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RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 7:33:44 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Yea, I'm not liking this woman. Her Dominant characters just seem cruel. At least the Villians promise happy lives to their captives in exchange of compliance. Gaston promised a big family, security, and non-stop fucking. Jafar, well he had become sultan anyway, yet he still asked the genie to make Jasmine fall for him. He must have had some sexy intentions. The judge from the hunchback was in serious lust over Esmerelda. He sniffed her hair and her garments. He held her close. He wanted her baaaad. Sure, he would ahve killed her if she refused but had she said yes...mmm. I think he was the most passionate of all bad guys. Anyways, all of these examples involve a somewhat happy ending if submission is involved. In Anne Rice's tales...there is no happy ending.

I think this is what people are responding badly to. Gaston didn't give a shit about Belle and mocked her passion for reading.

Jafar might have lusted for her but didn't know a thing about her and didn't care about her own desire to make her own choice.

The judge in hunchback wanted his pleasure not hers.

These are the same men as in the Beauty novels. Just tamed down for a kid's movie. They honestly couldn't give two shits about what those women happy. Just what made them happy.

And that is why it's a nice fantasy and a shitty reality.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/11/2010 7:34:52 PM >

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Post #: 101

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 8:06:24 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Yea, I'm not liking this woman. Her Dominant characters just seem cruel. At least the Villians promise happy lives to their captives in exchange of compliance. Gaston promised a big family, security, and non-stop fucking. Jafar, well he had become sultan anyway, yet he still asked the genie to make Jasmine fall for him. He must have had some sexy intentions. The judge from the hunchback was in serious lust over Esmerelda. He sniffed her hair and her garments. He held her close. He wanted her baaaad. Sure, he would ahve killed her if she refused but had she said yes...mmm. I think he was the most passionate of all bad guys. Anyways, all of these examples involve a somewhat happy ending if submission is involved. In Anne Rice's tales...there is no happy ending.

I think this is what people are responding badly to. Gaston didn't give a shit about Belle and mocked her passion for reading.

Jafar might have lusted for her but didn't know a thing about her and didn't care about her own desire to make her own choice.

The judge in hunchback wanted his pleasure not hers.

These are the same men as in the Beauty novels. Just tamed down for a kid's movie. They honestly couldn't give two shits about what those women happy. Just what made them happy.

And that is why it's a nice fantasy and a shitty reality.

rednicky,

You see, Gaston didn't really want Belle, he just wanted the conquest.
It wasn't that Belle was special, and certainly wasn't special to him: it was that he couldn't have her; that was his motivation.

That is the connection that you aren't making.

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Post #: 102

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 8:29:05 PM

xkittenx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

Thanks for the sarcasm, it missed.

I didnt state a time line. I do know, that wether via councelling, or intro-spection, very few think rape was due to a personal fault.

No sarcasm. Sorry you read it as such.

I didn't state a time line either. Counseling and introspection come later on. The victim's initial gut reaction is often self blame and questioning; wondering what could have been done differently to avoid the assault in the first place.

My entire point is that its not the OP's responsibility to babysit other people's emotions. She is entitled to her fantasies just as we are entitled to ours.

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Post #: 103

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 9:40:40 PM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

I'm sorry I offended you. I knew it'd be a topic some wouldn't find very popular. But don't you go judging me because of my fantasies. Yes, somethings happened to you that you didn't want to happen to you. It's sad and downright disturbing. But this is 'my' kink. If I had been kidnapped and tied up in someone's basement for an extended period of time in my life, I wouldn't spot a bondage thread about someone who actually wants to be taken and tied and tell them "How dare you talk about bondage when I had to deal with a non-consensual experience for X amount of time. Shame on you." The people on this site might burn me at the stake for actually saying all of this to a true victim but, whether you're into it or not, you should respect my kinks. The best thing you could have done after reading this thread was just click the away button.

As often is mentioned here on these boards, so many fantasies are best left as just fantasies.There is absolutely nothing wrong at all with your kink or curiousity or desire.

What people are responding to is when something like that happens in real life, that is the issue.

I myself have had a stalker and some other really frightening things happen to me with men who became obsessed and threatening.

So I think it probably is a major fetish, but to those who have experienced it first hand, it is not hot at all.

I think the genesis of that particular fantasy is self-esteem and external validation.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 9/11/2010 9:41:21 PM >

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Post #: 104

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/11/2010 10:58:11 PM

Aileen1968

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From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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Wow...I can't believe ( actually I can) the controversy.
Even if the OP blurs reality and fantasy, that's her choice.

My biggest and longest running fantasy, easily my earliest fantasy that I can remember and before I even knew the details of what sex was, has been rape.
Do I ever want to be raped? Absofuckinglutely not.
But it's an incredibly hot fantasy probably for the fact that it's a loss of control for me and that loss of contol is a must have in my relationship.

