TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (Full Version)

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YourToDeny -> TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 2:35:10 PM)

TV's, post-ops, no offense! But do you have any idea how hard it is to find a female dominant even when all of the matches are women?

Logic behind the complaint:

1. For every dominant woman there are about 25 submissive men

2a. Women unlike men have much less a need to advertise their single-ness

2b. What this means is that if we have non-women posting themselves as women, we get a disproportionate amount of men in the search - I have hidden at least a hundred men from the search (every time I see a wrongly classified page I hide it) and they are still overwhelming the submissive male's search for a dominant female. This hampers the effectiveness of the website.

2c. The reason TV's are drowning out the dominant females is that basic difference between a woman and a man - I am not telling you how to define yourself (and never will) and I say as respectfully as possible, TV's advertising as females are starting to outnumber the women on this site. The true dominant woman is a rare breed and she is rarely available. It is not fair to the submissive males to drown her out. The difference between a pseudo-female and a female is that pseudos still have that male desperation to be selected (something women don't have to worry about) so if you put your profile in that category you are putting a practical barrier between two groups of people who work hard to find each other to live the life they feel they need.

3. Moral grounds: it seems wrong for a TV to post as a dominant female and assume a position of power under false pretenses to try to manipulate submissive males who are looking for what they truly want.

4. There is a category for TV's and if submissive males are looking for them, they should know where to find them.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Again I make this protest with the utmost respect for those involved in this practice, and I mean no offense, but in this lifestyle the right Woman and the right man have a hard enough time finding each other without all the biological females being drowned out unfairly and blocked by a group that should technically be in another category.

YTD



LadyPact -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 2:37:56 PM)

Oh, this is going to be good.

Look here, cupcake.  When I stop laughing and find a way to be civil in My response, I'll be back.



BurntKitty -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 2:40:02 PM)

[sm=popcorn.gif] Anyone want popcorn?




LadyNTrainer -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 2:40:04 PM)

Do you have ANY idea how offensive it is to categorize a transgendered woman as "pseudo" or fake?  That's just disgusting and shameful, and shows a total lack of understanding of what it actually means to be transgendered (eg, actually having the brain of one sex in the body of another sex, where something went developmentally wrong in the early stages of fetal growth).   Do you also hate handicapped women?

For the record, I have two X chromosones and I would NEVER consider an ignorant bigot for any kind of personal relationship.  So you're doing your own filtering here and reducing your chances of being considered.  I am not the only female dominant who is likely to be quite offended at your attempt to call people with a medical condition "fake".  



MaamJay -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 2:41:49 PM)

*Sits back and waits for the entertainment to begin ....*

Maam Jay aka violet[A] (another one of those so-called hard to find really female Dominants!)



rulemylife -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 2:42:22 PM)

I used to have a TV but Comcast was overcharging me.



MaamJay -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 2:43:23 PM)

Says yes please to the popcorn and starts handing out Pepsi Max ...

Maam Jay aka violet[A]
(who also would be unlikely to want a bigot for a sub)



DarkSteven -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 2:46:44 PM)

So the sex education classes you took didn't explain to you that a TV is a transvestite.  Those who dress in clothes of the opposite gender.  Aside from that, no changes have taken place.

TGs are transgender.  Those who have transitioned to another gender through surgery, hormones, or a combination.  "Pre-op" means they still have their original genitals, and post-op means they don't.

As far as the rest goes - I was taught early in my career never to throw out unsupported bullshit or make up numbers.  You say that there are 25 malesubs for every female Dominant, and that you have been forced to see over a hundred male profiles who misidentified as female.  You also claim that males have a desperate need to be selected while females coolly pick their choice from the ravening hordes baying at their feet.  Obviously, you never got trained to substantiate things the way I had.

Also, you complain about the deceitful TVs/TGs who manipulate poor helpless men in some unspecified way.  Please note that anyone over the age of 18 is legally allowed to make their own choices.  If there is something in the collarme software that is coercing impressionable naive sub men into decisions against their will, I'd love to hear about it.

Okay.  All snark aside:  The search ain't easy.  For men, for women, for Dom/mes, or for subs.  Get used to it.  Use that as a life lesson that things worth attaining generally are not just handed out.



