quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Rather than a punishment dynamic, I prefer to have an Education Program. I believe that if a girl screws up, the problem may rest in plart with me for not spending the necessary time in training or explaining what is required or I failed to verify that she has completely understood. My answer is to retrain as well as explaining why some things need be done the way I expect or why they need to be done at all. I simply refuse to fall, back on the "Because I said so," reason or even "Because I can". Even in some cases which may be attention seeking, I prefer to issue additional tasks of an unpleasant type instead to use physical or corporal punishment. I can always remove privelages like wearing clothes in the home or remove favorite deserts from her dinner and there is the hated "Corner Time". When it comes to Corporal Punishment, I expect the girl to bed/ask if we can use this as a play basis later. She should understand that it takes little to bring out my inner Sadist.

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

The question is this: i understand that some, not all s-types feel the need for punishment to feel forgiven or to move on from a incident where they might have been displeasing and that having a way to "atone" is important to them, However from the Dominant perspective, is that why you have a punishment dynamic in your relationship, for the benefit of the s-type, so that they can get that sense of atonement or is there some additional reason? ie. What do you as the Dominant get out of having a punishment dynamic in your relationship and would you have one if the s-type didn't "need" one?

Part of the reason for my question is this. In the two relationships that i personally know that have a punishment dynamic in place, in one the "slaves" are so disobedient and manipulative, it seems to be the only way to keep them in line. In the other, it seems to be in place or rather is used when the D-type is upset about something and, in my opinion, takes that upset out of his slave, blaming her. So in my opinion, neither of those instances is a "good" example of a punishment dynamic. So that is why i am asking on here.

Thank you in advance for your responses,
heartfelt

quote:

ORIGINAL: ImaginativeWhims
There's no "right" and "wrong" where we travel as long as SSC is being observed, but we do all have our specific tastes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Not wanting to derail IW's thread, an additional punishment question came up, not only from that thread, but also from a conversation with a Dominant friend of mine the other day. Although i know a lot of people on here don't have a punishment dynamic, my question is directed more at the Dominant member of those relationships that do have a punishment dynamic, but as is the case anyone can answer.

The question is this: i understand that some, not all s-types feel the need for punishment to feel forgiven or to move on from a incident where they might have been displeasing and that having a way to "atone" is important to them, However from the Dominant perspective, is that why you have a punishment dynamic in your relationship, for the benefit of the s-type, so that they can get that sense of atonement or is there some additional reason? ie. What do you as the Dominant get out of having a punishment dynamic in your relationship and would you have one if the s-type didn't "need" one?

quote:

Part of the reason for my question is this. In the two relationships that i personally know that have a punishment dynamic in place, in one the "slaves" are so disobedient and manipulative, it seems to be the only way to keep them in line.

quote:

In the other, it seems to be in place or rather is used when the D-type is upset about something and, in my opinion, takes that upset out of his slave, blaming her. So in my opinion, neither of those instances is a "good" example of a punishment dynamic. So that is why i am asking on here.

quote:

Thank you in advance for your responses,
heartfelt

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

We have a penalty system that has always worked well. This works because I'm less likely to, for example, stay up much past my bedtime when I know that it's a stroke per minute. It only applies to a few situations where I'm likely to be tempted to stray from the *rule* due to distractions. It's a *you do that, I do this* situation. It's effective because I don't like being cold-caned and the odd time that I have got distracted and clocked up 10mins worth, I sorely regretted it. He's not angry, cross, disappointed or bothered in the least and I don't go out of my way to ecrue it, either.

We do have a punishment dynamic as well but I've only ever been punished a handful of times in years and years.

agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Rather than a punishment dynamic, I prefer to have an Education Program. I believe that if a girl screws up, the problem may rest in plart with me for not spending the necessary time in training or explaining what is required or I failed to verify that she has completely understood. My answer is to retrain as well as explaining why some things need be done the way I expect or why they need to be done at all. I simply refuse to fall, back on the "Because I said so," reason or even "Because I can". Even in some cases which may be attention seeking, I prefer to issue additional tasks of an unpleasant type instead to use physical or corporal punishment. I can always remove privelages like wearing clothes in the home or remove favorite deserts from her dinner and there is the hated "Corner Time". When it comes to Corporal Punishment, I expect the girl to bed/ask if we can use this as a play basis later. She should understand that it takes little to bring out my inner Sadist.

quote:


All of My dynamics have been punishment dynamics.  In My case, it has nothing to do with the s type needing one.  Rather, it has everything to do with what I expect to be My rights as an owner.  It gives Me the inclusion of the type of corrective action that I feel fits the infraction.  If I say that I expect obedience, but I get willful disobedience instead, where would I be if I didn't have some form of recourse?

