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RE: Internal Slavery - 4/24/2006 5:17:10 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		You are talking about controlling, cillydom, i.e. about enforcing. That is a travesty of a true slave-master relationship. RiotGirl, however, bonds in another way to her master, she is part of him and the bond is strengthening more and more, until she ultimately will become him. He does not need to force her to do anything, she simply obeys him like any other part of his body is subject to his will. She is a natural slave, a true slave, instead of someone who is forced to perform some labour. She is the real thing.

(in reply to cillydom)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/24/2006 5:27:38 PM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Don’t think I mentioned methodology. But control and enforcement are legitimate in a m/s relationship, it’s one of the glues that bind.


(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/24/2006 5:40:29 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

He does not need to force her to do anything, she simply obeys him like any other part of his body is subject to his will.

 
I love this analogy. It speaks to anticipation which is so much a part of who I am. I don't believe Himself stops and thinks to his foot.. ok, foot, time to move so I can take a step with you, it just moves in the direction he wishes to go. It's funny, often Himself will turn to me and say .. "You know what I need?" And I'll get up heading for the fridge to pull him a soda because, yeah.. I know what he needs and like his foot, he doesn't need to make a verbal command to get what he needs... the foot ::me:: just moves. Shocks the hell outta him sometimes. hehe
 
Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/24/2006 5:59:12 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		Agreed. It is a glue. It is also be useful in suppressing the obnoxious ego of the slave. RiotGirl is far further along her path to becoming a true slave, though, and possibly her master never used such controlling. He provides safety and that enables her to let go, willingly, progressing naturally towards her destiny. In controlled slaves the same can only be attained - also provided they feel safe - by torture; this kills the ego relatively quickly, though more than one session may be needed.

(in reply to cillydom)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/24/2006 6:18:01 PM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		What are you talking about?

(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/24/2006 6:47:54 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		This is an interesting thread. 

Several of the things you describe are also characteristic of dysfunctional, addictive relationship patterns.  I have no idea if you are in an unhealthy relationship characterized by chaos or if you are a "natrual" slave coming to terms with yourself. I am concerned when anyone says they have tried to leave or have contemplated leaving and found themself panic stricken of so overwhelmed they could not do so.  You are stronger than you think and you have more options than you think.  IF (I said if) you were ever without your partner/Dom/Master for any reason -- you would survive.  It would be sucky and hard and take time, but you would. 

Yeah, I know..I am such a downer. 

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/24/2006 6:52:25 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		what an interesting thread......while I have nothing to contribute I really wanted to say thank you to all that have/are contributing because it has given me definate food for thought...

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/24/2006 7:15:02 PM   
VvShadowspawnvV


Posts: 218
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Several of the things you describe are also characteristic of dysfunctional, addictive relationship patterns.


Heh... personally, i always score an 8 out of 10 on those "Are You In An Abusive Relationship" quizzes in women's magazines... You know- "Does he control where you go?" "Does he tell you who you can be friends with?" blah blah...

becca =)

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/24/2006 11:21:13 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Just out of curiosity, I googled 'abuse quiz' and low and behold, the two I took both pointed out that I'm abused and should seek help.

::wonders if she should also consult a lawyer and further wonders how she's going to get the stupid grin off her face before the trial.::

;)

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to VvShadowspawnvV)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/25/2006 12:50:13 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

He does not need to force her to do anything, she simply obeys him like any other part of his body is subject to his will.

 
I love this analogy. It speaks to anticipation which is so much a part of who I am. I don't believe Himself stops and thinks to his foot.. ok, foot, time to move so I can take a step with you, it just moves in the direction he wishes to go. It's funny, often Himself will turn to me and say .. "You know what I need?" And I'll get up heading for the fridge to pull him a soda because, yeah.. I know what he needs and like his foot, he doesn't need to make a verbal command to get what he needs... the foot ::me:: just moves. Shocks the hell outta him sometimes. hehe
 
Celeste


I loved this quote/analogy too, but I am bug-eyed tired and can't find it in the thread so I'm stealing your post to use it!    It's a fantastic analogy. I have often told Master I feel like an extension of him, moving as he wills me to move.

As for you, Celeste, you make a cute foot ;)

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/25/2006 1:01:39 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		Celeste/BitaTruble was quoting me. The text is at the top of page 3 in this thread.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/25/2006 1:06:44 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		 
quote:

I have often told Master I feel like an extension of him, moving as he wills me to move.


