RE: Never Lied? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

Ishtarr -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 4:04:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

what if i lie and say I'm being honest?

what if i say baby you give the best blow jobs when in fact they are only mediocre but you're the only one around and I want one?

what subbie doesn't want to believe she gives the beast blow jobs/



Why on Earth would you even bother lying about something like that?
If you want more blowjobs, they're at least good enough, mediocre or not... if they weren't good enough you wouldn't be wanting them.

Flattering a sub and telling her the blowjobs she gives are the best when they are not is counter productive, because she'll stop trying to improve.

Either way, the only one person getting a disadvantage from a lie like that is the guy himself.



osf -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 4:14:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

what if i lie and say I'm being honest?

what if i say baby you give the best blow jobs when in fact they are only mediocre but you're the only one around and I want one?

what subbie doesn't want to believe she gives the beast blow jobs/



Why on Earth would you even bother lying about something like that?
If you want more blowjobs, they're at least good enough, mediocre or not... if they weren't good enough you wouldn't be wanting them.

Flattering a sub and telling her the blowjobs she gives are the best when they are not is counter productive, because she'll stop trying to improve.

Either way, the only one person getting a disadvantage from a lie like that is the guy himself.


someday I'll have to tell you the story about the frog and the scorpion



StrongSpirit -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 4:15:58 PM)

quote:

ed as "in your adult life... from the age of majority onwards wherever you happen to live..."

- Have there been times in your past where you've failed to measure up to your own ethical standards for yourself?
- In your mind, can you lie by telling the truth (in other words, is all deception lying)?
- In your mind, is there some special ritual ...


I do lie. And Deceive. And I fail to measure up to my own ethical standards. I don't use rituals for my words, if I say it I mean it.

But not to women I care about. If I lie to you, that means I have no interest in seeing you again. A woman I will see again will eventually figure out the truth/catch me in a lie/deception and it is not worth it. But if I don't want to see you again, then I will lie. Note, I am looking for a Long Term Relationship, so I haven't lied to a woman in a long time (aside from white lies told to end a relationship).

There are three major ways I know of to deceive without lieing:

1. Tell the truth in such a way that you will be misinterpreted: "I have been a Dungeon Master for 20 years (ever since I bought Advanced Dungeons and Dragon books)

2. Arrange for someone to speak that believes the lie. There is a reason why Presidents have Press Secretaries.

3. Tell the truth in such a way that no one will believe you: Masochists can easily pull off a "Yeah, I liked that about as much as a punch in the face."

I don't count any of these as lieing, but I do count them as deceiving.



Icarys -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 4:16:59 PM)

I took it as a joke Ishtarr.

Side note: New Hampshire..Who knew? I'm slightly impressed with what I saw on your link..could it be true? Government officials who actually care about what the public says? :>



BlackTigerDragon -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 4:24:59 PM)

Everyone has lied. Someone who says that they have 'never' lied is totally up themselves and it is a massive turn off.
I honestly will not talk to anyone who says they have 'never lied'.
What bullshit!



DomImus -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 4:31:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
Everyone lies.
Those who say they don't are...lying.


Yep. Everyone lies. You don't want someone in your life who lies all the time nor do you want someone who lies about important things but everyone does it.

If some tells you "I never lie" and does the total honesty dance - that's the motherfucker you should never trust.




FukinTroll -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 4:32:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon

Everyone has lied. Someone who says that they have 'never' lied is totally up themselves and it is a massive turn off.
I honestly will not talk to anyone who says they have 'never lied'.
What bullshit!



What if... hypothetically... I had the same problem as Pinocchio?



Ishtarr -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 4:37:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

Side note: New Hampshire..Who knew? I'm slightly impressed with what I saw on your link..could it be true? Government officials who actually care about what the public says? :>



Moving in a couple of months now.
And the FSP is actually making trackable progress in several places... but if you'd like to discuss that more, drop me a mail as to not to derail this topic.



sexyred1 -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 4:47:37 PM)

Everyone lies. If they say they don't, they are lying.

You have to lie. I am in sales and to be successful you have to evangelize whatever it is your are selling and that sometimes expresses itself as a lie (yes, our company/product/service is the best, ever!)

You have to lie when you go on job interviews. No matter how amazing you are, when they say why did you leave your last job, it would not be prudent to say, I hated my boss and wanted him to die, so instead you lie and say, the corporate culture was not in sync with my skillset and experience.

You have to lie to spare feelings sometimes. Or you have to lie to get through a social situation (an old friend walked into my nail salon and I hate her, but she was over the top all over me so I had to do the whole air kiss thing and say, Oh yes, you look fabulous as well, even though I wanted to stab her in the eye with the nail scissors).

You don't have to lie to people you love and you probably should not, but we all do.

Then there are small lies, white lies, huge lies, lies that destroy all trust, lies that are vaguely deceiving, lies that are imaginative, etc.

As far as I am concerned? The most important person who I should never lie to, is myself.




Icarys -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 4:54:44 PM)

quote:

Moving in a couple of months now.
And the FSP is actually making trackable progress in several places... but if you'd like to discuss that more, drop me a mail as to not to derail this topic.


I'll check it out for myself a little more but thanks for the offer.



DomImus -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 4:55:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
In your mind, can you lie by telling the truth (in other words, is all deception lying)?


No and no.

The other day a gentleman stopped in front of my apartment building. He was interested in the vacant apartment across the street. I was outside getting out of my car having just returned home. He asked me "Is this a quiet street?". I could have replied "Yes, sir this is a quiet street." and that would have been a truthful answer to his question. It is a generally quiet street.

