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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 2:11:15 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
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Status: offline 		It is a very easy trap to fall into. It takes work and actual effort to get out, and/or stay out. A fair amount of self denial when faced with the muffins also.....

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 2:55:38 PM   
barelynangel


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Status: offline 		Just because people judge this concept doesn't mean they don't also judge other things and concepts about other people. Sorry the well other type people do a b c is not a valid argument. If we were considering in shape people in the discussion this thread would have a different topic. We are talking about obese men.

Angel

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 3:07:56 PM   
allthatjaz


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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Just because people judge this concept doesn't mean they don't also judge other things and concepts about other people. Sorry the well other type people do a b c is not a valid argument. If we were considering in shape people in the discussion this thread would have a different topic. We are talking about obese men.

Angel


What?


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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 4:10:31 PM   
anniezz338


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

It is a very easy trap to fall into. It takes work and actual effort to get out, and/or stay out. A fair amount of self denial when faced with the muffins also.....


Right! Banana nut bread....hmmmm. Muffins and Icarys pies....just bad bad bad.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 4:38:31 PM   
JstAnotherSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

Ok then, so far I have been called a judgemental cunt, a whore, stupid, a fat bitch, and all the other crap I'm not going to bother looking back for. Here's judgemental for you.

Bones, your weight isn't posted. I got your number. If you spent the time you did giving your opinion on this thread and instead got on a treadmill, you might not be so bitter. You protest too much to be valid.

Aquaticsub, if you are at work being PAID to work, maybe you should work instead of playing some kind of popularity contest. If I was your manager, I would kick your ass to the curb so hard, your fat ass would bounce all the way across the street.

Icarys, your an ass but your hot.

OMG...was I judgemental?!? Where's my 45...I'm going to blow my brains out....I'm not worthy.

You guys have a great day :)


And here we see there are things way uglier than fatness......

:::::waddles my fat ass back to the peanut gallery::::::

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 5:32:07 PM   
Icarys


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quote:

:::::waddles my fat ass back to the peanut gallery::::::

Chocolate covered, no doubt!


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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 8:17:29 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
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Status: offline 		Ok, so I missed this thread (too bad - it looks like it was a doozy) but I'm going to post a few things that have undoubtedly already been said sixteen times. First of all, it's not the weight, it's the lack of health. To me, if you aren't working out in some way, shape or form 3-4 times a week and eating good food that has a distinct lack of pesticides and corn syrup, you're not healthy. Weight has a lot less to do with anything (though people should keep close to the standard healthy limits), and I don't tend to like rail thin guys. I want my Dom to be bigger than me (which is not very hard), but physically active and a healthy eater.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Atropos19
Those preferences should be tempered at least *somewhat* by a more complete appraisal of the person's character, rather than being used as an excuse to automatically reject (or, for that matter, make sweeping assumptions about) that person out of hand


Not going to get involved in the already finished giant debates on this thread, but I had to comment on this one. Preferences should absolutely not be tempered by a more complete appraisal of the person's character. You do want to be generally considerate about the fact that everyone has flaws, but physical attraction is vital to a relationship, and a lot of people are just not attracted to those who are overweight. It's not a decision process based on spite, it's just unattractive to those people. I find it fairly hypocritical when those who are overweight don't pursue other people who are overweight, though.

Speaking of, are you seeking out women who are your weight and age, Atropos? I seriously doubt it, and that's probably why you're casting moral judgments on the preferences of women.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 8:52:39 PM   
Elisabella


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quote:


Speaking of, are you seeking out women who are your weight and age, Atropos? I seriously doubt it, and that's probably why you're casting moral judgments on the preferences of women.


OMG THIS.

OK I admit I've gained a lot of weight in the past few years (which is why I call bullshit on the health issues, I have a torn up knee but I'm well aware that it's the food I eat that makes the difference, if I ate nothing but healthy food I'd probably be 10-15 lbs overweight) but when I was young and cute and all, there was this guy interested in me who was totally massive, like size 5XL massive, and too "lazy" (he said this proudly) to even shave his beard.

