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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 2:34:24 AM

MercTech

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The original premise seems to mix and confuse "survivor's guilt", the nagging feeling that they could or should have done something different, with the natural "stages of grieving", one of which is anger.

Stefan

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 2:54:37 AM

subinlife

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Some people have a twisted mind, and that is more scary then the sixteen years of hell I survived.

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Post #: 62

RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 5:18:27 AM

JstAnotherSub

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~FR~

I will willingly give in to use a flogger on the OP, because I am always looking for ways to please.. Since I really really wanna release my anger, I would prefer the flogger be made of barbed wire (razor wire if we really want me to purge all my demons), with heavy metal balls strategically placed for more impact. I will, of course, make use of my sub and giving side first, by giving him a full body massage......using vicks salve and ben-gay.

Damn I feel better already. The OP might be on to something.

C'mere big boy,

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 5:47:54 AM

BurntKitty

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The OP messaged me when I first joined CM. He kept pressing to ask if I was a survivor of a sexual assault. The more I sidestepped it, the harder he pressed. Then he wanted to know the extent of my sadism if I were to meet a molester. I let him know I wasn't interested in continuing the messages as it left me feeling creeped out.

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 6:19:23 AM

BentUnit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BurntKitty

The OP messaged me when I first joined CM. He kept pressing to ask if I was a survivor of a sexual assault. The more I sidestepped it, the harder he pressed. Then he wanted to know the extent of my sadism if I were to meet a molester. I let him know I wasn't interested in continuing the messages as it left me feeling creeped out.

It's obvious the OP has issues, Sweetheart.

I applaud your strength.
The sick thing is about his sort of threads it prompts his sort of "Victim's" to address his sick, twisted quires.
I would ask any woman who has identified herself as a survivor of sexual assault to place this person (the OP) on block lest you get a similar PM as BurntKitty because rest assured he's taken note.

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 6:34:55 AM

daintydimples

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To the OP: The assumption that anyone who self identifies as a masochist or a sadist is mentally ill and/or unstable is what gives BDSMers such a bad rap. That is a very common misconception: "If you get off on hurting someone, or being hurt, there is something wrong with you." Many people harbor this misconception, b/c they fail to understand a basic about people, which is that we are all wired very differently, and what is normal for me might not be normal for you.

To all other posters:
An actual discussion as to why people are wired the way they are could actually be quite interesting. Is it nature, or nurture? Or both? I think most agree it is a combination of both, but how they interact together in the human psyche appears to be quite complex.

Now, I will agree that most females subs have been sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. This is b/c most females have been sexually assaulted. I will also agree many people into BDSM have been abused as children, but again this is b/c so many children are abused. I would also agree that many trauma victims as well as many predators are drawn to this lifestyle as a way of assuaging guilt and/or finding victims. That doesn't make it right. If you need therapy to get over past trauma, you should get some. I have.

Without getting too personal I will admit therapy has helped me tremendously. However, I am still wired the same way.

Like everyone else who posted (aside from the OP) I find his guise of using "dominance" and "therapy" as a means to perpetuate past abuse more than a little scary. Unfortunately, he is not that unusual. He is merely being very out front about it. Reasons for being very wary of who you decide to submit to.

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 7:09:24 AM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BurntKitty

The OP messaged me when I first joined CM. He kept pressing to ask if I was a survivor of a sexual assault. The more I sidestepped it, the harder he pressed. Then he wanted to know the extent of my sadism if I were to meet a molester. I let him know I wasn't interested in continuing the messages as it left me feeling creeped out.

Just to be absolutely totally explicit (this is something I'm sure you know but I want it down in black and bluish-grey anyway):

The OP is not normal. This is not a normal kink or a normal man or a normal way of approach. It was not ok for him to press you like that. There are some absolutely fantastic Doms on this site, and he should not be taken as representative of them. I'm sorry you had to interact with one of the creepy ones, but I promise parts of CM are so much better than that.

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 7:48:38 AM

LadyPact

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Speaking as someone who is an edge player (and I agree with a prior poster who mentions that electrical play is edge play) who has done some (not all) of the things mentioned in this thread, I'm willing to give odds that I'm safer to deal with than someone who believes play is a good way of venting anger. As a sadist, I don't believe in venting My frustrations or anger about a third party is a good way to be connecting with the person that I'm playing with. I also believe that I don't have the type of control necessary to play if My emotions are in such a state where I would not be accurate or I couldn't land blows where I wanted them. I would consider Myself distracted and unfocused, which is not the best mindset for a top who is inflicting pain on another.

