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Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 6:22:20 AM   
ThePeripatetic


Posts: 139
Joined: 12/21/2010
Status: offline 		I'm curious... for the Dommes here on CM, how much has feminism factored into your growth/identification as a Dominant Female? Are there any specific intellectuals within the movement who have profoundly influenced your thinking either in general or in particular as it might relate to D/s?

Also, are there any good pieces of literature you would recommend for us guys (Dominant or submissive) to take a look at to gain a better, more healthy perspective directed toward women (Domme or submissive)?

Thank you for your feedback and insight!!!



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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 8:37:05 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I cannot say it has ever factored in.

I've always strove to be the best me, and expect to be treated in a manner that reflects that. I am not the sort of person that demands anything based upon gender, only on my own merit. It's worked for me, quite well.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 8:56:51 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Feminism hasn't factored into it one bit for Me.  I can't even construct a full paragraph on the subject, as it doesn't apply to Me in the least regarding D/s.

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 9:22:18 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I am a feminist, but that really has nothing to do with my views of bdsm.

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 10:13:30 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Feminism factors into my views only insofar as I am a woman, I believe all women should have the freedom to choose her own life path rather than be considered chattel, should have the freedom to vote and make her own medical decisions including abortion without interference, and should receive equal pay/opportunities for promotion for equal work.
 
Beyond that, feminism doesn't affect my attitude toward BDSM much, if at all.  I could recommend some reading material to avoid, such as anything by Andrea Dworkin or Catharine MacKinnon, since they tend to be on the radical fringe of the feminist movement.  However, I'm not sure I can give any recommendations for contemporary writers.  The writers I would suggest would be along the lines of Mary Wollstonecraft, Christine de Pizan, or even Chaucer ("The Wife of Bath's Tale").  Maybe you should start with The Feminine Mystique and work from there.

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 10:28:05 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Does anyone remember the thread on Feminism and being submissive? It was a few months ago and as I recall, very inflammatory.

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 10:30:28 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		A few years ago I started a thread called "Are you a feminist?". Educational, to say the least. And scary.

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 10:44:04 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Fortunately there are a few posters that have disappeared, that used to cause the most drama on the subject. I do not miss them.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 10:45:32 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		They are on Fet, where they have companionship and a wider audience.

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 10:48:10 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

They are on Fet, where they have companionship and a wider audience.


Good place for them.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 2:26:29 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I must say that by choosing my groups, I get much more effectice moronfiltering. I stay the hell away from all femdom groups. :)

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 2:35:19 PM   
ThePeripatetic


Posts: 139
Joined: 12/21/2010
Status: offline 		So it sounds to me like their really isn't much interconnectivity between the two. I don't know why exactly but I just assumed that maybe there would be some kind of link there. I guess I have this image of a young woman having an 'Aha!' moment during an undergraduate sexualities class and then running out to purchase her first single-tail as a result. Forgive me if that sounds terribly naive! Just being honest here, these thoughts have crossed my mind from time to time...


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
Maybe you should start with The Feminine Mystique and work from there.


Honestly, I have labored through Friedan's Mystique. Can't say I really enjoyed it that much. I much preferred Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own. But that's just about the extent of my reading on the subject though.

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 2:57:09 PM   
ThePeripatetic


Posts: 139
Joined: 12/21/2010
Status: offline 		Okay... thinking a little more about this, I think I've identified why I had this very simplistic impression of a "Domme's awakening" so to speak. There are a number of women in my life who I've observed who, in my opinion, could really benefit from tapping into their inner Femdom just a skosh. But from everything I've observed or heard from these women, there's this complete reticence toward anything of the sort. Literally, I've heard them scoff at the idea of playing with dildos/vibrators. It's not like I expect them to become fully immersed in the BDSM scene but I really do think it would help if they loosened up a bit. Anyway, that's some of where I was coming from with this line of thinking.

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 4:20:54 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		But what does that have to do with feminism? I know feminists who are sex positive and I've read articles by feminists who are *not* sex positive (one of the reasons I stopped reading The Guardian), and I can think of several 'anti-feminists' (or at least, anti-the formal feminist movements) who I suspect are decidedly freaky in bed.

Still not following your logic.


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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 4:26:22 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Ditto what VC said.  Do you know anything about Andrea Dworkin?  For reference, she's the one credited with/blamed for the "all hetero sex is rape" mentality.  I can't think of anyone who was less sex-positive and yet still a "feminist."  Loosening up by embracing her inner Domme /= feminism.

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Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 5:20:15 PM   
ThePeripatetic


Posts: 139
Joined: 12/21/2010
Status: offline 		I am aware of the so called "Feminist Sex Wars" and the conflict between the anti-porn groups and sex-positive feminism. Umm, I suppose my train of thought is this... I don't see many signs of Femdom or even BDSM in our recent history (say maybe a half century ago). Maybe I'm completely mistaken but it seems like there's this congruent development of BDSM culture with the rise of gender/sexual rights movements. I'm just curious about possible linkages and if there is a correlation... That or maybe I'm just over analyzing things and need to find myself a new hobby...

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 5:28:24 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		I don't think lack of visibility is necessarily indicative of lack of activity.  Remember that, no matter what went on in private homes between individuals, women were expected to be seen to act in a certain way.  If a woman gave orders and her husband obeyed, that was indicative of her being a shrew and him a weak man who couldn't control his woman.  However, a woman who gives soft-spoken, polite requests is no less dominant than the shrew.  When her husband obeys, he is a doting husband with an impeccable wife.  Public perception was everything back in the day and still is to some extent.  A female-led relationship is an easy thing to disguise.  It may only be obvious to the people involved.  Feminism didn't open the door to female-led relationships, just to the right to be obvious about it.

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Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 5:32:16 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

and I can think of several 'anti-feminists' (or at least, anti-the formal feminist movements) who I suspect are decidedly freaky in bed.



The whole HOH and Domestic Discipline groups come straight to mind. They are strident on the subject that all women should obey men and they talk more about spanking than some spankos I know!


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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 5:43:36 PM   
ThePeripatetic


Posts: 139
Joined: 12/21/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

I don't think lack of visibility is necessarily indicative of lack of activity. 


This is definitely true. But how common do you think female-led relationships were say in the 1930s, '40s, '50s? I'm largely ignorant of the history on this. Do you think it was more common than we might imagine but just well concealed due to society's emphasis on traditional gender norms at the time?

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RE: Feminism & BDSM - 1/11/2011 5:52:18 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmm, don't think they have anything to do with each other, I know subs and switches that are feminists but what they do sexually or what turns them on has nothing to do with being a feminist, sexuality is not always politically correct...

For me being a feminist means that I expect that women have the same rights as men and the same duties, there are biological differences but we are not the "weaker sex" but it has little to nothing to do with our sexuality. I don't subscribe to female superiority, sounds as stupid to me as racial superiority, some things might be my kink, but they are not a "brave new world"

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Those who do and those who don't!

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