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The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 7:07:45 PM   
darkmatter24


Posts: 34
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline 		I've noticed that it's very frequent for Collarme users to state their preference that they are only willing to communicate with users who include pictures in their profiles. Of course this is primarily coming from users who have profile pictures themselves.

While I understand the intuitive reasoning behind it, the notion that a picture in some way legitimizes a profile, I also think that it's rather faulty reasoning. I cannot imagine that a working professional who values his career, from an office drone to an upper management executive, or any type of public figure/social worker/politician etc... could possibly afford to post a facial picture of themselves without running a big risk of having their everyday life severely compromised, and perhaps their career/reputation permanently ruined.

This means that by indiscriminately discarding profiles without pictures, even the well written and insightful ones, many users are ignoring the potential matches that carry the most promise. Obviously fake profiles abound here, but their merit can be pretty accurately assessed by actually reading what the person has to say and of course by communicating.

Just some food for thought. :-)


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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 7:09:52 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		If they require a pic and you don't have one then consider yourselves incompatible because it's more than likely it's not the only issue you don't see eye to eye on.

So just move on and click to the next profile for better luck.


(in reply to darkmatter24)
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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 7:15:07 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline
I think it depends on the type of picture as well. I only have very vanilla shots and I'll be honest I own my own business and my other job is doing marketing for my Man, so there isn't any issue there. I have no children and I don't list any sexual likes or interests either so I don't really care who stumbles upon it. I don't correspond with people that don't have a photo unless I know them away from here, so I guess it's a decision you have to make for yourself.

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As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 7:16:41 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		I really think the majority of people that demand you have a profile picture up before they even
give you the time of day are more shallow than they are concerned over your being a legitimate person.
Id expect, if there were obvious shared interests between us, followed by some comfortable dialogue,
sharing a picture would not be unreasonable, and it would only be then, if refused, that I may question ones motives.

< Message edited by poise -- 10/15/2010 7:18:29 PM >

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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 7:28:08 PM   
darkmatter24


Posts: 34
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88
I think it depends on the type of picture as well. I only have very vanilla shots and I'll be honest I own my own business and my other job is doing marketing for my Man, so there isn't any issue there.


Well, the very nature of the site would give most people out there hang-ups. And yes, there are some jobs that people do where the impact is really negligible, or their family situation doesn't interfere, but for the most part, I feel that it is a valid point of concern.

Sometimes it gets repetitive seeing in numerous profiles that there are no 'real' people around here and it's no wonder since people don't seem to be looking at the actual content. Many people who have a vanilla life outside of here are cautious (as they should be) about exposing their face to the world on a website whose focus is generally considered taboo.



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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 7:34:04 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darkmatter24

This means that by indiscriminately discarding profiles without pictures, even the well written and insightful ones, many users are ignoring the potential matches that carry the most promise.

And yet, they seem to find a way to go on with their lives.

~stef


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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 7:39:36 PM   
darkmatter24


Posts: 34
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkmatter24

This means that by indiscriminately discarding profiles without pictures, even the well written and insightful ones, many users are ignoring the potential matches that carry the most promise.

And yet, they seem to find a way to go on with their lives.
~stef


It's not a matter of life and death, obviously, just an observation and a potentially helpful tip.

(in reply to stef)
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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 7:43:25 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		I have to agree with Da Poise on this, I didn't repost pics of myself until recently, and they're innocuous.  But then they're also not my main profile pic.  It took over 3 weeks of chatting with Tigger before he sent me a picture, I never asked for one either.  He has a job that requires much discretion and until he decided that I was trustworthy it was his decision to make. 

I especially abhor those who require pics, and the nude requisite too but won't post even a single one of themselves when there is already a pic available to be seen. 

And how the hell does a pic prove who you are to begin with?  So many porno shots, so many dingledouches posting them.  Hey, we know they're not you, whatcha got to hide?

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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 7:52:38 PM   
Kreevillicious


Posts: 52
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Life is Good
Status: offline 		You could post a photo of your silhouette, or from the neck down, or with sunglasses, or wearing a demi-mask, or a picture taken from a distance. Take a look at the pictures on some of the other profiles, and you'll see there are plenty of creative options being utilized.

