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i fell asleep on my vanilla boyfriend while we were having sex, i realized there had to be more...he never noticed i fell asleep.
i ended up becoming an extremely sexually frustrated girl perusing porn and sort of discovered it and decided i had to learn more about it...and i love it all.

Also, when i was little and playing cops and robbers or cowboys and indians, i always wanted to be the one who got caught and tied up.

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My marriage was shit

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Fell asleep???? damn can that really happen? boring and repetitive is one thing but fqalling asleep with a cock pounding away at you...............I have to ponder that for abit.

CP

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Like popeye always said....

I `yam what I `yam...

I will let THE DEEP thinkers figure out your questions...

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

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i fell asleep on my vanilla boyfriend while we were having sex, i realized there had to be more...he never noticed i fell asleep.
i ended up becoming an extremely sexually frustrated girl perusing porn and sort of discovered it and decided i had to learn more about it...and i love it all.

Also, when i was little and playing cops and robbers or cowboys and indians, i always wanted to be the one who got caught and tied up.

YoungBlondSlave,

Fell asleep???? damn can that really happen? boring and repetitive is one thing but fqalling asleep with a cock pounding away at you...............I have to ponder that for abit.

CP

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Nothing gets me going more than a woman in leather.

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ROFL.. I didn't mean to imply that there were any SPECIAL meanings between Carol and I. To my knowledge, the only thing I think of as "special" between us is that we are deliriously happy. I have very little confidence that I understand what D/s means to most of the posters here too. I wouldn't even know how to begin the conversation in this venue and format (I make a stab at it below which I believe fails miserably). It's the kind of thing that can be discussed over the coffee table with a great deal of difficulty and becomes utterly impossible in more restricted and combative environments.

At the view from space level, consider the answer that various answers that said, "It gets me hot". I'm not about to argue that that's not dominance and submission -- clearly it is. But it's also incomprehensible to me because the thing I'm thinking of is not sexually linked. So then my answer of "I've always been this way" gets to be muddy... "what way" exactly? Oh, that "dominant" way? What way is that?

I think a lot of the problem I have expressing it in precise words in a short post in an adversarial forum such as a discussion board is that the thing I'm looking at when I personally say "dominance" is primal. The problem with primal things is that they exist below the level of intellectual thought and so aren't really subject to all the words that go along with intellect. My favorite example of this is trying to describe an orgasm. At least me, I just cannot because if I'm having an orgasm, then my brain isn't working at the level of words. It's busy saying "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" So when I'm being "dominant", my lizard brain isn't dealing in contracts, commitments, obligations, promises, consent, or any of that. That is all WAY too civilized by a few hundred million years. In addition, the thing I'm referring to is not limited to my interactions between myself and Carol. I experience this everywhere in my life. So whatever it is, it's not sexually linked. I don't want to have sex with every man and woman I meet.

So then I end up struggling to say exactly what does happen between us (much like trying to describe an orgasm). Carol obeys because I want her to obey because I am more dominant than her. She never consented to being mine. I took her the moment her life and mine came together (yes, from our very first meeting... not even a date). I had no more choice in that than she did. It happened because I was incapable of doing anything different and she was incapable of responding any other way. On one hand, it is an absolute level of control that is unfettered by the need for justification or agreement. On the other hand, it is an incredibly nuanced dialog between us that has very little to do with "command" and "obedience". Even the word "authority" isn't really right. What is right is "dominance". Now, having said all that, wasn't that a mouth full of self-referential gobble-de-gook? I think it was. Yet for all that, after a good year of chewing on exactly that question... "what is dominance [to me]?" that is the best I've got.

Do I personally think that this viewpoint is any more true, real, good or any other adjective than some other meaning for the word "dominance". No, not particularly. Well actually, I could argue that it was "less true" on a BDSM site than a lot of other views seeing as it isn't drawn from BDSM. Do I think that other people have more spins on this than I can imagine? Yes. Hence, my original statement... it's hard as hell to discuss these things. More and more I'm coming to the conclusion that we are all talking words to each other and very little meaning gets conveyed .... at least on a topic like this.

