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RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/30/2006 10:18:58 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		the bad news is snow white is really a shemale and what a surprise you are in for

the good news is there is always porn beer and the tv

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 301
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/31/2006 12:37:46 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

the good news is there is always porn beer and the tv


The bad news is that both the beer and the actresses are flat and the TV only tunes in Martha Stewart.

The good news is that Martha Stewart is secretly kinky.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 302
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/31/2006 6:48:31 AM   
VandalHeart


Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline 		The bad news is that's not cable, it's not antenna, and that's not Martha Stewart.  It's actually Earl's videotape that he made just for you, and when you thought you were hitting the power button, you were actually hitting play on a new tape...every time.  The worse news, is that you weren't wrong about the kinky part.

The good news is, Earl doesn't think he's Jesus anymore.

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 303
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/31/2006 8:47:28 AM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		The bad new's is he now thinks he is the Anti-Christ.

The good news is he finds a new love interest in your brother.

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to VandalHeart)
Profile   Post #: 304
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/31/2006 10:11:28 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is he finds a new love interest in your brother.


The bad news is so do you.


The good news is that the brother is poly.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 305
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/31/2006 10:15:59 AM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		the bad news is the reason you have a love interest in your brother is because he passed away and you are having a bout of necrophilia

the good news is the dead can't say no

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 306
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/31/2006 10:24:00 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

the good news is the dead can't say no


The bad news is that a toxic chemical has been accidently released into the atmosphere and it reanimates the dead and you now have to deal with flesh eating zombies.


The good news is that you were prepared for such an event.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 307
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/31/2006 10:32:02 AM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		the bad news is that hot girl you had a date with is one of the zombies and your bout of necrophilia has run its course

The good news is Anna Kournikova in a twist of fate has ended up in your hide away bunker and wants to repopulate the world with you

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 308
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/31/2006 4:44:56 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		The bad news is she is actually one of the last remaining reptile creatures from East of Eden and forces you to carry the child to term and give birth.

The good news is the house next door to you is slated to become the next sorority house.


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 309
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/31/2006 4:55:21 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		the bad news is it is filled with those dead zombie bastards

the good news is it was all a dream and Anna isn't really a reptile and all is well....except for the zombie

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 310
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/31/2006 10:33:07 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

the good news is it was all a dream and Anna isn't really a reptile and all is well....except for the zombie


The bad news is... you weren't asleep.


The good news is that you asked your doctor to see if dreaming while awake is normal.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 311
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/1/2006 3:09:55 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		The bad news is that your doctor isn't really a doctor, but just a guy that stayed at a Holiday Inn.

The good news is that you have just won free meals from a restaurant of your choice for life.


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 312
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/1/2006 3:14:38 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is that you have just won free meals from a restaurant of your choice for life.


The bad news is that the free meals for life are only for McDonald's drive-thrus.

The good news is that nutrition experts predict that you'll have a very short life.

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 313
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/1/2006 4:39:11 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		The bad news is you won't be able to have sex ever again because McDonald's lowers your sex drive.

The good news is that you have been admitted to the Priesthood.

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 314
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/1/2006 6:54:10 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		The bad news is you have to start out as an alter boy.

The good news is your proctologist says there is nothing wrong with your prostate.


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 315
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/1/2006 9:54:27 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is your proctologist says there is nothing wrong with your prostate.


The bad news is he lost his flashlight...


The good news is that he knows where it is.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 316
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/1/2006 10:05:26 AM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		the bad news it is requires large forcepts up your rectum and he used up all his lube on the last patient.

The good news is you have Anna at home to make your day better once you get home

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 317
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/1/2006 10:11:44 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is you have Anna at home to make your day better once you get home


The bad news is that when you get home you find her making mad passionate love to a garden gnome.


The good news is that the gnome seems to be enjoying himself.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 318
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/1/2006 10:17:54 AM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		the bad news is she is so into it with the gnomb that she doesn't even notice you

the good news is the gnomb is just shaped that way and is a toy you got her last week and her intention is the be ready for you

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 319
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/1/2006 10:27:29 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

the good news is the gnomb is just shaped that way and is a toy you got her last week and her intention is the be ready for you


The bad news is that she now prefers the gnome over you.


The good news is that you have a hot Swedish chick on the side.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 320
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