Yes! You ever want to be an M&M so he can just consume you and you are absorbed by him, becoming part of his very blood, carried around inside of him.. or is that just me and I am really, seriously weird? lol

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/25/2006 1:10:43 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I think we must have shared the same womb.

You can be chocolate if I can be peanut :)

But, to answer your question - absolutely yes.  So, I have to tell you...for this very reason, I had my brand engraved onto a money clip for him, so he can carry me around in his pocket.  And I actually found a vineyard that makes a label of wine with my name (a rare name here)...so I bought him a bottle so he can keep me in his cellar...lol...so I'm as weird as you.

BTW, your other post...you got into my brain again - about being so amazed that someone so intelligent (I could go on about His credentials) would choose me to make use of for himself.  My mind simply baffles.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/25/2006 5:07:20 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

Yes! You ever want to be an M&M so he can just consume you and you are absorbed by him, becoming part of his very blood, carried around inside of him.. or is that just me and I am really, seriously weird? lol


i have to run.. but before i do i want to quickly say - i KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 

i swear if i could just climb inside his body.. and i bet i'd fit too!!  i've thought about it.. heh.. like right inside his chest.. i'll just stay there for ever.. Sort of a pain the butt cos i can never be close enough when he cuddles with me.. i just want to be inside of him!  <sigh> i just have to settle for when i cuddle with him to melt into him

Oh yes and i know about the anticipation.  heck i even do it in my sleep.  i know when he's going to roll, or change position, i know which part of his body is about to move and i always steer clear of removing what ever part of my body that might be restricting him so he can move, sometimes i've gots to pull back completely cos he's rolling over or rolling onto his side. 

Hmmm yeah, i'm pretty sure of what he wants or what he likes.  But i always thought it was because i was so adept at studing people......  With things like food and drink, i could prolly get that before he asks.  (not hard to check a glass and i KNOW when the man is ready for food)  lol  Though generally he doesnt need much around here.  He just likes things a certian way.  "shoes here, clothes hung like this, this done, this in this place, this type of food, this type of pillow, the ashtray dumped, the fan on, the blinds down (when he's doing something particular), something sweet late at night.

But those are just particular likes and dislikes.  Which really i dont think is all that difficult.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/25/2006 5:22:29 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Real quickly again.  You know i think it'd be nice if he just locked me in a cage, or banned me to a cage when he didnt need me and only allow me out if he did.  Or to do something.  i generaly make a conscious effort to focus on something other then him.  A conscious effort to leave the area and give him "space"  Something, anything to give him some peace from my constant need of him.  i think he'd get quite tired of me always laying on his feet, or looking at him, or sitting next to him, or generally focusing on him every minute possible.  Generallyi do the things that need to be done when he's not around.  So when he is around.. there is nothing to do but - stare at him.  LOL Feed him, get him a drink.. and stare at him.  He could want some privacy too.  i go to bed early at times just to give him that space, but i'd have to take a sleeping pill as actually falling asleep with out him is rough.  But he doesnt like that so now i cant.  Which i sort of already knew he didnt like, but it was a means to and end!  Could you imagine some one staring at you every time you're around.  Always jumping up to get you something, staring at you, focusing on you.

Heck i cant even stand my cat staring at me - feel like i need to do something for it.. or it wants something.  i dunno, i wouldnt want to pressure him into doing something, or for him to think i wanted something all the time.  (which i generally do.. which is his attention).  Heck i'd even settle to just be touching him 24 hours a day, but i'm sure that gets annoying too. 

So i've my own little world i go to, seperate from his world and then there is our world.  i kind of like it.  But ahh yeah.. i think i need him too much.  Quite a pain really!  bah and to honest - i get abit cranky when i dont get my fill of attention from him.. which of course would most likely be impossible to fill.

Yes, i think it would be awesome if i constantly had his attention.  Which of course isnt possible. 

Anyone else hate it when their Master stares at them for no reason? 