And he'd always go off about "superficiality" but had no reply when I pointed out that he was flirting with ME, not with the 400 lb girl on the bus who was too "lazy" to shave her legs or put on makeup...it's so inconsiderate to expect someone to lower their standards when you obviously aren't doing the same.

And being overweight is part of your personality unless you seriously have a medical issue that causes you to gain weight eating nothing but lean meat and salad...even if you get past the physical issues, with that guy I was also turned off by the way he reacted to food, the whole "more is better" approach and actually being proud of being a glutton and complaining about "small portions" that weren't actually small. It's not really something you can just ignore, if it bothers you.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 9:47:22 PM   
NuevaVida


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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
I find it fairly hypocritical when those who are overweight don't pursue other people who are overweight, though.



Um, wow.  So now overweight folks should only date other overweight folks? 

This thread keeps getting better, lol.


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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 9:51:56 PM   
jujubeeMB


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
I find it fairly hypocritical when those who are overweight don't pursue other people who are overweight, though.


Um, wow.  So now overweight folks should only date other overweight folks? 


I didn't say "only." I said I find it hypocritical when other overweight folks aren't pursued. You think it's okay for someone who's overweight to refuse to pursue other people who are overweight?

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 10:00:04 PM   
NuevaVida


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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
I find it fairly hypocritical when those who are overweight don't pursue other people who are overweight, though.


Um, wow.  So now overweight folks should only date other overweight folks? 


I didn't say "only." I said I find it hypocritical when other overweight folks aren't pursued. You think it's okay for someone who's overweight to refuse to pursue other people who are overweight?


I think I misunderstood your first post.  If I did, my apologies to you. At first read, your post seemed like overweight people should stick to overweight people.  Maybe that's not what you meant.

But I do think it's OK for anyone to not pursue anyone they are not attracted to. 


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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 10:10:44 PM   
jujubeeMB


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
I think I misunderstood your first post.  If I did, my apologies to you. At first read, your post seemed like overweight people should stick to overweight people.  Maybe that's not what you meant.

But I do think it's OK for anyone to not pursue anyone they are not attracted to. 


You did misunderstand, but it's totally cool. And I think it's okay for anyone to not pursue people they're not attracted to, but when you're specifically not pursuing that which you are yourself because you consider it unattractive in the opposite sex, I think you are a bit hypocritical. This is also something of a major sexist double standard, because there are a lot of overweight men who won't date overweight women, whereas overweight women are sort of expected to date overweight men. And it kind of pisses me off, even though I'm one of the skinny ones.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 10:12:28 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I think I misunderstood your first post.  If I did, my apologies to you. At first read, your post seemed like overweight people should stick to overweight people.  Maybe that's not what you meant.

But I do think it's OK for anyone to not pursue anyone they are not attracted to. 



I was going to post that I thought you misread her meaning :)

I also think what she was saying was that sure its ok to not pursue anyone you aren't attracted to, but don't turn around and complain that those you ARE pursuing are 'shallow' because they aren't attracted to you LOL.


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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 10:17:18 PM   
NuevaVida


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Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks for being cool about my misunderstanding.

I can understand where you're coming from, but my opinion is different.  I think skinny folks aren't hypocritical if they're only attracted to overweight folks.  Or if blondes are attracted to redheads.  Or if there's an attraction that reaches across different races.  I don't see a difference between any of the above and an overweight person not being attracted to other overweight people. 

People just have their own particular tastes.  They may not find their own body types attractive.  I don't find that hypocritical, but I can see where someone might.


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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 10:18:17 PM   
Atropos19


Posts: 56
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		I don't think I ever said *anything* about the type of people I do (or don't) pursue.  But for the sake of argument, let's say that I've sent messages to people my own age and weight, as well as some who are younger/prettier/what have you.  Are you saying that I *only* have the right to be offended if I feel that another overweight person has rejected me for superficial reasons?  I'm just not sure I get what you're trying to say here.

