lovingpet
Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gungadin09
This thread bothers me. It bothers me because so many of the posts seem to exemplify the kind of intolerance that they are supposedly taking a stand against.
Not at all.
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But before i get roasted, let make this clear:
i think anyone has the right to decide that racism, or other thing at all, is a hard limit.
i think everyone has a right to decide what they can and can't live with in their lovers, friends, family, etc.
i think that everyone has the right to choose their lovers, friends, etc. based on whatever priorities are important to them.
EVERYONE HAS THESE RIGHTS. OF COURSE THEY DO.
Those are called boundaries and preferences. We all have them based on any number of different factors.
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Having said that, it disturbs me when i read comments like:
...that would not be a person i associate with
...i don't waste my time on such individuals
...racists can go fuck themselves
...if anyone i know is racist then that's absolutely disgusting
...i see racist people as uneducated, ignorant fucks
...i would have nothing to do with that person
...fuck racists
...i hate em, i hate em, i hate em
Those are vastly different responses some of which are acceptable and some of which are equally as venomous as the rhetoric of a racist.
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i've known racists. i've known people who were sexist. i've known people who discriminated against old people, against young people, against rich people, against poor people, against people who dressed differently, against people who were a different religion, against smart/dumb people, against fat/skinny people, against pretty/ugly people, against homosexuals, against people with AIDS, against homeless people, against crazy people, against alcoholics, against workoholics...
...of every prejudice known to man, i bet i've known at least on person who had that prejudice...
And of what you just listed few of those traits are ones that can be changed. Once again, you've mixed some inappropriate biases with some perfectly understandable ones. The measure being how much real control the person has over being how they are that is causing the negative response. When you have a choice and you still persist in bad behavior and attitude, then one can expect valid negative sanctions.
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...and yet i've hardly ever met a single person who i thought had nothing to contribute to society; who i hated so much that i wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole; a person that i thought was disgusting, ignorant, and a waste of time; and who i wanted to tell to go fuck themselves, and then kick them out to the curb.
It's not about what they can contribute to society, but what they can contribute to MY life and if it is healthy to have them as a part of MY life. It is the same decision I have to make about every person I meet.
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DO YOU REALLY FEEL THIS WAY?
No. This is the way you are saying people feel. That is your own perspective and has nothing to do with how I feel.
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Because i've never, not ever, met a single person and didn't know that, however much we disagreed, there was still more that we had in common. And that goes for everyone.
And no matter how much we have in common, there comes a point where I have to decide if it is healthy to have any given person in my life. In the case of people with deeply racist beliefs, they are not people that will be functional in my world. It is as much to their benefit as mine for me to walk away.
quote:
Look, i'm sorry to do this. And i understand that everyone has a right to how they feel. But for those of you who said that you just hate racists and you don't even talk to people like that- i will say this: i think you are doing yourselves a disservice. i think you owe it to yourselves to allow yourselves to discover that this person, every person, is more than just the very worst thing about them. i think you owe yourself that much, you owe them that much, even if you never become friends, lovers, or intimate acquaintences.
I am doing both myself and them a disservice if I can't recognize very clear and deep incompatibility. I can listen to most anything. I can talk to most anyone and do my best to see their perspective. It doesn't change who I am or who they are. I still have to decide whether to allow them to take root or not. I am careful about who gets to stay because I know that my most important relationships will come from those I allow to be close and involved in my life. There are some influences I just do not want holding any sway over me. Racism is one of them.
lovingpet
< Message edited by lovingpet -- 12/19/2010 8:28:39 PM >
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RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 
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