RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do?

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (Full Version)

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WolfyMontgomery -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/21/2010 8:58:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 quote: ORIGINAL: WolfyMontgomery If they want a spunky girl who makes them want to work to Dom them, much like a DaddyDom/little relationship perhaps, then they'd probably enjoy your spunk and demanding self ;) [hijack] Just as an aside, not all littles are pushy mouthy brats that don't listen. Some of us are good girls that listen and obey. Geez. Don't make us all look bad. [/end hijack] Lol sorry, I really didn't mean to make it seem that ALL are like that. It mostly comes from my experiences knowing a friend who is into that, and she is very into being a pushy little girl that her Daddy has to teach manners to. It's what they both really enjoy, he likes having a naughty girl and she likes being one, lol. I don't mean to make all Daddy/little relationships look bad though, honestly =) It is why I said "A Daddy/little relationship" rather than "ALL Daddy/little relationships", but I do understand how you took it the wrong way. Sorry!

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/21/2010 9:00:03 PM)
HUGS.

WolfyMontgomery -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/21/2010 9:08:44 PM)
Yay! =D -ends thread hijacking to go grope Master like the naughty girl she is, bwahahaha-

WyldHrt -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/21/2010 9:20:46 PM)
quote: what's wrong with testing? Just don't be surprised when your Dominant 'tests' you right back. I had one Dom cmail to tell me that when I became his (lol), he would find out what I truly hate and do whatever it was periodically, just to 'test my submission'. Yeah, ok. I took a pass, thanks. For me, life itself presents enough to 'test' most relationships. It sounds like you need to find a D type that is into brats and constantly having their dominance challenged. Most I know aren't into that, but I can think of one or two I'm acquainted with who get off on it. As long as you are upfront about what you want, it's all good.

DarkSteven -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/21/2010 9:25:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyldHrt I had one Dom cmail to tell me that when I became his (lol), he would find out what I truly hate and do whatever it was periodically, just to 'test my submission'. I have asked that on occasion and have been surprised to find out how many female subs truly hate shopping, eating out, and chocolate.

Lockit -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/21/2010 9:26:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: behavingbadly if i manage to get away with too much control they would usually reign me in but damn it i will try. quote: ORIGINAL: WyldHrt if you mean 'discretely' trying to control their actions or the direction of your relationship, it's something else and I would wonder who is in charge. exactly and i think i've managed to be in control of that aspect even with the the strictest mistress. i wondered that too. better not give me too much control of things. You say you are new and don't know so very much and yet you say THEY would usually reign you in and you have managed to be in control of even the strictest mistress. These are your own words. And yet you are so new you don't get this stuff you are asking. You are playing a game somewhere... I happen to believe you know exactly what you are doing.

WyldHrt -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/21/2010 9:29:24 PM)
quote: I have asked that on occasion and have been surprised to find out how many female subs truly hate shopping, eating out, and chocolate. Damn, who knew we all had so much in common? [:D]

littlewonder -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/21/2010 9:30:04 PM)
I get the feeling she knows what she's doing and she's bragging about it. She likes the attention.

Aresidora -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/21/2010 9:40:18 PM)
If I ever start to hate chocolate please put me out of my misery. Give me chocolate or give me death. [:D]

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/21/2010 10:11:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I get the feeling she knows what she's doing and she's bragging about it. She likes the attention. i think so too. And, like Lockit, I think she knows exactly the game that she's playing. The vast majority of Dominants I know would not put up w/ that sort of crap. ~sweetsub~

lally2 -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/22/2010 2:46:00 AM)
.... guys - the clue is in the name i think... [:D]

LaTigresse -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/22/2010 3:47:42 AM)
Yep, the OP is an attention slut and she is definitely getting her fix. I would imagine her in box is full of 'attention'.

MMsCandy -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/22/2010 6:44:49 AM)
Attention sluts?? ONLINE?? No way! Slaps my newb (to CM only) forehead, i just ran into that one! Doh...

angelikaJ -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/22/2010 6:49:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: behavingbadly it's also the reaction of being new to the lifestyle, i want to know where i can be pushed to. That would be perfectly fine, especially since you now have that awareness and can share that information openly and honestly with your mistress/domme. However, being new doesn't relieve you of personal responsibility and is not an excuse for bad behavior. If you want to "brat" then be open about it and find someone who is looking for a brat. If you want to role-play being a naughty school girl who needs to be reigned in by the headmistress then be upfront about that. I think you have more of an awareness of what you are seeking than most of your posts suggest. NOT being upfront about that is only going to lead to unworkable solutions for the everyones involved. Maybe you like the "powertrip" of watching other people being tied up in emotional knots within relationships. (That certainly may not be true but that is how you frequently come across.) If that isn't true then I think you are missing the point of power exchange relationships. That is learnable but you have to have to want to learn. If you don't have the want, then maybe having a mistress is something that for you works better in fantasy...or maybe you just have a lot of growing up to do. [;)]

