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consideration? - 1/17/2011 2:35:41 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I have often seen on profiles "under consideration by <insert name here>" Im just curious but what are your thoughts on consideration online?
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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 2:44:18 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		I think it makes all involved parties sound like idiots. 

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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 2:46:54 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		When daddy an I were getting to know if we where what the other wanted, I mentioned I was under consideration, but then so was he.

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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 3:20:22 AM   
lilredsubmarine


Posts: 62
Joined: 6/17/2010
From: QLD, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

I think it makes all involved parties sound like idiots. 




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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 3:29:04 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Forgive me if I've mis-paraphrased, but I believe other posters have said putting the sub "under consideration" is often a way for Doms to get kink without commitment.

Unless it's clearly acknowledged to be a two way street, when used cavalierly, it feels like emotional blackmail.

Here's an Executive Summary of this discussion:

http://forum.literotica.com/archive/index.php/index.php?t-672395.html

A. Sound like a commitment phobic male ploy to me.

B. It's an excuse for people (particularly horny teen cyberdomlies) to hedge their bets. MasterDomlyCyberKnickers doesn't want to have to call off the search just because he's tallied a few online collars in various convenient timezones. He wants to be able to simultaneously announce that he has oodles of subs who want his collar.jpeg but also that he's open to better offers from other subs. It's an excuse for greed and non-committalism. It also gives the diligent cyberdomly opportunity to dream up lots of silly hoops for his cybersubblies to jump through before he considers them worthy.

C. It comes from the Old Guard Leather community. Mistress Steel has essays about the three collars.
http://www.steel-door.com/Consideration_Collar.html

COLLAR OF CONSIDERATION

Collaring is the term commonly used by those in the D/s community to describe the commencement of a relationship between a Dominant and a submissive. It carries the same type of weight that a marriage ring does in it's final stage and denotes the same depth of commitment. In recent times (since the advent of the Internet) we have seen a bastardizing of this ritual into something casual and transient. This attack on long standing traditions should be actively fought by educating those entering the lifestyle.

First I want to state clearly that in my opinion collaring is done only in real life, between live people, ceremonially, joyously and celebrated. One does not get married online or on the phone and one does not collar online or on the phone.

The first collar offered is called the 'Collar of Consideration'...


< Message edited by kalikshama -- 1/17/2011 3:38:36 AM >

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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 3:55:07 AM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline 		I don't do under consideration, because, it happens too often that one has great emails, and either you meet, and don't physically feel it, or he disappears before you ever meet.
There are also those times, that one's instinct says, "something is off about this."

When seriously considering someone, I don't feel I need to advertise it.  If we are in sync, we will both do something to attract less attention, like removing primary pictures, or deactivating profiles.    M

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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 4:04:45 AM   
Adelleda


Posts: 20
Joined: 9/23/2009
Status: offline 		Personally, I think it is a huge crock of sh**. Just a way to try to get the sub to do things for the "dom" (aka supply him/her with wanking material) with no commitment or anything on his part. S/He can have his fun and when he gets bored can say s/he doesn't meet up to their Domly standards.
This may not be true for all cases but this is what I've found and is my opinion on it.

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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 4:10:07 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I've never understood the 'collar of consideration' thing. 

If I am considering a relationship with someone, and we're doing the relationship dance, it just isnt difficult for me to TELL those who come nosing around that I AM considering a possible relationship with x.

but hey.. if it works for others.. *shrug*

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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 4:10:24 AM   
lilredsubmarine


Posts: 62
Joined: 6/17/2010
From: QLD, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
B. It's an excuse for people (particularly horny teen cyberdomlies) to hedge their bets. MasterDomlyCyberKnickers doesn't want to have to call off the search just because he's tallied a few online collars in various convenient timezones. He wants to be able to simultaneously announce that he has oodles of subs who want his collar.jpeg but also that he's open to better offers from other subs. It's an excuse for greed and non-committalism. It also gives the diligent cyberdomly opportunity to dream up lots of silly hoops for his cybersubblies to jump through before he considers them worthy.


baahahahahaha i love this!!! Cyberdomlies? Cybersubblies?? collar.jpeg??!! *snort* ahahahahaha!! So awesome. In so many ways.

