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RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 2:47:17 PM   
soul2share


Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline 		awwww, shucks.....*blushes*

Actually, I learned the hard way....when I was married, I worked too.  It was MY money until it was in the joint checking account....then it became HIS money, and I had to justify every penny I spent.  I don't spend money on myself, I just bought 4 shirts at Wal-Mart, and they are the first new clothing items I've bought in almost two years.

I did get even tho....he went out with his buddies one night and blew thru $300...yes, three hundred dollars in bars.  When I found out, I took $300 from the account and went to the mall.....course, I spent it all on the kid, but he got the point.  Not too long after that, the end came.  After that, I decided never again would any man get his hands on my money.....period. 

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RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 2:48:16 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

I once had in my profile "old fat and ugly homebody seeking same - must be willing to relocate to me." I received lots of mail along the lines of, "before I move in, how ugly are you?" People were actually jumping on the chance to relocate... That's creepy.

Sometimes people are looking for a change of scenery..I used to move for the fun of a new place when I was younger. Different town, state and so on. Hey, 25 states and numerous towns later I feel I've sown my oats in that department and have but one move left.

Nothing has to be creepy about it unless a person wants to perceive it that way.

Sometimes a person might feel they're becoming too complacent.
They just might be the adventurous type like myself.

I have relocated on occasion and found it a romantic gesture. Since my priority is the relationships health and the people in it..I've just never seen anything wrong with it..





Definitely! It wasn't the willingness to relocate that I found creepy, just the assumption of moving right in on the first initial email sent to me, and the eagerness in which it was presented. The profile wasn't 8 hours old and there were 50 offers to move right in. I was genuinely surprised. Granted, I imagine a majority of those offers weren't legitimate. How could they be? It would boggle my mind to really contemplate the notion of that many people willing to move in to my home, sight unseen - without even knowing if my previous incarnation was as Cerberus or Circe.

I've posted this elsewhere, but one of my own little quirks is a compulsive need to move every 6 months or year. I completely understand the urge to start fresh elsewhere. I've been willing to relocate in the past and I genuinely believe there are (as I posted previously) lots of reasons for someone to have willing to relocate in their profile. However, just because I don't automatically look askance at anyone willing to relocate, I'm not out there telling total strangers 'dive right in baby, the water's fine' either. Those banging on my proverbial door already in their swim trunks and snorkels - ARE kinda creepy.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 1/28/2011 2:51:56 PM >

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RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 2:50:12 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Guy had been out half the night with the boys.
Goes to open the door, it is yanked out of his hand by the wife, frying pan ready in her crossed arms .
Where the hell you been?, she says. 
Out. says he
How much of that $100 I gave you did you spend.
Oh, I dunno, maybe about a hundre----80 dollars-- I suppose?
You spent it all!!!! What would you do if I went out with the girls and spent $100?
Well, how the hell could you spend a $100, bitch?  You don't drink, You don't smoke, You got your OWN pussy...



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RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 3:03:40 PM   
Chulain


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Nothing has to be creepy about it unless a person wants to perceive it that way.

Or there's the alternative: it actually is creepy.

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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 3:46:42 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

You're jumping on him over nothing.



Heh.... some might call that in itself, creepy.

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 3:50:30 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

Nothing has to be creepy about it unless a person wants to perceive it that way.


I'd call it adventurous.


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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Profile   Post #: 66
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 3:51:21 PM   
Charles6682


Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline 		I like living here in Florida.With the rare exception of any very special Domme,I have a feeling I will be staying here for quite awhile.The other exception is if I go to New York state for the summer.Otherwise,I like the year round sunshine and warm weather all year round as well.

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RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 4:17:40 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

You're jumping on him over nothing.

Heh.... some might call that in itself, creepy.

I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking that.

Chulain, why do you seem so determined to find a willingness to relocate creepy?

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Sthetic on FetLife.




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Profile   Post #: 68
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 4:25:21 PM   
Chulain


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
Chulain, why do you seem so determined to find a willingness to relocate creepy?

I have not been the target of an overly early "I am willing to relocate," but I have been the target of an overly early use of words like "boyfriend" and "soul mate." Tagging oneself as "willing to relocate" seems to put too much emphasis on that one factor. But I will acknowledge that the mere fact of the checkbox per se is not creepy. But the undercurrent I (and seemingly others) perceive (you can use "infer" if you like) is a bit off-putting. Fetlife doesn't have a "willing to relocate" checkbox, you know.

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RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 4:29:09 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: soul2share

do I care?....hell, no.

course you do You care about yourself, an aspect sometimes some folks forget too often to do, which is great


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RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 4:30:09 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe she's being cautious to avoid freeloaders. Just because someone says they can work from anywhere doesn't make it true. Anyone can say they have $10,000 saved to last until they find employment. People can, and often do lie.

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Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


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(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
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RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 4:34:07 PM   
Chulain


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
People can, and often do lie.

Oh, thou cynical vixen.

