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RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 5:50:49 PM

rednicky

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quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

She states "playing" at rape etc, doesnt fill her fantasies.

She thinks someone who stalks/rapes someone sees hers as something special.

Sorry she needs a reality check. A rapist/stalker, isnt doing it because youre the next Marilyn Munroe, you just happen to be there.

Guess what fraz. I never said I disagreed with the fact that 'real' rapists wanted their victims because they were there. I never disagreed about ANY of the realities of REAL LIFE sexual assault. All I said was that, in my mind, THIS is how I see it playing out and that it intrigues me. But I'm well aware that my fantasies are unrealistic and are what they are: fantasies. As in not true. They wouldn't really play out like this. The assaulter wouldn't think like this or react like that. Still, IF HE DID, it would be hot. Is that in any way clearer?

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Post #: 61

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 5:51:33 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

Im sorry Ive never encountered someone who talked about something at length that DIDNT want it to happen to them or to try it, Your posts read even though you say over and over no i dont, i dont want that, like someone whos really thought about trying to make it happen in real life.

And glorifying ACTUAL rape is what Im up in arms about, not play rape not arranged play but actual real life assault on women.

I think you are looking to see a problem. Maybe because of a history with the OP, maybe because rape is a touchy subject for you.

Knifeplay freaks me out, but I would never go on a thread someone had about fantasizing about knifeplay and scream you are glorifying the disfiguration of someones body. Breathplay freaks me out, but I wouldn't go to a thread about the fantasy of that and scream you are glorifying the Boston Strangler.

If you don't like her fantasy, or her for that matter, why do you keep coming back to this thread? This is a pervert website. Folks are gonna wanna do things that freak someone out. Whoda thunk it huh?

< Message edited by JstAnotherSub -- 9/11/2010 5:53:42 PM >

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Post #: 62

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 5:55:06 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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Because more then the OP replies to this thread and more then the OP reads this thread, and anyone who might have acutually been raped might have saw this thread and thought it was their fault. That they did something to cause it.

Thats why Ive posted on this thread, to help those other then the OP if they choose to read it. Again I see her glorifying actual rape is it wrong HEY it might be but in case someone else some where reads this and feels better about themselves because others didnt sugar coat the reality of actual rape then good for them

Aside the OP asked in her opening for anyone who had this happen to them did they find it hot.

This is me saying sexual assault in real life... is not hot...

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Post #: 63

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 5:55:13 PM

hausboy

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Rednicky:
I'm a survivor of sexual assault as well--and there is a big divide between a fantasy and a reality--I've also (in the past) been the "object of desire" by pedophiles on the subway when they mistook me for an underage young boy (I was in my 20's), and the fact is that the human trash who touch people without their consent, are RARELY if ever, the image that exists in the fantasy. Instead, it was always someone who was really gross, creepy and someone I didn't want within 100 ft of me on any given day.

Here's just a suggestion, that might help you get the anonymity/fantasy part with the safety of a controlled environment: what if your partner arranged to have a friend come over--someone he trusted and knows that you would too--maybe at a dinner party or other type affair, so that he could give you the perception of your fantasy, but in reality, it's a far safer environment and in truth, not a total stranger. just a thought.

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Post #: 64

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 5:58:21 PM

WyldHrt

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quote:

you've stated that you feel that "you're worth it to him" to behave that way.

I think this is actually the crux of the issue that some are taking with this thread. The idea that a woman is so hot, so awesome, so 'whatever' that a man can't help but assault her more or less blames the victim for their own sexual assault. I can see how someone who has been a victim and worked hard to get to the point where they know that what happened was not their fault might react badly to this line of thinking, even if it is just something that turns the OP on in fantasy.

That said, this OP has a history of starting threads that turn into trainwrecks *shrug*

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Post #: 65

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 5:58:37 PM

frazzle

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Your fantasy is yours.

I admit due to experiences, i have difficulties with it.

There still seems to be this disneyland hope that, He'd fall in love with you and only do what you want. (You are the one that said your partner had attempted this for you, and it wasnt enough).

And yes youre trying to stir up a hornets nest. with ""IF HE DID"

editted for spelling and trying to keep control

< Message edited by frazzle -- 9/11/2010 6:02:35 PM >

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Post #: 66

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 5:58:43 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
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I guess I am just crazy, but if someone who was raped in real life read this thread and decided their rape was their own fault, they need to get therapy, not have you dissing the OP.

