RE: Bdsm is wrong (Full Version)

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mysouldesire -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/11/2011 12:52:12 PM)

quote:

Here's an analogy: when you run across a mountain lion in the woods, one of the best ways to get him to leave you alone is to act agressive. If you do that, he's a lot less likely to bother with you. Not that he has any doubt he could pick you apart like a grasshopper, he just doesn't need the hassle when there are deer and elk around who are more compliant and predictable.

If the lion was desperate or maybe not sure he could take down the graceful deer, he might have a try at you.


Ever lived in Africa where lions breed, protect their young and hunt flesh/meat (which includes humans)?
If so, you would NOT have used the analogy.




mysouldesire -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/11/2011 12:59:42 PM)

quote:

the nice guys very often have a great deal of anger inside of them.


I read a book once by Steve Arterburn that addressed this issue.

I'd say so far Steve-o, this is the only thing I might agree with you on.

Am not going to read the pages of response, but for some reason, based on/in your past you believe what you believe.
So you might, in your young age, want to grow up and be tolerant of others and their choices. It will help you alot when you finally reach my age.




HisEvelyn -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/11/2011 11:05:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

steve,

I'm sure that as a graduate in Psychology, especially one that is smart enough to pursue a Phd (did you mention the topic of your Thesis by the way?) you'd be aware that walking into a room full of kinksters and announcing that what they do is wrong is going to be met with a degree of scepticism.

Your hours of experience as a therapist will, I've no doubt, have taught you that interests and passions of more or less any kind can span an entire spectrum from "positively healthy to downright unhealthy". There are stamp collectors out there that need your help too, you know.

But I'm not here to bandy words with you about the healthiness or otherwise of the kinky lifestyle, I'm here to save you.

I want to save you from your addiction to trolling.

The indications of your hopeless addiction to trolling are all over this thread, but this particular post of yours really did move me :-



quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

Take a look at almost every single reply here, all very defensive, which is what I was told would happen.

Whether you like it or not, you are no different to any other addict who's behaviour is pointed out to them.

If you are open minded enough, have a read about defensive behaviour when it comes to addictions, it's actually very interesting.

Here's a snippet to get you started.

Toodle pip.

People get defensive for a number of reasons. It could be that they are uncomfortable with the topic, their ego may be bruised, or they could just be used to abusive people taking advantage of them etc. Mostly though for what ever reason is at the base of it, they feel that they are under attack. For instance often individuals will get defensive even with criticism that is helpful, just because their ego is so fragile they can't except it, so they see it as an attack on the ego and then become defensive.


This is classic "acute trollism", and I want to reach out to you and give you a hug.

Trolls are usually suffering from appallingly low self esteem, and their willingness to pursue an absurd argument (often half-assed and unsubstantiated) is, in many senses, a cry for help.

Well, don't worry poppet! Daddy's here to help you!

Read more, look at some of these threads, look at the emphasis that is placed on nurturing, support, responsibility and ethics.

Look at the empassioned debates we have here about mental health, "where the boundaries are" and personal freedom.

Use these dialogues to help yourself understand the disconnect between your argument and reality. Then, grasshopper, confront your addition to trolling.


Whether you like it or not, you are no different to any other addict who's behaviour is pointed out to them.

If you are open minded enough, have a read about defensive behaviour when it comes to addictions, it's actually very interesting.

[Ed for the typo I noticed]


Can I be a member of your fan club, crazyml? You are always so ridiculously awesome.




wandersalone -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 12:13:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

I have a degree in psychology, i'm pretty sure I mentioned that, currently studying for a phd and numerous hours of experience with clients, although I find the best therapists strangely enough are the ones with little education and the ability to connect to their emotions.


Studying psychology and even working as a psychologist doesn't necessarily prevent you from being a total whack job you know.  Turn your numerous hours of experience into years of experience and then you might realise the folly of your words.

quote:

ORIGINAL: InvisibleBlack

No. No. He's right. BDSM is wrong. It's very wrong and you've been bad. Very very bad. Obviously you need to be punished! [;)]
 
(Also, I , too, would like a Cadbury egg, but that's off-topic.)

coughs.... errrrrr ummm I have been very very bad so ummm well you know .... I might need some ..... discipline ......
[:)]




Awareness -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 12:18:27 AM)

  Christ.  If there's one constant in the universe, it's people's absolute obsession with feeding the trolls.  Give it a fucking rest.




wandersalone -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 12:24:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

Christ.  If there's one constant in the universe, it's people's absolute obsession with feeding the trolls.  Give it a fucking rest.

Who hurt you awareness?  Who has made you become such a thoroughly unlikeable fellow? I won't offer you a hug but maybe Crazyml will.




AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 12:32:26 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

  Christ.  If there's one constant in the universe, it's people's absolute obsession with feeding the trolls.  Give it a fucking rest.