YourToDeny -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 2:46:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

Do you have ANY idea how offensive it is to categorize a transgendered woman as "pseudo" or fake?  That's just disgusting and shameful, and shows a total lack of understanding of what it actually means to be transgendered (eg, actually having the brain of one sex in the body of another sex, where something went developmentally wrong in the early stages of fetal growth).   Do you also hate handicapped women?

For the record, I have two X chromosones and I would NEVER consider an ignorant bigot for any kind of personal relationship.  So you're doing your own filtering here and reducing your chances of being considered.  I am not the only female dominant who is likely to be quite offended at your attempt to call people with a medical condition "fake".  


This is not a post against trans-gendered people its a post about playing impostor instead of being upfront. Its not political and I don't mean to be 'offensive' - some people will be offended no matter what but that still doesn't make a dominant woman and a dominant transgendered individual the same thing. I would think the dominant woman who have a hard time finding a quality reliable submissive would appreciate the help as well. I never used the word "fake" but using the word "same" would be equally disingenuous.



DCWoody -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 2:55:34 PM)

Mebe rather than mockery, actually discussing the issue would be helpful? Should trannies put themselves down as their target gender, or as trans? If the first.....only post op or pre too?
Putting on offense because people disagree with you isn't helpful.



YourToDeny -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 2:58:02 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

So the sex education classes you took didn't explain to you that a TV is a transvestite.  Those who dress in clothes of the opposite gender.  Aside from that, no changes have taken place.

TGs are transgender.  Those who have transitioned to another gender through surgery, hormones, or a combination.  "Pre-op" means they still have their original genitals, and post-op means they don't.

As far as the rest goes - I was taught early in my career never to throw out unsupported bullshit or make up numbers.  You say that there are 25 malesubs for every female Dominant, and that you have been forced to see over a hundred male profiles who misidentified as female.  You also claim that males have a desperate need to be selected while females coolly pick their choice from the ravening hordes baying at their feet.  Obviously, you never got trained to substantiate things the way I had.

Also, you complain about the deceitful TVs/TGs who manipulate poor helpless men in some unspecified way.  Please note that anyone over the age of 18 is legally allowed to make their own choices.  If there is something in the collarme software that is coercing impressionable naive sub men into decisions against their will, I'd love to hear about it.

Okay.  All snark aside:  The search ain't easy.  For men, for women, for Dom/mes, or for subs.  Get used to it.  Use that as a life lesson that things worth attaining generally are not just handed out.


I don't get into the specifications of the categories - but is there not an option when someone fills out their profile to classify themselves accurately? I'm not phobic but I do expect to find whatever it is you want to call it when the woman has the XX chromes in a search for dominant females.

As far as the dominant female submissive male ratio it is undisputed, entirely, that the dominant women have handfulls of choices. 25 males for every 1 dominant female is probably an underestimation.




Delilya -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 2:58:24 PM)

never mind



DarkSteven -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 3:06:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourToDeny

I don't get into the specifications of the categories - but is there not an option when someone fills out their profile to classify themselves accurately? I'm not phobic but I do expect to find whatever it is you want to call it when the woman has the XX chromes in a search for dominant females.

As far as the dominant female submissive male ratio it is undisputed, entirely, that the dominant women have handfulls of choices. 25 males for every 1 dominant female is probably an underestimation.



Collarme's categories are IIRC male, female, or trans.  I have always assumed that trans meant TG, although I could see a TV classifying themselves as such.  I consider CDs/TVs to simply have a specific crossdressing kink.  So I'm confused by your terms because you seem to be using a kink term to classify people's physical genders.  There are also intersexed, or hermaphrodites, those who have genitals of both genders.

I will agree with you on the surface that there are more men who self identify as sub than women who self identify as Domme.  But the 1:25 ratio strikes me as very high.  And despite that ratio, I know several Dommes who are single because they cannot find a good male match.



Nanako -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 3:07:25 PM)

I think ladypact's response sums up the feeling of most of us here, however I will answer this just for you ^^

quote:


2a. Women unlike men have much less a need to advertise their single-ness


This reads like someone who's only spent their life on the internet. Everyone who chooses to advertise here looking for a partner, probably feels some sort of need for another person in their life. Categorising them by gender is pretty insulting to everyone involved.

