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RE: Weight - 1/3/2011 5:06:45 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: majiksub

Thanks everybody. In answer to all the unasked questions, Yes I recently had a Dom pull that out on me after he said he wouldn't. As to those that have suggested that I change my behaveour I already have. Since september I have lost 60 pounds and gone down two sizes. And yes I told him that but he still called me a pig and fat. I couldn't belive it.

First of all congratulations on your weight loss, that must give your ego such a boost!

As to the guy who did that, I think his actions pretty much show him as a pig, maybe he's one of those guys who think that general rudeness is a sign of dominance.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to majiksub)

Post #: 21

RE: Weight - 1/3/2011 5:25:47 PM

salemartist

Posts: 195
Joined: 12/17/2010
From: Salem
Status: offline

my brothers would call a guy like this a "chump"

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 22

RE: Weight - 1/3/2011 5:28:29 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: salemartist

my brothers would call a guy like this a "chump"

I could think of some words for him, none of them too long or complicated...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to salemartist)

Post #: 23

RE: Weight - 1/3/2011 5:53:32 PM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

I can't stand people who insult others about their weight. There are many reasons someone may be overweight including past pregnancies and certain medical conditions. Obesity is not always caused by being lazy and/or eating too much. All those infomercials that make weight loss look so easy don't help. They don't tell people that if they succeed in losing the weight, they'll need thousands of dollars for surgery to remove the loose skin that weight loss leaves behind. Everyone has their preferences on what they seek in a mate. If someone isn't interested in anyone who is overweight, then they shouldn't contact anyone who is overweight.

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to majiksub)

Post #: 24

RE: Weight - 1/3/2011 6:49:23 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

Curves = yummmmmmmmmmmmmm

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Post #: 25

RE: Weight - 1/3/2011 7:57:15 PM

majiksub

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/12/2010
Status: offline

Thank you and he did contact me in the first place.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 26

RE: Weight - 1/3/2011 8:03:23 PM

TheBanshee

Posts: 403
Joined: 7/19/2007
Status: offline

Say something like...."yeah, well its true, I could lose some weight, but you'd STILL be an asshole"

(in reply to majiksub)

Post #: 27

RE: Weight - 1/3/2011 8:12:39 PM

daintydimples

Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline

To the OP: That you start out with how big you are telegraphs to the person you are speaking to that you have an issue. JMO. There are ALOT of imperfect people online. Oh chit, there are ALOT of imperfect people, period. If your size is how someone judges you, you know this is not the person for you. Why make it a self esteem issue? B/c society has taught us if we are even slightly overweight, we just don't rate. This is BS.

Studies have shown that most males (though they will not admit it due to societal prejudices) like the way large curvy females look. Those lovely big women have luscious ta tas and round ripe asses begging to be spanked. It's just....no one is even supposed to say that.

Be happy with who you are. Rise above society's petty prejudices and learn to love who you are. Confident people (of either sex) are the sexiest around.

_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?

(in reply to TheBanshee)

Post #: 28

RE: Weight - 1/3/2011 9:13:59 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

when you put in your profile that you would not tolerate names about your weight you threw down the gauntlet and a lot of "doms" see that as a challenge. So they responded to see just how much you wouldn't tolerate it and you fell right into their trap.

If you don't want such responses then imo take it out of your profile. Instead when talking to someone and getting to know them you can tell them about your weight then and be sure to put your weight in the weight area of your profile.

If you still get those responding with such things then just put them on ignore. The moment you answer them you've now been trapped by them.

(in reply to daintydimples)

Post #: 29

RE: Weight - 1/4/2011 2:42:31 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

Hello!

You've had a lot of really great replies here, so I've not much to add.

I'd suggest two things. First, if you want to lose weight then go for it. It's tough, but if you want to be lighter then you've just got to get on and do it. Once you're happy with your weight then don't try to lose more. You're doing this for YOU.

In general I'd say a big curvy woman who is totally happy about her weight is a great deal more sexy than a big curvy woman who isn't.

Next, just politely tell these complete strangers that think it's somehow courageous to say obnoxious things to you to fuck off.

There will be a few of them, but look at the plus side - it's one more profile hidden.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to majiksub)

Post #: 30

RE: Weight - 1/4/2011 2:44:24 AM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: peacefulplace
People believe they have some sort of inherent right to be rude to the overweight. I do not know why. Rude people are classless and usually have poor self images.

And anyone who believes he will cause you to both be sexy and lose weight by belittling you and trying to make you feel bad about yourself is an idiot.

Ditto!
What you need to have, is sufficient self respect, to cut him/her loose, when he/she goes there. If you are not into humiliation, and someone tries to belittle you, that someone, is usually a weak/incompetent person, trying to make himself powerful, by making you insignificant. To me, emotional abuse is worse than physical, and you should never tolerate it. M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to peacefulplace)

Post #: 31

RE: Weight - 1/4/2011 3:23:09 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

that maybe so, but a smart Dom knows that he has no control or say in the weight of someone he's not in a relationship with , and there for has no buisness addressing her about her weight, let alone insulting her about it. And it's easier said than done not being hurt by rude attacks about things, if your sensitive about the subject. I'm not sensitive bought my weight, but I was still hurt when some random woman on here emailed me, I didn't know her had never spoken to her to tell me "forget a. 4 runner, you and your daddy need a forklift, your the fugliest people I have ever seen" that's a direct word for word quote she even created 3 new profiles after I had blocked each new one she made. She was that determined to harras me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsfaith

If you don't like it, change your behaviour...