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Not wanting to derail IW's thread, an additional punishment question came up, not only from that thread, but also from a conversation with a Dominant friend of mine the other day. Although i know a lot of people on here don't have a punishment dynamic, my question is directed more at the Dominant member of those relationships that do have a punishment dynamic, but as is the case anyone can answer.

The question is this: i understand that some, not all s-types feel the need for punishment to feel forgiven or to move on from a incident where they might have been displeasing and that having a way to "atone" is important to them, However from the Dominant perspective, is that why you have a punishment dynamic in your relationship, for the benefit of the s-type, so that they can get that sense of atonement or is there some additional reason? ie. What do you as the Dominant get out of having a punishment dynamic in your relationship and would you have one if the s-type didn't "need" one?

Part of the reason for my question is this. In the two relationships that i personally know that have a punishment dynamic in place, in one the "slaves" are so disobedient and manipulative, it seems to be the only way to keep them in line. In the other, it seems to be in place or rather is used when the D-type is upset about something and, in my opinion, takes that upset out of his slave, blaming her. So in my opinion, neither of those instances is a "good" example of a punishment dynamic. So that is why i am asking on here.

Thank you in advance for your responses,
heartfelt

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

Punishment can also work as an additional tactile form of communication between the D-type and s-type, where the expected severity of the punishment is meant to be a tangible illustration/parallel of the degree of discomfort/pain/disappointment the D-type felt when the violation was done. Sometimes the perspective and information of not just "X would be displeased with this" but also "this is what it feels like to X when this happens" is a useful system of empathy to place on the s-type in order to help correct a behavior or even just to better meld mindsets together.

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

We have a penalty system that has always worked well. This works because I'm less likely to, for example, stay up much past my bedtime when I know that it's a stroke per minute. It only applies to a few situations where I'm likely to be tempted to stray from the *rule* due to distractions. It's a *you do that, I do this* situation. It's effective because I don't like being cold-caned and the odd time that I have got distracted and clocked up 10mins worth, I sorely regretted it. He's not angry, cross, disappointed or bothered in the least and I don't go out of my way to ecrue it, either.

We do have a punishment dynamic as well but I've only ever been punished a handful of times in years and years.

agirl

Thanks for your response agirl. Is this punishment dynamic in place because it is something you need to stay obedient or whatever, or is it place because it is His desire to have it in place, meaning would you be obedient without it? Do you happen to know what if anything He gets out of having a punishment dynamic in place?

Thanks again for your response,
heartfelt

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub
Other than having some sort of recourse for disobedience, do you get something emotionally, mentally out of doing punishment?

quote:

For example, the Dominant friend of mine that i referenced in the opening post says that punishment for Him, completely separate from S/M play was in place because of the s-type's need for forgiveness and atonement and He gets some satisfaction from helping a girl improve, be a better person, that sort of thing.

quote:

i couldn't get an answer from Him about whether or not He would have a punishment dynamic in place if the s-type didn't feel that need to make atonement. So what if you were in a relationship where there was no deliberate disobedience, do you still feel the need of having a punishment dynamic and if so, is it just for as a recourse or for something else as well.

Thanks for your response,
heartfelt

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Rather than a punishment dynamic, I prefer to have an Education Program. I believe that if a girl screws up, the problem may rest in plart with me for not spending the necessary time in training or explaining what is required or I failed to verify that she has completely understood. My answer is to retrain as well as explaining why some things need be done the way I expect or why they need to be done at all. I simply refuse to fall, back on the "Because I said so," reason or even "Because I can". Even in some cases which may be attention seeking, I prefer to issue additional tasks of an unpleasant type instead to use physical or corporal punishment. I can always remove privelages like wearing clothes in the home or remove favorite deserts from her dinner and there is the hated "Corner Time". When it comes to Corporal Punishment, I expect the girl to bed/ask if we can use this as a play basis later. She should understand that it takes little to bring out my inner Sadist.

Thank you for your response. Just to qualify, what i am talking about is not "play" S/M or funishment, but actual punishment that is completely separate from play. Do you use such a thing in your relationships and if you do, do you do so because it is something that the s-type needs for whatever reason, or do you also get something out of it.

Thanks again,
heartfelt