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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 3:19:03 AM   
DesFIP


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From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		And some of us have known more than enough alcoholics to turn us off the sight and smell of it forever. With that said, there is an open bottle of red wine in my fridge for cooking.

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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 3:42:32 AM   
Jaybeee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

It all has to do with preferences and with the fact that it is MY home.

I don't drink. I don't allow it in my house. During the summer, if we are outside, and someone brings beer or something else over, they are more than welcome to drink it outside...but not inside my home. The same goes with smoking. Not inside my home...if you want to go outside and smoke, then by all means, do so.


I'll repeat my original question; WHY do you prefer not to allow it into your home?

The naysayers want to trumpet their right not to allow booze but won't say why.

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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 4:55:34 AM   
Jaybeee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Hell, I don't even drink but I usually have a bottle of wine in the frig for company.
Just because I abstain doesn't mean that others have to suffer and I accept the fact that in many places/houses a drink is a social lubricant and a nice greeting. Thus, as a good host, I keep something on hand and on the occasion I throw a party or soiree, I'll probably get some beers as well. Anything left over I just give to a homeless guy-cut out the middle man and save the guy some time. They've always seemed delighted.



With your attitude you'd be welcome to mine anytime for a glass of whatever soft tipple you like. Kudos to you.

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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 5:47:52 AM   
poise


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee

Yet from what I see of US society from a few people I've spoken to and on tv, many Americans have a suprisingly puritanical attitude towards it passing through their front doors.

Anyone know why this should be, apart from the reasons above?

Perhaps you are only conversing with people with puritanical attitudes?
I've lived here all my life, and have had many a conversation with many people.
Oddly enough, this was never the subject of conversation.
"Hey Mr Jones, how are you today? Got any booze in your house"? Wierd.

< Message edited by poise -- 3/4/2011 5:49:14 AM >

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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 5:54:29 AM   
thishereboi


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Status: offline 		Sounds like you have no clue what life is like over here. But if it were true, why would you care? 

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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 6:20:21 AM   
Jaybeee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

Sounds like you have no clue what life is like over here. But if it were true, why would you care? 


Oh I have more than a clue, dear boy. As for your question, why do you ask? :)

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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 7:08:09 AM   
Marc2b


Posts: 6660
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Status: offline 		If you are getting most of your information about America and Americans from television then you’re are getting a grossly inaccurate picture of us. I think what most of the rest of the world fails to realize is that the United States is a very polyglot society. Virtually every race, creed, culture, religion, philosophy, ideology, etc, (as well as mixtures of the preceding) can be found here.

From my own experience, I would say that most Americans are social drinkers ranging from light (that is, they have some wine with dinner at an upscale restaurant or at a dinner party at someone’s home) to heavy (bar crawling with friends) with your teetotalers and hard core alcoholics making up the ends of the bell curve.


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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 7:37:10 AM   
LaTigresse


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Status: offline 		It has honestly never been a topic of conversation with anyone in my life, as far as I can remember.

I know people that drink a lot and generally have a lot of alcohol in their house. I know people that don't drink at all and may, or may not, have alcohol in their house. I know people that occasionally drink and may, or may not, have alcohol in their house.

In my house, I now I have alcohol but what exactly I have, I haven't a clue. I know there is, and has been for years, a partial bottle of Maker's Mark in the pantry. There is, and has been since last summer, a partial bottle of Tanqueray in the fridge. Also in the pantry is a partial and a full bottle of rum that has been untouched since...2007ish. There are multiple bottles of wine, mostly sweet therefore not touched. I think a bottle of Grey Goose in the cupboard near the fish tank..........why I have zero clue except I didn't put it there.... Maybe some Bailey's also because that and the Grey Goose was part of the "Dude" Christmas gag gift my daughter and her husband got Generic Dude two years ago.

There is a partial bottle of cheap white wine in the fridge and a similar of red on the baker's rack. Both bought and mostly used for cooking, although I confess the red had two glasses drank from it two weeks ago...

I never ask if I can bring booze to someone's house.......water is fine by me. If others are coming to my house for a meal the only requirement is that they bring whatever they want to drink. My options are usually pretty limited to various teas, water, coffee type beverages, and the previously mentioned.


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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 7:43:08 AM   
NuevaVida


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee
Yet from what I see of US society from a few people I've spoken to and on tv, many Americans have a suprisingly puritanical attitude towards it passing through their front doors.



As others have also stated, this is not my experience, either.  Most people I know just don't place a very high priority on booze, so bringing a bottle of hard liquor to someone's house would just be really odd.  However, if I'm invited to dinner I'll sometimes bring a bottle of wine, mostly out of politeness.  And when I've had people over, they might bring a bottle of wine, as well.  It's that old, Don't show up empty handed thing.  It's not expected, but certainly not frowned upon.


