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going vanilla! - 1/22/2011 7:15:51 PM   
Darktra151


Posts: 46
Joined: 1/22/2011
Status: offline 		Would you ever go back to the vanilla lifestyle?
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RE: going vanilla! - 1/22/2011 7:18:27 PM   
Idahobulldom


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/16/2010
Status: offline 		Why? Like asking would I got back into the womb? Not an option for me!

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My glass is usually 1/2 full, unless I forget to fill it up.

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RE: going vanilla! - 1/22/2011 7:19:29 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I would love to be wired that way, but alas, it is beyond repair.

(in reply to Idahobulldom)
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RE: going vanilla! - 1/22/2011 7:21:51 PM   
art4YOU


Posts: 55
Joined: 1/8/2011
Status: offline 		Hopefully NOT ...love the Kink Community and Lifestyle too much.

(in reply to Idahobulldom)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: going vanilla! - 1/22/2011 7:26:19 PM   
smartsub10


Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline 		Never.  Would rather be alone than to try to make another vanilla relationship work.

_____________________________

Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
____________________________________________

“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to Darktra151)
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RE: going vanilla! - 1/22/2011 7:29:27 PM   
Darktra151


Posts: 46
Joined: 1/22/2011
Status: offline 		do you ever find yourself wanting it both ways? Vanilla someday and kinky others? 

(in reply to smartsub10)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: going vanilla! - 1/22/2011 7:49:11 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I don't separate my life into categories so I can't go back or jump in either one. Life is just that....life.

(in reply to Darktra151)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: going vanilla! - 1/22/2011 8:26:44 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Absolutely never. I was never there in the first place.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

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RE: going vanilla! - 1/22/2011 8:31:13 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Dunno. Maybe if I got bored enough or INSANE enough to fake that kinda thang .

But, knowing my luck...the week after I shack up with some shmuck...I run into my dream Dom and there I'd be...the biggest, skankiest, cheatin'est slutbag on the planet...cuz now way in hell would I keep the shmuck. LOL

So, I better stick to NO, just in case...some have enough problems without me adding to the distress.

< Message edited by came4U -- 1/22/2011 8:35:34 PM >

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It hurts.....that you call me a masochist


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RE: going vanilla! - 1/22/2011 8:32:59 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I do relationships, not lifestyles

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: going vanilla! - 1/23/2011 5:23:53 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I do relationships, not lifestyles


This. And, the people in my relationships are far more important than a few ativities that may, or may not, be enjoyed.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: going vanilla! - 1/23/2011 5:27:02 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

Dunno. Maybe if I got bored enough or INSANE enough to fake that kinda thang .

But, knowing my luck...the week after I shack up with some shmuck...I run into my dream Dom and there I'd be...the biggest, skankiest, cheatin'est slutbag on the planet...cuz now way in hell would I keep the shmuck. LOL

So, I better stick to NO, just in case...some have enough problems without me adding to the distress.



(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: going vanilla! - 1/23/2011 5:34:58 AM   
ashjor911


Posts: 7793
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: balcony, having a Smoke
Status: offline 		First can you explane what vanilla lifestyle really is ?
then we will talk.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: going vanilla! - 1/23/2011 5:46:35 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darktra151

Would you ever go back to the vanilla lifestyle?

I tried it for about a year. What it meant was this:
finding an old friend whom I love very much, discovering that he was judgemental about most aspects of relationship related to kink (meaning anything ourside of procreative straight sex), finding out that he was alone as a consequence off this and alone in a way out of which he was unable to see any solution.
It meant that I still loved him but I love the person I thought he was. It means that there's a great deal we cannot talk about based on my experiences and therefore a great many experiences that I have had which he will never know about or indeed come close to sharing.
But it is still a deep and wonderful friendship based on other shared likes/views/spirituality/food/interests.
In other words having a shared kink is not enough to sustain a relationship if that is all there is. Shared kink can make for wonderful scenes and shared play but may not necessarily endure for a lifetime.
So my answer is: tried to go back but never can to a life without bdsm but a life with only bdsm is not necessarily a way forward.
Best to have it all.


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Darktra151)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: going vanilla! - 1/23/2011 5:46:46 AM   
gothikbutterfly


Posts: 484
Joined: 12/4/2010
From: the deepest darkest recesses of your mind
Status: offline 		i would have to say no, because it is too bland for my taste. and besides...i kind of like where i am right now. i have the best Master in the world, who i madly adore and worship the ground he walks on. why change a good thing?

(in reply to ashjor911)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: going vanilla! - 1/23/2011 6:04:05 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I would love to be wired that way, but alas, it is beyond repair.


there is no reversive surgery on offer?? - dammit!

sometimes i think about it, as a vague idea i know im not going to really go for.  i think that maybe i could love a man and push away the wiring in me, but i know that it would be just a big fat lie and that eventually id find myself needing this again.

so no. 

it isnt even as if you can quietly submit without them knowing, because all part of this is the fact that they know what youre doing and why and respond to you in a way that lights you up inside and fills that core depth nothing else fills.

so no. 

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: going vanilla! - 1/23/2011 6:07:28 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		I'm tempted to say that kink is an addiction for me.
And why would I give up an addiction that is safe, sane and nutually consensual?


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: going vanilla! - 1/23/2011 6:23:21 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		Okay - well, now that I'm...sigh...single...I kind of wonder about this sometimes - worry about it, actually. I'm much more about D/s relationships - I guess 50's household? I don't know what the exact term would be - than, say, bondage, sensory deprivation, "scenes", high levels of pain, and anything on my body like body wax, etc. My kink could maybe be considered outside of "BDSM" if the man is an ultra traditional kind of man. I mean, I have done and will do all those things - but ultimately, it's because he wants to, not me. I need the submission and extreme acts of service to a strong personality. I do like it rough in the bedroom, but probably nothing that would scare anyone with a little imagination away. I also need the consequences - whether it's a physical spanking or a stern talking to or whatever. Technically, I suppose I could find much of that with a more vanilla-type man. As long as he's somewhat kinky, though kinky doesn't have to mean BDSM.

And what I wonder about as well is this...if I am a submissive personality, not needing so much the physical aspects of it, if he is a strong enough personality but just not into, say, spankings or a face slap now and then - would I be happy in that more vanilla-type relationship because I am giving him what he wants?

I suppose if he's "vanilla" but willing to allow me to manifest my devotion to him through acts of unconventional and excessive service and submission, and if he was kinky enough to allow some of those acts to be on the extreme ends of the sexual spectrum, and if he could be patient/stern with me when necessary for correction/discipline, and, well, of course, he would need to have that overall dominant personality ....wait...I guess that's D/s, isn't it?

LOL - I guess the answer is no, then. Shit.


(in reply to gothikbutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: going vanilla! - 1/23/2011 6:55:51 AM   
ashjor911


Posts: 7793
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: balcony, having a Smoke
Status: offline 		Kink is an addiction
All of you wrote no
Did anyone consider being in a relationship with someone who can share your own kink?
I mean really think at it for a moment, if you want that relationship to work you or he/she will try hard to make it work, no matter what your kink is.
& if you like something why not sharing your idea with your partner, what would go wrong?

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: going vanilla! - 1/23/2011 7:06:07 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		What is vanilla? I think of myself as pretty vanilla with some Hanky Spanky topping on the side. A lot of people on this site are M/s. I'm not. I'm dreadfully boring compared to the others. I guess that makes me vanilla! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! for vanilla!!!

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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Profile   Post #: 20
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