DommeKeliDallas -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/22/2010 7:31:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven It depends. If you know more than he/she does about something, then it's your responsibility to pipe up. But it all boils down to what he/she allows and wants. Many of the men who answer an ad "want you to tell them what to do." ...or they say,"I want you to tie me up and take advantage of me." or they say,"I want you to tie me up and have your way with me." or, " I want you to tie me up and have a good time." Well, my idea of a good time is SHOPPING! They just don't understand when I am headed out the door with their credit cards! LOLOL! Dommes are not mind readers. You have to tell them what you like. Many Dommes will not have any sexual contact or do strap-on...get used to it. If they are into what you are into, and you are respectful to them, ...they MAY meet you. Don't make the mistake of telling a Domme in DETAIL what she is going to do to you.

sexyred1 -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/22/2010 7:40:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Yep, the OP is an attention slut and she is definitely getting her fix. I would imagine her in box is full of 'attention'. I figured that one out a while ago. And now she is simply being annoying.

LadyRian -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/22/2010 7:40:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven It depends. If you know more than he/she does about something, then it's your responsibility to pipe up. But it all boils down to what he/she allows and wants. Many of the men who answer an ad "want you to tell them what to do." ...or they say,"I want you to tie me up and take advantage of me." or they say,"I want you to tie me up and have your way with me." or, " I want you to tie me up and have a good time." See the bold faced, red type? This is a problem with so many. It's the head space they're coming from, where the Dominant is being used as a commodity to fuel the so called submissive's fantasies. It doesn't work that way, cupcake.

TotalDiscipline -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/22/2010 8:45:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyRian quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven It depends. If you know more than he/she does about something, then it's your responsibility to pipe up. But it all boils down to what he/she allows and wants. Many of the men who answer an ad "want you to tell them what to do." ...or they say,"I want you to tie me up and take advantage of me." or they say,"I want you to tie me up and have your way with me." or, " I want you to tie me up and have a good time." See the bold faced, red type? This is a problem with so many. It's the head space they're coming from, where the Dominant is being used as a commodity to fuel the so called submissive's fantasies. It doesn't work that way, cupcake. " the red parts work for many people...as for them it is a sexual fantasy..not a lifestyle.

leadership527 -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/22/2010 8:57:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: behavingbadly it's also the reaction of being new to the lifestyle, i want to know where i can be pushed to. You know... there's another couple I respect a great deal. Their dynamic, however, is very different than Carol's and mine. For them -- both of them -- they are more focused on dominance than submission. In other words, he likes to get all dominant and "force" her and she likes him being all dominant and forcing her. For THEM, control appears to be expressed in the form of "he can do whatever he wants to her." Carol and I, in contrast, are more focused on submission. So for us -- both of us -- the focus is on her being obedient rather than me being dominant. Ergo, "testing and pushing" for us would be contrary to the goal. For US, control is expressed in "Carol does what I want". That's a very different thing than saying "I do what I want". In the end, both marriages are happy. Both couples walk around with a lot of smiles. Both couples think of themselves as having an extreme dynamic in a way that is meaningful and satisfying to them. In short, I don't see anything wrong with you testing and pushing. With ME, you'd find that behavior didn't get very far. With this other master, you'd find him grooving on it. shrugs

NuevaVida -> RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? (10/22/2010 9:19:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 In short, I don't see anything wrong with you testing and pushing. With ME, you'd find that behavior didn't get very far. With this other master, you'd find him grooving on it. shrugs Exactly. There are so many generalizations and accusations in this thread my head is spinning. To be clear, I am not into testing my owner, as I would feel like testing is dishonest and game-playing. In the past, however, I have done it, without realizing it. I needed to know where the boundaries were, and feel them. I needed to feel that assurance that he would uphold them. These days, though, I take my owner at his word, and my feelings of security within his defined boundaries do not have to be reinforced by pushing them. That said, I do know of couples who, for their own reasons, function optimally - both knowing if he loosens the leash for too long, she'll grab hold of it and run with it. It's just her nature and personality. He finds it completely amusing and yanks her back in as she kicks and screams about it. Not all owners find the OP's behavior to be insulting, un-gratifying, and disrespectful. Some find it entertaining. Not all slaves are actually submissive, after all. The key is finding someone who best matches your own personality and style. As much as we all like to say there's no right or wrong way of doing things, I'm a bit of a "you're doing it wrong" theme in this thread.

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