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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Poly doesn't really have anything to do with whether or not someone is wanking to the idea.  A lot of people make the distinction between polyamory, which many see as multiple emotional relationships and polyfuckery which is basically just a sexual relationship with multiple partners. 

I didn't see anywhere in the original that this is only a dream of his.  It's quite possible that the person the OP is involved with has had prior experience in being in a poly situation before and he prefers having multiple loves rather than monogamy.  Very much the same as if My situation would change or My marriage would end.  It wouldn't change Me being more suited to poly.  It would just mean that I didn't have current partners.  The situation wouldn't stop My preference for being poly.

If I were single, very much like the situation described in this topic, I'd still be telling people that I am poly and will most likely have additional relationships.  That's something that anyone that I meet interested in having a relationship with Me has to make their own determinations on whether they are compatible with the idea or not.

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I soon would find myself out on my ear and very single.
so my only chance at poly

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ORIGINAL: ranja
I think it has everything to do with what someone wanks off to… if he does not even wank off to it why would he want it for real?
Poly just means more, some want poly as in living in a commune and others poly as in more sexual partners and some manage to have both which I presume is what most poly type people here aspire to.
Do I live in a poly amorous household too because there are more people I have emotional ties with than just my Husband? I don’t think so.
I think that talk about poly on this site is mainly polyfuckery as you put it, and I think it is save to assume that the op’s master wants to achieve exactly that; another body to fuck… and they are not looking for another boy for her I take it… something she might be more agreeable to perhaps and it would be just as poly.
If it has nothing to do at all with sex they could just hire a cleaner or rent a room to a student or something.

He might well have previous experience, I don’t know, fact is that the op was not an addition, he was single when they met. It might be a preference of his to have multiple sex partners, I can sympathize, it does not mean that you need this as you well know Lady Pact, you stated many times you would pack your poly in (poor chip) if your husband would no longer agree with it.
As we both know, a person can only be in an open poly situation if all people involved are ok with this… and she is not… so why is he looking… I think they have a massive problem

My advice to the op (if she even wants to keep him) is to fuck him as often as possible, allow him access to her body always and ask for more. Make sure she is plenty enough for him and hot as hell
I do believe that the reason poly people can be monogamous is because the exitement of the new person is enough for them... indeed as soon as interest wanes a new excitement might be desired, but they still want old familliar on the back burner for comfort, i think it is extremely selfish behaviour and i can totally relate to it.

Considering the op's jealousy i suspect if the master wants to keep her happyish that his poly ‘needs’ might be better taken care of if he discreetly cheats... alternatively he can be brave and split up... because forcing ahead with this poly wish of his causing the op, his 1st girl, to be jealous... might indeed end with her standing there holding the gun

Also I do not think that being poly or monogamous is in any way comparable with being gay or straight, as it seems that all poly people are quite ok with being monogamous too for a while whereas gay or straight people are hardly every ok to be the other for a while until a better match comes along.
I do agree that some people are more… fluid (for want of a better word) monogamous, poly, straight or gay, I could be all of these I think… I even start suspecting I could be a switch… but as it stands I am a straight monogamous submissive wife.
If I was single I would be a single female and that would be it… until I would have a relationship again then I would not be single anymore, but half of a couple or maybe the 3rd in another relationship in which case I would be part of a poly … or maybe I would be someone’s bit on the side, in that case I would be someone’s bit of poly while I myself was still single really… or maybe I would take two lovers who may or not know about each other, oh the possibilities are endless.

What is not possible however is for me to have an open poly situation now… because my significant other won’t entertain the idea at all and if I were to try and find an addition to our household (other than inviting my mother to stay over every so often)  I soon would find myself out on my ear and very single.
so my only chance at poly is if i cheat very discreetly... but i am too chicken, so i go dancing instead, with his permission.

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ORIGINAL: ranja
My advice to the op (if she even wants to keep him) is to fuck him as often as possible, allow him access to her body always and ask for more. Make sure she is plenty enough for him and hot as hell
I do believe that the reason poly people can be monogamous is because the exitement of the new person is enough for them... indeed as soon as interest wanes a new excitement might be desired, but they still want old familliar on the back burner for comfort, i think it is extremely selfish behaviour and i can totally relate to it.

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Considering the op's jealousy i suspect if the master wants to keep her happyish that his poly ‘needs’ might be better taken care of if he discreetly cheats... alternatively he can be brave and split up... because forcing ahead with this poly wish of his causing the op, his 1st girl, to be jealous... might indeed end with her standing there holding the gun

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Also I do not think that being poly or monogamous is in any way comparable with being gay or straight, as it seems that all poly people are quite ok with being monogamous too for a while whereas gay or straight people are hardly every ok to be the other for a while until a better match comes along.

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What is not possible however is for me to have an open poly situation now… because my significant other won’t entertain the idea at all and if I were to try and find an addition to our household (other than inviting my mother to stay over every so often)  I soon would find myself out on my ear and very single.
so my only chance at poly is if i cheat very discreetly... but i am too chicken, so i go dancing instead, with his permission.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact


There are more reasons out there for someone to want to be poly for other than just the sexual.  My own example is a fairly good one here.  Neither one of the males in My life would be able to fill the role that the other one does.  It had nothing to do with Me getting laid more often.  In fact, for the first several months of My dynamic with clip, we didn't have sex.  There was no sexual contact until I collared him and took My sexual rights as his Owner.

Also, it's really important to remember here that not all members of all poly families are involved sexually with every other member of the household.  Some members of poly households aren't having sex with any other member.  For some, the goal is for all members to be sexual with all others, but it doesn't happen as often as some people would like.  That's why those elusive bisexual woman that people will hope will join their households are known as unicorns.

