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RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 3:55:42 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee



I agree with this. 

I have to do this with the other half.  Telling him that the house needs cleaned up gets me nowhere.  He freezes up like a DEER in the headlights. 

The house cleaning or chore arguements were cleared up by leaving him a list.     

It is just the way that some people work.


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RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 3:56:36 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		If your reptile is apathic, there is no use in requiring her to work.

If she is not apathic, then I have two suggestions:

1. Tell her that you will clean her room and that you will throw everything away that is on the floor or not in its proper place. (Her boy friend may help her.)

2. Pull her mattress outside and nail her door shut. Hang a note on it: "Disaster area. Habitation prohibited".

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RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 4:02:14 PM   
Rule


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Joined: 12/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne
Try dealing with a teenager with mood disorders.

Oops. Then I would tell her how and what: that if she doesn't, you will throw out everything you find on the floor.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne
Try dealing with a teenager with mood disorders. not a pretty sight. I want a trans in case she gets rabies.

What is a trans?

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RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 4:08:49 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		tranquilizer  She came home, bitching at me about she will clean her room when everyone stop bugging her about.

Mom still gets on my ass about having a dirty, but all it is composed of shoes and dryer sheets.  The yarn is in the closet or on a shelf.


_____________________________

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You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 4:39:20 PM   
DamnPickyDomme


Posts: 97
Joined: 10/22/2010
Status: offline 		mood disorders are still no reason to live like a pig. i have a kid with mood disorders too. tell her she has to pay you when you clean her room. a maid gets ten bucks an hour is what you say, so, if you're going to act like a maid, she has to pay you. any allowance she was going to earn will be forfeit. all cell phone bills, any special memberships to special sites, special subscriptions and such will be forfeit as well as long as she continues to refuse to clean her room. her choice, she can clean her room and earn spending money and have all her toys or forget about it. most kids will go for it, even ones with special needs. we have given our children too much, they expect it now, rather than earn it. no wonder so many people whine about what they deserve, not few opportunities to earn things.

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RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 5:28:12 PM   
LinnaeaBorealis


Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline 		Mood disorders are no excuse for bad behavior. I know quite a few children with mood disorders & they have been taught how to act. The mood disorder excuse is just that: an excuse that you use so as not to have to actually deal with her bad behavior & teach her differently. As long as you allow her to behave this way, she will never act any differently. Why should she? This behavior is getting her what she wants right now. I shudder to think of this child as an adult. It's sad, really.

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RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 5:37:36 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		At 15, i can't imagine she doesn't know how to pick up her bedroom. I imagine its she doesn't want too and why should she, you never really make her from what it sounds like and now she is getting paid to not to clean up her room.   If she seriously doesn't know how to clean up her room and isn't just BSing a gullible mom, then yeah do it with her one time.  But i seriously don't believe a 15 year old average kid wasn't taught long before now how to clean up her bedroom.  My parents had simple rule, i couldn't go out until my room was cleaned up.  Period.  While it irritated the hell out of me, it bothered them not at all.  They gave the yes or no on whether i could go out.  I never got paid to clean my room or get good grades, it was expected as simply being a kid of my parents.

The thing is, you start paying her now -- she will continue NOT doing it until you ALWAYS pay her and that will continue over to anything you want her to do.  Tell her she can't go out and her bf can't come over until her room is cleaned up.  As her parent, you have a win-win situation -- you don't have to pay your kid to do something you expect her to do, and she gets her room cleaned and gets to go out. 

If she really is 15 going on 25-30, then this really shouldn't be such a project.  Shahar, she isn't going on 25-30, she is 15.  Treat her like a 15 year old and lay down some rules.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 12/20/2010 5:39:13 PM >

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RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 5:41:27 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		I am seldom here in Austin, but I do try to be some influence.  Bo just gives up because he does not have any experience dealing with her.  I am the one who thinks that she needs some help, but her dad says no. meanwhile the apartment is falling apart, rats, bad stove, broken window.  I am willing to write to the leasing company to get all repairs done.  Bo thinks he can do everything but bitches how folks are not helping him. I have my own problems but I am working with them until I am in so much pain I have to take some pills and lay down the futon (he needs a daybed frame and toss the futon away). 

