RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (Full Version)

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MaitreDeRoissy -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 5:15:38 AM)

Hi All
Thanks for your suggestions so far. I feel I should probably elaborate a little.

She is on bed rest because she has a cyst on her ovary - she has a scan next week to see if it has changed in size.

quote:


ORIGINAL: crazyml

If your slave is bedridden for a few weeks, my suggestion would be to -

1) Do all the housework, dilligently and to the standard you require of her
2) Bring her meals, prepared to the standard you require of her
3) Provide her with the level of kink she wants, not the level of kink you want
4) Give her treats to help keep her spirits up
5) Entertain her
6) Fetch books and magazines
7) Focus on doing the things that will get her well again as quickly as possible

Now... if I heard that a Dom had done that for his bedridden sub, I'd totally take my fucking hat off to him.....

To me that goes without saying - of course I do everything I can to help.

quote:


ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

You could respect the fact that shes on doctor ordered bedrest, put the Ds asside for that time and care for her as if shes a human being not just a serving tool....

Ya know like people try to do...when people they love and care for are sick...


I do respect that - hence why I am trying to find alternative things to do. FYI it is she who has requested not to be treated as if she's a human being. She wants to keep as much as possible in the slave mindset.

quote:


ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I have to say, if I were sick to the point that my doctor had ordered bed rest and my domme came in and asked for a massage or tried to restrain me...she would be looking for a new sub, and I would have someone else in to take care of me. How fucking selfish can a person be. She is sick for fucks sake

I am NOT being selfish - I am trying to help her in a way that is primarily focussed on her recovery but whilst still enabling her to focus on her chosen role and lifestyle.



SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 6:03:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitreDeRoissy
I do respect that - hence why I am trying to find alternative things to do. FYI it is she who has requested not to be treated as if she's a human being. She wants to keep as much as possible in the slave mindset.




Its men like you who make me happy Im single.

If she has a cyst.... Think of it like this... take an ice pick shove it through your testicals... and continue to do it every time you move....

Now... What are you thinking of while going through this pain?

Now insert your slave here... this is what shes feeling if cysts in women are similar.... Would you want something shoved up your ass or tasks to do? Keep her in the mindset by making sure she knows YOUR in charge and YOUR doing whats best for her... which is letting her rest and not doing anything... thats YOUR order...



LadyPact -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 6:16:32 AM)

Thanks for adding the info.  It makes it a bit easier to give suggestions.  Thankfully, it's just for a week and I do hope that her condition improves.

A lot of the things on sunny's list were good.  Do you have a laptop?

Research is always good.  Do you have a new type of play that you are interested in or want to learn about?  You could always have her do some fact finding on that.  Not only do you get the research out of the deal, but that gives her some play to be looking forward to.

Do you enjoy going to events?  Have her make some initial contacts to groups in areas that you would like to visit.  Maybe tie that in to a group who has an upcoming demo on the new play you would like to try.

There's always things for her to learn more about on different types of service that she can provide in the future.  How is she on leather care?  When she's up and about again, how would you feel about being treated to a Japanese tea?  Would you like a high protocol dinner, with new recipes?  Things like this keep her in the mindset of serving you, give her something to look forward to, and will help her not to feel so bored.

How about writing erotica?  Stories of how she'll be serving again in the future.  This one can be two fold for you, because you can steal her ideas and use them against her when she's feeling better again.

I'd like to send you wishes for her to get better soon.  Best of luck.



crazyml -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 6:17:04 AM)

In that case, man, fair play to you.

<tips hat>



DesFIP -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 6:22:03 AM)

Assuming it's for a high risk pregnancy and she isn't in pain, but is bored. Can she do simple mending? If so then search the closets and you will find shirts without buttons, small tears in favorite tee shirts, etc. You can pick up a sewing basket with an assortment of thread and get some buttons at any fabric store.

She can also pick paint colors for the baby's room. Get zero VOC paint so there will be odor or toxicity, any paint dealer now carries that. She can look online for color ideas, and choose from the chips. Don't choose from the monitor display as the computer doesn't show the colors true to life.