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/25/2006 5:34:58 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:


Several of the things you describe are also characteristic of dysfunctional, addictive relationship patterns. I have no idea if you are in an unhealthy relationship characterized by chaos or if you are a "natrual" slave coming to terms with yourself. I am concerned when anyone says they have tried to leave or have contemplated leaving and found themself panic stricken of so overwhelmed they could not do so. You are stronger than you think and you have more options than you think. IF (I said if) you were ever without your partner/Dom/Master for any reason -- you would survive. It would be sucky and hard and take time, but you would.

Yeah, I know..I am such a downer.


Okay i've like 15 minutes before i gots to run.  Actually, i personally think i'm dysfunctional with an addictive personality.  i'm naturally unhealthy and naturally chaotic.  My relationship has its ups and downs, is not a bed of roses and has had its share of unpleasant things.  Neither Master nor i is perfect.  (had to learn he wasnt perfect the hard way)  Yes there are miserable times, yes there are happy times, yes there's been BS each of us had to walk through, yes we have our own set of issues and the other has to deal with it.  Like he's got to deal with my natural tendency to flip out.. or my tendency to be depressed - or even when i get so excited i'm like nuts. Or heck anything from the past LOL  As i've had to deal with some of his issues.  Relationships are give and take and take work.  Its sticking it out and making it work.. that makes it a relationship.  Those that only stick around for the roses.. were never really there in the first place.

i know i'd survive.  i've survived many things in my life, even when all odds were against me.  i'm also a very strong person, i'd like to think so physically as well.. but that'd be fooling myself.  i've got tons of options.  i know ppl all over the world who would love to have me.  Heck i could even go live with my sister in OK.  i've TONS of options.  Heck and even if i didnt have any.. i'm not afraid to go it alone.  i've gone it alone most my life.  i can get from one part of the country absolutetly broke.  It wouldnt be all that hard (just a long process) to start from the ground up.  i've also been with out him for 23 years of my life.  Granted i was generally unhappy.. but eh.

Yes it would take time.  Lets see, i've been inlove twice in my life and to be able to move on it took me about 5 years.  Think you could figure out how long it'd take me to get over some one i love abit deeper then i loved the last two?  Tell ya this, i never loved the other two like i love this man.  Can ya guess how long i'd be floating, struggling to get back on my feet?  i cant.  Way too long if you ask me.

Sucky?  Hell yes it'd be sucky.  i'd prolly walk off a cliff.  My house would be a disaster zone, my fish would prolly die, my dog and cats would lose weight and get no attention, i'd be absolutetly broke, i wouldnt go anywhere and i'd prolly pick up my old self destructive behaviors.  Yet that doesnt have much to do with him.  Its just my pattern.  You know when my dog died at 14, i literally would lay in the middle of the road at night.  LOL  Thought it was great fun.

Eventually, it'd only be an ache i'd have to live with.  Regrets.. what ifs, sorrow.. and no one ever being able to measure up.

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/25/2006 5:37:26 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

Anyone else hate it when their Master stares at them for no reason? 


I cannot say i hate it, i guess it depends on what mood he or she is in. Sometimes it makes me feel warm and fuzzy, other times it makes me nervous.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/25/2006 5:44:53 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

i generaly make a conscious effort to focus on something other then him.  A conscious effort to leave the area and give him "space"  Something, anything to give him some peace from my constant need of him.  i think he'd get quite tired of me always laying on his feet, or looking at him, or sitting next to him, or generally focusing on him every minute possible. 
You are his slave, his other part. How can he be bothered by his other body being aware of him? A slave always gives her complete attention to whomever she is interacting with, especially her master. So you are doing what comes naturally to a slave. He probably feels like he is basking in your attention, feeling blessed by your attention. Have you asked him how he feels about your attention? If he thinks that you are idle I am sure that he can think of tasks for you to accomplish.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl
Anyone else hate it when their Master stares at them for no reason? 

He does it for the same reason that you are staring at him, RiotGirl: he is bonding with you. Be aware of who you are and that you are part of him and you will accept his attention, the intimacy of being looked at.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/25/2006 6:16:31 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

I cannot say i hate it, i guess it depends on what mood he or she is in. Sometimes it makes me feel warm and fuzzy, other times it makes me nervous.


Heh.. well he so rarely just "stares" at me.  When he does, the first word out of my mouth is "what?"  He's thinking.  Yet i dont know what it is.  He looks at me all the time, but its not hard to know why or what for, or what he's thinking.  i can read his eyes.  yet when he stares.. i havent a clue why. 