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 5:50:48 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Are there seriously rats IN the apartment?

angel

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RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 5:54:15 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		yes...Bo sets traps to get them out and we know when they are on top is when the insulation is coming out of the vents.  No word about them lately though.  I have to inspect behind the fridge to see if they are hiding underneath there. 

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 5:58:30 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I think I've told you this once before, shar.  No kid at 15 should be making the decisions about when she's going to clean the room.  You're in charge here, so be in charge and stop letting a child make the rules.

Walk yourself into her room with some garbage bags.  Tell her she gets two choices.  Either she cleans the room or at XX:XX time, you will proceed to start throwing things in bags and take the stuff to the trash.  Anything that makes it to the trash, she doesn't get back.  If she fails to clean the room, follow through.  You may have to clean the room for her, but I'll bet you only have to do it once.


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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 5:59:08 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Rats or mice, big difference.  Rats i believe would be a health hazard for the city to deal with, call the board of health.  Mice would be an exterminator that your landlord needs to call.  Either way Hun, its the landlords issue.

However, Shahar, if they aren't taking care of the apartment, the landlord may have grounds to evict them.  Don't they have annual or bi-annual inspections from the landlord?

angel

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 5:59:50 PM   
frazzle


Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline 		She is 15 was going to take on the responsibility of being a parent, yet you have to pay her to tidy her room???????

Try being her parent not her friend.


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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 6:03:45 PM   
subangi


Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline 		I have younger children and sometimes especially when friends come over it can be quite overwhelming.  I start out simple like say you have to pick up 5 items and put them in its place, or must hang up 5 items of clothing or put all DVDs on the shelf before they can play with friends or whatever might be happening soon.  If I do that little by little it gets cleaned up faster, rather than making a blanket statement to clean it up...period. 

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 6:07:36 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Rodents are bad news.  I would get mean real fast over that item. At least clean the day old food out. Anything that can attract rats needs to be thrown out period. 

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 7:18:22 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: soul2share

Does her room have a door?  Close it......problem solved!

gosh, would i have loved to tell that to my mum
whilst i'm not in general bad with tidyness,i know i can be (as it was when work and uni demands got too much and i neglected my flat a lil bit for that time being). When i was told to tidy up as a kid i had the regular habit to rearrange my room instead, driving mom crazy...in my experience sometimes a problem also is that there is too much stuff at a rather small place, causing it easier to become a chaos because of the amount of stuff. In my last job i had back home i was living in a really nice studio flat, but it was a regular struggle to keep all my crafts stuff in place to avoid that small room getting messy...

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 12/20/2010 7:20:23 PM >

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RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 7:23:42 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

pay her to clean her room.  Then change the fridge into a vending machine.

HA





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The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/20/2010 9:08:16 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		No rat leavings (thank goodness) and I am in the process of washing dishes (I clean my mess except for crocheting).

I am tempting to get a bomb.  Hydrogen should work...

Bo keeps forgetting that he has to pick up his uniform allowance.  I have been chosen to get his uniforms ordered.  I am sticking a post it note in his briefcase in the morning.

I am tired right now, but I am finishing up doing computer work. 


_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to Phoenixpower)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/21/2010 6:20:17 AM   
tropicalhoney


Posts: 2133
Joined: 9/2/2009
From: The Beach
Status: offline 		My daughter was just like lizard and since I never discovered any motivator that worked (including taking everything out and making her pay a quarter for each item she wanted back), I finally settled on the closed door solution. Now she is grown with children of her own and her house is always immaculate except for the room of the one child who is just like her. Revenge is sweet!

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: ARGH!!! Not again! - 12/21/2010 8:23:52 AM   
LinnaeaBorealis


Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline 		I never required my daughter to clean her room. As she got older, she became a neat freak all on her own. Unfortunately, she now lives with a hoarder & her house is pretty much disgusting. When we lived together after she was grown, she was much neater & tidier than I.

However, I still stand by my previous statements that if this is what you require of your daughter, then you need to do something about it. You are the parent, even if you are only a part-time parent. Allowing a child to run the house is not what I would do. On the other hand, if this is what you choose to allow, I think you should stop asking people here for suggestions, since you don't seem to want to follow any of them.

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

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Profile   Post #: 40
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