Essentially, a large number of people posting in this thread seem to be saying, "Whether or not a person is overweight is not necessarily grounds to make judgments about that person's character" (such as whether they are "qualified" to be a Dom, whatever that means).  And another group of people are saying, "Sure it is."  That's all well and good... opinions differ, after all.  But if it's okay to judge one group of people based on their appearance, how is it any less valid to judge another group of people based on their behavior?   If you can look at me and say, "You're fat, therefore you must be lazy, undisciplined, etc.," why can't I also say to you, "Well, I think you're shallow and judgmental for thinking that way"?

The funny thing about this is... I *am* lazy and undisciplined (though I'm trying to improve).  I admit that.  I'm not the one saying you shouldn't judge fat people b/c they might have a hormone condition, or what have you.  Are there fat men (or women) who are perfectly capable of being Dom/mmes?  I have no idea, but I certainly wouldn't classify myself as a dominant personality, so that's never been my argument either.

The one fairly strong statement I've made in this thread, and I stand by it, is that yes, I believe it's short-sighted to judge people *solely* based on their weight/physical appearance, whether you're judging their "dateworthiness," their suitability for a job, their capacity to be dominant or submissive, or their overall worth as a human being.  I'm surprised that so many people seem to have such a vehement reaction to that.

ETA: I *do* agree that it would be hypocritical to not be attracted to overweight people, while at the same time thinking ill of others for not being.  That's the very definition of hypocrisy... you can't be judgmental of a certain behavior in others, while at the same time practicing (much less condoning) the same behavior in yourself.  For what it's worth, I *have* been rejected by a few heavyset women, and in at least one case the girl *did* tell me it was b/c she wasn't attracted to me because of my weight.  I felt that was hypocritical of her at the time, and I still do.  So if I ever rejected someone on that basis, I think it would be totally fair to call me a hypocrite.


< Message edited by Atropos19 -- 12/2/2010 10:27:32 PM >

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 10:19:52 PM   
jujubeeMB


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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
I also think what she was saying was that sure its ok to not pursue anyone you aren't attracted to, but don't turn around and complain that those you ARE pursuing are 'shallow' because they aren't attracted to you LOL


You put it better than I did - thank you Winsome

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 10:22:28 PM   
WolfyMontgomery


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And then you have the people that say "Whether or not a person is overweight can be grounds for looking to determine if there are other factors that may lead to judgments of character, even though the weight in and of itself probably won't be a factor by itself."

...Or is that just me? >_>


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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 10:25:51 PM   
NuevaVida


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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I was going to post that I thought you misread her meaning :)


I sure did.  Wouldn't be the first time I did that, either!

quote:


I also think what she was saying was that sure its ok to not pursue anyone you aren't attracted to, but don't turn around and complain that those you ARE pursuing are 'shallow' because they aren't attracted to you LOL.



Ah, see I didn't get that.  That's certainly an interesting twist.  I was once much bigger than I am now.  I was not attracted to my own body type and I was certainly passed over by others who also were not attracted to my body type. I figured if I wasn't attracted to myself, why should others be?




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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 10:28:05 PM   
Twoshoes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
 
I don't tend to like rail thin guys. I want my Dom to be bigger than me (which is not very hard), but physically active and a healthy eater.


And I think it's okay for anyone to not pursue people they're not attracted to, but when you're specifically not pursuing that which you are yourself because you consider it unattractive in the opposite sex, I think you are a bit hypocritical. This is also something of a major sexist double standard, because there are a lot of overweight men who won't date overweight women, whereas overweight women are sort of expected to date overweight men. And it kind of pisses me off, even though I'm one of the skinny ones.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/2/2010 10:34:10 PM   
jujubeeMB


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Atropos19
I don't think I ever said *anything* about the type of people I do (or don't) pursue.  But for the sake of argument, let's say that I've sent messages to people my own age and weight, as well as some who are younger/prettier/what have you.


So people who are your own age and weight aren't prettier? That kind of confirms my suspicions about your own preferences. Which you are entitled to, as Nueva pointed out, but don't be calling women who don't think you're particularly "pretty" shallow.

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