hausboy
Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline
|
TFB:
You know that I am very supportive of your personal efforts to improve yourself--but I am going to gently echo some of the recent posts here.
You are the master of excuses of why you can't instead of why you can.
My father was a Disability Claims Examiner for the Social Security Administration for about 35 years.There are people out there who are too incapacitated to work--since we've never met, there's no way of knowing if you fit in that category. There are others who decide that no matter what life throws at them, they will find a way to be a part of the workforce and make a contribution that way. Some have debilitating physical limitations--usually people who are in such extreme pain or have other conditions that will simply not allow them to work in an office setting or in a more physical job. Others have emotional or mental conditions--depending on the severity and condition--some can work, some cannot. Even those who don't work can offer some contribution to society.
My entire life--it seemed like everyone was bent on telling me what I couldn't do. All the dreams a kid has--it seemed like the whole damn world did nothing but piss in my oatmeal. I was too small....too weak....too dumb...too scared....too incapable....too dependent....too poor.....too sick....too neurotic....I could go on and on and on.
The really sick part is that for the longest time, I bought right into it. I was *king* of the excuses. I had a million of 'em, and as soon as anyone had an idea to help me, out came some brilliant excuses. I've made almost all of my dreams come true. A few I had to let go of, but I gave it everything I had. But I had to stop with the excuses and take charge of my life.
Every single time you make an excuse why you can't do something, you are making a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can already hear you typing your excuse in response to that...yes, I can....I can hear you!
Just stop.
Stop and listen.
Right out of college, I had a housemate who was also out of work. We both had very similar situations--both of us had college degrees, little to no money and no job. we both suffered from severe depression, PTSD and anxiety disorders. While we both qualified--She opted to go on disability. I did not. Every day, I got up at 8:00 am, picked up a newspaper, cut out at least 3 ads, typed a cover letter on my old electric typewriter--grabbed a resume of my pile--and I mailed or faxed them off (this was before email). Once my "daily's" were out, I hit the pavement. First to the unemployment office to look at the job board, and then off to various businesses to see if anyone had a help wanted sign. No job too small or menial. No job too big.
Even on days when I felt so depressed I could barely move--I actually HURT from depression--somehow I managed to get up and do my search.
Annette (my housemate) slept in bed until about 11 or noon. She would look at the paper that I'd leave in the kitchen. No job was good enough. Or paid enough. Or close enough. She had nothing but excuses. She'd go have her daily coffee. Hang out all day in a cafe. Come home and commiserate with me about being unemployed, and how it sucks to be disabled.
It took me about a month, but I finally landed a job. I was about to give up and went to the govt office to put in my application for assistance--I saw a line and asked what it was for. The woman behind the counter said: "that's not for you. you don't want that. it's minimum wage." I told her flat out--it's a job. And a few days later, I was hired. It wasn't my career path, but at least I wasn't lying in bed feeling sorry for myself. The job? we were like employees from the factory of misfit toys--some of us were addicts in early recovery, some were newly released from jail.....many could barely speak English (a few spoke no English)-- some had no job skills at all--a few had no people skills whatsoever--we were essentially people that no other job wanted. It was a crappy job...and strangely bonding.
My housemate was furious. She flew into a rage--she had been unemployed for over a year--and I managed to find a job in a month! She was smarter than me....older than me...she came right out and said it--"I'm better than you....this shouldn't happen!" I asked her--"do you want me to get you a job too? we still have openings" And out came all the excuses why she couldn't take a job there. It came down to this--she was her own biggest obstacle. The world was not going to throw her a big pity party because she deserved better. She was all excuses, no action.
I know it's hard to get a job these days. And it's harder when you have physical and/or emotional challenges to overcome. Obstacles and challenges should never be used as your excuses. There are folks out there who have it much worse off than I do...and probably much worse off than you do, too. Take a deep breath, put it all in perspective, and make it your number one priority to succeed, regardless of how many tries it takes. Get to the gym. get out and volunteer. take a look at any classes offered in your community--some counties have programs for folks looking for work. It doesn't matter. Do something. Start taking charge of your own life.
Until you believe that you can do it, you will continue to believe all of the excuses that you tell yourself.
Accept no excuses from yourself. I mean it.
big hugs.
|
RE: I got a job interview on monday! - 
Profile
I understand your point. I didn't read it that way, just that she did not qualify because she did not have that level of disability ...an either/or. 
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread