feeling. Sure, I got a little excited but nothing more. But I think the 'nothing more' part stems to something deeper. He's never really gotten me to do 'more'.

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Post #: 25

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 3:10:37 PM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky
Not every man is capable of making such a move, which is fine. It's downright grimy.

Don't get me wrong, I sympathize. It's very convenient for me that I have no desires which cannot be satisfied rather easily and without risk of courts, etc. I'm just pointing out that aside from being "grimy" the guy in question is taking on a shit load of risk with very little by way of reassurance to justify it and very little by way of reward.

Obviously, there are people in the world who have much lower aversion to risk than I do and/or way less to lose than I do. You'll need to find such a person.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 26

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 3:20:33 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Not every man is capable of making such a move, which is fine. It's downright grimy. But for those who would, I like to think about it happening to me. And poise, I'm reading that thread. I've talked to my bf about it. We even tried acting it out. I just didn't get the same feeling. Sure, I got a little excited but nothing more. But I think the 'nothing more' part stems to something deeper. He's never really gotten me to do 'more'.

They arent doing it because its you. Rapists go after victims not because their worthy but because they are easier marks, you want this to happen stand outside of a club kind drunk. Im sure youll get your grimy men accosting you in ways that will haunt your nightmares for years.

HELL you might even be one of the lucky ones to catch hiv from the experience.

Heres the thing about rapists, sure they like their sect of women, some prefer the younger girls some the older some brunettes some blonds but the thing about rape victims and why one woman gets to go through hell instead of another is completely opportunity.

Yes I said HELL, Not pleasure not fantasy HELL Waking up in the middle of the night screaming because you think hes comming back or your heard a noise in your apartment.... not being able to be close to anyone for fear their going to hurt you too or look at you or tell you that you were asking for that suck fuck to touch you it was all your fault...... loosing the ability to really connect with any human being for a long time......THATS what your asking for... Not a fantasy a real life Reality fucking blows HELL on earth....

The girl he choose happened to be walking by the ally, or has a first floor apartment over a third floor. Its all about ease of access to the sick fuck. Not about how awesome you are, just how easy it is to get to you. Wrong place wrong time wrong circumstance.

< Message edited by SpiritedRadiance -- 9/11/2010 3:21:19 PM >

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Post #: 27

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 3:33:07 PM

angelikaJ

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Joined: 6/22/2007
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rednicky,

As I understand it, your view is that the rapist, molester etc would see you and just would be so overcome that they would not be able to help themselves.

Fantasies are wonderful things, but for your safety, you need to understand where the disconnects between fantasy and reality are.

As mentioned, being singled out to be a rape victim would not be because you are special, at least, not in the ways, you think.

There is nothing wrong with your fantasy, however, the reality is that it would not happen that way and you would not feel that way, were you to to be the actual victim of assault.

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Post #: 28

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 3:40:38 PM

Zevar

Posts: 801
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Not every man is capable of making such a move, which is fine. It's downright grimy. But for those who would, I like to think about it happening to me. And poise, I'm reading that thread. I've talked to my bf about it. We even tried acting it out. I just didn't get the same feeling. Sure, I got a little excited but nothing more. But I think the 'nothing more' part stems to something deeper. He's never really gotten me to do 'more'.

They arent doing it because its you. Rapists go after victims not because their worthy but because they are easier marks, you want this to happen stand outside of a club kind drunk. Im sure youll get your grimy men accosting you in ways that will haunt your nightmares for years.

HELL you might even be one of the lucky ones to catch hiv from the experience.

Heres the thing about rapists, sure they like their sect of women, some prefer the younger girls some the older some brunettes some blonds but the thing about rape victims and why one woman gets to go through hell instead of another is completely opportunity.

Yes I said HELL, Not pleasure not fantasy HELL Waking up in the middle of the night screaming because you think hes comming back or your heard a noise in your apartment.... not being able to be close to anyone for fear their going to hurt you too or look at you or tell you that you were asking for that suck fuck to touch you it was all your fault...... loosing the ability to really connect with any human being for a long time......THATS what your asking for... Not a fantasy a real life Reality fucking blows HELL on earth....

The girl he choose happened to be walking by the ally, or has a first floor apartment over a third floor. Its all about ease of access to the sick fuck. Not about how awesome you are, just how easy it is to get to you. Wrong place wrong time wrong circumstance.

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Post #: 29

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 3:47:02 PM

rednicky

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I don't understand why so many of you won't take this for what it is: a fantasy. I didn't say I was going out and actively trying to make this happen. I said it intrigued me and I liked to think about it and that all I wanted to know was if the fetish was common or not and if it had a proper name. Why do I continue to get posts from people who think I'm advocating actual rape? That that's what I want? The closest approximation of that that I've brought up in this thread is train-touching. Even still, it wasn't real. So why are you getting so riled up about real life abuse when this thread has nothing to do with that?

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Post #: 30

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 3:51:24 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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Because its what your fantasy is about, Real life abuse,

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Post #: 31

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 3:53:37 PM

leadership527

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Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky
I don't understand why so many of you won't take this for what it is: a fantasy. I didn't say I was going out and actively trying to make this happen. I said it intrigued me and I liked to think about it and that all I wanted to know was if the fetish was common or not and if it had a proper name. Why do I continue to get posts from people who think I'm advocating actual rape?

For the record, I always understood this was fantasy although I assumed you were at least thinking about acting on it. I figured you were maybe contemplating getting your boyfriend to ask one of his friends to do something to you.

Hey, if not, then I'm pretty ok with "any fantasy is a good fantasy". It's my understanding that "forced or otherwise non-consensual" fantasies are pretty much the #1 most common female fantasy. So I assume the answer to your question is, "Yeah, most females have, at one point or another, had similar fantasies."