This is not the fucking Dr. Phil show, it is a site for folks who like things that society says is wrong to talk.

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Post #: 67

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 5:59:23 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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My now x claims someone he was closet o got raped and found it arousing, but that it shamed her to find her assault arousing.

I wouldn't go so far as to say nobody ever enjoys a real rape or is aroused by it, it just cuts out the fact that we're all unique and all human and all react differently, though I am willing to bet the percentage of those who were aroused or liked it would be smaller than those who did not.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

This is me saying sexual assault in real life... is not hot...

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Post #: 68

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 6:01:14 PM

rednicky

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A lot of people have suggested that my bf just get a 3rd person to do this for me, which is what inspired me to write my other thread in health. I am not in my fantasies. Ever. I fantasize about this all happening to others. I don't know why the idea of me being in any sexual situation is a turn off. It just is. Still, the scenarios are hot. I just add in other people. I didn't want to address this suggestion earlier because it's embarrassing to admit I can't see myself as a sexual creature (on a site heavily involved with sex of all places). But too many people have mentioned it and I don't want to come off as someone who's ignoring this advice. I just know it wouldn't do anything for me.

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Post #: 69

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 6:01:50 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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Did you miss the THIS IS ME saying I thought it implied to me that sexual assult was not hot...

Not that no one ever in the world ever found sexual assault not hot

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Post #: 70

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 6:04:07 PM

xkittenx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

Because more then the OP replies to this thread and more then the OP reads this thread, and anyone who might have acutually been raped might have saw this thread and thought it was their fault. That they did something to cause it.

Thats why Ive posted on this thread, to help those other then the OP if they choose to read it. Again I see her glorifying actual rape is it wrong HEY it might be but in case someone else some where reads this and feels better about themselves because others didnt sugar coat the reality of actual rape then good for them

Aside the OP asked in her opening for anyone who had this happen to them did they find it hot.

This is me saying sexual assault in real life... is not hot...

Its very common for victims of assault to think that its their fault. Happens all the time and often times therapy is necessary to sort yourself out.

The thing is, its not the OP's responsibility to protect everyone else from believing things which are untrue. What the OP is describing is a fantasy, HER fantasy. Several times now she has stated that she doesn't actually want this in real life. I get hot and bothered over fantasies that I would never want to experience in real life all the time.

The one with the problem here isn't the OP. Its all these "victims of assault" who keep trying to compare FANTASY with REALITY. And before you jump all over me for being insensitive and not understanding; I've been raped too. It was awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone but I know the difference between reality and fantasy so when someone posts a thread or brings up a discussion about rape fantasies, I don't get offended at them for it. Its not their responsibility to make me feel better. Its mine.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

I guess I am just crazy, but if someone who was raped in real life read this thread and decided their rape was their own fault, they need to get therapy, not have you dissing the OP.

This is not the fucking Dr. Phil show, it is a site for folks who like things that society says is wrong to talk.

^ EXACTLY ^

< Message edited by xkittenx -- 9/11/2010 6:07:48 PM >

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Post #: 71

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 6:07:21 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xkittenx

Its very common for victims of assault to think that its their fault. Happens all the time and often times therapy is necessary to sort yourself out.

The thing is, its not the OP's responsibility to protect everyone else from believing things which are untrue. What the OP is describing is a fantasy, HER fantasy. Several times now she has stated that she doesn't actually want this in real life. I get hot and bothered over fantasies that I would never want to experience in real life all the time.

The one with the problem here isn't the OP. Its all these "victims of assault" who keep trying to compare FANTASY with REALITY. And before you jump all over me for being insensitive and not understanding; I've been raped too. It was awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone but I know the difference between reality and fantasy so when someone posts a thread or brings up a discussion about rape fantasies, I don't get offended at them for it. Its not their responsibility to make me feel better. Its mine.

IF you read the ops posts she doesnt want the fantasy of Rape, She gets off on the REALITY of rape, and in a few posts up she gets off on the REALITY of rape happening to OTHER people.

Its not Hey I get off on the thought of rape, OR hey id like to do rape play...

She doesnt want play, she doesnt want fantasy it just doesnt do IT for her.

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Post #: 72

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 6:08:56 PM

xkittenx

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I did read the OPs posts.

She has said several times this is her fantasy and that this is how it plays out in her head. She has also acknowledged that this isn't how it plays out in reality.