I instead replied "Sir, my apartment was broken into five months ago, I am moving out shortly at the end of my lease term and I carry a loaded handgun with me at all times.". At that point I turned sideways so that he could see the loaded 9mm resting in the crook of my left elbow. Unsurprisingly, he thanked me and beat a hasty retreat out of the neighborhood.

The first answer did not tell him the whole story - it was a truthful yet deceptive. It was not a lie. A lie is a lie. The truth is the truth even if it is not the whole truth we hear about in our courts of law. Hell, you cannot even tell the whole truth in a court of law even though you take an oath to do so. You can only answer the questions truthfully as they are posed to you. And they are sometimes posed to elicit a truthful deception from you.





SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 5:15:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

- Have there been times in your past where you've failed to measure up to your own ethical standards for yourself?


Yes. 

quote:

- In your mind, can you lie by telling the truth (in other words, is all deception lying)?


Yes.  Lies of omission are still lies.

quote:

- In your mind, is there some special ritual that is required before it becomes "your word"?


"I promise" (or "I swear") is a magical phrase in my world.  I will not be foresworn so I don't offer promises lightly.  I don't ask for promises lightly either, and it's a Very Bad Idea to be foresworn with me.

quote:

So going with the assumption that the "I never lie" folks aren't lying, delusional, or perfect human beings, I have to assume I'm just not seeing the statements from the correct viewpoint. Can someone enlighten me?


I won't lie to someone with whom I'm in an intimate relationship - spouse, friends, submmissives...doesn't matter.  In that sense, I can say "I never lie" and mean it.  It's a violation of trust that is intolerable to me.  I won't do it and I expect my partner(s) to uphold the same values.  The fastest way to earn a one-way express ticket out of my life with extreme prejudice is to lie to me. 
 
However, that doesn't mean I won't lie to other people with whom I am not involved.  I don't like doing it and don't do it often, but I have done it and I will probably do it again in the future. 



IrishMist -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 5:37:44 PM)

quote:

Have there been times in your past where you've failed to measure up to your own ethical standards for yourself?

Yes
quote:

is all deception lying

This one is hard for me because on one hand, I equate LYING with something that is WRONG and not to be done. But on the other hand, I have knowingly DECEIVED others before with the intent to stop danger or harm from occuring, which in my mind, is not wrong.
For me, it all comes down to what was the REASON behind the deception/lie, and how do I feel about it, and how does it affect not only me, but those closest to me.
I know that most will say it's a black or white area, but for me, it's not. There are too many shades of grey that get in the way to say with absolute certaintly that deception or lying is ALL WRONG and should NEVER be done.
And yes, before it's asked, I CAN and have forgiven a lie/deception before, and can do so in the future, depending on the reason behind it.
quote:

In your mind, is there some special ritual that is required before it becomes "your word"?

Using the phraise 'I give you my word', to me, is like stating a promise. I never make promises. And when I say never, I mean never, not since I learned that promises CAN AND WILL BE BROKEN, no matter that a person tries very hard to not break them. It's ineveitable that they be broken.

I have however, used the phrase 'I promise that I will try my hardest to......". Which, can also be said this way 'I give you my word that I will try my hardest to ....."
When stated that way, yes it leaves a lot of loopholes for failure, but it also says that I realize I am human, and as a human, I sometimes can NOT accomplish what I want done, in a way that I want done, so that someone else can be satisfied. It allows me to do my absolute hardest to attempt to do what I said I would. The same goes for anyone else. I have very little faith in a person who 'makes promises' simply because I know, from experience, that promises CAN AND WILL be broken through no fault of theirs or mine.
Extreme yes, but it's how I have always looked at things.



DarkSteven -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 5:47:51 PM)

Wow.

I have no compunction whatsoever about lying if the objective is not to deliberately mislead.  I have lied to tease, to banter, and I have a weird habit of making stuff up when I talk to infants and animals.  I just refuse to be contained by reality at times.

Sometimes at work I will take a situation, and apply judgment regarding what to convey and what to leave out.  It saves time and makes my presentation clearer.  It also makes my point stronger than perhaps it should be.  And if I screw up, I'll fix it and not bother to tell others if I can.

Manners dictates not being completely up front about everything.




Jeffff -> RE: Never Lied? (2/9/2011 8:22:49 PM)

FR...

Anyone who says they have always measured up to their personal standards, probably has VERY low expectations of themselves.



osf -> RE: Never Lied? (2/10/2011 5:59:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

FR...

Anyone who says they have always measured up to their personal standards, probably has VERY low expectations of themselves.



I have none, so it's easy



Icarys -> RE: Never Lied? (2/10/2011 6:18:34 AM)

quote:

I have none, so it's easy

[:D]



osf -> RE: Never Lied? (2/10/2011 6:23:22 AM)

and what real man doesn't enjoy sex more that was obtained under subterfuge?



poise -> RE: Never Lied? (2/10/2011 6:29:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

and what real man doesn't enjoy sex more that was obtained under subterfuge?

While I'm no man, real or otherwise, I would think sex would be most enjoyable
when the attraction is authentic, not comprised of smoke and mirrors.
Wouldn't the ability to only get laid because you lied damage your ego?



Kana -> RE: Never Lied? (2/10/2011 6:38:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

and what real man doesn't enjoy sex more that was obtained under subterfuge?


Raises hand.
I have this wild idea that I want women who want me, for me, as I am, as who I am.
Something to do with integrity and common decency.

Crazy, ain't it.



Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875