And yet by posting you give the thread a bump to the top, making it more likely to be read and commented on! [:D]




coookie -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 12:42:03 AM)

"Our findings support the idea that BDSM is simply a sexual interest or subculture attractive to a minority, and for most participants not a pathological symptom of past abuse or difficulty with “normal” sex. Richters J, de Visser RO, Rissel CE, Grulich AE, and Smith AMA. Demographic and psychosocial features of participants in bondage and discipline, “sadomasochism” or dominance and submission (BDSM): Data from a national survey." J Sex Med 2008;5:1660–1668
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2008.00795.x/abstract

"The result is a pervasive environment of
denigration and discrimination, despite an increasing body of evidence suggesting
BDSM falls within “normal” and healthy parameters of behaviour" Daryl Champion 2010
http://www.backlash-uk.org.uk/pdf/champion.pdf

I could continue but steve you are making all of us psych students look bad with the drivel you spout as fact. If you are a Grad student, you have access to data banks. Use them.




crazyml -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 12:46:15 AM)

aww c'mon cookie, what are you doing spoiling this marvellous troll-fest with your research-based common sense?

for shame!




coookie -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 12:48:09 AM)

I know .. I am a funsucker!! But ... it doesnt sound so bad does it?




crazyml -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 12:53:07 AM)

Well, not if you put it that way ;-)




GreedyTop -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 1:07:18 AM)

~FR~

"funsucker"

I am liking this word!!




AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 1:08:36 AM)

What the Monkey said! [:D]




rosanegra -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 1:10:22 AM)

I didn't have time to read the full 20 pages on this topic but I just have to say the original article was very poorly written and truly and deeply demeaning to women. Seriously, this hardly merits that much attention.




GreedyTop -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 1:11:21 AM)

rosa.. you should read at least every other page.. 




kalikshama -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 2:25:30 AM)

Steve,

This is why you are not taken seriously. It's hard to believe you're an actual Phd candidate.

Thanks coookie.

KK

quote:

ORIGINAL: coookie

"Our findings support the idea that BDSM is simply a sexual interest or subculture attractive to a minority, and for most participants not a pathological symptom of past abuse or difficulty with “normal” sex. Richters J, de Visser RO, Rissel CE, Grulich AE, and Smith AMA. Demographic and psychosocial features of participants in bondage and discipline, “sadomasochism” or dominance and submission (BDSM): Data from a national survey." J Sex Med 2008;5:1660–1668
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2008.00795.x/abstract

"The result is a pervasive environment of
denigration and discrimination, despite an increasing body of evidence suggesting
BDSM falls within “normal” and healthy parameters of behaviour" Daryl Champion 2010
http://www.backlash-uk.org.uk/pdf/champion.pdf

I could continue but steve you are making all of us psych students look bad with the drivel you spout as fact. If you are a Grad student, you have access to data banks. Use them.





WarmMarble -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 2:32:43 PM)

Steve2011 - I think a lot of the replies you are getting here would become less hostile if you were to tell us the subject of your Ph.D, and where you are studying. This would give you a bit of credibility, aswell as being a polite gesture towards the many people who have asked for this information.

Apart from that, I hope that you can conclude this discussion in a less confrontational manner, stick around the boards, participate and read. Somebody in your line of work could learn a lot from a place like this, especially if you have never met any BDSM people in the real world.




Phoenixpower -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 2:38:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone


quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

I have a degree in psychology, i'm pretty sure I mentioned that, currently studying for a phd and numerous hours of experience with clients, although I find the best therapists strangely enough are the ones with little education and the ability to connect to their emotions.


Studying psychology and even working as a psychologist doesn't necessarily prevent you from being a total whack job you know.  Turn your numerous hours of experience into years of experience and then you might realise the folly of your words.

quote:

ORIGINAL: InvisibleBlack

No. No. He's right. BDSM is wrong. It's very wrong and you've been bad. Very very bad. Obviously you need to be punished! [;)]
 
(Also, I , too, would like a Cadbury egg, but that's off-topic.)

coughs.... errrrrr ummm I have been very very bad so ummm well you know .... I might need some ..... discipline ......
[:)]



that was about time that you show up here [>:][>:][>:]




CeriseNin -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 3:30:41 PM)

*fast reply*

Gracious me. Seems Steve is in need of some hard, hammering strap-on sex while he grips the bedpost and screams.




Awareness -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/12/2011 8:39:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

Christ.  If there's one constant in the universe, it's people's absolute obsession with feeding the trolls.  Give it a fucking rest.

Who hurt you awareness?  Who has made you become such a thoroughly unlikeable fellow? I won't offer you a hug but maybe Crazyml will.

I'm eminently likeable - there's just a high barrier to entry.  Namely, having enough smarts to appreciate a dry, acerbic wit.  There are definitely people here who get me - you not being one of them I'll just put down as one of the tragedies of an uncaring universe.




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