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RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 9:54:00 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I was wary of 'willing to relocate' because I like to take relationships slowly but surely, but I like to be able to see my partner regularly. After a few long distance relationships which died a slow and painful death, I realised that for me it was local or nothing.

I did briefly talk with a guy who was willing to relocate, but his idea was that he'd come over to see me every weekend, stay with me for the whole weekend and then go back to his home. That was a bit full-on for me - I like to meet up, go out to the cinema, to the pub or for a meal.

Slowly slowly catchee Dom-ee...

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 9:59:39 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		I have experienced a dominant relocating for me. Having moved into my house three things happened within the first fortnight of my experiencing living with him: one I had an overwhelming sense of physical repulsion, and two based on our incompatability in terms of creativity/intellect  plus my switching to the other side of the kneel. Indeed it was my experience of being in the submissive position with him that was the end of the line. I have no way of knowing looking back if the relationship was the sole factor or if I would have more gradually changed position had there not been this trigger.
However: I still had a part of me that was silenced and subservient in terms of that original dynamic and I do remember it was three months of extremely painful inner struggle, long phonecalls to two very loyal friends that helped me through.
I was a combination of fearfulness, guilt and indeed shock at how quickly the process had happened and although of course I knew I had to speak out I couldn't. That emotional pain was I think the worse I have ever felt. I think it almost destroyed him both in terms of his confidence as a dominant and of course the wreck it had made of his life decisions.
He had left another country to come to me.
Now I'm considering a man who is a slave, lives in another country and is willing to relocate. I really don't have any doubts based on either of those two apsects of who he is. Indeed I feel more comfortable with the power dynamic and that he would and could preserve that role as an aspect of relocation.
He's sorted but an interesting and creative Anglophile so just being English is somewhat of a magnet.
So yes for me these two aspects of wilingness to relocate are intrinsically tied in together in my experience but that is not to say that they need necessarily be tied together for other people.
And just a note to say that because of my job and that I am a single matriarch I simply cannot relocate. So if need be someone would have to unless I get hitched to a 'guy next door' which is very very unlikely to happen.
A very interesting quetion OP now that I have thought about it.


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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:09:44 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I would not wonder why someone could relocate easily. Some have that kind of life, no family commitments, etc.

What irks me big time is the many, many emails I get from Doms asking me if I would relocate when that is not in my profile.

When I ask why they are asking me when they could do it themselves, invariably the reply was, oh, but you are a sub, so you should move, I have too many important responsibilities, etc. to move.

As if my life is not as important, yeah, ok.

Ridiculous.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:17:41 AM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

some folks are more free to relocate than others, regardless of any orientation. This may be due to family stuff (divorced parent, or not), employment possibilities (especially in the current job market), other familial respnsibilities.   If that stuff doesnt apply, then why shouldnt they be willing to relocate other than personal choice?

I have nothing keeping me here beyond a job.

I'd relocate happily...

Since I have that choice, why wouldnt a self identified dominant?


What she said

As some folks know I relocated in the past and will do so again (though my country keeps changing a lot at present )

Anyhow what makes me regular snort are the folks who try to tell me that I would be looking for a Dom to be able to relocate despite that I made the facts clear to them that I can get the visa on my own

some rules simply never change, such as the one that you can't fix stupid



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The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:19:28 AM   
Chulain


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline 		I would be leery of anyone who stated very early in the relationship that he or she is willing to relocate, or asks if the other is willing to relocate. I was told a story by a woman who said a man once told her he would have to come stay with her for an extended period of time so he could determine if they would be compatible living together. She told me this was right out of the blue, and she ended the relationship because it gave her the creeps. Anyone trying to move too fast, sub or dom, has some problems.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:20:33 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, especially if that is one of the first things they ask. Red flag.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:24:24 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		I was thinking about this whilst out food shopping

Why is it that its cool for male and female subs to state they are prepared to relocate but male and female dominants are suspect? Thinking about it, I have never seen a female dominant state in her profile that she is prepared to relocate and yet I have seen plenty of dominant men making that statement. Is that because women in general prefer to stay closer to their families? if so that doesn't explain all the fem subs that are willing to relocate.
What about a fem sub that have children still living at home. Is it cool for them to upend their childrens world? To change their schools and drag them away to an unpredictable future with a new Master? Is it ok for a one parent family to look for stability with a solvent man but not ok for a male to do the same?

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:25:54 AM   
SlaveRMneeded


Posts: 11
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		I am fully willing to accept slaves that are willing to relocate - so long as they can prove, by their actions before relocating, that they exist and are slaves. They know the risks, if it does not work out, and it is their money spent on the moving. So, I do suggest to them that they come for a visit, first.

Quite frankly, if I was to rely on local people, only, the pickings would be very poor, indeed.  However, they aren't exactly great, regardless.

