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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/20/2010 11:05:31 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I think the only worthwhile reward is multiple orgasms.

Or really hot shoes.

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/20/2010 11:59:21 AM   
HisEvelyn


Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline 		For me, serving Master is its own reward. I don't need anything more. When he knows I've tried exceptionally hard to overcome something that is difficult for me? "Good girl" just makes me glow. But for everyday? Simply to be able to serve a man I love and respect is bliss all by itself.

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/20/2010 4:29:36 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I think the only worthwhile reward is multiple orgasms.

Or really hot shoes.

Hey, one begets the other.  Suppsed to make your legs look so hot he wants to lick or fuck you into multiple orgasms.

What type of shoes are wearing?


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I give good thread.

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/20/2010 4:59:06 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I think the only worthwhile reward is multiple orgasms.

Or really hot shoes.

Hey, one begets the other.  Suppsed to make your legs look so hot he wants to lick or fuck you into multiple orgasms.

What type of shoes are wearing?



Fuck me pumps. What else?

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/20/2010 5:13:01 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Fuck me pumps. What else?

I won the bet I just made with myself. I knew it

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/20/2010 5:25:58 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		~FR to sexyred1

Well, my screen name does imply I deal with sets of shoes.

Perhaps, yours need a quality assessment?


OP, I noticed in the other thread you mentioned Asperger's.

This does indeed put you at a great disadvantage here.

Personally, I would recommend you be really careful with "negative reinforcement" if you believe your ability to discern others' emotions is limited.

As for "rewards":

Other than the 2 things sexyred1 said, I think most of the things you'd do are the same as the one's you'd do to make someone like you or show them you appreciate them.

It could be getting them ice cream.
A compliment.
Doing them a favor.
Telling them what you appreciate about them/something they did.

As Jeff said, for most of us this seems really easy, but if you want to know just "ask" what makes them happy and do/acknowledge that.

Asking still works better than guessing, even if you have really good instincts.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 9/20/2010 6:01:33 PM >

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/20/2010 5:54:44 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Fuck me pumps. What else?

I won the bet I just made with myself. I knew it


LOL, well you didn't think I would say UGG boots did you? What color pumps were in the bet?

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/20/2010 6:23:08 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

LOL, well you didn't think I would say UGG boots did you? What color pumps were in the bet?

Well I hadn't actually specified anything past 'fuck-me pumps', but now I'm gonna guess a classic black? And if you aren't currently wearing them then you definitely own them.

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/20/2010 8:38:08 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Black it is, VC. Maybe we could have a girl's sleepover and model shoes for each other? :)

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/20/2010 9:16:51 PM   
masterxdark


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/16/2010
Status: offline 		Well, to be "fair" to the OP (which it seems most are now being) it really is not an "obvious answer", because it's different for every individual/relationship.

It's the dynamic of the relationship that dictates what type, if any, of "reward" is given, as everyone is different, and every relationship is different.

As stated by some here, the "reward" is the solidity of the relationship itself, and being happy with their Master, should the Slave feel they're being used/put to use the way that fulfills them. For others, it's that, plus a "Good girl" every-so-often. For many, just having a Master who cares for and protects them is reward enough, as many have said here.

In truth, simply fulfilling one of the desires of the Slave, which to "normal people" would seem like punishment, could also be seen as "reward". If a Slave finds pleasure from being used sexually or humiliated, or being "punished" in some way that, for another, might be considered punishment for doing something wrong, then fulfilling that for them is reward.

You have to know your partner/Slave, and you have to understand: "punishment" for one can be reward for another and/or can come in the smallest or most "every day" of forms. Everyone is different.

To see the full picture, look at it from the other perspective: what would "punishment" be for the Sub/Slave?

If "punishment" would be to ignore them, not use them for your own pleasure, to not give them some use or pain they crave, then in-turn all you have to do is look at it from the opposite perspective: fulfilling one of those things for them is "reward" enough.

Or it could come down to "rewarding" them by letting do (as someone else has said) something on which limits have been put... time on the computer, watching TV, taking a walk... anything they might enjoy, but upon which limits have been imposed, as that's one of the roles of the Master: control, which is what the Slave wants.

I might not have worded all of this as well as I'd have liked, I'm having a damn migraine, but you'll probably get the point.

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/20/2010 10:44:37 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Damn. Kinkster's are getting soft.Freaking Doms union ain't what it once was...sigh...but what is.

