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RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 3:54:59 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ



I generally treat people with respect unless they give me a reason not to.
So, general respect does not have to be earned.

I don't think that any title here automatically demands respect.
There are posters whose opinions I personally respect a great deal.
That respect is specific; it has been earned.
Some of them have different labels (usually self-identified) attached to them:
Dom/Domme, submissive, slave, pet, Top, bottom, Master (which is used regardless of gender) and friend, among others.
I don't differentiate the level of respect based upon which side of the kneel they are on.

My usual criteria for posting is this:
Do I have something to offer?
It doesn't matter which forum it is placed on or what the admonishments are.
If I believe I have something to offer that will be useful, I will likely post.

Often there is a second requirement:
Is it kind?... but that is not always the case.

edit: grammar and clarity


Hi, I agree on the respect, I show it quickly actually. And respect is earned for sure. I was thinking in a more general sense. More in a recognition of the position maybe.

Edited: oops on the quote



< Message edited by anniezz338 -- 11/20/2010 3:56:55 PM >

(in reply to angelikaJ)
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RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 3:58:08 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

isn't there a certain respect to TRUE Masters/Doms in general in the community?


What is a TRUE master/dom?  Seriously.  I do not auto respect people because they self-label as something.  I also do not relate to people as a label, I relate to them as people. 


_____________________________

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RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 4:04:02 PM   
WolfyMontgomery


Posts: 234
Joined: 9/28/2010
Status: offline 		Fast reply

Well... I tend to post on the "Ask a Master" forum simply because I like to think that Master's thoughts and our dynamic are worth sharing in pertinent discussions that we can relate to - and since he's not inclined (*COUGHHACKCOUGHlazyCOUGH*) to create accounts on websites such as this - heck the only site he does have an account on is a Ghostbusters Fans website lol - and thus is not here to speak for himself, I speak for him and us.

As for acting submissive/respectful to other Doms - respect is earned, but I am always courteous, just like how I'd be to anyone that I was in a conversation with on the street. Dom or sub are titles we give ourselves, just like how I give the title of "Artist" to myself - but that does not require anyone to act any differently with me just because I am an Artist. Master is the one I am submissive and subservient to, everyone else is just another person out there - unless we happen to want to scene with them. Then during said scene I will be subservient to him as per my Master's whim - not the other Dom's. And then after the scene, he's just another Joe Shmoe, though he might become a very good friend - but he's not my Master after all.

There are a few people that I call Sir out of respect because they have proved to me that they are very worthy of it. I ask Master if I can address them as such, and usually he doesn't care, knowing that I have good judgement. But it also takes a good long time to build up the level of respect that it takes for me to want to call someone Sir that I am not in a relationship with. Sure, I might call a stranger on the street Sir or Mr or Miss, the difference being that they're a stranger - but once introductions are made and the atmosphere is relaxed and not formal, names are always used unless they happen to be an *actual* figure of authority - like my boss, or a police officer, or something. But any person can call themselves a Dom, and it does not automatically make them a figure of authority in my eyes - the only Doms that hold any authority over me are those that I or my Master choose to give or share that authority with.
Unless he happens to be a Dom and a cop - then I'll call him Sir =P


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Fear me and my Gleaming Metal Chompers of DOOM!
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(in reply to anniezz338)
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RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 4:13:33 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ


I don't think that any title here automatically demands respect.
There are posters whose opinions I personally respect a great deal.
That respect is specific; it has been earned.
Some of them have different labels (usually self-identified) attached to them:
Dom/Domme, submissive, slave, pet, Top, bottom, Master (which is used regardless of gender) and friend, among others.
I don't differentiate the level of respect based upon which side of the kneel they are on.




Hi, I agree on the respect, I show it quickly actually. And respect is earned for sure. I was thinking in a more general sense. More in a recognition of the position maybe.




Why does the position deserve special recognition in and of itself?

Anyone can call themselves a Master.

I could call myself a Mistress (or a Master, as Master is actually gender neutral).
That wouldn't make it so.
And do you feel obligated to respect the position of female dominants or is just it something that you feel towards men?


The only Master whose sovreignty I recognise is the one I belong to and He earned that, just as I earned the right to be worthy of being His.

There is a specialness in the title of Master.

I am submissive to Him.
Not to anyone else.

I belong to Him.
Not to anyone else.

In a public setting, I will take his lead pertaining to other dominants should that situation ever arise.

Otherwise, I conduct myself mindful that how I behave is in fact a reflection upon him, and do behave accordingly.
However, he also appreciates my insight, compassion and sense of humor and has no concerns I will embarrass him.



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RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 4:13:35 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Anniezz338,

In my opinion, the word "TRUE" is unfortunately a word that is used to define a measure for one but, may not measure to another, what "is true."

Submitting to a Master, shouldn't be like enlisting into a convent or a military boot-camp.  You need to know what is right/correct for you and, if you are rather new to the scene/lifestyle; your tastes, tolerances, goals and wants/wishes will change.  This is due to growth within yourself as well as with the partnered Dominant.

Submitting to a Master isn't becoming a mindless puppet.  In my own mind, the standard in considering a submissive individual, is how much harmony and common things we have.  Complimentry roles, is the chief goal for me.  Adding a lot of communications, trust and building on a relationship to which we (in a general sense) think on the save wave length and anticipate one another. 

When collared, the submission is exclusive.  I have rarely seen any Master worth their salt, to include myself, assume and or expect a submissive to serve me/us because of a title.  However, I think respect --which is often a fine line as to what defines submission, is often assumed rather than appreciated.  I enjoy being respectful and enjoy it returned.  I can understand the abuses of some who claim they are "Masters" when all they are, are domineering and one-way.