You should qualify your statement as "unlike desperate submissive men". There are plenty of sub guyts around here who don't have a clue how to advertise themselves, don't follow advice, and desperately demand someone to fulfil their kink. There are also quirte a few nice sub guys who understand their target market a bit more

quote:

2b. What this means is that if we have non-women posting themselves as women, we get a disproportionate amount of men in the search - I have hidden at least a hundred men from the search (every time I see a wrongly classified page I hide it) and they are still overwhelming the submissive male's search for a dominant female. This hampers the effectiveness of the website.


Everyone has their own different definition of a prospective partner. Ask yourself how many women you've passed over because you found them unattractive, or too demanding, or otherwise not suited to your tastes. TVs are simply another category of women you don't like.

quote:

2c.  It is not fair to the submissive males to drown her out. The difference between a pseudo-female and a female is that pseudos still have that male desperation to be selected (something women don't have to worry about) so if you put your profile in your category you are putting a practical barrier between two groups of people who work hard to find each other to live the life they feel they need.


This is the most insulting part. As a TV sub, I've rejected a fair few dominant guys here, and only gone for ones which I felt were most suitable for me. I've met several nice, well-rounded people on here. What about me speaks a desperation to be selected?




stellauk -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 3:13:19 PM)

Hmm. Okay. Where do we start?

First thing, you identify as a male submissive, and yet you expect everyone else to conform to your perception of how things should be.

No offense taken, but hopefully this is mutual. You've come here and put it on a message board. You're about to be educated and helped with your specific problem.

The transgendered community (not just TV's) embraces both genders. There's sex and gender. Sex is your biological natural appearance, the way you are born. Gender is genetic and predetermined in the brain in the seventh month of pregnancy, together with sexual orientation. Usually people are born with matching gender and sex identities, meaning their psychological and emotional nature matches their physical body and they are heterosexual.

But not always. There's such a thing as evolution. Humans don't have mating periods. They can breed indiscriminately. They are predisposed psychologically towards creativity. This is why sex and money are uppermost on the minds of most people. What greater act of creativity is there than sex between an man and a woman to create a new human being?

But evolution and the complex nature of gender and sex produces anomalies and a condition known as mosaicism. There's no such thing as a 100% male and 100% female. Both males and women have features and characteristics of the opposite sex, and through upbringing and child development adopt patterns of behaviour from adults and through this characteristics of gender from both male and female.

This is so to prevent the human race overbreeding and dying out.

People who identify as being transgendered, whether they are crossdressers, TVs, transsexuals, mosaics and intersexed, including sufferers of Kleinfelter's Syndrome and Turner's Syndrome, like homosexuals identify as such not through choice, but through discovery.

Nobody chooses to be homosexual, nor do they choose to be transgendered. They discover that they are. These are mental conditions, not illnesses, not deviations, they are human beings just the same as men and women and are recognised as such through the way they express their gender.

I don't see the problem as being with them, or us, as I am also TG. usually it is made clear on the profile or if not revealed to people on first contact.

They have equal right to be themselves, just like you.

Unfortunately you don't get to define science, evolution, society, culture or even how individual people express themselves. No point in expecting everybody in a community, subculture or society to change to match your expectations.

It's probably best if you change your perception to embrace the world, society and this website as it is in reality and not what you expect it to be.

This is Collarme, not Wal-Mart, e-Bay or Amazon dot com, you're dealing with individual human beings.

Why is this even an issue to you? Think about it. Transphobia and homophobia is based on rigid beliefs on gender stereotypes, sexism, and insecurity about one's own gender identity and sexual orientation.

For most people this isn't an issue. They either accept or move on. Maybe the issue here isn't the way these people are listing or identifying themselves, but your over-inflated sense of male privilege.

But please don't take this the wrong way. I wasn't meaning to oiffend, but to present the facts in candid honesty so that you might be able to learn and overcome your issues with other people.

Hope it helps.



YourToDeny -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 3:13:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourToDeny

I don't get into the specifications of the categories - but is there not an option when someone fills out their profile to classify themselves accurately? I'm not phobic but I do expect to find whatever it is you want to call it when the woman has the XX chromes in a search for dominant females.

As far as the dominant female submissive male ratio it is undisputed, entirely, that the dominant women have handfulls of choices. 25 males for every 1 dominant female is probably an underestimation.



Collarme's categories are IIRC male, female, or trans.  I have always assumed that trans meant TG, although I could see a TV classifying themselves as such.  I consider CDs/TVs to simply have a specific crossdressing kink.  So I'm confused by your terms because you seem to be using a kink term to classify people's physical genders.  There are also intersexed, or hermaphrodites, those who have genitals of both genders.