Can i please have your babies now??

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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 4:25:51 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		/demands cookies first/


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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 4:50:21 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I have often seen on profiles "under consideration by <insert name here>" Im just curious but what are your thoughts on consideration online?


"Under consideration" is about separating a naive newbie sub from the greater informed and knowledgeable community so as she'll never know that the "dom/me" likely has less clues about domination than she does.

It's about him maintaining exclusive access. Sure, it's a control dynamic - just as kidnapping and imprisoning someone is. IE, it really only benefits one of the two parties concerned....

We poke fun at the fakes and wannabes all day but they do have a gift for getting to and isolating the new meat, first. My personal favourite is when the sub "under consideration" puts in her profile that all contact with her must first go through "Sir/Lord/Master Emptyhead" for his approval.

As if any self respecting Dom/me is gonna skip through those hoops....

Focus.

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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 5:50:22 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		There are two aspects to this: the under consideration aspect, and the online aspect.

Counter to prevailing sentiment here, I'm not against either one.  Online works for some who for one reason or another cannot handle a real relationship.  However, the element of trust can't be as great because - let's face it - you're not sure that the other person is unmarried or even the gender they claim to be.

The whole concept of "under consideration" has been screwed up.  It is similar to an engagement - no firm commitment yet, but a genuine investigation into whether things could work.  Unfortunately, a lot of people have misused the under consideration thing to lock a partner out of her search while continuing to give no commitment in return.

The combination of the two is just a red flag.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 6:02:11 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		i have to say, i totally agree with DarkSteven on this one. i'm not opposed to it, in and of itself -- but the misuse of it is what pisses me off. requiring that the person "under consideration" stays attached, while also giving oneself an out to avoid commitment in return -- that's pretty craptabulous. but the practice, in and of itself, isn't necessarily bad. 

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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 6:07:43 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		When I was a newb here but not in wiitwd, I met a young lady from here and we became great friends/playmates. She was really tired of the volume of mail she got here from idiots so we decided to see if her putting "under consideration" on her profile would help with the mail volume. It didn't so I told her she might as well take it off. shee 'thanked' Me properly for trying to help and we're still good friends even though she moved away.
Sometimes, I think that "under consideration' MIGHT be a vain attempt to cut down on mail volume. It doesn't work though.

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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 6:29:20 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
Sometimes, I think that "under consideration' MIGHT be a vain attempt to cut down on mail volume. It doesn't work though.

Would this explain the profiles that list Under Consideration by so and so,
and yet there is no such so and so on there friends list (but lots of others) ?
That often puzzled me. Same thing with many of the Owned By profiles.

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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 6:41:06 AM   
CeriseNin


Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
Status: offline 		In theory everyone I date is "under consideration" as a potential long-term partner. If things are getting serious between X and me, then I can open my mouth and tell whomever that I'm not available.

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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 6:59:13 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poise


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
Sometimes, I think that "under consideration' MIGHT be a vain attempt to cut down on mail volume. It doesn't work though.

Would this explain the profiles that list Under Consideration by so and so,
and yet there is no such so and so on there friends list (but lots of others) ?
That often puzzled me. Same thing with many of the Owned By profiles.

Could be but, you have to realize that not everyone in the lifestyle is on this site. I wasnt for a decade and a half. Those might be collared to/ownedby/under consideration by someone who just isnt on the site.

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 7:15:58 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Gasps. 10.5 years without the big white cock? Yikes!
Im glad you're a member now. I enjoy your posts.


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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

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RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 7:19:24 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		More like 15 years but Im here now n that's what counts right?

I'm one of those "pre internet" Doms.

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: consideration? - 1/17/2011 7:22:03 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		consideration rings of "I'm waiting to see if I find someone better. If I don't then I'll take you".

Anytime anyone ever said that to me I just moved on. I like to think I'm worth more than just considering.


(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 20
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