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Icarys -> RE: Obeying isnt 1 +1 (9/25/2010 10:27:30 AM)
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quote:
Anyway, I think I understand what you mean in a bdsm sense. Some people on here have described that attitude as generous or giving. It's also intelligent and practical, as it indicates you know your place and role in the relationship and don't (falsely) see the role of the other person as automatically less generous or more taking or privleged: you don't automatically think that they have it better than you because they are the dominant. In my experience, what makes it extremely challenging to keep up an all around good attitude, is very long denial (years) of normal human needs for company, for touch, for sex, for even hearing another's voice. Isolation gets dispiriting, particularly if its imposed after a long natual isolation (like that which occurs when one's mate dies). After a certain lengthy point, the longer it goes on the worse your emotional climate can get, because you begin to lose all hope of anything real ever happening. Still, hard times happen in relationships, even solid bdsm relationships, and there is no hard rule that says they can't sometimes they happen in the very early stages. I think that even under considerable duress, it's important to see something you think is potentially extremely worthwhile through to the end, doing your best all the while. Part of "holding up your end of the deal," after all, is not quitting prematurely.
On occasion things do happen..I know this and expect it and I can deal with a lot in this world when it comes to a relationship unless it's a person with a bad attitude. It seems to be the norm, no? So much so that as you've pointed out, the people with good attitudes stand out like soar thumbs..It's all around us and you can see it in how people do their jobs, interact in personal relationships and basically go through life. It definitely comes out in how they obey. Everything from being self-centered to egotistical and everything in-between.
I've had good relationships so I know what to look for. I'll stay right by myself till I find it. I have friends, family and a good life to keep me busy till then. If it doesn't happen before I get to Alaska..well like everything else..I'll figure that out.[:D] Besides...I'm without a female right now and I'm the happiest I've been in a log time.
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