I don't see this to be any different should someone consider themselves a submissive, rather than a sadist. I think doing so is less safe than branding My sub, engaging in needle play, cutting, or anything else that's been mentioned. I also don't consider Myself a therapist and I certainly don't believe that BDSM should be attempted to be used as some sort of replacement for any type of therapy. That's a hell of a lot more dangerous than any type of play that I engage in.

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 7:49:13 AM

ResidentSadist

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-fr
WTF? Shouldn't this be in "Introduce Yourself" since we could reduce the OP to a few words: "Anyone here wanna' beat my ass with anger and malice?"

Poorly veiled trolling at best and I hope the mods put it where it belongs, in the trash.

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I give good thread.

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 7:52:09 AM

GreedyTop

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~FR~ *adores the woman behind the curtain*

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 8:02:53 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

I don't see this to be any different should someone consider themselves a submissive, rather than a sadist. I think doing so is less safe than branding My sub, engaging in needle play, cutting, or anything else that's been mentioned. I also don't consider Myself a therapist and I certainly don't believe that BDSM should be attempted to be used as some sort of replacement for any type of therapy. That's a hell of a lot more dangerous than any type of play that I engage in.

Amen!

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 8:09:00 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I would consider Myself distracted and unfocused, which is not the best mindset for a top who is inflicting pain on another.

and

quote:

I also don't consider Myself a therapist and I certainly don't believe that BDSM should be attempted to be used as some sort of replacement for any type of therapy. That's a hell of a lot more dangerous than any type of play that I engage in.

Agreed. This type of scenario would be all about the "survivor" and wouldn't be taking the "subject" (masochist?) into account at all. In fact, the top in this scenario could very well forget where he/she is, as the mind could take him/her right back to the place of abuse. I see the end result as turning both parties into a "survivor".

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 8:12:11 AM

MasterMalcolm

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*Plants a sign*
It says:
"Don't feed the troll!"

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 8:50:28 AM

BentUnit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMalcolm

*Plants a sign*
It says:
"Don't feed the troll!"

You know it, Brother!

Preach it!

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 9:12:49 AM

WhipTheHip

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I know several dozen survivors who have tried this. All told me they felt better afterwards, that it was very theraputic for them. None suffered any damage. I have remained in contact with most of them. In every case precautions were taken in case the survivor experienced a flashback. There is a name for this treatment in psychology. It is called psychodrama. It entails cathartic release of toxic emotions. If this is not something that interests you, I respect that. But I would not judge the survivors who found this form of role-play theraputic. or the masochistic bottoms who benefited from it. No submissive bottom was ever injured. No survivor ever expressed any regret. Many Dommes subconsciously use anger from their abuse in their play. Their male masochists subs are happy they are able to help their Dommes in this manner. Many female subs found once in a blue moon, this role-play helps them. I generally get a small fee from both the survivor and the masochist. I provide a female bouncer to ensure things dont get out of hand. She helps the survivor in the event the survivor experiences a flashback. The point of these sessions is cathartic release of bottled-up, repressed emotions. Judging by the responses Ive read here, most of you seem to have a great deal of bottled-up hostility, and repressed emotions. You seem to get-off on emotional abuse and putting others down. I am sorry if I responded in kind. Forgive me. I am sensitive to the people I interact with. Nasty, negative, hostile people bring out a side of me I dont like. I try to avoid them at all costs. The nicer people are with me, the nicer I am with them. In fact I always try to always repay kindness two-fold. I should have realized everyone on these boards is a know-it-all.

< Message edited by WhipTheHip -- 9/20/2010 9:16:52 AM >

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 9:15:49 AM

JstAnotherSub

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BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE

Maybe that will work, as it seems he got conjured up from the "do you ever wonder" resurrected thread.....

abbracadabra alakazam, added just for good measure.

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 9:23:31 AM

stef

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I thought you were leaving?

How is that little love commune you were trying to put together coming along? Have you been able to find enough gullible, emotionally damaged "slaves" to start it yet?

~stef

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 9:31:33 AM

mistoferin

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Are you or any member of your "staff" licensed mental health professionals (the female bouncer maybe?)?

Is this "therapy" sanctioned or overseen by any accredited agency?

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Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

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RE: Any survivor want to release anger - 9/20/2010 9:40:26 AM

Twoshoes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip
No submissive bottom was ever injured. No survivor ever expressed any regret. Many Dommes subconsciously use anger from their abuse in their play. Their male masochists subs are happy they are able to help their Dommes in this manner.

But I earnestly try my hardest to please 'ze Dommes.
Why would they be subconsciously angry at me?