RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (Full Version)

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LadyConstanze -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/14/2010 6:54:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

Sure. And guess what? I'm friends with a couple local dommes around town.

But if they start bitching about weak approaches, I call them on their shit too. Fucking deal with it.




Thank fuck I don't have to deal with you! Why don't you go and hang with the local dommes if you're friends with them because as far as I can see most people here find you as desirable as a bout of screaming diarrhea and no toilet in sight, frankly I understand why.

You complain about being a guy, I told you, have a sex change then, problem sorted!



VideoAdminTheta -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/14/2010 6:57:05 PM)

Good evening. How is everyone tonight?

After the last post I thought I better rephrase that! [:D]

Let's make a point without the messy details that promote gold bordered letters.

Thank you



LadyConstanze -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/14/2010 7:14:54 PM)

Sorry bout that, but I thought I had enough "effing and blinding" from him and since he brought the brown stuff up, I kinda stayed with the theme...

I go and shower now...



DMFParadox -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/14/2010 10:37:05 PM)

Yeah, that apology stayed with the theme too.

Look, my point is that focusing on the negative - wow, have you proven this in this thread, but to continue - focusing on the negative elements of an interaction tend to reinforce them and turn what could have been a good chat into a bad one. I am dead tired of seeing women constantly fall into this trap over and over, then blame it on their sparring partner. It's not them; it's you.

Yes. Some guys have weak game. They write crappy letters. I'm not saying that you should reward this. What I'm saying is that you should stop agonizing over it, and start talking about the awesome ones more often. The great letters. Use the white list on your whitelist, and do the same thing spam filters do - discard the negative aspects without a trace. If the situation doesn't pass the white list, let it go. Most people, men and women, are pretty decent in the right circumstances, and as a D it's your job to manage those, so do that better.

Edit: good one on the call to (paraphrased) "everybody hates what you have to say." If I didn't get so many CMails telling me "Thank you for finally saying that!" I'd agree, but I do, so I don't. Frankly, it's a dirty job to call bullshit, but it has its rewards.



Lockit -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/14/2010 10:55:11 PM)

The only one agonizing over anything is you. Your not so subtle attempts to assume you know what we think and feel is fruitless. No one woman speaks for all of us and I dare say, that you do not speak for any of us. You dare presume to tell us what we feel, think and how we conduct ourselves in email or anywhere else is an assumption that you know far more about our conducting our lives and words, than you could possibly know.

Because comments have been made on this or that doesn't mean that we agonize or feel anything close to that emotion and you project your own interpretation upon us as if it were a fact.

You yourself have proven that you have your own difficulties and inconsistencies and you tell us how to conduct ourselves and how we might correct ourselves? lol You are surely off your mark. Your persistence in trying to convince us is further proof that you think more highly of yourself and your own take upon all things, than you should. You will have no effect but that of a slight nuance.

By what right do you take it upon yourself to correct us? You have no right and no bearing on what goes on even if we respected half of what you say. Your agenda may not be totally clear, but surely you do not try to assist us and actually help us, which we do not need, but come to constantly push yourself upon us for your own sorrowful satisfaction of some sort. Enjoy your game, it will not last long.



Carouselambra -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/14/2010 10:56:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Okay.  Drop the word "Me".  Then it's just "Tell Me why you want to serve".

That's a very valid question that I ask of submissive women - what is the driver to serve?  Is it pleasing another, giving over control, being the center of attention is a session, or simply a desire to get spanked?

Why do you want to serve Me?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/14/2010 10:57:19 PM)

Talk about the good letters...hmmm....

Isn't this the thread started by a complaining guy? Then hijacked by another complaining guy? That is a headdesk in itself!



DMFParadox -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/15/2010 12:22:01 AM)

Lockit, I don't know what you said but I do remember why I blocked you. I suggest you do the same, but since you haven't so far I'm guessing you're a glutton for this right here. I hope you're writing something positive or at least thoughtful, but I'm not counting on it enough to test the theory.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/15/2010 1:20:36 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

Yeah, that apology stayed with the theme too.

That would be because she wasn't apologising to *you*.