So, when I walk into my home and unbeknownst to me, Shore has taken the afternoon off and is hiding behind the bedroom door, it becomes a very good afternoon.

edited for stupid grammar at 2 in the morning.

< Message edited by Aileen1968 -- 9/11/2010 11:06:45 PM >

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Post #: 105

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/12/2010 10:47:01 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

Wow...I can't believe ( actually I can) the controversy.
Even if the OP blurs reality and fantasy, that's her choice.

This is not the first time that this subject has caused heat. On the one hand I understand why survivors of rape are squicked out by it, but on the other hand I wonder why they hit threads they know that will bother them. I could dig up past threads where the same exact thing has played out as on this one

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Post #: 106

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/12/2010 11:38:47 AM

Aileen1968

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I can understand their reactions. I think I'm able to enjoy the fantasy aspect of this because I've never been molested in any way in my lifetime.
I'm sure it makes a huge difference whether or not someone's ever been raped or not before.

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Post #: 107

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/12/2010 11:50:28 AM

juliaoceania

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I am sure it does have a lot to do with it....

Lets face it, some of the things we talk about here are very taboo for most other people. I think I forget that at times, because I am used to talking about these things with people who may not share my kinks, but have their own.

Renicky was right when she said that someone who had been kidnapped and tied up might be emotionally upset by people practicing bondage. Someone who has went through real torture might be very upset that being interrogated and tortured might be hot for some of us (I love interrogation.. so damn yummy). The fact of the matter is, much of what we do to outsiders would look like abuse, victimization, and nonconsent. I was explaining this subculture to a fellow grad student who had an instant bad reaction to the word "slave" because of its historical context... the word "slave" has connotations of nonconsent attached to it in and of itself.

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Post #: 108

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/12/2010 12:22:51 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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I've been molested, a lot, from 4th grade till I was 12. And I still find molestation fantasies and rape fantasies hot as well lol.

Now, if I ever got to play them out, would I still find it hot, I don't know, but a lot of people do.

I know people have said they like the rape play because it allows them to relive it with people who're safe and will respect them an want this of them out of a place that is all about caring for the one they're pretending to rape, getting what she needs, and not I'll fuck you n throw you away, and damned if it destroys your life, I got my jollies.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I can understand their reactions. I think I'm able to enjoy the fantasy aspect of this because I've never been molested in any way in my lifetime.
I'm sure it makes a huge difference whether or not someone's ever been raped or not before.

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Post #: 109

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/13/2010 12:54:16 AM

Silentrunner26

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It can be done in a safe enviroment if your willing to let go of the fact that it is safe . I have done it for a girlfriend who wanted to be raped . She left a door open and the whole scene was played out . She thought it was great and wanted more till I told her it was not me that went in but a friend . Yea she was mad as hell but they are married 3 yrs now and to this day she won't talk to me . He does send me a thank you note on my bithday .

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Post #: 110

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/13/2010 5:50:31 AM

CaringandReal

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

If a boyfriend does it, there's no risk. We are together. If Dom does it, there's definitely no risk. He does what he wants to me. If a stranger did it, biiig risk. But it's worth it to him. I'm worth it to him. I don't now how to maintain these same feelings that require instability in a stable environment (i.e, in a relationship with something you love that loves you back, in a car you know, in a home you live, etc...).

Interesting thread. I'm glad you started it and am looking forward to reading past the first page when I have the time. :)

I like the humiliation and objectification elements of your fantasy. I also like the element of surprise--that is erotic. I have fantasies like this quite frequently. What particularly tums me on is this twist: the idea of someone who controls me exposing me to and making me vulnerable to a random weaker male or group of weaker males who would ordinarily have no access to me, and they lord it over me in some very disgusting ways. :D

The "I'm worth it to him" fantasy is not one I share, probably because I don't think it's a realistic idea about the motivations behind this sort of behavior. In some cases a woman can be too attractive, so attractive that men will never, ever take these sorts of risks with her because they care very much about what she think and do not want to displease her. About the worst they may do is come up to you at a party when they're drunk out of their gords and kiss you on the lips, and then compliment your lips. In actuality, I think what is often going through the head of the doer of rude sexual actions (men, correct me if I get this wrong--I'm in uncharted territory here) is that she's not really worth more than just a grope or a rub in a subway. Do you remember hearing about the incident in New York City some years back when many women attending an event at a park got their breasts exposed by a roving gang of men? These dozens (maybe hundreds?) of women weren't special to these guys, they were doing this to everything female that happened to be in the park that day. If you were a person that was seriously attractive to a man, then in my experience he'd be either doing everything he could not to stress or upset you or (if more dominant) would set about methodically seducing and addicting you to him. Such a seduction can involve rudeness, if he's keyed on to the fact that you are submissive, but it will be done in a controlled manner which will feel "safe enough" to you, because the idea here is to harness you for the long-term, not to get a short-term rush from an illicit feel.