I wouldn't necessarily say that poly automatically means that every person is ok with it.  Obviously, some people do struggle at various points.  The necessary component is that all people in the relationship is aware of each other and the honesty about it is there.  So, to answer your question, unless your husband is aware of your relationships with other men (be they sexual, emotional, or otherwise), no, that doesn't mean that you're poly.

As for poly people being ok in monogamous relationships, I don't find that to be necessarily true.  If I were in the situation described in the original, I would probably go about it in the very same way.  I would make the person aware that I was poly in the beginning, take the first year to solidify the relationship with that first partner, make sure that was stable, and then start the search to add to My household.

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ORIGINAL: ranja
I think that talk about poly on this site is mainly polyfuckery as you put it, and I think it is save to assume that the op’s master wants to achieve exactly that; another body to fuck…

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ORIGINAL: ranja
My advice to the op (if she even wants to keep him) is to fuck him as often as possible, allow him access to her body always and ask for more. Make sure she is plenty enough for him and hot as hell

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:ORIGINAL: ranja
Considering the op's jealousy i suspect if the master wants to keep her happyish that his poly ‘needs’ might be better taken care of if he discreetly cheats... alternatively he can be brave and split up... because forcing ahead with this poly wish of his causing the op, his 1st girl, to be jealous... might indeed end with her standing there holding the gun

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ORIGINAL: ranja
Also I do not think that being poly or monogamous is in any way comparable with being gay or straight, as it seems that all poly people are quite ok with being monogamous too for a while whereas gay or straight people are hardly every ok to be the other for a while until a better match comes along.

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub


You aren't really getting poly.

Polyamory isn't about one partner not being enough. I'm not poly because Valyraen isn't enough. I'm poly because I'm wired to love multiple people romantically. Notice: Romantically not sexually. Right now, it's just Valyraen and I. We aren't monogamous - we just don't have another partner. We're 'poly single' at the moment, not monogamous.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub


You aren't really getting poly.

Polyamory isn't about one partner not being enough. I'm not poly because Valyraen isn't enough. I'm poly because I'm wired to love multiple people romantically. Notice: Romantically not sexually. Right now, it's just Valyraen and I. We aren't monogamous - we just don't have another partner. We're 'poly single' at the moment, not monogamous.

This is probably one of the best explanations I've seen. But I wish the op would return because I'm betting this isn't what her dominant wants. I don't think he wants the two of them to fall in love with a third. I think he wants someone else and for her to stay even though she doesn't want that someone else.

Most of the time when people use poly they don't mean polyamory. They mean multiple sex partners for themselves, not to add love. They mean open instead of poly. And I'm sure you'll admit there's an enormous difference there.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub


You aren't really getting poly.

Polyamory isn't about one partner not being enough. I'm not poly because Valyraen isn't enough. I'm poly because I'm wired to love multiple people romantically. Notice: Romantically not sexually. Right now, it's just Valyraen and I. We aren't monogamous - we just don't have another partner. We're 'poly single' at the moment, not monogamous.

This is probably one of the best explanations I've seen. But I wish the op would return because I'm betting this isn't what her dominant wants. I don't think he wants the two of them to fall in love with a third. I think he wants someone else and for her to stay even though she doesn't want that someone else.

Most of the time when people use poly they don't mean polyamory. They mean multiple sex partners for themselves, not to add love. They mean open instead of poly. And I'm sure you'll admit there's an enormous difference there.

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ORIGINAL: Acer49

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ORIGINAL: Pleasememore

My master is looking for another Sub. I know he loves me but it's killing me. I hate it. I know he needs to do it, but I just wish it were over with. Am I wrong as a Submissive to feel this way. Please tell me.

I am afraid your dominant has confused the definition of need and want. No, it is not wrong of you to feel unnerved. It appears that you dominant is also lacking when it comes to reading his submissive as if he were capable, he would know how upset this is making you. You need to speak to him and tell him how you feel.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Let's try to straighten some of this out.  First, for future reference, My boy's name is clip, with an "L".  I'm sure that's just a typo or a mistake, but I wanted to point that out.

 So, to answer your question, unless your husband is aware of your relationships with other men (be they sexual, emotional, or otherwise), no, that doesn't mean that you're poly.

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ORIGINAL: ranja
My apologies for mistaking clip's name.
i know you and he both have more important relationships and are secondary to each other, it is very good you can organise things this way, i think you are fortunate.
Fact is that people change their minds at some point, clip's wife might leave him and clip might become way more dependent on you then... your husband might change his mind, want an additional woman or man for himself, things might need to be worked out and it does not always matter that certain agreements have been made from the start as life is not static.
Everybody on earth is being poly amorous as people call it, unless you are Billy No mates, we all have different people in our lives who we love for different reasons and in different ways, to me it becomes proper poly if you start loving them sexually as well.

i disagree that you can only be poly if you are honest about it, cheaters are just as poly as people who have everything agreed and hashed out in my opinion.

The op might well have buried her head in the sand when her master said he was poly, but it might just always have remained something they talked about and not something he would actually pursue, people do say things that they don't then do, i could have made that mistake and i totally understand her sinking feeling about this.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

As for cheating being poly, I'm afraid it doesn't work like that and I'm not aware of anyone who is poly that considers cheating the same thing.  The dishonesty that makes the difference tends to make a lot of poly people cringe.  Being poly removes the deception from the situation, which can often be more damaging to a primary relationship than the external relationship that someone has chosen to engage.  Often, it's the lying and broken trust that is far more hurtful to a person than the actual details of what happened between the other parties.