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A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:08:21 AM

BostonPeter1971

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

To those that this apply too,

You got to love some of the subs/females here. They don't even reply to well thought out, sane replies (even though they claim that's what they want) yet still log on every day looking and searching. Perhaps if you didn't blow off some of the people you do without even so much as a 'thanks anyways' you'd have found someone by now. You know have a open mind and at least talk to some of the people who take the time.

I know.. you get so many messages you can't reply to them all. Well a cut and paste of 'Thanks anyways but don't think we are a good fit. Good luck' isn't that time consuming (Pressing CTRL-V not that hard) and at least offers the kindness of a reply to something they put effort into. If you are THAT busy you can't even do that then clearly your too busy for a relationship as a whole. As what kind of time do you have?

Yes some of them have not read your profile and do not deserve a reply. That is fair, however that's not what I am speaking of here.

As for those who demand we doms spend time writing some unique, original dribble.. Let me tell you a little secret girls... the reason many doms don't bother with long, original messages is because you don't reply to them most of the times anyways. So why should WE bother? Hate to break it to you.. but the vast majority of you that demand such are not that special, or unique in your profiles where we should waste OUR time. As we know most (not all in fairness) won't reply no matter how much effort we put into it.

As I said above perhaps you should re-consider some of these message you just blow off and change your tactics and approach to replying. As if your current system worked for you, odds are you still wouldn't be on here, reading this still searching. Something to ponder.

Take care.

Post #: 1

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:20:45 AM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

Have you considered that online might not be the best venue for you to meet women? You seem to be really bothered by what you perceive as being ignored or rejected without cause.

I would suggest offline...might be less stressful.

Take care.

(in reply to BostonPeter1971)

Post #: 2

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:23:02 AM

Hotch

Posts: 267
Joined: 5/13/2004
Status: offline

I've noticed the overall mood around here to be negative, apathetic and bitter all the way around. Too many agendas and too may disillusioned people. I'm just here for the beer.

< Message edited by Hotch -- 11/8/2010 10:24:37 AM >

(in reply to BostonPeter1971)

Post #: 3

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:23:54 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

To Those Who Can't Resist Bringing This Topic Up Time And Time Again,

If you had read one of the numerous threads that have been presented on the topic in the last couple of months, you would know exactly why many women, both Domme and sub alike, do not answer many of the messages that they receive here. Had you actually read what many women have said on the subject, you probably wouldn't have started the thread. Here is an excellent example of a discussion on the very same matter: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3428290/tm.htm

While many people think they write well crafted emails, the truth of the matter is that many do not. Also, many fail to realize that, just because one person sends another one an email, that does not make it the highest priority of the time the receiver sends on the internet. It is very much like your junk mail at home. Folks who make the complaint about people not answering their unwanted email on this site don't sit at home and send return mail to the long distance carrier that sends a letter hoping you'll switch companies or drop a note to thank the local grocery store sending coupons.

In addition, many women do not respond due to the fact that many of us here have proven history that a polite "thanks but no thanks" reply will often result in the original sender of that "nice" mail to resort to rude, abusive, offensive secondary contact. The first email can be pleasant enough, but once rejected, many men on this site will retaliate.

Thank you for your time and your concern on the matter. If you would like to read additional threads on the subject, the search feature will assist you in finding many of them.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BostonPeter1971)

Post #: 4

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:24:46 AM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3438721/tm.htm
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3456859/tm.htm
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3453075/tm.htm
Here ya go, OP. 3 more of the latest threads on this very subject.

< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 11/8/2010 10:26:12 AM >

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Post #: 5

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:24:59 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

**shakes fists in the air** How dare they act in such a manner!
Life here on CM is like an all you can eat buffet...you get to pick and choose what
looks appealing to you and skip over the rest. Now imagine you took a bite out of something
scrumptious, only to get food poisoning from it soon after. You can bitch to the cook, maybe even
sue them, but life will still go on and we will continue to bring our plates to the buffet, looking for a
good meal ...right? Why waste your time and ours by complaining about something we have no control over?
Unless of course it makes you feel better....and in that case....yay for you!

Probably not the best analogy...but darn it I'm hungry!

< Message edited by poise -- 11/8/2010 10:30:54 AM >

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to BostonPeter1971)

Post #: 6

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:31:59 AM

BostonPeter1971

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

I have tossed in the towel on this site a while back and have 0 expectations at this point. I come here just to poke some of the friends I still have here and if someone does happen to catch my eye, yes I msg them but again, 0 expectations. However that does not preclude me from voicing my opinion about the consistent rude and self defeating behavior I have observed. If I came off as bitter or upset not at all :) Annoyed at the lack of tact, etiquette? Yes. For those that demand some original, well thought out message but then don't have a courtesy to reply to such is a double standard and IMO those need to be called out on it.

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Post #: 7

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:34:19 AM

thatsub

Posts: 176
Joined: 5/3/2010
Status: offline

Just like some people don't read profiles and quickly write a message, others don't read your well though out emails; for if they did they would have known better than to not send a simple no-thank-you reply.

