|
vield -> RE: TV's - No offense but please stop showing up as Female Dominants (2/26/2011 10:24:28 PM)
|
I have seen this debate going on and stayed out of it until now, but it seems to be one of few threads that is generating discussion, so I'll chip in.
The problem of people pretending to be what they are not is actually very ancient. Cosmetics have been around for thousands of years.
The internet has made this far easier to do. That is one reason I highly recommend to people that they get out and join groups in or as near as possible to their home area, to make friends with similar interests. No matter how one gets a photo to post on line, meeting the person in person at a Munch or social or meeting or event will give me the ability to decide whether or not their physical and emotional characteristics are those I can be comfortable with in a partner. Of course this does NOT mean they will be attracted to me nor I to them.
Any discussion of statistics about there being more or less folks of whatever BDSM perspective one seeks is not going to be something one can "prove". Some groups have a LOT of dominant women as members. But if you are a male sub seeking a female dom, the numbers will probably not help you if most of the women there are oriented to other women.
Some groups are mostly committed couples. They may or may not take on a "3rd" of whatever gender or power level. Numbers can often be very misleading.
Anyone who is telling me major falsehoods about their background is not likely to be a potential partner for me. But simply being truthful does not guarantee I will be attracted to you, or that you will be attracted to me.
If one has most of their BDSM knowledge from porn it may indeed appear that dom women are very few and sub men are very many. If one gets a major part of their knowledge from paid encounters with professionals, this may also seem true.
If I attend a Munch and 40 of the 60 people attending are women, this still does not mean I will be right for them or they right for me.
If I go to an event with an open mind and no expectations, I may have a very lovely time! If I am courteous and helpful this improves my chances of fun. If I also volunteer to help work at an event, this will let many people see me in a positive light. Even if none of thw women who are members of the group are available or interested in me as a partner, if they become my friends I may meet other female friends of theirs at other events, and who knows where that will lead.
The closest thing to a "guaranteed connection" with a dom or a sub is to hire a professional to perform what I think might meet my needs. And I must be careful in negotiating what I expect to get for my money, too. Most Dommes are not mind readers.
It is NONE of my business who claims to be what, here or elsewhere. My personal opinion is that the only label which accurately fits anyone is a label they have voluntarily put on. It is also my opinion that I can not claim to know what the label means to the wearer unless I take the time to discuss this with them at some length.
|
|
|
|