Crossword puzzles. Pack of cards to play Solitaire. If she has one or two favorite recipes in each of her cookbooks, she can copy them all into a notebook for easier access. Plus it will allow you to know how exactly to make dinner while she can't.



phoenixmoonn13 -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 6:28:03 AM)

i ahve been very unwell of an on for the last three months. and ended in an op which i then got a severe infection from. now i am healed but durign this time. master did what ml said he cooked cleaned brought me drinks etc etc. i wasnt bed ridden but was so ill i could do little. i hated it but he ordered it in the end as i felt he shouldnt be doing it. slowly as i got better he let me do things as he knew i needed to started of jsut doing his drinks opening post etc. computer task he needed doing. but during my illness my duty was only to get well



GreedyTop -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 6:39:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitreDeRoissy
I do respect that - hence why I am trying to find alternative things to do. FYI it is she who has requested not to be treated as if she's a human being. She wants to keep as much as possible in the slave mindset.




Its men like you who make me happy Im single.

If she has a cyst.... Think of it like this... take an ice pick shove it through your testicals... and continue to do it every time you move....

Now... What are you thinking of while going through this pain?

Now insert your slave here... this is what shes feeling if cysts in women are similar.... Would you want something shoved up your ass or tasks to do? Keep her in the mindset by making sure she knows YOUR in charge and YOUR doing whats best for her... which is letting her rest and not doing anything... thats YOUR order...


This.

and Angel..

if I was making assumptions, so was everyone else until the OP clarified.

My assumptions are no less valid than anyone elses, therefore my suggestions in re: to their comments had just as much validity.

just saying,



kalikshama -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 7:22:22 AM)

quote:

She is on bed rest because she has a cyst on her ovary


Hot water bottle full enough to get the heat but not too full that the weight hurts. I do about half full.
Castor oil pack: http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/dietarytherapy/a/CastorOilPack.htm
Leave it on for 45-60 minutes. Rest while the pack is in place. (I meditate, listen to classical music, or read something non-stimulating)

Best,

KK



OsideGirl -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 7:28:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitreDeRoissy

She is on bed rest because she has a cyst on her ovary - she has a scan next week to see if it has changed in size.

Ever had a ruptured ovarian cyst? They're excrutiating. I'm mean curled up in a ball, unable to straighten up, screaming in pain, unable to speak excrutiating. The best thing for her would be to do nothing physical.
quote:


I am NOT being selfish - I am trying to help her in a way that is primarily focussed on her recovery but whilst still enabling her to focus on her chosen role and lifestyle.
Yeah, you are. If you weren't being selfish, you'd tell her that her health is more important. If that cyst bursts, it can cause major damage and she could lose the ovary. Put your foot down and be the Dom, this isn't about what she wants. It's about what's good for her.

And if you think lying in bed not being allowed to do anything will take her out of her chosen role, you're wrong. Nothing enforces helplessness more than not being able to do anything.



windchymes -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 8:52:13 AM)

If she's a crafty-hobby sort of person, provide her with one of those lap tables (like you'd bring meals on) and a small kit of whatever she does with all the tools & accessories. Like a kit to make a necklace with the pliers and crimper, or a small scrapbooking album kit and some photos. Heck, take some photos of her in bed and then let her scrapbook them. Or maybe not, lol.

Another just popped into my mind.....have a friend of hers come to give her a manicure & pedicure at the bedside, or even do a simple hair trim to keep her bangs from getting shaggy. A little beauty treatment and some girl-talk can do wonders for the spirit.

edited to add a vowel, Pat.



thishereboi -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 9:05:05 AM)

I didn't say that you were. I was referring to the situation in the post I replied to.

And now that you have explained things a little more, you will probably get better feedback.



subinlife -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 9:19:55 AM)

Your profile says you just took over the organization of a Munch. Let her do the paperwork, make calls, ect.
 
