RapierFugue
Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006 From: London, England Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote:
ORIGINAL: RapierFugue . . . . and in b) Italy I'm not even in the top 50% of nuttiest drivers. I love driving abroad. I've heard about the motorists in Rome. It's supposed to be hilarious to see, so long as you're watching through a telescope. It's great fun , but it's not as crazy as it's painted most of the time because traffic so bad there that no-one (not even the Italians) can get up to any reasonable speeds. Personally I think they're crazier in Torino but for god's sake don't say that to a Roman, coz they're very proud of their driving. A few highlights of my continental driving "career": a) Doing 160 mph down the autostrada in a sports saloon ... and being flashed to move over by a Quattroporte, who came through doing something north of 180. Plod followed, on full disco, about 10 seconds later, trying manfully to catch him, but failing dismally. b) driving out of Torino, I tacked on behind 2 women wearing what I took to be burqas, in a brand new Fiat Cinquecento. They were driving like loons - the poor little Fiat was being leant over at crazy angles as it tried to get them round corners at the speed they'd decided was "safe". I was impressed. I was even more impressed when, reaching the outskirts and getting onto the dual-carriageway, they pulled over and let me past (Italian road manners are generally excellent, as long as you remember the entire place is one giant race track) and as I overtook them in a sports saloon at about 130 I looked across and saw ... 2 nuns c) Being chased (while in a car) by a very keen French police car for some 40 Km, somewhere around the centre of France. Every time I got away the traffic built up, and I won't take silly risks, so had to slow. Eventually, concerned I was getting too close to the end of the Péage (where they'd be able to radio on to have the barriers locked to prevent my escape) the traffic opened up and I really opened the taps. About 10 seconds later their POS Peugeot's engine expired in a cloud of steam and smoke d) having a rental Fiat booked back in with a certain well-known rental company as "excellent condition" when in fact I'd blown the engine to bits about 2 miles down the road (it had had a lean, hard week, poor thing) and had had (with 2 mates helping) to push the thing in. As it turned out the rental place manager (being Italian) didn't give a flying fuck. "You shouldda called me, I'd ave come and got you! Eets too ot to push bloody car!" Bless him. e) getting lost (pre sat nav days) in Northern France and accidentally crashing into a field, then pushing on through said field (too boggy to stop), out the other side, through a hedge, to find I'd just gone straight through the back garden of the hotel I was booked into. I knew it was the right hotel coz I'd wiped out their sign in the garden. I got bonus points for walking calmly to the rear desk and casually asking the boggled concierge if it was too late for lunch? (I got a bollocking ... followed by an excellent lunch). f) Complaining about the gear-change on a newly picked-up rental Fiat and watching in amazement as the manager, demonstrating it was fine, had the gearbox fall half out while changing gear, onto the road, taking the gearstick with it, out of his reach. Sodding loud noise, that. Him: "fucka me! Is'a fucked!" Cue upgrade. g) Breaking down late one afternoon in northern Italy, due to a fucked reg/rec unit on my then Kawasaki. Breakdown bloke comes out, explains "issa fucked mate", takes one look at my downcast face, and says "but I'm just off to a party - you wanna come? Issa be good!". So I go to a fantastic party in a little villa, then on to a nightclub his mate owns, then (pissed as a fart) crash at nightclub, in one of the backrooms (with some lovely Italian female company). The next morning he wakes me by bringing me coffee and a pastry, then drives me to the local Kwak spares place, fixes my bike, and sends me on my happy way. etc, etc ... I could go on for hours, and frequently do.
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