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Post #: 73

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 6:09:43 PM

rednicky

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: xkittenx

Its very common for victims of assault to think that its their fault. Happens all the time and often times therapy is necessary to sort yourself out.

The thing is, its not the OP's responsibility to protect everyone else from believing things which are untrue. What the OP is describing is a fantasy, HER fantasy. Several times now she has stated that she doesn't actually want this in real life. I get hot and bothered over fantasies that I would never want to experience in real life all the time.

The one with the problem here isn't the OP. Its all these "victims of assault" who keep trying to compare FANTASY with REALITY. And before you jump all over me for being insensitive and not understanding; I've been raped too. It was awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone but I know the difference between reality and fantasy so when someone posts a thread or brings up a discussion about rape fantasies, I don't get offended at them for it. Its not their responsibility to make me feel better. Its mine.

IF you read the ops posts she doesnt want the fantasy of Rape, She gets off on the REALITY of rape, and in a few posts up she gets off on the REALITY of rape happening to OTHER people.

Its not Hey I get off on the thought of rape, OR hey id like to do rape play...

She doesnt want play, she doesnt want fantasy it just doesnt do IT for her.

quote:

Its

You're going to stick by this to the grave aren't you. I don't think trying to convince this poster otherwise is worth it. She's made up her mind. But everyone else who reads my thread, know that I am speaking purely of fantasy.

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Post #: 74

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 6:11:04 PM

frazzle

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Rape fantasy threads appear all the time.

This particular OP's attitude to the real life versus fantasy, does not gel.

As an aside, i know very few rape victims who think it was their fault.

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Post #: 75

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 6:18:28 PM

AquaticSub

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It's a fantasy best kept a fantasy. I understand where you are coming from, I enjoy the fantasy myself. Word to the wise: It's going to piss people off and offend them. Try to be understanding of where they are coming from.

The reality is that they aren't going to go for you because you're sexy. They'll go for you because you're easy. It's not about you in any way. It's about them. Grandmothers have been raped because it's easier to restrain an old woman. You really have nothing to do with it.

I was molested because I happened to be there and I refused to let a man to die in a ditch drunk when I probably should have. Personally, I'm lucky. I was more bothered by the reaction of the authorities than what he did to me. Thankfully, it wasn't much though I in no way enjoyed it - despite having nearly the exact fantasy that you do. A man seeing me and wanting me so badly that he has to have me. That I'm "worth it" to him.

I do think, however, that you are taking way too much shit for your fantasy. It's your fantasy. What we in BDSM do with floggers is what abusers do to control their partners. You probably could have been clearer that it's just a fantasy but... meh. I didn't get that you were going for actual rape, just thinking about it. Probably far too romantically but just thinking about it.

So, if you will, take a tip from a gal with the fantasy and who has been molested... It's not the same. It's not fun. And they really don't give a shit about you. You might as well be a 90 year old grandmother or a 500 pound guerilla. You just happened to be there with tits and a cunt.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/11/2010 6:26:09 PM >

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RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 6:18:36 PM

xkittenx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

Rape fantasy threads appear all the time.

This particular OP's attitude to the real life versus fantasy, does not gel.

As an aside, i know very few rape victims who think it was their fault.

I'm glad that most of the people you know have a healthy outlook on their experience. Good for them.

Most of the rape victims I know either went through a period where they blamed themselves or they're still struggling with those thoughts.

If you have a problem with the OP's attitude, you could just not respond to her or her threads.

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Post #: 77

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 6:25:14 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky
I don't mean those fake, arranged encounters where you ask someone ahead of time to do these things to you. I mean for it to really happen. But maybe this happens rarely and the stories about it happening are really not something that happen everyday. Anyways, is there a name for this? Is it a common fantasy? Whether you're into it or not, has anything ever happened to you where some guy has done something completely inappropriate and unexpected after seeing you or working along side you?

This is where you say you want THAT

Edited to bold and underline ops requests to be assaulted or the enjoyment of being assaulted real life

You missed the part where she refered to it as a fantasy.

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Post #: 78

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 6:37:11 PM

frazzle

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Thanks for the sarcasm, it missed.

I didnt state a time line. I do know, that wether via councelling, or intro-spection, very few think rape was due to a personal fault.

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Post #: 79

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 6:37:16 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

You just happened to be there with tits and a cunt.

For those of us into the whole objectification thing, that is the hot part of the fantasy... it isn't romantic....

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Post #: 80

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