The cyst you speak of I have had. Stop you in your tracks and drop you to your knees, comes to mind.
Wanting to just die is another, but I'm sure you have seen this for yourself. Put your foot down, make her chore, simply get better.
Worry about the rest later.
 
Hope she improves greatly soon.



barelynangel -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 9:35:49 AM)

I don't get why people are insinuating he is trying to cause her more pain or have her do things while in pain. I presume the girl has a mouth to explain her pain and the seem like the are using common sense. This assumption he is a ass is baloney and drawing major conclusions. This has got to stop. Hell the man simply asks for suggestions. And people are calling him names and indicating he is wrong etc. He'll if a person can't come to this kind of message board to get some ideas how to keep things on course when things intervene what the he'll cone here for. He asked for suggestions, he came here thinking done people have dealt with same and simply wanted suggestions. Many of you are acting line he is demanding she do a tango for him.

I can understand her worry. When someone is a slave its HARD to maintain the comfort and security of being so and maintain your balance when you schedule so to speak is upended. Maintaining her on some tasks and such to help her maintain slave comfort may be helpful in keeping her stress levels down But nahh it's easier to call him selfish and being a jerk.

Folks being a slave many times balances women. So even when you are hindered fro
Performing at your peak. Maintaining a semblance of normalcy with tasks, play, etc is helpful a alleviates stress. And yes it's stressful taking a person who is used to the rhythm of slavery out of that and saying no dear let me upend you position and treat you and place you in a position you aren't comfortable with. Sobefore you negatively judge this guy think of her for a sec not your politically correct ideas of bf and gf.

Angel



petmonkey -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 10:36:32 AM)

     i peeked at your profile and see you like movies in general and Horror movies.  "Force" her to re/watch all your favorites. "Force" her to watch recorded stand-up comedy.  Make sure she understands the minute trivia of your favorite sitcoms.  Since you like travel, make her plan trips the two of you will take "someday".  Make her learn a new card game or chess scenario well enough to beat your pants off. You get the idea, sitting down activities all about your interests that provide escape from the things at hand: experiencing pain you're not gleefully administering.
    You like psychology? Tell her what she's doing (getting well) *is* about you.  You're the one with a sub in need of repair, after all.  This is how to repair her, staying in bed, and she can be of service by following the doctors orders, not fretting and becoming well again.  Tell her it's a vacation for you from the typical routine.  Playing with language and turning it around like that can really help out a sub who is worried that she's not servicing you correctly. Insist that this is about your preferences, and as much as she would rather be making you dinner or rubbing your feet or getting roped into a pretzel at a party by you, what you want is for her to stay in bed.
    You could also make her wear her leash when you're sitting together or cuff one hand to your belt.  Play "dress-up the bed-ridden subby"--put your mask collection on her. Play with speech restrictions, deny her the use of a certain mundane word for a day when speaking to you, or demand she use a particular one after every sentence, and see what silliness this produces.  There's a million things we do laying or sitting down that don't require physical effort, we do them everyday, all the time, just heavily couch whatever it is in the "it's for my pleasure" lingo.  Even if it's not really, in the short-term, because ultimately it is, in the long.
    i hope the next Doctor visit goes well.



sexyred1 -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 11:02:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitreDeRoissy

She is on bed rest because she has a cyst on her ovary - she has a scan next week to see if it has changed in size.

Ever had a ruptured ovarian cyst? They're excrutiating. I'm mean curled up in a ball, unable to straighten up, screaming in pain, unable to speak excrutiating. The best thing for her would be to do nothing physical.
quote:


I am NOT being selfish - I am trying to help her in a way that is primarily focussed on her recovery but whilst still enabling her to focus on her chosen role and lifestyle.
Yeah, you are. If you weren't being selfish, you'd tell her that her health is more important. If that cyst bursts, it can cause major damage and she could lose the ovary. Put your foot down and be the Dom, this isn't about what she wants. It's about what's good for her.