Instability in a stable environment can be maintained in a bdsm relationship, but it requies the right sort of dominant.

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Post #: 111

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/13/2010 11:50:03 AM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Silentrunner26

It can be done in a safe enviroment if your willing to let go of the fact that it is safe . I have done it for a girlfriend who wanted to be raped . She left a door open and the whole scene was played out . She thought it was great and wanted more till I told her it was not me that went in but a friend . Yea she was mad as hell but they are married 3 yrs now and to this day she won't talk to me . He does send me a thank you note on my bithday .

Why did you set her up for someone else without her knowledge?

< Message edited by hlen5 -- 9/13/2010 11:55:32 AM >

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RE: Victim fetish? - 9/13/2010 12:37:57 PM

randpaul

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Joined: 8/16/2010
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ah, i have long long held a fantasy where my new bride and i went to Cancun on our honeymoon. we wound up in an out of the way grungy bar. there was a Mariachi band and we ordered two beers. when served by a dirty shirted old man, he leered at my wifes beautiful bosom. it was enough to make us feel uneasy, but we didn't want to be rude and just leave. Well a couple of big mean looking Mexicans came over and began talking with us, soon one asked my wife to dance, she wasn't given a chance to answer, just dragged from the booth and taken to the dance floor. well my faantasy goes on and on, but you probably can guess. She was stripped naked and then so was i and we were made to perform all sorts of sex acts for the laughing greasy Mexicans. then we were both taken into a back room where we each held separately for days, being raped again and again, being made to perform for customers. there are several different endings to my fantasy. and i find the extremely hot and sexy and i convince myself i would love it. but i will never know. perhaps it is better that way

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Post #: 113

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/15/2010 11:11:38 AM

Silentrunner26

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I sent a friend to do it because I knew he was in love with her and would control himself . Plus I like her only as a friend and nothing else I had hoped it would play out like it did . She found someone who could give her everything she needed plus love her to no end and respect her after everything was over .

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Post #: 114

RE: Victim fetish? - 9/16/2010 3:14:33 PM

MercTech

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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

I hope this doesn't put too many people off. Especially women. I've always been curious about victimization. I don't know why though. but when I hear stories about men groping unsuspecting women on trains and blackmail in the work place and even being watched/followed by a guy who just wants to talk, my tummy flips a bit. For a guy to want you so much that he resorts to stalking, molesting, or blackmail is interesting. And I especially love what some men do when they get jealous. Keep in mind, I don't actually 'want' a guy like this. But to drive a men, who are all about pride, to such lengths must mean there is something about you that is especially tempting. At least, that's how I see it in my fruity little mind. I've never had the courage to dress a certain way (short shorts, spaghetti straps, and flip flops...something that says I'm not trying to look hot but I'm still hot), but I've wanted to. Just so that I could see if I could be made a 'victim'. Maybe someone will rub my ass on the metro or whisper dirty things in my ear at the cross walk.

I don't mean those fake, arranged encounters where you ask someone ahead of time to do these things to you. I mean for it to really happen. But maybe this happens rarely and the stories about it happening are really not something that happen everyday. Anyways, is there a name for this? Is it a common fantasy? Whether you're into it or not, has anything ever happened to you where some guy has done something completely inappropriate and unexpected after seeing you or working along side you?

Methinks you have a "tart fantasy".

And I remember enabling a co-worker to get a taste of such for real. I'm not talking about a scripted scene but her actually putting herself at risk but playing bodyguard so she had a safety out.

I told her what to expect in detail. Dressed her in a tight tube top, daisy duke shorts, and over the calf "fuck me" boots, and makeup that was a bit overdone. Then, we went on a toy run followed by a barbecue sponsored by the Pagan Motorcycle Club. My six foot self, dressed in biker leathers, was there to wrap an arm around if things got to un-nerving for her.

But, dancing around the campfire and putting herself on display, she recieved gropes, groins rubbed against her, lewed suggestions not only whispered in her ear but bellowed out for all to hear. Her hardened erect nipples were signposts for all to see that she was reveling in all the blatant attention.

There is something desireable in the fantasy to be able to drive a men mad with desire. But few really want to take a madman home for dinner.

Three lady friends I knew in Orlando would go clubbing once a week. They would dress as provocatively as they could and act rather wanton when they arrived. They had a running bet going about who would get groped first on the dance floor.

There are ways that can play out your fantasy without getting yourself targeted by some obsessive whacko.

Stefan

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Post #: 115

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