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 32

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 3:58:24 PM

SorceressJ

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Joined: 7/24/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

I don't understand why so many of you won't take this for what it is: a fantasy. I didn't say I was going out and actively trying to make this happen.

Thought forms have power, more so than most people give them credit for. You knew it was a touchy subject that might upset some people, and yet these reactions remain incomprehensible to you. Why is that?

quote:

I said it intrigued me and I liked to think about it and that all I wanted to know was if the fetish was common or not and if it had a proper name.

No, the *ahem* "fetish" is not that common, excepting in safe space with persons known to the pretend victim. Yes, there is a name for it. Rape. Violence Against Women. You need to be careful, because if you think about it so much that it inspired you to make this thread, you may subconsciously be acting in ways that could, in theory, cause something to happen to you. Google "law of attraction" and you'll see what I mean.

quote:

Why do I continue to get posts from people who think I'm advocating actual rape? That that's what I want?

Because that's definitely how you're coming across to us, your protestations to the contrary aside.

quote:

The closest approximation of that that I've brought up in this thread is train-touching. Even still, it wasn't real. So why are you getting so riled up about real life abuse when this thread has nothing to do with that?

Because you continue to express your dissatisfaction with the "non-real" parts, which again suggests to us that you would prefer the real thing, which as has been painstakingly explained to you, would be nothing whatsoever like your "fantasy".

< Message edited by SorceressJ -- 9/11/2010 3:59:30 PM >

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Post #: 33

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 4:04:06 PM

FetishRose

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There is NOTHING wrong with it as a fantasy. We all have fantasies we don't engage in in real life, because of such issues.
As someone who was raped, which was hands down the worst experience of my life, I do not have the desire to put myself in that position, ever again. To any woman or man it's happened to...it's a terribly, horrifying experience.
However, I have personally managed to move on in a different way. Although I dislike it when someone leers at me in public, and I have no problem throwing a fit if someone behaves inappropriately to me out in public (if someone grabbed me on a bus, you'd bet I'd start yelling and would cause a scene, and probably press charges), I DO enjoy your fantasy in a more realistic, safer setting.
I love going to club, where I know the majority of people, including all the bouncers, and where I feel very safe. I enjoy wearing the more revealing clothing, and sort of revel in my "feminine allure" as the boys throw themselves at me, or desperately try to catch my attention.
More than that? Pure fantasy for me. Stalkers are scary. Someone who has reached that level of obsession is insane. The only person allowed to manhandle me in that way is my Sir.

Bottom line...the idea is a relatively common fantasy, but the reality of it is far less pleasant. Stick with your fantasies, enjoy "teasing" the boys in an area you feel totally safe, but leave it to that.

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RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 4:11:03 PM

rednicky

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Well all, I've gotten my answers to all of my questions, so thanks.

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Post #: 35

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 4:36:26 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ
snip

Yes, there is a name for it. Rape. Violence Against Women. You need to be careful, because if you think about it so much that it inspired you to make this thread, you may subconsciously be acting in ways that could, in theory, cause something to happen to you. Google "law of attraction" and you'll see what I mean.

snip

So are you saying that sometimes, women do ask for it?

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Post #: 36

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 4:41:08 PM

SorceressJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ
snip

Yes, there is a name for it. Rape. Violence Against Women. You need to be careful, because if you think about it so much that it inspired you to make this thread, you may subconsciously be acting in ways that could, in theory, cause something to happen to you. Google "law of attraction" and you'll see what I mean.

snip

So are you saying that sometimes, women do ask for it?

No, actually, I'm not saying that at all. If I wanted to say that (and get lynched before I had the chance to shoot myself in the head), then that's what I'd have said, point blank.
I also have no intention of getting caught up in yet another pointless CM shooting match. Please do not assume that which is neither true nor real where I am concerned.

I'm saying that our thoughts, attitudes, and actions help create our realities. That is all, no more, no less.

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Post #: 37

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 4:44:24 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

They arent doing it because its you. Rapists go after victims not because their worthy but because they are easier marks, you want this to happen stand outside of a club kind drunk. Im sure youll get your grimy men accosting you in ways that will haunt your nightmares for years.

I think you confuse her fantasy about this in her head with reality. I do not think she has mixed the two up in her head, but she has a fantasy, and in her fantasy a man is so overcome by her sexually he cannot help himself but to ravage her. It is not that uncommon of a fantasy... in fact most of what she wants is a garden variety nonconsent fantasy.

I am kinda surprised at the reaction to her OP, people getting all up in arms and confusing a really run of the mill fantasy with violence against women, their own rape or stalking story, etc....

I can sympathize with people being upset by their own rape experience, but trying to tell someone else they shouldn't be aroused by the fantasy of their own rape, or fantasy about raping someone else... well that is a little like pissing in the wind. People get turned on by whatever it is that makes them hot. As long as they aren't breaking laws and forcing people nonconsensually, what is the big deal?

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Post #: 38

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 4:46:33 PM

Twoshoes

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I understood it was a fantasy.
That's why I pointed out that the "Femme Fatale" fantasy is one where you get hurt by a narcissitic woman who you have no chance of avoiding.

I think people are being hostile because she is kind of hard to relate to and because of the way she worded it.

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Post #: 39

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 4:50:38 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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Joined: 3/3/2010
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I get the fantasy of rape I dont understand how or why people get turned on about it.

But what she describes she wants isnt play, It isnt fantasy in fact doing it safely doesnt DO it for her, she wants some strange man to come up and rape her and expect that because the man is raping her its because she was just so awesome she just had to be raped.

Its not how rapists operate. Its not how they work and setting the op straight might just keep her from experiencing this for real.

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

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Post #: 40

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