And if you think lying in bed not being allowed to do anything will take her out of her chosen role, you're wrong. Nothing enforces helplessness more than not being able to do anything.


This. Pain from things like this overrides any chosen role nonsense. Jeez, I wish some people would spend a day in the shoes of a woman when she experiences excruciating pain related to anything reproductive, believe me, been there, done that and the freaking LAST thing on my mind or anyone I was with, was my "chosen" role.

My role was a woman trying to recover from a painful condition and nothing else on the planet matters.



sansa -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 12:38:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitreDeRoissy

She is on bed rest because she has a cyst on her ovary - she has a scan next week to see if it has changed in size.

Ever had a ruptured ovarian cyst? They're excrutiating. I'm mean curled up in a ball, unable to straighten up, screaming in pain, unable to speak excrutiating. The best thing for her would be to do nothing physical.
quote:


I am NOT being selfish - I am trying to help her in a way that is primarily focussed on her recovery but whilst still enabling her to focus on her chosen role and lifestyle.
Yeah, you are. If you weren't being selfish, you'd tell her that her health is more important. If that cyst bursts, it can cause major damage and she could lose the ovary. Put your foot down and be the Dom, this isn't about what she wants. It's about what's good for her.

And if you think lying in bed not being allowed to do anything will take her out of her chosen role, you're wrong. Nothing enforces helplessness more than not being able to do anything.


This. Pain from things like this overrides any chosen role nonsense. Jeez, I wish some people would spend a day in the shoes of a woman when she experiences excruciating pain related to anything reproductive, believe me, been there, done that and the freaking LAST thing on my mind or anyone I was with, was my "chosen" role.

My role was a woman trying to recover from a painful condition and nothing else on the planet matters.


Sorry, but i have to take this stance, as well.

She's worried you will be displeased with her not being able to do anything. So your job is to now keep her from being mad at herself for nature having taken its course and her body betraying her and developing this condition that caused the dr's order of bedrest. Remind her you are still her owner. Remind her you are still in control, even if she can't do anything to serve you.

One thing you can do for when you're unable to be immediately at her side is to tether her to the bed. Put a cuff around her ankle and use a rope and a caribiner, the caribiner attaching the rope to the cuff, and the other end of the rope tied to the bedframe. Be sure the rope is long enough for her to move around comfortably. Make sure she knows she is allowed to detach the tether from her cuff if she needs to use the restroom, but that is the only time she is allowed to do it herself. Otherwise, you are the only one to untether her.

Another thing, as others have suggested, is to give her puzzles, crafts, or quiet activities such as balancing the checkbook. She can also start a family cookbook. Get her a journal or a pack of 4x6 cards and a box to fit them and she can write the family recipes on the pages or cards.

Speaking of journals, if she doesn't journal already, you could have her start one. She can write twice a day or so, about whatever comes to mind, or on specific topics you assign her.

Above all, though, be sure to reassure her that she cannot displease you by having medical issues. Tell her often how pleased you are with her, how getting her through this without injury is the main focus right now, and that she can please you most by simply following Dr's orders to the T so she does not end up with a more serious condition.

Hope this helps.

sansa




January -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 2:47:32 PM)

quote:

I can understand her worry. When someone is a slave its HARD to maintain the comfort and security of being so and maintain your balance when you schedule so to speak is upended. Maintaining her on some tasks and such to help her maintain slave comfort may be helpful in keeping her stress levels down


Barelynangel,

You make it sound like only slaves are going to be bothered by forced bedrest. Everyone put in that circumstance will be uncomfortable, restless and frustrated! Slave or not. The OP's slave, if she doesn't mess up her health by seeking "slave comfort", will get over the forced bedrest.

This, like so many other topics discussed on CM, is not a D/s issue. The folks who are suggesting things like writing erotica and working cross-word puzzles, are just as empathetic and generous as you are. Please don't forget that. Stop snarling at other posters for being "PC".

January



JstAnotherSub -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 4:02:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitreDeRoissy

Hi All
Thanks for your suggestions so far. I feel I should probably elaborate a little.

