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samboct -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/11/2010 12:02:40 PM)
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Wyld Hrt-
Thanks for the offer, but I don't think it's necessary. See below.
Lady Pact and Icarys
Thank you both for the time and effort to gather enough data so we have some reasonable ideas as to what's going on, rather than just WAGs (wild ass guesses) and unmeasured numbers of insults.
While your findings are not wholly unexpected, the number of hurtful responses after a polite rejection is much higher than I would have guessed. Scientists are taught that arguing with data is done at your own peril, so I'll defer to your findings.
Clearly, there are two separate issues that need to be resolved here-
1) Too many emails.
2) Nastygrams following polite rejections.
First- too many emails. Some additional thoughts and suggestions-
1) Allow users to limit their mailbox size. When setting up a new profile, perhaps site admins could suggest a default size of say 20 messages. Users that want more mail can request a larger mailbox.
2) So that men (and for the purposes of this discussion, I'm going to use men largely interchangeably with initial senders, because most of the time it's a reasonable assumption) don't get frustrated with spending an hour composing an email to a new contact and then finding out that the mailbox was full, a flag when you click on the box "Send mail to this user" needs to come up. Don't know if that happens these days, never gotten a response that says Mailbox full.
3) Allow only one message to a user from an individual sender or have this set by the user. Given the controls on this site which allow you to modify mail after it's been sent if the recipient hasn't read it already, there's no reason for multiple messages from a single user to a person that hasn't responded to the initial contact. While adolescents and youngsters may find it fun to send gazillions of text messages, on this site, that's getting abused. If we limit mailbox size, it's really going to become an issue.
I think this should help limit the deluge that new female users get. It may leave some people a bit frustrated, but if LP's findings are representative, basically you've got 50 emails to sort through before striking a nugget. That would suggest a longer term outlook toward finding someone reasonable. If you're an impatient domme, this may be annoying.
Second problem- and possibly more pernicious... How to deal with the nastygrams that come after a polite rejection....
1) The purpose of these nastygrams is clear- its to express anger and vengeance. It is NOT to meet someone- it's completely counterproductive. How many people after receiving a nastygram are going to say, gee, it's been six months, I wonder whatever happened to so and so?
2) If spam is not desirable on this site- neither are nastygrams. LadyPact's comment is that the spam controls are working pretty well. I suspect that nastygram controls using the same idea would work too. One of the problems may be that the Report a Message feature is set to trigger with too many users- that a more aggressive number for a trigger is probably called for. If it's set at 24 for example, perhaps setting it at a dozen- maybe fewer would be a better idea. I'm just guessing on the numbers by the way- I have no idea how many times getting reported for spam gets you booted. So we have existing controls, they may just need to be set more sensitively.
3) Setting the report a message filter to respond more quickly after an exchange has occurred. Clearly, we're not so worried about rude initial contacts anymore as much as nastygrams following a response. Setting the trigger for when action is taken after an initial response to a more sensitive value should make senders of nastygrams get flagged more quickly. It won't be possible to stop them all, but we should be able to reduce the frequency.
4) Have an additional reporting button- Previously blocked user. Clearly a lot of women are concerned that when they block someone, they just create a new profile and return. Well, if there's a way to identify these people quickly, i.e. a previously blocked user button, they'll be identified more quickly. Again, it should cut down on the numbers, but won't eliminate this practice entirely.
What I'm a little concerned about is too many settings can make the site seem daunting for the new user. I do think a good "Welcome to Collar Me" with some concrete suggestions to make the most of this site might also be helpful. Or a sticky or a button in the help section on "Making the most of CM" or something similar.
Thoughts?
Sam
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