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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 8:05:30 AM   
maybemaybenot


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The 3 reason's you gave for folks not allowing alcohol in their home is good enough for me. It's their home and they can allow or disallow what they want for whatever reasons they want. It's my choice to go to that home or not. Just like smoking. I'm a smoker and have many friends who don't allow smoking in their home. Their home, their rules. I can go or stay home and smoke. My choice. In my case, neither smoking nor alcohol regulations would prevent from going to a gathering I wanted to go to. I don't need either that much that it makes a huge difference.

I'm a social drinker. I always have Vodka, Rum, Tequila and various liqueors in my house. Beyond that, you need to bring your own. However, if some one stops over for a visit the first thing they are going to be offered is ice tea, tea, soda or juice etc. It never dawns on me to offer a drink right out of the gate, unless it is a planned party or something. Same with my close friends. If I go over for a visit, they will offer much the same as me. If I want a drink... I will just say, I think I'll make a Bloody Mary or something and go make it and they will do the same at my home.

I have an Aunt who does not allow alcohol in her home. I don't really care or think anything of it. My Uncle was a miserable drunk and after he got sober, the no alcohol rule came in. If not having alcohol in their house kept him sober and didn't tempt him, I was all for it. I liked the sober Uncle and dispised the drunken Uncle. Me not having a couple of cocktails was well worth the * sacrifice * to have a nice, happy family gathering.

I guess I don't get why it's so important to the OP or why he thinks it's some American oddity. I suspect that all over the world there are people who are anti booze, anti smoking anti something.
Maybe I don't get it, cuz alcohol isn't something I think all that much about.

And btw, I have to mention that my mothers family is from the UK and I have two relatives over their who do not allow alcohol in their home for religious reasons. So there are at least 2 weirdos across the pond.

mbmbn

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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 8:15:05 AM   
pahunkboy


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People-  ...lighten up on the attitude per the OP.    I would rather the question be asked- then to not be asked. It is a fair question.    Jumping on the OP is out of line here.

People in the US I doubt drink as heavily as in other parts of the world.

I don't allow smoking in my house.  I seldom if ever drink- I have some booze in my house.  My neighbor never drinks-  but has a bottle of whiskey in her house.

Most people I know ..do not have a problem with booze in the house.    

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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 8:17:31 AM   
tazzygirl


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quote:

Anyone know why this should be, apart from the reasons above?


If we are going to a dinner party, we will ask if we can bring the wine. Other than that, I would never presume alcohol is part of any gathering unless directly stated.

Its a bit disturbing to believe that someone cannot enjoy the company of friends/family without the benefits of alcohol. If someone needs a drink that badly, they should stay home. I prefer not to have to travel the roads with those people.

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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 8:21:36 AM   
pahunkboy


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From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I agree- that it is often good manners to bring some sort of dish or contribution to the gathering.



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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 8:31:15 AM   
stellauk


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee

Anyone know why this should be, apart from the reasons above?


Culture.

But then again culture is just an influence on someone's behaviour, and how it influences someone's behaviour varies between individuals. The more people you have living in one place the more diverse the culture. This explains why culture among people living out in the country, or in rural communities, doesn't vary much wherever you go in the world. Go to any large city and it will have it's own cultures, and even that culture will vary from district to district.

Culture exists on any level wherever there is a social group of people, anywhere from a family to a corporation to a society to different societies in the same part of the world.

Americans have their own culture. It causes them to have funny accents, use their own words for certain things, always put their right foot forward first when climbing a flight of stairs, read self-help books, revere the 1970's film Grease, and believe God is on their side.

But I'd say American TV and movies are about as reliable a guide to American culture as Monty Python is to British culture. Personally I wouldn't claim to know American culture or people until I'd spent some time living in the country, among them, working with them, living with them. I lived in Poland some years and lived among and worked with expat Americans, who make up the third largest group of immigrants in Poland after Russians and Ukrainians.

I met three guys called Dean, all from Florida, all ex-marines, all with questionable attitudes towards women - one is today somewhere back in Florida, still wanted by the Polish authorities for about a dozen instances of tax evasion and then there's also 23 kids all with different mothers. Not all Americans are as puritanical as you think.

However I doubt that most are anywhere near that promiscuous. These guys were legends.

It's important not to generalize. Moreso because American culture is specific. They have Canada to the north, Mexico to the south, an ocean on either side, and a culture developed by waves of immigration. This is why Americans just aren't Americans. No, there's Irish-Americans, Italian-Americans, Indian-Americans, Polish-Americans, African-Americans, and apart from the Native Americans, every American will be proud to tell you of their lineage and ancestry.

I'd take them at face value. And don't forget about the Grease soundtrack.


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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 8:38:16 AM   
Aynne88


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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee

Yet from what I see of US society from a few people I've spoken to and on tv, many Americans have a suprisingly puritanical attitude towards it passing through their front doors.