She is on bed rest because she has a cyst on her ovary - she has a scan next week to see if it has changed in size.



Ugh.  Having had an ovarian cyst rupture, I hope she is well soon.  Thats some make ya throw up and lie on the floor in the fetal position pain.

Anyhow, have you asked her what she needs or wants?  She might be the one with the answers you need.



sunshinemiss -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 4:42:29 PM)

FFS, he didn't say "how do I make my lazy bedridden slave get her sorry ass out of bed and remember that I'm the one that matters."

The OP seems pretty together. He said:
quote:

I do respect that (she's on doctor ordered bedrest) - hence why I am trying to find alternative things to do. FYI it is she who has requested not to be treated as if she's a human being. She wants to keep as much as possible in the slave mindset.

and
quote:

I am NOT being selfish - I am trying to help her in a way that is primarily focussed on her recovery but whilst still enabling her to focus on her chosen role and lifestyle


Bedrest is boring. If she's got the wherewithal to talk to him about this, she's bored (I'm betting). I don't presume anything lacking on his part - he seems pretty concerned about her in an appropriate way. Seems pretty reasonable to me.

Just because someone MIGHT have a cyst doesn't mean they DO have one or that said phantom will burst. If she can wait a week for tests, then it's not an emergent situation. She's uncomfortable but not falling over in pain. People who are in that kind of pain, as has been pointed out, can't talk to someone about their desire to blah blah blah, their doctor also doesn't say sure have at some ass tapping as long as it's gentle.

A dude comes on here, asks for reasonable and non-wanker suggestions, and then clarifies in a caring manner. It is a good use of the tools he has. I have a sense that he, the lady in question, and her doctor have a tad bit more information than we have.

To the OP (that's Original Poster - DeRoissy),
You seem to have a good handle on the sitch. I wish you and your lady well.

best,
sunshine



barelynangel -> RE: Ideas for bedridden slave (1/6/2011 4:42:31 PM)

January, the OP is about A SLAVE, that is how i addressed it.  I did not negate anyone else simply because i didn't list every and any role a woman may live within when she is with a Man.  This thread is about a SLAVE, and yes, whether you or anyone else likes it sometimes when a woman is a SLAVE, the issue is a M/s concept because that is what HER LIFE is.  You and others may be able to disregard the concept within your lives so when you get sick or whatnot that somehow just disappears, but for many women who live as slaves, it is THEIR LIFE, not just a concept they play when they are feeling 100%.  So yes, it IS a M/s issue when the Master is requesting suggestions on how to maintain the balance for her while she may not be in the rythm she normally in her life, which is being a slave to him.

I am not snarling, i am out right calling people on their BS when they are calling this man selfish and pretty much identifying him as an ass, i have no issue with other people's SUGGESTIONS, i am irritated that people are calling this man selfish and pretty much indicating he is a jerk or an ass because he isn't choosing to disregard her place in his life as a slave.  It sounds to me that SHE doesn't want that either. 

So yes, 1) it is a M/s concept, because for many people there is no differentiation from the M/s and THEIR LIVES, 2) when people are calling this guy selfish and being an ass because he asks for suggestions, i am calling the BS. 

This SLAVE is sick, that is how she exists in his life from what he is saying.  He is following the doctor's recommendations for her and seeming like he is using common sense, and all he has done is come on a BDSM message board asking for suggestions on how to keep the atmosphere and environment in a comfort zone for his slave while she pretty much is in unfamiliar territory for a while.  And yes, January, the STRESS this can cause a woman who exists as a slave in a Man's life can be JUST as harmful to her in such a situation due to the unfamiliarity of the situation, which is also not good for her. 

THAT is my issue -- not the suggestions people are making no matter how wide they are, the OP is capable of determining what is best for his property, and without even KNOWING what suggestions he is taking people are calling him selfish and making him into an ass simply for ASKING for some suggestion.  Unbelievable.

angel



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