It's worth noting that you're spouting this 'be unfailingly positive about your inbox if you want to get laid!' mantra at two women in happy relationships (and FYI I'm mostly gay, if you're about to imply that this is only the result of female privilege and men being desperate). So you're saying we should be taking advice about how to respond to men contacting us outside our happy relationships from a man with a 0% response rate, except when he's deliberately playing the system. Not exactly convincing.

Also, I genuinely think you miss the levels of humour in posts women make to each other about this topic. It's black humour, sure, but a lot of the time we bitch about this stuff because it's *funny* - for dramatic effect. Much like your 'oh woe is me! The ladies are saying we should all never approach anyone ever!' outburst before (except funny).

You're assuming we're a lot more upset than we actually are, for the most part - often I'll read a post and laugh, and then you'll respond to it with lots of drama about how negative the person is-that makes me think you're missing the point of the post. I don't know-maybe it's a shared experience thing that's making us all laugh.



DMFParadox -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/15/2010 2:02:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

Yeah, that apology stayed with the theme too.

That would be because she wasn't apologising to *you*.

No, it was still a crappy apology, even with that taken out of the equation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
It's worth noting that you're spouting this 'be unfailingly positive about your inbox if you want to get laid!' mantra at two women in happy relationships (and FYI I'm mostly gay, if you're about to imply that this is only the result of female privilege and men being desperate). So you're saying we should be taking advice about how to respond to men contacting us outside our happy relationships from a man with a 0% response rate, except when he's deliberately playing the system. Not exactly convincing.


0% response rate for an opinion check on what kind of emails women respond to. You're not reading me, just kvetching.


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
Also, I genuinely think you miss the levels of humour in posts women make to each other about this topic. It's black humour, sure, but a lot of the time we bitch about this stuff because it's *funny* - for dramatic effect. Much like your 'oh woe is me! The ladies are saying we should all never approach anyone ever!' outburst before (except funny).


I think you'd miss the humor if I told you to go get me a damned sandwich. Is that the same thing?

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
You're assuming we're a lot more upset than we actually are, for the most part


No, I'm assuming that the complaints are annoying and self-defeating. Also, offensive in their implied assumptions. Also, that there's a better way to deal with such issues. You can be copacetic and still wrong.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
- often I'll read a post and laugh, and then you'll respond to it with lots of drama about how negative the person is-that makes me think you're missing the point of the post. I don't know-maybe it's a shared experience thing that's making us all laugh.


...Get me a goddamned sandwich. Oh wait, was that offensive? So sorry.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/15/2010 2:21:58 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

No, it was still a crappy apology, even with that taken out of the equation.

It wasn't really an apology at all-is this you missing the humour again?

quote:


0% response rate for an opinion check on what kind of emails women respond to. You're not reading me, just kvetching.

Apologies, in that case-I misunderstood you. But still, the point stands-your dismissal of jujubee's claims kind of implies that your response rates aren't great (I know, I know, apart from when you're being deliberately pissy and manipulative in which case you say they're excellent...).

quote:


I think you'd miss the humor if I told you to go get me a damned sandwich.

Well then you don't know me very well.

quote:


Is that the same thing?

No, it isn't. Not really. But you've proven my point-you've totally misunderstood my sense of humour. You've clearly no idea what I do and don't find funny. So thanks for such a clear demonstration of that.

quote:


No, I'm assuming that the complaints are annoying and self-defeating.

They aren't self-defeating if their intention is to make other women laugh, because they *do*. You know why women get so pissed off with you? You're interrupting a female bonding ritual. This isn't really about the guys, it's about the women talking through their shared experiences. So the comments might annoy you but you really, really aren't the target audience (unless there's something you're not telling us, but I doubt that).

Seriously, we respond positively to the good men. We're not mired in negativity, it's just that negativity is funnier. Why do you think stand-ups talk about death and divorce all the time? If they talked about all the dates that went really well and this new girl that they met that they really like, it wouldn't be as funny.

quote:


...Get me a goddamned sandwich. Oh wait, was that offensive? So sorry.

...what was that about crappy apologies?