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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 7:56:10 PM   
igor2003


Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		It's not necessarily a matter of whether the profile is legitimate or not.  Many people,  both men and women, are visual creatures and many times if they are looking for a "hookup" or a relationship they want to know whether they find the person they are communicating with or considering communicating with attractive visually. 

Think about it this way...suppose you find a profile that has no picture but the text of the profile indicates that you have similar interests, backgrounds, future desires, etc.  So you write to them and they seem to share your desire to learn more about each other.  You write back and forth for a few weeks, maybe even share a phone call or three.  You find yourself falling in serious like with this person so the two of you decide to exchange photos.  Now (assuming you are a male seeking a female) you find out she has buck teeth (what teeth she has left), stringy hair, and coke bottle glasses...a very nice personality, but definitely not someone that turns you on or that you might want to spend the rest of your life with.

Now you have wasted their time as well as yours.  Wasted time which could have been totally avoided had there been a photo to begin with.

Or it could end up being you that is later rejected.  I'm not an "ugly" person (just ask my mother if you don't believe me!)   I have written to quite a number of photo-less profiles, both here and on other sites, where we have exchanged a number of emails, etc, and things seem to be progressing nicely.  But frequently once I have sent them my photo I never hear from them again, often without ever even receiving their photo.  It's much simpler to just start things off with a recent photo.

For people just wanting to communicate with like minded people or simply to socialize on line the need for a photo is not as important, though it is really nice to know what the person you are communicating with looks like...face to a name kind of thing.

_____________________________

If the women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy. - Red Green

At my age erections are like cops...there's never one around when you need it!

Never miss a good chance to shut up. - Will Rogers


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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 8:00:31 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		I was with my last Dom for almost a year, I had no idea what he looked like and didn't care, he had thick coke bottle glasses, lousy teeth, and wasn't what anyone would consider good-looking.  But he got to me with his words and his understanding of me.  That was the most important part, not what he looked like.  I may be among the few, but looks aren't everything. 

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 8:02:56 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Besides....you can always put a bag over their head.
By the way Darkmatter...welcome to the forums!

< Message edited by poise -- 10/15/2010 8:03:50 PM >

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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 8:03:46 PM   
darkmatter24


Posts: 34
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kreevillicious
You could post a photo of your silhouette, or from the neck down, or with sunglasses, or wearing a demi-mask, or a picture taken from a distance. Take a look at the pictures on some of the other profiles, and you'll see there are plenty of creative options being utilized.


That's true. I suppose it's a way to at least give some indication as to how a person looks without exposing identity revealing details.

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 8:05:52 PM   
MIsabelah


Posts: 57
Joined: 9/7/2010
Status: offline 		darkmatter, thank you for saying this, I have photos but I do not show face photos on this site (I do show other parts of my body). I have a professional life outside of this lifestyle and not everyone you meet is completely sane or 100% stable. Plus CM is not like Match.com where everyone accepts the fact you are there looking for someone. Safety is paramount to me. I usually tell others that I have photos but only share them with people I trust and feel comfortable with- basically if I get comfy enough- I will share them. Most are okay with this. If they are not...I move on. Those who post NO PHOTO NOT CHAT- I simply don't chat with them.

(in reply to igor2003)
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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 8:09:24 PM   
igor2003


Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear

I was with my last Dom for almost a year, I had no idea what he looked like and didn't care, he had thick coke bottle glasses, lousy teeth, and wasn't what anyone would consider good-looking.  But he got to me with his words and his understanding of me.  That was the most important part, not what he looked like.  I may be among the few, but looks aren't everything. 


It's good to hear that worked out for you.  For many people it doesn't.  While I do wear glasses, I don't have bad teeth, and am at least "average" looking, and as I mentioned, there have been more times than I care to remember (if I even WANTED to remember) that the person I had been writing to stopped cold with no explaination what-so-ever once they received my photo.  And again as I have mentioned, there were weeks of wasted message exchanges that could have been avoided had we had photos on our profiles (no initial interest to even bother starting to write) or if we had exchanged photos in the first letters or messages and stopped things before anyone started getting their hopes up.

_____________________________

If the women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy. - Red Green

At my age erections are like cops...there's never one around when you need it!