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Internal Slavery - 4/25/2006 6:44:00 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

RiotGirl, however, bonds in another way to her master, she is part of him and the bond is strengthening more and more, until she ultimately will become him. He does not need to force her to do anything, she simply obeys him like any other part of his body is subject to his will. She is a natural slave, a true slave, instead of someone who is forced to perform some labour. She is the real thing.


He's tortured me in the past = )  i can think of a few nights, where all it was was pain, then sleep, then more pain.  i can think of alot of pain, past what i thought i could tolerate.  Usually it was for disobediance, as i rebeled against him continueously.  LOL he joked with some one in the begining that i only obeyed him 25% of the time.  And it wasnt that i wanted to disobey.  i just did.  If i could get away with it, i did.  Yet even though when i did obey, i was much happier.  Could never figure it out.. He doesnt implement such pain anymore, randomly like maybe every blue moon.  Sort of miss it, though even in an odd way i hated it.  hate pain!  Yet i love it!  So confusing.. Love the attention, the bonding.. yet hate the struggle of accepting it.  i do agree, he doesnt force me to do anything.  He allows me to do it or not.  i must admit, i do opt out of doing things, randomly.  He allows it.  Like when i'm cranky with him for some odd reason, i retaliate in an odd way of not asking permission for certian things.  i disobey basically.  Direct commands - those i can not disobey.  Serious direct commands that i know he wants.  There are tons of other things to obey and do, that eh, seem to be really unimportant to him.  Which of course could be me reading things wrong!  LOL 

i dont obey constantly and continueously.  Today i swore and i get cranky and stressed and i get mad at him.  Generally its on the mood.  (which i'm doing better controlling)  if i'm pissed off and cranky - i'm like screw you.  If i feel connected and things are going well, i obey.  <sigh> i can think of TONS of rules i break.  Broke one yesterday and spoke to some one i wasnt supposed to and i didnt even tell on myself.  Told on myself the last time i spoke to this person though.  I speed, which is disobeying.  Sometimes i doubt him, which is disobeying.  Last night i was upset and he asked what was bothering me and since i didnt want to tell him, i side stepped the question a few times.  Thats disobeying.  Eventually i managed to phrase it in a way that wouldnt upset him. 

Generally, at times, i will disboey if i think it'll "go over"  Other times i wont.  Sometimes i'll even side step obeying.  He lets me.  i've still yet to figure out how to not move an inch when he's caning, or whatever me.  Nor can i manage to stay still when he goes to bite something else, generally trying to convince him..... nooooooooo he doesnt want to do that.  Sometimes i disobey and dont eat.  Granted the bad behavior gets better over time.  Sometimes i forget to put the seat back when i get out the car.  That really makes him cranky!  Sometimes, i seperate myself from him.  i've got to work long and hard to do that and of course it makes me miserable.  But i do it.  Ya know thinking about it, i do alot of things that make me miserable.  LMAO  <chuckles>

you know i think i've a self destructive personalitty.  Thats so odd - never looked at it that way, i just tend to go around justifying my behavior.  You know, i'd prolly be alot happier if i stopped fighting him.. now thats something to contemplate!

Oh an the whole point of writing all this out is.  i just cant see my way clear to say "yes i'm a slave" or even "its natural for me to be a slave"  Maybe one day.. Nor cani see my way clear to saying "i'm the real thing"  Cos i know TONS of ppl who are so much better at all this stuff.  At times i just generally suck.  i'm terrible.  Didnt you see my post where when he told me to kiss it, i reach out and smacked it instead?  (goooooood lord that was funny)  i know he thought it was funny, but he had to quell his humour and get after me so i dont go thinking the lines been moved.  See i am terrible.  i've NEVER heard of a slave reaching out to smack their Master's penis, even if it is only playful. 

So while "No, i cant disobey direct commands"  (it gives me butterflies) and he also knows (as he's told me) i'd never deny him anything, nor have i ever told him no.  Well okay, i've done so playfully.. but that was only in the past 3 months.  Yes, i've tried making a stand with him, yes i've tried holding myself back, and yes i'm good at knowing when its okay to break the rules when its not.  Yes, i get away with anything i can get away with.  See i'm terrible.

No offense, and no disrespect intended, but i think yer wrong.

(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 60
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