CelticPrince
Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005 Status: offline
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quote:
As I keep going back to the subjects of the boards I keep going back to this one and asking myself what is the core reason why I am this way. I think I have always been this way sense I was a child, I just did not know it of course back then. With a back ground deep in the Catholic Church and 5 years in a monastery, I think I was born to serve. I have always wanted to help out my fellow man. But getting back to the subject at hand… I did not know really this kind of world if it was not for the net and found that I was not alone. And with some web sites I began to read, ask others on the net, read books and went to chat rooms that dealt with D/s. As time went on and I looked back in my life and saw there were sign posts along the way. Once, I had a girlfriend who had a bird. This one time after we made love I was covered in sweat just laying the bed feeling the warm summer’s breeze go over my body. She let the bird out and the small bird went walking over my body. I had my eyes close and felt the small feet walking over my body. What I did not know in his bird brain was, when he saw one of my nipples, he saw a small worm sticking his head out of a hole, so you can guess what happened. He tried to pull my nipple out of my body and I felt like killing the thing. But here’s the interesting thing, my nipple came out of my body like a new island coming out of the ocean. Ever sense that day that nipple was ever so sensitive. Pain, Pleasure, what the deal? That question would keep going over in my mind. So going back to the original question I still am trying to find my way through this all but after about 10 years or so I think I am more at peace with myself in this regard. I think this path is a life long learning process and is demonstrated by many of the post here. And not omitting to this and the way I am is just being honest with myself. This recently has come up because of my long distance relationship on/off thing. And she knew very early on about this. She just thought there must be something wrong with me and maybe I could get some help on this subject. It was only recently that she just said,” Well I guess I have to accept that about you”. I told her I could go on for the rest of my life and not be with a Domme but it still would not change a thing because at its core this is me and I am not alone, and I think that helps not only with me but with others too. That being said, it would be nice to meet a caring Domme one of these days. The Domme’s I have been with so far I will have to say have taught me much about myself and on it goes, reading, asking, and experience in real because that is the best. 81song, A very unique trigger indeed. Thanks for sharing that and fear not the domme that you seek will eventually find you. CP
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