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RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 3:00:52 PM

tazzygirl

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quote:

"Whore," "stupid," and "fat bitch" were also used as well, again in a way to not to get mod removed, but the intent was clear

Again, since i am the only one who used "whore" tell me, what was my intent, since its so clear?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 141

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 3:02:58 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

I deleted the last sentence because I changed my position somewhat in a subsequent post and am sad that that went unacknowledged.

I'm sad that in a thread about ganging up on people insults and threats are dismissed as understandable because someone is frustrated. It seems very ironic since most of the things the OP is complaining about also stem from frustration. If frustration is an acceptable excuse for the behavior the OP displayed, than her entire post here is completely null and void!

It seems to me like the OP, and those defending her, are of two minds. They want everyone to be nice but it's ok to lash out and threaten people if people aren't agreeing them.

We're all sad about something, aren't we?

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/6/2011 3:08:47 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 142

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 3:08:46 PM

kalikshama

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After reading your response to my "understandable frustration" post, I changed my position, and am sad that you not only ignored my attempt to find middle ground but keep reiterating a position that I have withdrawn. Well, clarified, because I never meant what you thought I meant.

< Message edited by kalikshama -- 1/6/2011 3:15:56 PM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 143

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 3:14:03 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

After reading your response to my "understandable frustration" post, I changed my position, and am sad that you ignored my attempt to find middle ground.

Please show me were you tried to find ground and I ignored it. I responded this post:

quote:

Hi AquaticSub,

I started to reply to this with quotes from the original thread and earlier quotes from this thread, but in the interest of civility and not beating a dead horse, wanted to simply agree with you that when the OP lashed out 10 or so pages into the thread at least some of it was directed against the wrong people (which I did say below).

I agree that different people interpreted the thread differently.

I stand by my statement that being continually misinterpreted is frustrating.

I agree that physical violence in response to verbal insults is not ok.

I'm not going to continue derailing this thread with that one but am happen to continue the discussion elsewhere if desired.

KK

And find nothing in it that speaks of trying to find middle ground. If you find threats not ok, then why even continue to defend her by talking about frustration or how this isn't on topic? ETA - For that matter, why did you ever defend her threats? Why did you need to change position? That a chance of stance was even needed disturbs me. I never find threats acceptable.

This is on topic. It's talking about the threats and insults users make against each other. That is exactly what she is complaining about. There is no dead horse here. It's alive and kicking.

She made insults and threats and then complains about being insulted. She is reminded of her past behavior and that there is a very good chance people are still responding to that. Frustration is no excuse to make threats and yes, people do get frustrated on here. However, she is complaining about the exact same behavior that she is guilty of. I find hypocrisy frustrating - is it understandable for me to lash out by your scale?

So tell me what your middle ground is. Explain to me why this is off-topic.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/6/2011 3:17:42 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 144

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 3:23:14 PM

kalikshama

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/moves on to a thread where points in paragraphs are understood to be distinct/

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 145

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 3:25:49 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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omg, I knew Nala was going to be pretty, but even through the shower curtain, I can see she is GORGEOUS!!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 146

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 3:25:56 PM

tazzygirl

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Joined: 10/12/2007
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In other words, you have no ability to respond to me or AS because you realized, belatedly, you were wrong, and you do not have the ability, or desire, to appologize for the intentional smears. Good to know.

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 1/6/2011 3:26:38 PM >

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 147

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 3:28:30 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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Ahh, so you have no wish to explain yourself.

By the way, paragraphs - while self-contained - usually have something to do with the paragraph above or below or contain transitional sentences. Otherwise the writing is disjointed and hard to understand. Therefore I, logically, took your points to be separate but related.

Just as this paragraph is separate but related: If you would like to clarify what frustration has to do with her threads in your opinion, I'm interested in reading it. As you stated, I know it's frustrating to be misunderstood.