If you genuinely think I'd be offended or upset by that then you're kind of a douche for saying it, even if it's marginally funny.



DMFParadox -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/15/2010 2:39:38 AM)

Ok, I'll buy that raping Elmer Fudd can be funny, done right.

Just please understand that there is an overwhelming amount of negativity regarding men approaching women, yet we're still supposed to do it. It eats at you after the nth time you see a woman complain on the subject, if your actions are the subject. It takes two to communicate, and dammit, y'all just don't seem to hold your end of the bag a lot of the time. Who else is calling you out on that? It's like a damned taboo.

As for manipulation, what do you think a joke is? I see you praising one and condemning the other, and it just looks like superficiality to me.

Edit: about the conversations, I'm not talking about merely responding. I'm talking about being able to add to one, to throw out hooks calibrated to the person you're with. To know the things you want and focus on those, instead of testing for the things you don't want, turning a conversation into a minefield and defeating both the conversation and the point of the tests. I'm talking about watching women shut down guy after guy, then complain that nobody knows how to talk to them... learn how to talk to guys. Carry your weight. And don't double a blacklist on top of area denial, because it's foolish. Those are my original points.

I can't laugh because it's just too pervasive in our culture, these opinions, and they're rabbit trails leading to pain and heartbreak for all concerned. You may think of these complaints as jokes, but too many people act on their premise to get much of a laugh from me.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/15/2010 2:50:43 AM)

If you consider the difference between deliberately making someone laugh and deliberately insulting them in order to get a reaction (which you've previously said was your strategy) to be superficial then I don't even know why I'm bothering to talk to you. I temporarily forgot quite how creepy I find your posts, I guess, but now I've been reminded full-force.

And I get that I'm supposed to be the rainbow fucking dominant and be super-fucking-nice all the time, but you know what? It really doesn't matter to me if the jokes we make get you down. You click on a thread like this and you know exactly where it's going to go-why not take your *own advice* for a change and disregard the negative stuff instead of continually bitching about it? Whitelisting applies to threads just as much as it does to inboxes. In your world we're not entitled to be negative about the PMs we get but you're fully entitled to be as negative as you like about our posts?

Irony fail, you haz one.



DMFParadox -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/15/2010 3:14:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I temporarily forgot quite how creepy I find your posts, I guess, but now I've been reminded full-force.


If you think I'm that creepy, block me. It would be a service to both of us.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
And I get that I'm supposed to be the rainbow fucking dominant and be super-fucking-nice all the time, but you know what? It really doesn't matter to me if the jokes we make get you down.


I don't care if you're nice all the time; I'm not either. Just don't be so damned wrong when you're trying to be cutting. I can respect thoughtful sharpness; but not thoughtless nonsense about men, of which I am one. I don't tolerate thoughtless commentary on either gender.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
You click on a thread like this and you know exactly where it's going to go-why not take your *own advice* for a change and disregard the negative stuff instead of continually bitching about it? Whitelisting applies to threads just as much as it does to inboxes. In your world we're not entitled to be negative about the PMs we get but you're fully entitled to be as negative as you like about our posts?


Not really, no, I tend to click on the little box when something interests me. If I'm forum diving I stick to general and Master threads, so if I'm in here it was a ticker tape that brought me.

And if I see something I disagree with, I comment on it. If challenged thoughtfully, I respond in kind. If the claws come out, so do mine.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
If you consider the difference between deliberately making someone laugh and deliberately insulting them in order to get a reaction (which you've previously said was your strategy) to be superficial then I don't even know why I'm bothering to talk to you.


I deliberately insult people in order to get a laugh. I.e., tease them. I just think of it in more basic terms of the underlying structure of how the jokes are put together. Manipulation. Acting in order to provoke a response. It is inherent in all that humans do, and it's like a gun; useful for good and bad purposes.

I also deliberately insult people when I think they're full of crap, but that's a totally different context. Since this isn't getting anywhere, I think I'll just block you too. Save us some time.



missfrillypants -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/15/2010 3:49:09 AM)

In This Thread:
Ladies who've never been to 4chan get trolled by a guy who acts like he comes straight from /r9k/.