Never miss a good chance to shut up. - Will Rogers


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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 8:10:15 PM   
Nineveh


Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline 		I tend to find that people without photos on their profiles don't usually respond when I msg them.  of course people with photos usually don't either so I guess that may not have anything to do with it.

If a name intrigues me I'll check out the profile, photo or no, if the profile intrigues I'll msg.  the visual isn't that important to me anyways so if I find out she's snagggletoothed later on I'm not going to be crushed.

(in reply to MIsabelah)
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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 8:20:43 PM   
darkmatter24


Posts: 34
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003
It's not necessarily a matter of whether the profile is legitimate or not.  Many people,  both men and women, are visual creatures and many times if they are looking for a "hookup" or a relationship they want to know whether they find the person they are communicating with or considering communicating with attractive visually.


Yeah, I suppose I just give people far too much credit in believing their typical claims that they are actually seeking a genuine connection and not just a casual hookup.

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003
Think about it this way...suppose you find a profile that has no picture but the text of the profile indicates that you have similar interests, backgrounds, future desires, etc.  So you write to them and they seem to share your desire to learn more about each other.  You write back and forth for a few weeks, maybe even share a phone call or three.  You find yourself falling in serious like with this person so the two of you decide to exchange photos.  Now (assuming you are a male seeking a female) you find out she has buck teeth (what teeth she has left), stringy hair, and coke bottle glasses...a very nice personality, but definitely not someone that turns you on or that you might want to spend the rest of your life with.


Well, here's the thing. The chances of meeting someone physically attractive are rather high. There are a lot of pretty people out there. Now, on the other hand, the chances of actually clicking with somebody are significantly lower so it makes sense, at least to me, to get the difficult part out of the way first.

A lot can be derived from the person's profile, such as height, weight, age, body type, hair color. As long as the other person is honest about their physical attributes then a total disappointment isn't all that likely. Besides, even a photo can be misleading. It could be old, embellished or downright fake.

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003
Or it could end up being you that is later rejected.  I'm not an "ugly" person (just ask my mother if you don't believe me!)   I have written to quite a number of photo-less profiles, both here and on other sites, where we have exchanged a number of emails, etc, and things seem to be progressing nicely.  But frequently once I have sent them my photo I never hear from them again, often without ever even receiving their photo.  It's much simpler to just start things off with a recent photo.


I also have nothing to be embarrassed as far as my physical appearance, but I consider posting a photo too risky. Perhaps I am being too paranoid about it, maybe nobody I know or care about would stumble upon it in a million years, but I actually have an acquaintance who lost a prominent job because he was running an online store selling adult videos on the side. He wasn't even making the videos, just reselling, but the very notion of being involved in something adult was enough to spur moralists into action.

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003
For people just wanting to communicate with like minded people or simply to socialize on line the need for a photo is not as important, though it is really nice to know what the person you are communicating with looks like...face to a name kind of thing.


I have a personal rule that I can send a photo once I start communicating with someone and get a feel for a person. It seems to be a reasonable compromise to not waste each others' time too much, but I think that a lot of people are somewhat prejudiced about being messaged by photo-less users not the least because of some of the reasons stated in the original post. That and being superficial instant gratificators of course. :)

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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 8:38:06 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		OKCupid posted data after analyzing hundreds of thousands of profie photos. Pics with a face do *not* receive more responses than pics without a face. Pics that are sexy and mysterious receive way more responses than pics that are bland and drivers licency. Presence or absence of a face is irrelevant.

darkmatter, you sound to me like a passive-aggressive whiner, and that personality trait is more likely to stand in your way than any photo yoy may or may not post. I don't post a photo of my face, and I haver often received unsolicited email from women telling me how beautiful the waterfall in my pic is. If you are sooooo uncreative as to be unable to take a good photo of yourself that is face-free, you don't deserve to date any of my female friends, that is for sure. Stop pissing about like a little bitch and market yourself.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 8:48:20 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Whew! Tell it, RedMagic!

Your friend, Hib

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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/15/2010 8:50:21 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
I don't post a photo of my face, and I haver often received unsolicited email from women telling me how beautiful the waterfall in my pic is.


Please dont tell me that isnt your butt climbing that slope.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

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