ETA - Also, what you did was actually make a list of bullet points, not paragraphs. Ooo... edited again to change. According to Wiki I'm wrong about the three sentence thing. Fascinating... *goes on a fact-hunt on google*

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullet_points

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paragraph

The difference matters a bit as, in standard usage IMHE, the bullets in one list all have to do with the same topic. If you wanted to handle different topics, a more effective way would be different lists. But it doesn't really matter - just posting this as an FYI cause I'm a geek.

ETA again to add: Holy crap this is surprisingly fascinating. Thanks for making the paragraph comment. Evidently there is no standard of paragraph length though this Wiki page says they are between 5-10 sentences. Which, IMHO, would put the burden on the writer to make it clear if they were making a bullet list or not as a bullet list can contain short paragraphs and, by some standards, a paragraph can be one sentence long.

http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paragraph

Does anyone have any of their college formatting guides handy?

(G-d I'm a geek... )

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/6/2011 3:41:52 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 148

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 4:30:57 PM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

That's adorable!

It was the first few times, but after a while it got a tad tiresome.

What you had to do was either a) wait for her to "peek" so you could give the command again, or walk up and very gently lift her paws off her eyes, then repeat the command. Whereupon she’d “blink, blink ... oh, is that you? Oh well as it’s you, Alpha, then of course I’ll do as I’m told. I just didn’t “hear” you before”. Talk about topping from the bottom :)

Amazing dog. I've trained maybe 20 or so gun & working dogs in my time, including some very bright specimens, but she was in a league of her own. There isn't a week goes by I don't miss her at some point; quite simply the most wonderful family dog I've ever encountered. I've read that border collies can get close to dolphin levels of "bright" and I believe it, having seen her.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Do you happen to have a picture of her doing that?

No, sadly I don't :( I didn't even own a camera back then.

I have a couple of "happy snaps" of her in "normal" mode. I must get around to having them scanned in. Don't want to lose the (wonderful) memories.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 149

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 4:37:35 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue
What you had to do was either a) wait for her to "peek" so you could give the command again, or walk up and very gently lift her paws off her eyes, then repeat the command. Whereupon she’d “blink, blink ... oh, is that you? Oh well as it’s you, Alpha, then of course I’ll do as I’m told. I just didn’t “hear” you before”. Talk about topping from the bottom :)

Amazing dog. I've trained maybe 20 or so gun & working dogs in my time, including some very bright specimens, but she was in a league of her own. There isn't a week goes by I don't miss her at some point; quite simply the most wonderful family dog I've ever encountered. I've read that border collies can get close to dolphin levels of "bright" and I believe it, having seen her.

Sounds like she was incredibly intelligent! And with a great personality.

quote:

I have a couple of "happy snaps" of her in "normal" mode. I must get around to having them scanned in. Don't want to lose the (wonderful) memories.

If you feel like sharing, I'd love to see them. I have terrible luck in pets when it comes to dogs so I'm always living vicariously when it comes to canines.

Edited because "vicariously through others" is redundant

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/6/2011 4:38:51 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Post #: 150

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 4:41:03 PM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
If you feel like sharing, I'd love to see them. I have terrible luck in pets when it comes to dogs so I'm always living vicariously through others when it comes to canines.

I don't have a scanner, but when I find a mate who has you're welcome to see them.

There's one of her just lounging around, in an "all this is mine really" way, one of her asleep on her bean-bag, and one of her in the snow, with a sort of a "I don't know what this shit is, but I love it!" look on her face :)

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 151

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 4:42:25 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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*giggles*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Post #: 152

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 4:43:42 PM

AquaticSub

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Awww!!!!! I have some video of our ferret with snow. I brought him a big bowl. His response was to touch it, realize it was cold and strange and then view it as a threat to his home. The little guy dug at it furiously while Val and I rolled on the ground laughing. Every now and then he would give us a sort of a "Why am I the only one defending this place" look.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Post #: 153

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 5:03:11 PM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
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From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
If you feel like sharing, I'd love to see them.

I've had a brainwave and bunged the macro lens on my D300. Check your mail and see if those pics are viewable would you?

Obviously they're not as good as a scan, but might suffice for now.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 154

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 5:04:05 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

They are indeed viewable and positively wonderful!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Post #: 155

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 5:12:00 PM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
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From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
They are indeed viewable and positively wonderful!