Plenty of women know that men get the societal short end of the stick having to pursue males. Women got the short end that means they have to get pursued by creepy men who've lost all sense of reason because it's been too long since they have had sex. Just like you get frustrated by getting rejected a lot, we get frustrated by getting creepered a lot. It sucks on both sides, believe me. Seeking any type of relationship is hard work. If you don't want to do it anymore, that's fine. But both women and men need to bitch about how hard it is from time to time. The important thing men seem to forget more than women....

It's not women's fault that you can't get what you want. It happens to even people who didn't do anything wrong from time to time. And men who blame women for their ill luck with women or poor technique... Are even less likely to get what they want from women.



LadyConstanze -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/15/2010 5:02:49 AM)

quote:

If I didn't get so many CMails telling me "Thank you for finally saying that!" I'd agree, but I do, so I don't. Frankly, it's a dirty job to call bullshit, but it has its rewards.


And I guess you can back that up?

Look, I find you a very typical example for all the complaining guys... You would make a good point why some lesbians become lesbians not due to their attraction to women but because they are so disenchanted and fed up with a certain type of guy.

Since you brag about that you got no problems getting women, what's it to you if women respond or not, if we have white or black lists? Are you doing this as an unwanted public service announcement?

Now before I block you, let me apologize to you as before I did it to VideoAdmin Theta, it was wrong to say you are like a bad case of bowel unrest, because that usually doesn't last very long, considering that you are a bit like "the gift that keeps on giving" herpes possibly would be more accurate.



chiaThePet -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/15/2010 7:37:22 AM)


So then, that'll be three orders of Latkes with eggs over medium, bacon and toast on the side, and
one man platter of scrambled huevos complainos with a double heapin helpin of corned beef hash.

Fresh squeezed all the way around?

chia* (the pet)




DarkSteven -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/15/2010 8:07:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

scrambled huevos complainos

chia* (the pet)



Bellissima!



LadyPact -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/15/2010 8:11:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Talk about the good letters...hmmm....

Isn't this the thread started by a complaining guy? Then hijacked by another complaining guy? That is a headdesk in itself!

Oh, look.  A chance to talk about the topic.  [:D]

I actually didn't see it as a complaint.  In My opinion, the original is very much based in reality and I think more people would be better off if they thought about it in the same way as what I think the OP was trying to express here.  The underlying tone comes across as something that many of us have said on these boards over the years.  The matching kinks and so on are only going to get someone so far, but to know you want to involve yourself in D/s with someone, you have to get to know them as a person rather than just what's on their interest list.  The fact that the OP is seeing the comment so much in profiles is probably a direct result from the number of people who make contact and seem to be skipping that part.

I've never really been big on the profile thing.  All a profile is, in theory, is a person's attempt to put forward what they think about themselves.  How accurate that really is varies and you don't really know until you meet a person anyway.  I've always found it much easier to get an idea of who a person is on the other side of the screen through their forum posts than I have from profiles.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. (12/15/2010 8:57:15 AM)

I agree that profiles are a screening tool at best. That's why I constantly mess with mine~ The thing is, so few of the folks on the other side actually post here in a meaningful way, so what's left? If you don't have social skills and the ability to understand that "no thanks" or no response is not a rejection of you forever as a human being, you"re SOL.

I used to be much more friendly, and chatted a great deal via pm or im. The person who can actually carry on a conversation without prompting, can manage to NOT call me by an inappropriate term, and will STOP doing that when I ask, is incredibly rare. Granted, not everyone is the genius of typing, but if you can't manage to think of something to say while you are NOT in front of me, what is the likelihood you can entertain me in person? I rarely have kink related discussions at first, I am looking for just plain compatibiilty, and in my world, it's OKAY to make a pal that is not going to be your life companion.

~~~

Okay, ladies, you may have seen my desperate attempts elsewhere to get folks to STOP FEEDING THE TROLLS. Can we do it here, too? Just don't engage him? Block, ignore, pretend he is that drunk at the end of the bar who keeps interrupting the conversation? Honestly, he has no purpose here except to hear himself speak, and I am sure you are as tired of it as I am. Kthx.

~~~



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