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Profile   Post #: 72
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 4:46:00 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain

I have not been the target of an overly early "I am willing to relocate," but I have been the target of an overly early use of words like "boyfriend" and "soul mate." Tagging oneself as "willing to relocate" seems to put too much emphasis on that one factor. But I will acknowledge that the mere fact of the checkbox per se is not creepy. But the undercurrent I (and seemingly others) perceive (you can use "infer" if you like) is a bit off-putting. Fetlife doesn't have a "willing to relocate" checkbox, you know.

That would be because Fetlife is explicitly not a hook-up site, and the profile side of CM explicitly is - what's your point?

Tagging oneself as 'willing to relocate' is one tiny part of a profile - one of a thousand different things a person can tick or select a level of interest in or choose from a drop-down list. How is that putting emphasis on anything? Just because you've met some creepily overenthusiastic people doesn't mean everyone who checks a box saying there's not much tying them to their current location is inherently creepy.

What does being willing to move house eventually for the right person have to do with someone calling themself your boyfriend prematurely, anyway? You're lumping in all sorts of different things together that are irrelevant. 'Willing to relocate' could mean any kind of timeframe and any kind of commitment level - you're assuming all sorts of things that really don't match up with the realities the men on this thread have given you - just because they *can* move doesn't mean they'll be shipping their stuff to some random woman's house next friday having never met her before.

Way to overreact to three words on a profile.

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(in reply to Chulain)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 4:49:40 PM   
Chulain


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
That would be because Fetlife is explicitly not a hook-up site, and the profile side of CM explicitly is - what's your point?

My point is that people use Fetlife as a hookup site. What's your point, snarkasaurus rex?

quote:

Way to overreact to three words on a profile.

Oh, yeah, the overreacting is up to 11.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 4:55:38 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I've been saying for years that I had been in mind to move from Queensland woth the possibility of a move to either the US or Canada(preferred overseas move) the bonus is that there are a couple of girls we would meet on a visit to Canada first and who have for some time wished to meet us with the view of something happening. However judging on commercial aspects i have been brooding over it sounds like a Move to the south and start a large Walnut/black truffle farm in NW Tasmania. (Aust).  I would expect suitable people to be willing to relocate to me (Following a meeting and a stay on our farm first) at my expense with a work contract for them guaranteeing their income. Our reasons are simple, we wish to expand our canine family and start breeding Alaskan malamutes in a cooler clime where they can enjoy snow part of the year and both our health will be better off there too. besides which I am in a state of constant war readiness in cities which I detest being a country lad in heart and by birth. At this time I have two businesses running after the recent launch of our latest which we are taking international in the next couple of weeks and both will thrive no matter where we are. Thus personally and financially we are set for the right move to a new start and healthier location.. Time alone will tell if this is the right move for the acquisition of slaves or not but regardless, we can and will still maintain our Victorian Lifestyle.


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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 5:34:34 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo


What happens if you find a couple weeks or months later ... you don't even like each other? Or one has a side you didn't even know about?


But surely any long term relationship has the porential for that to happen?
I happen to think that choice itself is a culture bound system and that we define our expectations actually within the limiys of choice...even with what we would define as a no limits relationship
The limits are consent and anyone can walk out the back jack.
Another cultural take on this of course is the arranged marriage where there are no such expectations. Rather more that love and acceptance will grow as what preempts that is commitment.
Arrangement is a very cool cultural option and one which is closer to sight-unseen-slavery or indeed Master/slave Mistress/slave. Agree that on one side there are no grounds for finding fault and there you have it. women leaving their mother's house and going with their betrothed for life is a cultural aspect of gypsy tradition, inherited from both Rumania and India. Compared to which a relocation involving choice and a hippety skip up the motorway pales into insignificance.


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Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
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To my stalker:
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RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 5:36:09 PM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline 		Quick reply:

I was willing to relocate and did. I moved across the county with a small child. I always knew that realistically to find the right match and to not have to "settle", I would likely have to move. I think people these days need to be more open to the idea whether it be for a relationship or a job opportunity. Sometimes you have to move. I don't think willing to relocate means anything beyond willing to relocate in most cases. These days so many professions and businesses can function remotely that it makes sense that people can more freely move around now than say even 10-15 years ago.

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RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 5:39:02 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		The premise behind this thread is decidedly sexist. No one seems to have an issue with a Domme's willingness to relocate.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 1/28/2011 5:42:17 PM >

(in reply to BeingChewsie)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 5:41:24 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

Quick reply:

I was willing to relocate and did. I moved across the county with a small child. I always knew that realistically to find the right match and to not have to "settle", I would likely have to move. I think people these days need to be more open to the idea whether it be for a relationship or a job opportunity. Sometimes you have to move. I don't think willing to relocate means anything beyond willing to relocate in most cases. These days so many professions and businesses can function remotely that it makes sense that people can more freely move around now than say even 10-15 years ago.

Invariably true. Willing to relocate on a site such as this conveys a negative stfgma whereas willing to relocate on a Job Resume carries positive stigma????

_____________________________

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

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Profile   Post #: 79
RE: "Willing to relocate" - 1/28/2011 5:41:56 PM   
Chulain


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
The premise behind this thread is decidedly sexist.

Perhaps you could elaborate.

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 80
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