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Online Play? - 1/29/2011 4:08:16 AM

Darktra151

Posts: 46
Joined: 1/22/2011
Status: offline

Online Play.. is it worth it? From my experience online play can be a great way to expend some kinky energy. Its purely based in fantasy and that can be both good and bad but is it really worth it. On one hand you get to be kinky without the hassle of travel and its close to home. But other the one your not there. Everything you have a submissive do , he is doing to himself. The only pressure he is under is that of a web cam person and the clock on the wall. Its missing that in person interaction which is the best. Also can you really trust what the other says and does. As soon as soon signs off they could go and do whatever they want.. No matter your agreement is. It happens in real life d/s roles as well but the fact that ur play is online has to make it easier. So what do u think. Is online play really worth the energy? Is it based on the situation the ppl are in?

Post #: 1

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 4:34:05 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

All other things being equal, I prefer RL hands down. But I eased into D/s with online years ago, and there are some who are not able to do RL (vanilla spouse, cannot find a local partner, etc.)

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Darktra151)

Post #: 2

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 4:45:07 AM

kdsusa7894

Posts: 193
Joined: 12/19/2010
Status: offline

I'm not sure if it's worth it in the long run but I have heard of some long-standing relationships on here that started online and are now RL, so maybe it is. Personally, I'm glad I started my learning online due to the fact I would have jumped in with both feet if I had a local scene, which would have been foolhardy at best and very dangerous as I had no knowledge of BDSM. As a learning tool is it worth it - definately. As a starting point for a LTR - seems to happen sometimes so I would have to say yeah. I would prefer RL also but not an option at this point, but as a starting point to something that is, I think it's worth it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val To Aqua- Thanks!
Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I'm yours forever...

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 3

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 4:54:10 AM

diaperslave101

Posts: 28
Joined: 6/19/2010
Status: offline

As a sub/slave the problem for me is that online situations are too "voluntary". Obedience is not enforceable, and punishment is not possible unless it is by cutting off contact. I have tried this and I always found online Dom/Dommes to be inexperienced and unable to exert any influence or pressure, and when you know that any threat is an empty threat it all seems so pointless. Even if the "force" you to give your real name and address, there is no way to prove that it is for real anyway.

Just my 0.02 worth from my own experience.

(in reply to kdsusa7894)

Post #: 4

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 5:00:22 AM

preytolife

Posts: 138
Joined: 11/29/2010
From: LaLa Land
Status: offline

I think it does depend on the situation people are in. I normally find it intensely unsatisfying, I avoid it and have nothing good to say about people who are exclusively online through their own choice.... However, needs are needs... When I'm single and alone 3+ months I start getting antsy and I'm craving some kind of D/s to a point where I'm not acting normally and my mind isn't in the right place. When I get to that point, if I can find a nice connection online a good online or phone session will hold me over in a pinch... or if they're really good I'll be even more out of my mind.

_____________________________

"No man is so good as to be free from all evil, nor so bad as to be worth nothing." - Norse Proverb

(in reply to kdsusa7894)

Post #: 5

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 5:04:45 AM

Whenready

Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline

I have found it worth it. Others on these forums have disagreed. What you put in you tend to get out. Face to face is immediate - but unless you have 24/7 then what's to stop the sub doing as they choose when you go to work? Swings and roundabouts. If you both work at it and communicate well with each other - it stands a decent chance of working.

(in reply to diaperslave101)

Post #: 6

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 5:24:14 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

i've always wondered how online D/s and scening work. i've never done either myself. for some it can be very fulfilling if they make a great connection with someone far away. i don't know if it would work for me, though.

(in reply to Whenready)

Post #: 7

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 5:45:47 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I think it has a place and is a good place to start. It was a good way for me to become accustomed to things in the beginning. I have had situations where the person on the other end was getting into it and I wasn't so much, and I was pretty much slacking off on what he wanted me to do. Obviously he didnt know it and couldn't tell since we weren't on cam or anything, and in the end it pretty much destroyed any submissive feelings I had for him. I think once I went there - blowing off what I was told to do - I couldn't really get back to where I was before.

Knowing how that happened I'd be very careful if I were to do anything online with someone that mattered to me, and I'd be more communicative if I wasn't up for it for some reason - people floating around in the background or what have you. In other words, unless I planned on truly following every direction, I wouldn't put myself in the situation of being tempted to rebel because it wouldn't be a worthy way to treat someone I really did respect. If I honestly wasn't ready to get innocent vegetables and put them to nefarious purposes, it wouldn't serve any purpose except a destructive one to say I was doing it while I was actually filing my nails.

Been there, done that - online was ultimately unfulfilling for me and kind of tawdry. RL has an honesty and transparency that makes the whole D/s thing worthwhile for me. It's like comparing a comic book to life. The comic book has a place for light entertainment but life is infinitely more desirable. Being with someone in real time is raw, gritty, immediate and powerful. You get smells, touch, and sounds. You can't run from it. Online can be halfhearted and pale. If it's all you have I guess it's better than nothing but there's really no comparison in the end.

(in reply to Darktra151)

Post #: 8

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 7:29:22 AM

Chulain

Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darktra151
Online Play.. is it worth it?

Yes.

(in reply to Darktra151)

Post #: 9

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 7:46:32 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

As soon as your sub leaves your sight, they could go do what they want and to hell with you. How are you going to prevent that barring keeping them handcuffed to you 24/7?