OP, just like you suggested that these people try another approach. I'd follow the first advice you got here - try offline events. There will be different kind of people there. I know, online is easier and it would have been great if it worked every time and for everyone, but it is not the case.

_____________________________

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. Plato

Confucius say: To make a long story short, don't tell it.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 8

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:35:17 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

bless your heart...

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to BostonPeter1971)

Post #: 9

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:39:04 AM

MistressRosalyn

Posts: 908
Joined: 8/16/2009
Status: offline

Dayum Hotch, too bad you are just here for the beer.
Beard...check!
Nice chest...check!
Wicked sense of humor...check!
Dom-Well, it was a nice fantasy while it lasted.

OP, it isn't easy to find someone compatible even on vanilla dating sites, it's even more difficult given that everyone in this lifestyle has different things that they are looking for. I looked at your profile, it is well-written, and you seem to be very intelligent and an interesting person to know. Dump the pic. I don't want to take too much space to say what it evokes in me, but perhaps you can get one another one? I liked the one of you in the car, and being a former SCAdian, I like the one of you in cloak. I wish the girl wasn't in your other picture, that's the best one of you. Make you look fun-loving and approachable.

Side note, does the girl know she is in your photo online at a BDSM site? If not, you will want to block her from the pic, or at least make her unidentifiable.

_____________________________

Member of Lance's Fag Hags.

I have 20 Fluffy Points and you don't!

I went to the Dark Side...now where are the cookies?

When did my life become a Jerry Springer/Jeremy Kyle episode?

(in reply to Hotch)

Post #: 10

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:39:24 AM

BostonPeter1971

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

Thanks for the concern but I don't need to find anyone right now. Off line or otherwise. My dating calendar is full :) You ppl are missing my point sadly...

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 11

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:45:43 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BostonPeter1971

Thanks for the concern but I don't need to find anyone right now. Off line or otherwise. My dating calendar is full :) You ppl are missing my point sadly...

This is how they exact revenge on the male population..bitter bitches that they are..Don't let it get to you.

Where's that beer....

< Message edited by Icarys -- 11/8/2010 10:46:22 AM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to BostonPeter1971)

Post #: 12

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:48:04 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

Hey everyone - Icarys is buying the beer!

OP - didn't miss the point at all. Just sending my blessings. I'm nice like that.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 13

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:48:32 AM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BostonPeter1971

I have tossed in the towel on this site a while back and have 0 expectations at this point.

That being the case, why go to the trouble to post such a rant? Obviously, something or someone got your goat if you feel it's your place to "call out" all these ill-mannered people.

(in reply to BostonPeter1971)

Post #: 14

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:49:11 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Icary's, I really hope that was tongue in cheek.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 15

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:49:50 AM

allnewtome

Posts: 73
Joined: 9/23/2010
Status: offline

You seem to think we are all here to meet someone. Not the case at all. Some of us just come for the cookies

I don't care if it is an original or a copy and paste job. I'm not looking so it makes absolutely no difference to me. I do make a point to answer all messages with a polite " I'm not what you're looking for, thanks anyway. Good luck in your search" but that's just me. Really I shouldn't even do that as it clearly states on my profile "I'm not looking". Maybe I should get on at them for even messaging me or start a thread ranting about it? Instead I just don't stress about it. It is just human nature after all. Maybe you should just chillax and get over it.

(in reply to BostonPeter1971)

Post #: 16

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:50:56 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

What is your point?

The point you want us to see or the point we have?

Look dude, you come in to teach and by now should be getting a lesson. You aren't listening. You also aren't being fully honest about not caring or looking because if you weren't bent about something, you wouldn't have come in sending a message to all the submissive's.

When you appoint yourself to tell people how they ought to be doing life, you take on a big chunk of authority that hasn't been accepted by anyone. Self appointed dominant's come in all the time and complain and THINK they know what it's all about and they haven't a clue. Before you decide to teach someone a lesson, you ought to investigate the topic and know it fairly well.

Maybe if you slow down long enough to prove you are the dominant you say you are, you might learn a thing or two from this thread. Keep the attitude you have and you won't learn a damn thing. You don't have to write unique dribble... even a couple of short sentences that might make her laugh or see something works. It just depends on how you view it, your attitude and what you are sending and to whom you are sending it. Pat answers from either side don't work, but so far you haven't seen the situation for what it really is and seemingly won't.

Most submissive's want a dominant like that... oh for sure!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to BostonPeter1971)

Post #: 17

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:52:20 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Good lord... does every thread have to become about Icary's?

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 18

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:58:13 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Good lord... does every thread have to become about Icary's?

Damn right it does - he's buying us all beer!

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 19

RE: A open letter to the subs/females here - 11/8/2010 10:58:54 AM

MistressRosalyn

Posts: 908
Joined: 8/16/2009
Status: offline

Yep, or about the beer.

OP, sorry I wasted my time giving you an insight into why women might not be drawn to your supercilious-looking photo. Now I know the problem runs much deeper.

_____________________________

Member of Lance's Fag Hags.

I have 20 Fluffy Points and you don't!

I went to the Dark Side...now where are the cookies?

When did my life become a Jerry Springer/Jeremy Kyle episode?

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 20

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