I will agree with you on the surface that there are more men who self identify as sub than women who self identify as Domme.  But the 1:25 ratio strikes me as very high.  And despite that ratio, I know several Dommes who are single because they cannot find a good male match.


I apologize for not being more familiar with the terms transgendered individuals prefer and thanks for helping clarify. It seems like you're right that CD's/TVs would be a crossdressing kink so probably the Trans category when you set up your profile means that's what you should pick if you're TG right?

I know a lot of Dommes who are single because they cannot find a good male match too. I am not in any big hurry to find that one right Lady but I feel I make a valid complaint, as only those searching for a dominant female will relate to from experience.



hlen5 -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 3:22:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay

*Sits back and waits for the entertainment to begin ....*

Maam Jay aka violet[A] (another one of those so-called hard to find really female Dominants!)


Ditto![sm=popcorn.gif] Popcorn, MaamJay?



Prinsexx -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 3:26:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourToDeny

TV's, post-ops, no offense! But do you have any idea how hard it is to find a female dominant even when all of the matches are women?

Logic behind the complaint:

1. For every dominant woman there are about 25 submissive men

2a. Women unlike men have much less a need to advertise their single-ness

2b. What this means is that if we have non-women posting themselves as women, we get a disproportionate amount of men in the search - I have hidden at least a hundred men from the search (every time I see a wrongly classified page I hide it) and they are still overwhelming the submissive male's search for a dominant female. This hampers the effectiveness of the website.

2c. The reason TV's are drowning out the dominant females is that basic difference between a woman and a man - I am not telling you how to define yourself (and never will) and I say as respectfully as possible, TV's advertising as females are starting to outnumber the women on this site. The true dominant woman is a rare breed and she is rarely available. It is not fair to the submissive males to drown her out. The difference between a pseudo-female and a female is that pseudos still have that male desperation to be selected (something women don't have to worry about) so if you put your profile in that category you are putting a practical barrier between two groups of people who work hard to find each other to live the life they feel they need.

3. Moral grounds: it seems wrong for a TV to post as a dominant female and assume a position of power under false pretenses to try to manipulate submissive males who are looking for what they truly want.

4. There is a category for TV's and if submissive males are looking for them, they should know where to find them.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Again I make this protest with the utmost respect for those involved in this practice, and I mean no offense, but in this lifestyle the right Woman and the right man have a hard enough time finding each other without all the biological females being drowned out unfairly and blocked by a group that should technically be in another category.

YTD

The only thing I find offensive about 'TV's, post ops, dommes and women is your ignorance about all of them.




YourToDeny -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 3:27:52 PM)

Stella,

Thanks for such an informational response - don't think I don't appreciate it. I can't say I appreciate a few others above who blatantly ignore that meaning no offense was the first thing I had to say, so thanks especially for being cordial.

I think you raise an interesting point. I agree one persons sex identity is no one else's to define but it creates an interesting paradox - is it right for the individual to impose their definition of sex onto another person? No. But is it right for the TG individual to impose their definition of sex-identity upon the community as a whole? I think its an open question.

I think there are plenty of people who are looking for TG's and various other classifications.




rick1283 -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 3:30:57 PM)

I think I see what the OP was saying, but he REALLY needs to work on his vocabulary and usage, especially if he wants a positive response.
Other than that, I'll be damned if I'm going to defend him.

I want to know, where is the line between a "fake" woman and a "real" woman?

As far as I can tell, the only things he doesn't like are the facts that:
1. They weren't born with a pussy, and he doesn't have the mental capacity of a male dog sniffing a bitch in heat.
2. He must have a Y-chromosome fetish or something (so look out ladies, he'll only like you for your cells.), and he can't get excited unless they are there.
3. Not every one wants to be upfront about their change, probably because of idiots like him who will go out of their way to insult them and degrade them for who they are, and then turn around and say something like, "Oh! Whats wrong? I'd love to know. I can't have been what I said. could it? Nah, I didn't MEAN to be offensive."

Seriously. If you don't like it, just skip over them. I do it if they don't tickle my fancy, and so does everyone else on the site.
I may be the youngest person to post on this thread, but I have some advice for you: Grow up. Neither the world nor its people revolve around you, and none of them are going to conform to your idea of perfection.



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