The biggest sex organ is the brain. If you can't stimulate that, it doesn't matter what you do to a person. If you can, then great.

Plus going by your narrow minded thinking, military personnel should automatically be divorced if they are deployed. Because really, how can they trust their spouse to be loyal and to keep up doing what they agreed would be best for the family?

If you don't like it, then don't do it. But making pronouncements that it can't work for anyone else is really sophomoric.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Chulain)

Post #: 10

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 7:59:49 AM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darktra151

Online Play.. is it worth it?

Online play can certianly be a lot of fun. And there is nothing wrong with it. I would venture to guess that most (my personal opion from what I have experienced) people tend to start out online. So if this is something you like, then do not deny yourself.

I cannot say that I enjoy online. In fact I do not do online. But that I think is more due to my experience in the lifestyle. After a while the desire to play becomes more physical and driving in nature. Once experiencing true sub space real time the desire for online completely disappeared for me. Its like tasting the forbidden fruit, once you have had it, nothing else will satisfy your hunger.

< Message edited by mummyman321 -- 1/29/2011 8:00:31 AM >

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to Darktra151)

Post #: 11

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 8:18:27 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

To Me, it's not even worth the time. I'd much rather play at home, at events, or parties. Ripping off the old coke slogan here. Ain't nothing like the real thing.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 12

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 8:26:52 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darktra151

Online Play.. is it worth it? From my experience online play can be a great way to expend some kinky energy. Its purely based in fantasy and that can be both good and bad but is it really worth it. On one hand you get to be kinky without the hassle of travel and its close to home. But other the one your not there. Everything you have a submissive do , he is doing to himself. The only pressure he is under is that of a web cam person and the clock on the wall. Its missing that in person interaction which is the best. Also can you really trust what the other says and does. As soon as soon signs off they could go and do whatever they want.. No matter your agreement is. It happens in real life d/s roles as well but the fact that ur play is online has to make it easier. So what do u think. Is online play really worth the energy? Is it based on the situation the ppl are in?

For me... no.. its a waste of time...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to Darktra151)

Post #: 13

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 8:30:11 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

Starting with the trust issue... As Des noted, the same problem exists with Carol who lives with me in a retired state 24x7 in a 650 square foot apartment. Even then she is not in my sight 24/7. God only knows what she gets up to on the way to the grocery store. My answer to that is that you shouldn't be in ANY sort of relationship where you don't trust your partner.

To the "pressure" statement, what pressure is Carol under other than the pressure of my dominant personality on her submissive one? I tell her to do stuff and she does because not doing so would ... well... it's just not done. Why would any online slave I picked act any differently?

To the play thing, I've done online but never considered it "play". The mental/emotional aspects of D/s carry just fine over the wire. If you're into S/m though, that's not going to happen long distance.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Darktra151)

Post #: 14

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 8:34:53 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Online Play.. is it worth it?

If the people involved are enjoying themselves, then it sure is.

quote:

Its purely based in fantasy

I disagree. It's only 'based in fantasy' if those involved wish it to be based in fantasy. It can be as real as those involved make it.

quote:

Its missing that in person interaction which is the best

Who says it's the best? Just because you think real time is the best does not mean that everyone else does too.

quote:

Also can you really trust what the other says and does.

Some people can, some people can't. Again, it's only what those involved make it out to be, and that includes 'trust' in the other person.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to Darktra151)

Post #: 15

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 10:54:03 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline

it is worth it i am living with master as a result of an online m/s relationship.

however for it to work well youahve to trust the person you submittted to very deeply and they ahve to trust you as well. the dom ahs to know you have a true submission to him and you have to feel it deeply. once this happens then the dom knows the sub is doing as asked etc. sms is an essential aid here. but yes you cant beat hands on so to speak but not everyone ahs access to rl M/s relatonship..

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 16

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 2:06:59 PM

weird123m

Posts: 23
Joined: 8/20/2010
Status: offline

From my own experience I prefer to start online. I think online is a great way to flesh out how well any potential companions would mesh. And once you have a deep trust and commitment it eliminates some of the awkwardness that is a face to face meeting.

(in reply to phoenixmoonn13)

Post #: 17

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 6:03:23 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

i started online in tx before i went to my first event. it was good as i have a good imagination. compared to the real play theres no comparison real play is better. as for being deployed being able to go online and chat while in afganistain was a great comfort to me as it was all i could do there.

_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to weird123m)

Post #: 18

RE: Online Play? - 1/29/2011 10:48:07 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

quote:

Is online play really worth the energy?

In general, not to me. I see online as an adjunct to make initial contact, exchange checklists and face pictures, then it is on to a phone conversation and if that goes well, a meet-n-greet to see if there's in-person chemistry. After a real-time scene, I will use email for follow-up feedback and writing assignments but if my partner can't serve in person often enough to fulfill my hands-on needs, I need a different partner!

< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 1/29/2011 10:52:43 PM >

(in reply to Darktra151)

Post #: 19

RE: Online Play? - 1/30/2011 2:32:59 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
To Me, it's not even worth the time. I'd much rather play at home, at events, or parties. Ripping off the old coke slogan here. Ain't nothing like the real thing.

So you and clip don't ever play online when he's been deployed?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 20

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