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:36:27 AM   
Chulain


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveRMneeded

I am fully willing to accept slaves that are willing to relocate - so long as they can prove, by their actions before relocating, that they exist and are slaves. They know the risks, if it does not work out, and it is their money spent on the moving. So, I do suggest to them that they come for a visit, first.

Well, anything's cool as long as everyone goes in with both eyes open. Personally, I would not relocate, nor would I ask someone to relocate. But that's me.

(in reply to SlaveRMneeded)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:38:43 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Jeez some of you folks are reading wayyyyyy to much into a couple simple words. My work is such that I could relocate easily. My family is another story. Also I need to be near the water for sailing. However If I ticked the relocate box it would mean that I am willing to move nothing more.

Does is make me less of a man? <read Dom> Hardly! Does it make me feel "creepy> Ludicrous!!! Does it mean upon first contact with someone I am willing to move in ASAP? Are you INSANE??? Believe it or not "willing to relocate" in my book means that given the rite set of conditions I would move somewhere else.

BadOne

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:40:54 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*agrees with SB*

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:41:34 AM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain

I would be leery of anyone who stated very early in the relationship that he or she is willing to relocate, or asks if the other is willing to relocate. I was told a story by a woman who said a man once told her he would have to come stay with her for an extended period of time so he could determine if they would be compatible living together. She told me this was right out of the blue, and she ended the relationship because it gave her the creeps. Anyone trying to move too fast, sub or dom, has some problems.


IMO the issue isn't if the person is willing to relocate or not the issue is why the person would relocate and yes, too fast is just as creepy as the string-along-folks who expect you to take them serious with meeting once a year.

I, for example, know I won't stay in the UK, so why should it then be creepy that I would be one of the ones who is willing to relocate. It depends on the context. I will relocate either with a dom or without, so for me it is not a "might" but instead a fact.

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RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:41:38 AM   
Chulain


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
Jeez some of you folks are reading wayyyyyy to much into a couple simple words. My work is such that I could relocate easily. My family is another story. Also I need to be near the water for sailing. However If I ticked the relocate box it would mean that I am willing to move nothing more.

And of course everyone is like you.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:42:59 AM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Jeez some of you folks are reading wayyyyyy to much into a couple simple words. My work is such that I could relocate easily. My family is another story. Also I need to be near the water for sailing. However If I ticked the relocate box it would mean that I am willing to move nothing more.

Does is make me less of a man? <read Dom> Hardly! Does it make me feel "creepy> Ludicrous!!! Does it mean upon first contact with someone I am willing to move in ASAP? Are you INSANE??? Believe it or not "willing to relocate" in my book means that given the rite set of conditions I would move somewhere else.

BadOne


Well said

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RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:53:49 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Am i the only one who gets that niggling feeling?


Greetings tazzygirl,

I believe it's inevitable that we'll put our spin on the things we read. Whether it results in a positive or negative opinion depends on other factors. In regard to relocation, I view it as their public assertion of a (supposed) willingness to move given the right circumstances. I include the caveat because I consider it a blanket statement rather than an assertion that is based upon a situation where I'm directly impacted or involved. It suggests that the author is capable of taking action but doesn't guarantee it will occur in all circumstances. As such it isn't a matter of his ability to do so, but whether he's willing to make the leap for yours truly.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:55:50 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
Jeez some of you folks are reading wayyyyyy to much into a couple simple words. My work is such that I could relocate easily. My family is another story. Also I need to be near the water for sailing. However If I ticked the relocate box it would mean that I am willing to move nothing more.

And of course everyone is like you.


I think reading nefarious reasons into a dominant wiling to relocate is absurd.  especially when most consider it fine for a submissive to say they are willing to relocate and dont blink an eye.

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:57:38 AM   
Chulain


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower
I, for example, know I won't stay in the UK, so why should it then be creepy that I would be one of the ones who is willing to relocate. It depends on the context. I will relocate either with a dom or without, so for me it is not a "might" but instead a fact.

"Willing to relocate" does not mean "I'm going to move from my present location whether or not I meet a compatible person to relocate for."

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:57:57 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I am willing to relocate to your mouth. Visiting only, or at most semi-permanent, you gotta drink a little water at some point.  

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 11:59:33 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*adores ron*

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 12:00:46 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
Jeez some of you folks are reading wayyyyyy to much into a couple simple words. My work is such that I could relocate easily. My family is another story. Also I need to be near the water for sailing. However If I ticked the relocate box it would mean that I am willing to move nothing more.

And of course everyone is like you.




But of course it's 3 simple easy to understand words. Anyone who understands English and is NOT a conspiracy theory WHACK job. Frankly the ppl that responded "other readings" give me "CREEPS"

BadOne

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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Profile   Post #: 40
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