Anyone know why this should be, apart from the reasons above?

Perhaps you are only conversing with people with puritanical attitudes?
I've lived here all my life, and have had many a conversation with many people.
Oddly enough, this was never the subject of conversation.
"Hey Mr Jones, how are you today? Got any booze in your house"? Wierd.


Yes that. I have never heard of a no alcohol policy in any of my acquaintances, including my religious non drinking parents that still have wine and the basics for company. I also have many friends with young children and they don't ban alcohol because of it, they tend to just not allow them to consume it. Interesting common sense, that. .

Sounds a tad like more American stereotyping to me, but incorrect. This is a country that loves it's spirits of the high proof sort, and the puritanical tag seems to be just a poke.


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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 8:45:43 AM   
LDVixen


Posts: 131
Joined: 11/28/2010
From: Southern CA
Status: offline 		Some people drink, some don't. If someone doesn't want it in their house, it's not my place to question it. I assume they have their reasons. Unless I happen to be locked inside, I can always leave if I need a drink that badly.

That being said, I don't drink because I am a very stupid drunk, I also tend to puke when drunk, it's not pretty, and it sorta ruins the mood. (Any sorta mood is ruined by vomiting, unless that is the op's fetish, but I won't be participating in that one.)

I don't agree with drinking and play, or should I say intoxication and scenes? It is not allowed during play parties that I have assisted in hosting, it simply isn't safe in my opinion. Again, my house, my party, my rules, I have a front door that people are welcome to exit if they choose.


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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 1:24:07 PM   
sunshinemiss


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Status: offline 		I know of people who don't "disallow" it, but it is certainly frowned upon - for the reasons you mentioned and because so many people have been around drunks enough to be disgusted by it.

I've given a party or two in my life, and I've found that people who focus on mixing drinks, what liquor to bring, etc. are not the kind of people I care for. They generally tend to be either drunks or socially inept (or both)... or they break my stuff when they get drunk - including our friendship.

No thanks.

As for learning what Americans do by television, HA HA HA HA HA. I actually watch British television because, while imperfect, at least the people look more like real people.
best,
sunshine

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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 3:31:57 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		There was a time in my life that I didn't allow any alcohol in my home at all because my husband was killed by a drunk driver and the very thought of being around that which killed him was more than I could handle.

It's been many many many years now though and now I allow others to have a few drinks in my home but in moderation. I won't tolerate drunks since I really just have no desire to be around that kind of personality anymore. I'm not a teenager anymore.


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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 3:34:33 PM   
Jaybeee


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quote:

Americans have their own culture. It causes them to have funny accents, use their own words for certain things, always put their right foot forward first when climbing a flight of stairs, read self-help books, revere the 1970's film Grease, and believe God is on their side.

God is indeed on their side - largely. And I thank that wonderful nation for it's contribution of the film 'Grease' (Though 'Saturday Night Fever was MUCH more stirring)But I'd say American TV and movies are about as reliable a guide to American culture as Monty Python is to British culture.


Okay.

quote:

I met three guys called Dean, all from Florida, all ex-marines, all with questionable attitudes towards women - one is today somewhere back in Florida, still wanted by the Polish authorities for about a dozen instances of tax evasion and then there's also 23 kids all with different mothers. Not all Americans are as puritanical as you think.


Nor are all Americans are marines, or ex-marines. In fact the vast majority are not, thank GOD.

quote:

However I doubt that most are anywhere near that promiscuous. These guys were legends.


Wannabe (or actual) murderers, more likelely. But let's progress.

quote:

It's important not to generalize. Moreso because American culture is specific. They have Canada to the north, Mexico to the south, an ocean on either side, and a culture developed by waves of immigration. This is why Americans just aren't Americans. No, there's Irish-Americans, Italian-Americans, Indian-Americans, Polish-Americans, African-Americans, and apart from the Native Americans, every American will be proud to tell you of their lineage and ancestry.


Quite a casserole.

quote:

I'd take them at face value. And don't forget about the Grease soundtrack.


Trust me, those "summer nights" are still giving me nightmares. :)

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 4:25:04 PM   
Jaybeee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

Anyone know why this should be, apart from the reasons above?


If we are going to a dinner party, we will ask if we can bring the wine.

How perverse.

quote:

Other than that, I would never presume alcohol is part of any gathering unless directly stated.


Again, how deviant of you. Just don't go asking too many invitors, it will lose you invitations.

quote:

Its a bit disturbing to believe that someone cannot enjoy the company of friends/family without the benefits of alcohol. If someone needs a drink that badly, they should stay home. I prefer not to have to travel the roads with those people.


I would imagine some of them feel likewise about you. Probably quite a lot more than 'some'.

(Someone pass me that bottle of Chivas Regal...)

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Profile   Post #: 40
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