RE: older men

RE: older men (Full Version)

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InvisibleBlack -> RE: older men (1/24/2011 6:14:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 Seriously for me that slovenly background was the biggest turn off. Ick. I don't want to hook up with a slob and most women I know don't either. Just some advice. No. No no no. Work with me here. Half the point is to have that wonderful submissive clean the place for you! (In between the sexual servicings, that is.) [;)]

InvisibleBlack -> RE: older men (1/24/2011 6:29:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: keepmehard why do subs say that age is a factor? it sseems to me a lot of subs are just looking for boyfriends, not an experienced master This has been pretty well answered, but I'll throw in my two cents. It's a factor because the dynamic they're looking for within the lifestyle is something where it matters - either that they're not attracted to older guys. Or both. If they're seeking a kinky relationship with someone they regard as a social/cultural peer of their generation, that's not necessaily something wrong with them. Move on. Find someone who meets your criteria. Just bear in mind that if you're looking for someone who's 20 (or 30 or 40) years younger than you are, attractive, submissive and looking for a serious D/s relationship with an older man - you're asking for a lot, so you need to bring a lot to the table yourself - and I don't mean money. There are younger submissive women out there who want someone who is significantly older than they are. I've had women under 20 turn me down because I'm "too young". It happens. The other thing I'd offer, based on some experience, is that online, age is a larger factor than it is in real life. On a web site, people can sort by age. They set their filters by age. They have pre-determined impressions of what any given age must be like. If you meet someone at a bar, an event, a club or whatever, the impression you make carries a lot more weight than your age. If you come across as Dominant, energetic, charismatic and intriguing - exceptions will be made. Online, quite often, you're just a number and you'll be rejected by that number. Taking it personally serves no purpose, they don't know anything about you so they can't make any value judgements. Also, and this has been said before - what you put in your profile is key. The select group you're looking for is being hit on by every swinging dick in a thousand mile radius (and probably even the non-swinging ones). You need to make yourself stand out as different (and ideally a better catch than) the motley mob of crude rude blundering clods who are only thinking about sex.

Aynne88 -> RE: older men (1/24/2011 6:49:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: InvisibleBlack quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 Seriously for me that slovenly background was the biggest turn off. Ick. I don't want to hook up with a slob and most women I know don't either. Just some advice. No. No no no. Work with me here. Half the point is to have that wonderful submissive clean the place for you! (In between the sexual servicings, that is.) [;)] [;)]. Um...no?

peppermint -> RE: older men (1/24/2011 7:08:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: InvisibleBlack The other thing I'd offer, based on some experience, is that online, age is a larger factor than it is in real life..... If you meet someone at a bar, an event, a club or whatever, the impression you make carries a lot more weight than your age. This is so true. I was not looking for a Dominant who was 10 years older than I. I have always preferred men my own age. If Gary had written to me on Collarme I probably wouldn't have been very receptive due to the age gap and the distance. Gary and I met at a kinky event. We had tons of fun together. His age was not a factor and I never asked how old he was. Six months later I was on a plane to move to where he was living.

MercTech -> RE: older men (1/24/2011 8:57:47 PM)
Age? Who cares! What I want is people in my life with similar interests, both kinky lifestyle and vanilla. I have enough people around I can only interact with only in a limited spectrum of my interests. Stefan

LillyBoPeep -> RE: older men (1/25/2011 3:16:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: keepmehard i want to thank everyone who answered my question and it brought me to the realization that a lot of them were right. i did sound like a 20 year old sleezeball, so i chamged my profile to what i am looking for bravo to you ^_^ i'm glad you accepted the advice without getting pissed off. the profile re-write is pretty good, but (why am i always agreeing with kalikshama? haha) you really should add some vanilla interests. if you're seeking a long-term relationship or companionship, you'll have to be compatible with someone in ways OTHER than playtime. plus, it goes to show that you DO place importance on things other than play, because you bothered to mention them -- for a lot of female s-types, that's important. quote: ORIGINAL: InvisibleBlack The other thing I'd offer, based on some experience, is that online, age is a larger factor than it is in real life. that's very true, but that's also why, if you're going to do the online thing, that you write and express yourself well.have some vanilla interests listed, a picture (if it won't jeopardize your job). one-liners are hard to judge by; write something thoughtful that responds to the profile you're reading. i mean, i'm sure people have assumptions and stereotypes about what 26 year old brown-skinned females are like, but i should hope that through my writing, i can express who i am, and that i am very much NOT like the common stereotype (and we're very non-compatible if the stereotype is what you're looking for =p) online comes with a myriad of pitfalls, but if you're going to use it, you have to understand them and figure out how to navigate them like Indiana Jones. =p

kalikshama -> RE: older men (1/25/2011 4:39:09 AM)
quote: why am i always agreeing with kalikshama? Only cuz I get to the thread first!

DarkSteven -> RE: older men (1/25/2011 6:23:12 AM)
Okay, OP, let me share. Your approach seems to be that you're looking for a sub who'd be okay with an older man. I've run across several that would prefer an older man. Their reasons are usually that the men in their own age bracket (20s usually) are immature, and that the subs typically are bookish and intelligent, and find men their own age ill-read and inexperienced in life. I still find your profile lacking. Before modification, it said "I want sex". Now it says "I want relationship" . But the only thing you say that speaks to a relationship is the last sentence when you say you lead a simple life, although you don't explain what that means. If I were you, I'd rewrite the profile again. Say what kinds of activities you'd be doing with her. If they'd include conversations, tell her the topics you speak on, and the ones you'd like to know more of. Speak like a Dom, someone who enjoys being in charge. In other words, change "if you want to be collared we can talk about it, if you want sessions we can talk about it." to "Open to collaring and sessions." Although I can't imagine a D/s relationship without sessions. And I hate to say this, but we live within a written medium. To demonstrate Mastery to a prospective sub, try to put forth a better image of yourself,as far as spelling and grammar go.