In the end of interacting with a Master, I am hopeful that I leave a submissive/slave/servant in a better way than I found them.  How a slave/submissive feels after the day, a scene, an event--matters.  I watch these slaves/submissives grow as adult and mature individuals, to which they walk on their own journey to their understanding of 'self' outside the tight boundary of expectation in the vanilla world and then inside the kink and/or alternative lifestyle.

A slave/submissive picks their "Dominant/Master."  This is also true with "Dominants/Masters"--as a slave/sub may pick us but, we too have the right to consent.  This also works in return.  In a sense, a power exchange as much as to define the role.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to anniezz338)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 4:23:40 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'm a TRUE Domme <not really>....I DEMAND respect! <not really>

I order you to agree with everything I say.

So now that I've told you I'm a true domme you should go back to your reply to my post and apologize.

See how that works?


(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 4:25:01 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		anniezz, I think general courtesy should be shown to everybody, regardless if the are submissive or dominant, I firmly believe we are just different sides of the coin and without each other both sides wouldn't be happy. General courtesy and respect for each other are a given, unless somebody does something to lose that respect.

I tend to see message boards as discussions, I might decide to ignore some replies due to various reasons, but why should I not value input from every side? You know one of my big regrets is that I have no switch side, because the best dominants I ever met were to a large degree switches, I think it is easier for them to relate to a submissive mindset, just like I would listen to a submissive when he or she tells me "if you do X, I feel ...." Dominants are not mind readers, so the input from the other side can be invaluable.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to anniezz338)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 4:33:55 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338
I was thinking in a more general sense. More in a recognition of the position maybe.




Some of the most obnoxious men I've ever met have identified as a master.
Why would I go out of my way to show them more respect just because they are dominant?
That just seemed like such a flawed filtering process on why one should be respectful to another.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 4:44:39 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
I generally treat people with respect unless they give me a reason not to.
So, general respect does not have to be earned.
The definition of respect:

quote:


1. a particular, detail, or point (usually prec. by in ): to differ in some respect.









2. relation or reference: inquiries with respect to a route. 3. esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: I have great respect for her judgment. 4. deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment: respect for a suspect's right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly. 5. the condition of being esteemed or honored: to be held in respect. 6. respects, a formal expression or gesture of greeting, esteem, or friendship: Give my respects to your parents. 7. favor or partiality.
 There's a difference between courtesy and respect. Someone has to earn my "esteem", they do not have to earn my courtesy. My courtesy does not extend into showing submission or submissive behavior towards strangers.



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RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 4:48:00 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
~fr~

If you give auto respect because of a title, you need to realize that your respect is devalued because you give it freely and without any requirements.  

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 4:48:34 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		lol...ok wonder...APOLOGIES SIR!

Respect for all as people, yes. Respect for all types by behavior, yes, including posts. Respect for position? Here's a REALLY REALLY bad analogy....President of the US. Nuff said on that...lol. Wannabe's? everywhere

It's all relative. Just wondering what the community put on aspects of the thought based on the obvious.....BDSM.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 4:50:40 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		That's Ma'am! Now on your knees and grovel!

Damn I'm good at this.

(in reply to anniezz338)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 4:53:19 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

That's Ma'am! Now on your knees and grovel!

Damn I'm good at this.


Don't let it go to your head  


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 4:53:22 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Okay, I may get wham-blasted here, but in certain circles and quite a few started online, people are taught that this or that is expected, required and as it should be. Many do get a start online and that is just a fact. When I was researching bdsm, this is where I went with it. Online chats, online sites were my only source of information on how others did things. I was learning outside what I knew as a dominant woman without the kinky aspects of bdsm, I hadn't experienced yet.

Coming from that place, I can understand that some would expect some sort of community based expectations. Some haven't been public or wish to go public for some time. Some have only their relationships to go on and then reach out after a break up or some event in their life.

How we view that can go a lot of ways, but I understand where some of this idea of how it should be comes from. I just hope it evolves.


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RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 4:54:10 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

lRespect for position? Here's a REALLY REALLY bad analogy....President of the US. Nuff said on that...lol.


Hey GW is not in office anymore, where's the problem?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to anniezz338)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 5:06:34 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		Sorry wonder...left yourself wide open for that...lol. A little switch maybe?? APOLOGIES MA'AM

LadyContanze...*whispers* my thoughts too. :)


(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 5:08:41 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

lRespect for position? Here's a REALLY REALLY bad analogy....President of the US. Nuff said on that...lol.


Hey GW is not in office anymore, where's the problem?


Okay, I've held back long enough! I can't do it! Just do me a favor and don't tell that bunch down in politics.

I didn't respect him in office or out... and I call him cousin. Distant, but damn... still cousin and my grandpa looked just like him except he was a bigger man and well respected by anyone that knew him. I'd still call him that rich kid punk, no matter where he was or who he was. (Most politics aside.) Of course he would most likely laugh at me.

Respect needs to be earned. Social graces are a different story, but even then... fuck it. lol


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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 5:11:55 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		It's ok Lockit,...we can't pic our relatives

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 5:12:30 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

Sorry wonder...left yourself wide open for that...lol. A little switch maybe?? APOLOGIES MA'AM

LadyContanze...*whispers* my thoughts too. :)




nahh...no interest in switching. Just think the idea of every person who calls himself a Dom/me should automatically be respected is ridiculous..given common courtesy, yes. Given respect, no.

So I guess subs and slaves get no respect at all from you? Can they earn that from you? Just a curious question I always wonder about when I hear that all Doms should get respect.

(in reply to anniezz338)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 11/20/2010 5:13:41 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

It's ok Lockit,...we can't pic our relatives


ROFL!


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to anniezz338)
Profile   Post #: 40
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