How on earth I can miss like crazy a dog that's been dead for 20 years is beyond me. But I truly don't think, no matter how many dogs I worked with, then or in the future, that I'd see her like again. There wasn't a day went by that she didn't do something that, if a human being had done it, you would say was "kind", and often things that made no sense in terms of "I do this so I'll get that" ... it was genuine affection and love.

She even saved my life once. Amazing animal.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 156

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 5:30:55 PM

mummyman321

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I will paraphrase instead of quoting as I would fill up a whole page with quotes but this is a common reply to LadyPact, BonesfromAsh and SpiritRadiance:

This site is a wealth of information for people. People like LadyPact and others have taken a lot of their personal time to help make this a better site and to make it easier for others to learn. I am not disputiing that or trying to say they are not helpful. I do applaud the efforts that people like LadyPact and what they have done for site. There is truely a wealth of information here especially once you learn how to naviagate the website.

Google was mentioned and Google is a great tool. Now if you Google BDSM books, I got 293,000 results, which of those 293,000 books are you going to read? I would want to find people currently active in the lifestlye to tell which are to good books and which ones to stay away from. I am going to look for live interaction to find out that information. Hey did you read any of these books and which ones did you find helpful?

Similarly it was mentioned to attend a munch or a play party. That is a great idea if you have one in your area. I live in Cincinnati and there is a local group called PEER (its the only local group). Its has a total of 7 active members. While they advertise monthy munches the reality is many are cancelled or no one show up. If you are not near a big city it becomes a lot tougher. So simply Googling for BDSM events in your area doesn't mean you are going to find it. If you happen to be a single working parent you are not going to be able to make 2 to 4 hours trip to attend the closest munch to you especially if it occurs on a week night.

Back to the point I have been trying to make. For the newbies who do join CM and are looking for information, we can help guide them in the right direction. When they first join they are not going to sit down an read all the FAQs right off. They are looking to interact with people currently in the lifestyle. So they are going to naturally start asking questions either via an email, pm or a forum post. Many do not know netiquitte yet and they are going to ask some stupid questions. We do not have to be mean to those people. We can gently nudge them in the right direction. We will always get the HNG's but they will disappear quickly when they do not get the instant sex they are looling for. So I am suggesting we can be a little more tolerant of those new people joining the site and we do not have to cut them down when they ask a wrong question.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)

Post #: 157

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 5:32:18 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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Animals can do that. The cat I spoke of to you always near when I sick or upset and would stay near me. When I was gone overnight, she worried about me and would repeatedly cry to my parents and take up vigil at my bedroom door. This was also a cat who survived being hit by a car and beat cancer. She was beyond amazing in my eyes.

I was so happy that Valyraen got to meet her just before she died.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Post #: 158

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 5:37:15 PM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321
So I am suggesting we can be a little more tolerant of those new people joining the site and we do not have to cut them down when they ask a wrong question.

But in my experience people don't "cut them down". If they ask something really stupid, they tend to get a comic reply, if they need a bit of a prod in the right direction then they get that instead, and if it's a genuinely interesting or new question you can't move for people saying "ooh! Good question!" :)

(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 159

RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? - 1/6/2011 5:39:03 PM

SpiritedRadiance

Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321
Back to the point I have been trying to make. For the newbies who do join CM and are looking for information, we can help guide them in the right direction. When they first join they are not going to sit down an read all the FAQs right off. They are looking to interact with people currently in the lifestyle. So they are going to naturally start asking questions either via an email, pm or a forum post. Many do not know netiquitte yet and they are going to ask some stupid questions. We do not have to be mean to those people. We can gently nudge them in the right direction. We will always get the HNG's but they will disappear quickly when they do not get the instant sex they are looling for. So I am suggesting we can be a little more tolerant of those new people joining the site and we do not have to cut them down when they ask a wrong question.

So You wish us to take our valuable time, energy and information for the new posters when they wont offer the same by reading the FAQs?

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 160

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