Good behavior is the minimum expected standard-I ain't rewarding anyone for that.
That would be asking o going up to my boss and wanting a pat on the head for being on time and ready to go everyday.
Now superlatives (which sometimes/often/frequently means just putting up with me and my nonsense), going above and beyond, they get rewards


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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/20/2010 11:57:50 PM   
AQuietSimpleMan


Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline 		I promise not to have her killed in the morning.

QSM

Good Night Wesley, I'll most likely kill you in the morning.

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/21/2010 12:03:47 AM   
BentUnit


Posts: 897
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I think the only worthwhile reward is multiple orgasms.

Or really hot shoes.


Hahahaha!

You took the words out of my mouth, Red!



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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/21/2010 1:14:05 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Can't help ya there, OP. I don't have a reward/punishment dynamic with My slave. It just doesn't interest me.

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/21/2010 1:28:05 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Black it is, VC. Maybe we could have a girl's sleepover and model shoes for each other? :)


Woohoo! Clearly my in-shoe-ition is working

We have a sleepover and that's what you want to be doing?

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/21/2010 7:30:28 AM   
littlebitxxx


Posts: 732
Status: offline 		Mmmm, MO's and shoes!  Now THAT's the ticket!  

Seriously and to the OP, you don't need to have a punishment/reward dynamic, you do whatever suits you and who you're with.  Ours is more based on learning what He wants and just doing it, correction if it gets screwed up, a bit of discipline thrown in to keep it all in line, feedback as to how it's going, etc.  Master says thank you when His coffee is refilled and He's happy with it.  If He's not happy with it, He'll ask if we ran out of sugar or something..hint hint hint to go and fix it.  No big deal.   If something is done wrong, or not done when it should be, He doesn't make a great production out of it.  Most of the time He'll do it Himself or ask for it to be done.  He knows darn well that His slave will beat herself up about it....saves Him the trouble, hmm?  

As for rewards,  when Master's happy, it's all good.  There's much laughter and talk and doing and touching going on, life is grand and THAT is the reward here.  The "good girl", the kiss on the forehead, is all icing on the cake. 


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It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/21/2010 7:43:03 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Black it is, VC. Maybe we could have a girl's sleepover and model shoes for each other? :)


Woohoo! Clearly my in-shoe-ition is working

We have a sleepover and that's what you want to be doing?


A. In-shoe-ition is brilliant, as usual my pretty!
B. Of course not, I never said what we would be doing with the shoes on, did I now?


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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/21/2010 10:27:02 AM   
RipenReady


Posts: 35
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline 		i've noticed quite a few people have said this but i'm going to have to agree..just knowing that what i've done pleases Him is reward enough.  A simple hug and wiping the tears from my cheeks does wonders.  Having my hair pulled or having the privledge to have sex with Him..it just really depends on the person.  "Good girl" is enough to know that you pleased Him and that He is happy with what you've done.  Heck, just being with Him is enough reward for me.  Also, knowing that i'm the only one and being able to keep it that way. 

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RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/21/2010 10:50:42 AM   
Keliarra


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

I promise not to have her killed in the morning.

QSM

Good Night Wesley, I'll most likely kill you in the morning.



*giggles* Dread Pirate Roberts in the flesh?

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: How do you 'reward' your sub/slave? - 9/21/2010 11:54:20 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: notomorrow
I am new to all of this, and while methods of punishment for misbehavior is fairly obvious, what about rewards for good behavior?
Oh man. So you've got the negative incentives down cold and you wonder what positive reinforcements you can provide? And you're looking for a submissive, not a bottom? That is a serious problem. In short you want some woman to give at least a part of herself to you, but you have no idea what you can offer in return. I'd say your screwed and not in a good way. Were it me, I would never, ever return to this thread. Instead, what I'd do is go hide in the bedroom/attic/whatever all by myself and do some deep thinking about what you have to OFFER someone else. Not what you want out of them.

In real leadership scenarios, it is pretty much always the exact opposite. The rewards are the easy and obvious part. It's the disciplinary actions which take vast amounts of thought.

Unless... of course... it is your intent to build a fear based relationship in which case, carry on, all is well.


I couldn't have said it better. As usual Jeff hit the target with every shot. I will add that rewarding a slave collared to Bruin Cottage or to me personally depends on the individual and what I know she will appreciate. from some time to do her thing, a special outing to a place or event I know she really wants to go, even a special spanking , bondage session or needle play all come into play as well as affirming to her that I am both pleased with her and proud of her. Like Jeff, I believe that punishment is the most difficult especially portioning it out in a just manner.

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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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