sunshinemiss
Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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Edited to add previous post... I haate when I write something real smart and it gets lost in the pile...
quote:
ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
quote:
ORIGINAL: anniezz338
Hi all. I've been reading and posting for a few months now and find a little confusion with some things. Like for instance, the thread here "Question of Masters Only!". I read through it and saw a little chaos about the subs posting. And I know we can post whereever and whenever we please. I also get that submission is to the submissives' Master/Dom.
What about submissive behavior? I see some very strong submissive statements and arguements made on these threads, to the point of extreme and bickering. Yes, some deserve it, without a doubt.
But, overall, isn't there a certain respect to TRUE Masters/Doms in general in the community? I mean, yes, I understand someone who isn't your Dom telling you to go do corner time would be out of line. And I may be off base saying this, but I would see my Dom expecting me to show some respect to other Doms, even if they get out of line, I can still just walk away. It didn't even cross my mind to respond to "Question for Masters Only!" post.
Hi Annie -
You said you are here fairly new. I think that once you see a little more of the scenery, you may change your tune. Maybe.
True Dominants - I'm a leave that alone.
However, there are people on these fora who are really quite worthy of my respect - at least as far as I can tell online. LadyPact and Jeff (of Jeff and Carol) come to mind. They are people who are consistently thoughtful, open to feedback, and who make no apologies for the lives they live. While I don't agree with their methods at times, the underpinnings of their methods are consistently realistic and work within their own dynamic. I respect that they live their lives the way they choose, and they don't harm others. They are people who have mastered their own lives and their minds and themselves and have come to be deeply respected by me.
There are also a lot of people who are the flip side of that - but let's not dirty your thread by talking about the unworthy.
Generally, I respect the person - the title is irrelevant. I respect the dark, and she's very much submissive in her relationship. If she says something to me, you can bet I listen and consider her words carefully.
Annie, we are just people. I respect people - the labels are nothing to me... to many people. In real life, people show who they are and how much respect they are due by their behavior. So, too, on line. You wouldn't be all respectful of some dude you saw on the street blowing snot into his hand and then smearing it on a doorknob. So, too online. The thread you reference was a question that would have been better asked of submissive women. Sometimes, with a question, I look at the actual question rather than the trolling for doms attitude.
If I am asking a medical question, I'll ask someone with medical training, a legal question, someone who knows the law. This stuff here, wiitwd, meh. "Doms" have no market on information about relationships, how to interact, or why some women are single.
I've been with partners who didn't want me to respond in an "Ask a Master" section. And I didn't although I thought it was a stupid decision. Somebody asked about suicide on the "Master" hotline. I don't know about you, but I'd rather have someone like wanders, who has years of experience in that field, answer that question instead of Joe Blow who has slapped a "dom" sign on his ass.
There is really little here that is role specific. I understand where you're getting at, but I don't agree. Sometimes the question is more about the question than the role-perspective.
Thanks for asking a good (potentially flamy) question in a non-perjorative way.
best,
sunshine
quote:
ORIGINAL: anniezz338
Respect for position? Here's a REALLY REALLY bad analogy....President of the US.
Actually annie - that is an excellent analogy. Whether good or bad, he has power OVER you.
When I was in Bolivia, a number of women I know were threatened by the police there. *I found out after I'd been so threatened... now I warn other gals.* This police officer shook me down, took all my money, and threatened me, patting his gun and yelling at me in Spanish. Now, to him, I was a rich American being disrespectful to his country (it was a cultural misunderstanding - an honest one). I had no idea until the very end why he was screaming at me and my friends, but I had absolute respect for his position. That man could kill us, dump our bodies off, and who would be the wiser? We were a couple of dropouts more or less from our societies. Nobody would know.
I'll tell you what, I removed my hat, looked at my toes and used every Spanish word I knew to apologize - not because I was sorry, but becuase I respected his position. He had power OVER me.
These yahoos have no power over me... Pixels on a screen. The only power they have is what I give them, and I'm stingy.
best,
sunshine
< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 11/21/2010 2:39:44 PM >
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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14
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RE: Masters only below, submissive behavior and being s... - 
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), that doesn't mean anyone thinks you asked a bad question or aren't very smart. It's enormously easy to be mislead when you're new to the BDSM world, because there are a lot of people with a strong motivation to keep you thinking that you're "supposed to be" a certain way. 
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