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RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/28/2006 9:25:28 AM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		That bad news is the only area smoking is permitted is the minefield

The good news is your bunk buddy has come up with a plan to springboard off of the mines and over the fence

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 261
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/28/2006 2:06:00 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		The bad news is he tried it himself and landed on one.

The good news is his sacrifice helped clear a path for you.


_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 262
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/28/2006 3:29:44 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline
the bad news is there's machine guns too

the good news is there is an ammo shortage

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 263
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/28/2006 10:20:30 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		The bad news is that the ammo shortage is only for your weapon.

The good news is that you eventually arrive at your destination.

< Message edited by Daddysredhead -- 5/28/2006 10:22:51 PM >

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Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 264
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/29/2006 12:07:45 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is that you eventually arrive at your destination.

The bad news is that you don't arrive in one piece.

The good news is that you didn't need that appendage anyway.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 265
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/29/2006 3:02:37 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		The bad news is your wife liked the use of it.

The good news is you don’t have to worry about child support.

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 266
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/29/2006 8:29:12 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is you don’t have to worry about child support.


The bad news is that you won't have sex again... ever.


The good news is that you convert your life and become a monk in a secluded monastary

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 267
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/30/2006 3:32:53 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		The bad news is you get tetnis from the thorny vest you wear.

The good news is the monastery is actually a front for a secret government organisation and there is a hospital ward in the hidden basement of the compound.

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 268
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/30/2006 5:00:28 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is the monastery is actually a front for a secret government organisation and there is a hospital ward in the hidden basement of the compound.

The bad news is that they are conducting disgusting human experiments in the basement.

The good news is that they have grafted you with a manatee.

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 269
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/30/2006 5:29:09 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is that they have grafted you with a manatee.


The bad news is that your wife leaves you for a three toed sloth.

The good news is that she gets eaten by a hostile badger

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 270
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/30/2006 7:05:27 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline
The bad news is she buried all your money and never told anyone where to find it.

The good news is that the government retires you from your job as a glorified lab rat.

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 271
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/30/2006 7:14:09 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		The bad news is that they haven't figured out how to rid you of that malodorous scent you now carry

The good news is that insects are no longer a problem

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 272
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/30/2006 7:35:28 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		The bad news is wild rats are overly fond of you.

The good news is you at least have friends agian.

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 273
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/30/2006 8:19:08 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is you at least have friends agian.


The bad news is they shit on your kitchen table and eat through boxes of your favorite snacks.


The good news is that you don't notice because your roommates do the very same thing.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 274
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/30/2006 8:24:05 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		The bad news is your new rat friends ate your room mates.  So now you can't make rent and on top of that the cops have been snooping around about your missing roomies and that strange smell the neighbors have reported.

The good news is your rat friends are really smart and cuddle up with you at night to keep you warm since you couldn't afford the heating bill either.

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 275
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/30/2006 8:37:10 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is your rat friends are really smart and cuddle up with you at night to keep you warm since you couldn't afford the heating bill either.


The bad news is they think your penis is a chew toy.


The good news is that you can't feel them gnawing your willie because of the governmental experiments.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 276
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/30/2006 8:41:34 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline
the bad news is that as they ingest it the chemicals used in the government experiments they grow into human sized giant mall ninja rats from hell

the good news is you have a mall ninja rat army large enough to take over a third world country.

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 277
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/30/2006 8:45:30 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

the good news is you have a small ninja rat army large enough to take over a third world country.


The bad news is that the rats instead want to invade Cleveland, Ohio


The good news is that the ninja rats cannot drive.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 278
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/30/2006 8:48:26 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		the bad news is they are still craping all over the place as rats do but now it is giant rat turds to match their new size

the good news is you are making a fortune off fertalizer and will soon have enough money to get the rats driving lessons

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 279
RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/30/2006 8:53:23 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

the good news is you are making a fortune off fertalizer and will soon have enough money to get the rats driving lessons


The bad news is that the rats will need a car and you can't afford that yet.


The good news is that you have found a cheap "ratmobile"

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 280
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