So pick different doms....

Or change how you react to such comments.

i agree with this. to repeat the same actions over and over again yet expect different results in the definition of insanity, they say. clearly the OP is choosing to tolerate such people in her life, as well as choosing to be hurt by their words. the solution is simple...make different choices.

but to answer the OP's question as to why some will "go there" in the first place, there are a million reasons, but one could be that many Dominants are into humiliation, and will choose an area where the submissive is already sensitive to push those buttons. then some Dominants are very controlling, and may find a submissive's weight to be within the realm of their control as much as anything else.

< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 1/4/2011 3:31:55 AM >

_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 32

RE: Weight - 1/4/2011 3:47:24 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

for all you guys saying change what you're doing if your getting people who insult you, I feel it's a bit like trying to lay blame for the bullied being bullied onto the bullied. I have been bullied over pictures I had up, the people were just that hateful enough to try an belittle me saying things like is this a jabba the hut fetish, and your the worst attempt at being a sissy , they said this cause I have lip hair, I have ever seen, or trying to shame me for being a girl with noticable lip / chin hair. And worst yet in their eyes I wasn't embarrased about it so I didn't wax it off. I was told ewww so gross what woman would have facial hair and not get rid of it, that's nasty. I've been called sasquach, I've even had one person try to imply I wasn't a genetic girl because I have the facial hair issue.Sure before posting apic I could make sure my facialhair is gone, or e ery last detail is neat or not post a pic at all, but in my opinion, its not me that needs to change "what I am doing" but the bullies who do. Afterall short of not posting pics or obsessibg that everything is just so, and i am attacked, often out of nowhere, just what do you say I should change what I am doing. Since I have always been attacked with out any "doing " on my part to them, they just felt an went with the need to be hateful to someone.

< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 1/4/2011 3:59:50 AM >

_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 33

RE: Weight - 1/4/2011 5:02:44 AM

salemartist

Posts: 195
Joined: 12/17/2010
From: Salem
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: majiksub

I am a big woman and I tend to be up very up front about it. So why is it after I have made it so perfectly clear that insults or negative comments about my weight will not be tolerated in any way that some Doms still have to go there.

heres the problem, right up front you gave a "chump dom" (yes this is a newly coined phrase of mine) you handed him ammunition. something like "I know I am a big woman, please do not make negative coments" translated into "chump dom" speech: "I am uncomfortable with my weight, if you really want to degrade me use this against me" if you were ok with you weight this would have no effect. alot of dom's play off fears and things that make a sub uncomfortable as a way to manipulate or punish a sub. If you told him "I am a big woman and I am completely fine with that fact that I am fat, but I really hate spiders" he would likely not use the weight as ammunition against you but rather a trip to the pet store. Simpily hes a "chump dom" and he saw your uncomfort with your weight as an easy target, to degradate, humiliate or manipulate.

(in reply to majiksub)

Post #: 34

RE: Weight - 1/4/2011 5:23:23 AM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: salemartist

alot of people play off fears and things that make a person uncomfortable as a way to manipulate or punish them.

Bolded/changed words added by me.

This has nothing to do with "dom" or "sub" and everything to do with people who feel the need to be manipulative, prickish and offensive to a complete stranger.

OP, block and delete. The more you choose to react to such people, the more power you give them.

(in reply to salemartist)

Post #: 35

RE: Weight - 1/4/2011 5:31:36 AM

salemartist

Posts: 195
Joined: 12/17/2010
From: Salem
Status: offline

thanks for the corrections there, I should have taken the opprotunity to use my new catch phrase "chump dom"

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Post #: 36

RE: Weight - 1/4/2011 7:55:52 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

The whole key here is the word CONFIDENCE.

I always say and truly believe, if you think you are the bomb, you are.

(in reply to salemartist)

Post #: 37

RE: Weight - 1/4/2011 8:32:43 AM

salemartist

Posts: 195
Joined: 12/17/2010
From: Salem
Status: offline

AMEN sexyred1.... I think YOUR the bomb!

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 38

RE: Weight - 1/4/2011 8:40:04 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

Awwwww....thanks, you say the sweetest things!

(in reply to salemartist)

Post #: 39

RE: Weight - 1/4/2011 10:31:06 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

This is true also for the underweight. But in the case of the OP, people can be jackasses. They will often made rude comments when turned down, or just because their sad little lives compel them to be annoying just to be something.

quote:

ORIGINAL: peacefulplace

People believe they have some sort of inherent right to be rude to the overweight.

(in reply to peacefulplace)

Post #: 40

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