Twoshoes -> RE: older men (1/25/2011 7:21:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Their reasons are usually that the men in their own age bracket (20s usually) are immature, and that the subs typically are bookish and intelligent, and find men their own age ill-read and inexperienced in life. I don't think men or women on average are more well-read, mature (or well-traveled and experienced) in their twenties. It's simply likely a person will develop those two things over time, so it's just easier to date someone older if that's what you're looking for. As mentioned in the other thread, I find myself often attracted to older women, just because of that, so I can understand what the motivation is. But it's still possible to find someone your own age with those qualities if you're willing to look hard enough. Plus young people tend to have all these big dreams for themselves, which are incredibly appealing if you're a person prone to romanticizing everything in life (like I am). They have not yet been subject to the taint of cynicism or jaded by the unfairness of life. [;)]

LillyBoPeep -> RE: older men (1/25/2011 7:26:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Speak like a Dom, someone who enjoys being in charge. In other words, change "if you want to be collared we can talk about it, if you want sessions we can talk about it." to "Open to collaring and sessions." Although I can't imagine a D/s relationship without sessions. great point -- it's a pretty big turn off for some to hear "the relationship will be whatever you want it to be." being catered to is not why i'm interested in power exchange. haha =p and i think you can be fairly well-read and experienced in your 20s. i've had worlds more experiences in my life than some people i've met twice my age. it can be difficult to relate to people my age who have limited views of the world. on the flipside of that though -- yeah, sometimes older people ARE cynical. sometimes younger ones are more excited about new things. the prospect of "the future" is a good thing.

ThundersCry -> RE: older men (1/25/2011 9:56:41 AM)
LOL... YOU have a huge point...many older guys go thru the BIG midlife crises, I`ve seeen it, and desire a younger lady...in reality what do they really have to offer, other than they are about the same age emotionally... THen you have to think about the future for HER...you gonna make sure she is well taken care of after your 6 feet under? Oh well...Like Mick said...you`d make a dead man cummmmmmmmm I would need started up LOL Then its like now what....sport eye candy around? I have nothing against yourner ladies <eg> its to big of a responsability in the long run Your so funny, Aileen...BTW how old are you LOL T

rulemylife -> RE: older men (1/25/2011 10:14:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 And it looks like a lot of old guys are just looking for someone to keep them hard. [image]http://thegrandnarrative.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/yeah-baby.gif[/image]

DarkSteven -> RE: older men (1/25/2011 1:59:39 PM)
Lilly, you just made my point. I meant to convey that the young women that are well read and intelligent are the ones that I have found to be more interested in older men.

roland23 -> RE: older men (1/27/2011 10:50:02 AM)
As an older man(51), I tend to like older women (40-60). They usually know exactly what they want(i.e. a submissive relationship to a dominant guy) Younger women seem to be looking for that Prince Charming etc and that's not me. Too bad for them!

txurinal -> RE: older men (2/6/2011 6:33:56 AM)
i apologize for getting off topic but wnted to comment on something "peppermint" wrote. i am a gay male but have had experience being dominated by straight men. In no way, did this make them homosexual. Our sessions were about power and control, not sex

MrRodgers -> RE: older men (2/6/2011 6:50:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 And it looks like a lot of old guys are just looking for someone to keep them hard. Pretty good girl...it works too, I'll tell ya.

littlewonder -> RE: older men (2/6/2011 7:09:31 AM)
I was looking for a relationship with a Dominant man so hell yeah..age was a huge factor for me. I'm not attracted to old men or boys.

sirsholly -> RE: older men (2/6/2011 7:13:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: keepmehard why do subs say that age is a factor? it sseems to me a lot of subs are just looking for boyfriends, not an experienced master Titles are not magnets.

SourandSweet -> RE: older men (2/6/2011 8:41:17 AM)
I'm 43, my dom is 58. That's a larger age gap than is usual for me, but I do tend to be attracted to older men. The reasons why are varied (and very much generalisations) but include things like: They know how to act in any social situation; They tend to be well-read (not to imply younger men aren't - but they've had more time to read more!); They are more likely to be at a more stable time in their life i.e. if they have kids they're grown, in work they tend to be higher up or self-employed - so can be more flexible with their time; They tend to have more patience, and that's something which I find I need (yes, subs are allowed needs y'know); They tend to have more self-knowledge; They generally tend to know more than me about life etc, and that's something which I also feel is important. There are multiple other reasons, and then of course I must stress that I have known younger men who fulfil all the above. It's a generalisation. However, having looked at your profile you wouldn't appeal to me, whatever your age. The reason? Well, as another mentioned your photo isn't likely to draw in someone like me. I'm happy to clean for my dom, but not if he isn't proud of his home himself. Also - your profile is so important and yet you don't seem to have taken care about your spelling and grammar. Now. If a man doesn't care enough about his public persona to put a few minutes effort into his profile then why should I think he would put in the effort to ensure my wellbeing? Think about it - if I were single in another 10-15 years I'd be looking for a dom around your age, so there must be subs who would be interested. You have to sell yourself better. Maybe consider what it is that you can offer a sub rather than what you want to take from one? For the record my dom looks 10 years younger at least because he takes good care of himself. His previous long term relationship was with a sub 5 or so years younger than me. So it is very possible. :-)

TotalDiscipline -> RE: older men (2/6/2011 9:13:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 And it looks like a lot of old guys are just looking for someone to keep them hard. ..and what are the girls looking for..?

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