To make an analogy, this question is a lot like asking, "Why did you become a slave?" You'd get a ton of answers. But the problem is each and every respondent would be meaning something different by the word "slave" and so it's really hard to put those answers into any sort of context. I'd venture to guess that the reasons most people became a [sex] slave are vastly different than the reasons most people became a [service] slave. Probably, each set of reasons looks stupid to the other... or at least so alien as to be unrecognizable. Even worse, it probably wouldn't be hard to get 50 different views of what a [sex] slave is and what a [service] slave is *laughs*.

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~Jeff

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The core attraction is the fact that I prefer dominant men. If the dominant men have a "bit" of kink, that's fine but it isn't a necessity as I'm not very kinky.

When I see names, such as the one in your OP "analsub4you", I assume their main interest is kink.

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Oh yes. I'm in that club. But only in a normal-sex context. For me it was several things: built physiologically in a way that doesn't make orgasm during a cock pounding easy (my g-spot, as far as I can determine, seems to be located between my buttocks), a total lack of the psychological context that would have made that cock pounding meaningful and hot, and being very tired and with a boyfriend who liked to "pound away" at me 4-6 times a day (and with his nine inches that wasn't always easy to take) with never anything particularly sexy or interesting going on except that one act. Well, Ok, and cocksucking. I enjoyed that because at least it felt like I was serving him.

We were together a fairly long time for a sexually incompatible couple (I tend to stick things out much longer than I should)--12 years--and by year four or five, it had become deadeningly boring for me. We were intellectually compatible, both curious explorers, and that kept us together much longer, I suspect than we otherwise would. There was no bdsm in it, and I didn't yet know enough to encourage him--although wait a minute. Actually, I did once. I seduced him into beating me (rode his cock and read choice selections from The Story of O to him) and the next day when he saw my colorful skin, he felt extremely guilty and refused to ever do it again. So, the sex with him was essentially meaningless to me. I didn't fall asleep often, but I am guilty. If only he had slapped my face a bit to wake me up, sigh. I might have come from that alone.

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"A friend in need's a friend indeed, a friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

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Well, it was one of his first times having sex so there was no fireworks going off. But yes, very much true.

Since then, however, my sexual escapades have been much more exciting and i haven't fallen asleep on anyone since.

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I think I've always wanted to submit to a woman. I consider myself a gentleman and quite chivalrous. Even as a kid playing I would want to play a knight at a queen's or princesses beck and call. As I grew up, that service developed into the desire to please her more ways.

Interesting that I'm just thinking of this. I remember many times when we would play in the school room (before 3rd grade, I think) when I very much enjoyed being a pet, like a dog, and I was so content to lay my head in a girl's lap and have her pet me.

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I have always wanted to lord over people and be in control. I remember my mother always saying I was "bossy" and I pushed people around. When I got older I saw I could read into people and find the submissive one in a crowd. I worked on mental control over people and how to mold them. It is in my blood like the Teuton I am. I lead, direct, command, control.

On a micro scale, I want one who I can completely strip down to their core and rebuild. I have seen methods by which the military does this and political parties. Over the years I grew in this and flourished. Plus, I am perverted. I enjoy seeing others below me. People who clamor for me get my ear over Alpha types, who I would rather break than deal with. As a matter of fact, i have enjoyed breaking them as well. That is why I am in the lifestyle, control!

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

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I think I've always wanted to submit to a woman. I consider myself a gentleman and quite chivalrous. Even as a kid playing I would want to play a knight at a queen's or princesses beck and call. As I grew up, that service developed into the desire to please her more ways.

Interesting that I'm just thinking of this. I remember many times when we would play in the school room (before 3rd grade, I think) when I very much enjoyed being a pet, like a dog, and I was so content to lay my head in a girl's lap and have her pet me.

WBE

Tis always a good thing to realize the happiness of ones youth and to bring it forward into present day adult life. Good Fortune

CP

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I believe the pole positions of D/s are developing in a dynamic way during infancy and the earliest years of one's life. There is an identification with a parent/guardian or significant other in one's life and then we are wired so to speak to "attach" in order to find safety and connectedness with others. We are inherently social animals until our experiences compel us to avoid people, groups or perhaps this entire world. The l.atter is accomplished through suicide or dangerous risky behaviors like asphixiation When one maps out the saga of D/s, you will see the influences and "decisions" subconsciously made to be one or the other. While there are many factors governing that decision, safety is the first. Social isolation is a close second, which as a social position, we avoid at the risk feeling banished or non existent.

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Pain. It's what attracted me 20 years ago, and it's still what attracts me today.

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