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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/4/2011 6:01:39 PM

Sunnyfey

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From: OK
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I have a feeling quite a bit of Americas attitude towards alcohol has been... skewed by our college cultures of frat parties and 21st birthday 21 shot rituals.

We as Americans just don't foster an attitude towards alcohol that is...constructive? Towards dealing with things like weed or alcohol. Or media bombards us with things like "Dont drink and drive, or everyone you love will die" and then movies like (one of the) American pie when they sneak a bottle of tequila into a slushy machine and the girls get drunk and end up sleeping with/making out with the boys.(the whole plot of the movie).

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Post #: 41

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 2:19:19 AM

Jaybeee

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Joined: 2/2/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

I have a feeling quite a bit of Americas attitude towards alcohol has been... skewed by our college cultures of frat parties and 21st birthday 21 shot rituals.

We as Americans just don't foster an attitude towards alcohol that is...constructive? Towards dealing with things like weed or alcohol. Or media bombards us with things like "Dont drink and drive, or everyone you love will die" and then movies like (one of the) American pie when they sneak a bottle of tequila into a slushy machine and the girls get drunk and end up sleeping with/making out with the boys.(the whole plot of the movie).

I think each of our nations has elements that are too extremist, just at opposing sides. I see a lot of antagonism towards regular (but steady) drinkers in america, whereas here teetotallers are sometimes viewed with the same disbelief normally reserved for vegetarians. There is an ingrained drinking culture here, and in many workplaces you are regarded as something of an oddball for consistently refusing to come to the pub on Friday evenings.

Personally I do enjoy a good drink-up, and I've been known to polish off an entire bottle of wine with a meal, plus digestifs afterwards.

What irks me most, though, is that antagonism towards anyone who doesn't think like you do. I lived a childhood of enforced vegetarianism, and it fucking hurt, but as an adult I don't belittle those who practice it. If I'm having vegetarians over for dinner, then they get a veggie meal (and my spectacularly entertaining company), but I reserve the right to eat meat at my table with them, and whether I exercise it will depend on how I feel at the time. And if the issue is raised by them, I'll let them know what a sore point it was (and to a lesser degree still is) with me, smile, and change the topic smartly. Mine is a welcoming house, my guests (whatever their dietary or other constraints) invariably feel cosy and cared for, and that's how it should be.

What I DON'T do is put up some silly show of anti-whatever. To me, that is a sign of an immature mind that clings to baggage like a child clings to a doll.

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Post #: 42

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 4:55:26 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

WHY do you prefer not to allow it into your home?

The naysayers want to trumpet their right not to allow booze but won't say why.

You are not owed an explanation as to what anyone does or does not permit in their homes.

But...if one as obnoxious as you showed up at my home you would not be served alcohol. It would encourage you to stay longer and would make you even more pompous.

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Post #: 43

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 5:50:46 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Hell, I don't even drink but I usually have a bottle of wine in the frig for company.
Just because I abstain doesn't mean that others have to suffer and I accept the fact that in many places/houses a drink is a social lubricant and a nice greeting. Thus, as a good host, I keep something on hand and on the occasion I throw a party or soiree, I'll probably get some beers as well.

dito.

It really made me snort big time when a younger bloke from a moving company claimed I would be drinking a lot when we hastily emptied a shelf (originally we had the impression that we can't take it with us yet, but that changed then) just because there were 5 bottles of wine on top of it...as I didn't drink any alcohol in my home over here in the last 7 years except after passing my degree....

I am also not fond of the taste overall and don't miss it with not drinking it at all.

But to have some here for guests, why not...

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Post #: 44

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 6:04:48 AM

Aylee

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Joined: 10/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee

I'll repeat my original question; WHY do you prefer not to allow it into your home?

The naysayers want to trumpet their right not to allow booze but won't say why.

Jaybee, it comes down to the fact that some just see no reason to have it in their home. Maybe they do not drink maybe they do. Maybe they do not like the taste. Maybe they just never think about buying it unless they want something specific to mix a drink or cook something.

Unless it is a holiday I probably will not have anything on hand. I do like to make mulled wine on Thanksgiving and Strawberry Daquries on Memorial Day have become a bit of a tradition with a couple of my friends. Of course we make both versions, with and without booze in them.

I have friends that drink wine and so I tend to give them wine as gifts or if we are having a meal at their house. I have other friends that I bring dessert and some that I bring them new board games. It just depends on what is going to be liked the best.

As far as the WHY people do or do not allow or have booze in the house, you would really have to ask on a case by case basis. I don't take pork into a kosher house, I don't take coffee into a Mormon house, and unless I know that there is something particular that they enjoy I do not take alcohal into anyone's house. It really does not get easier than that.

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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 7:12:17 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

It all has to do with preferences and with the fact that it is MY home.

I don't drink. I don't allow it in my house. During the summer, if we are outside, and someone brings beer or something else over, they are more than welcome to drink it outside...but not inside my home. The same goes with smoking. Not inside my home...if you want to go outside and smoke, then by all means, do so.

I'll repeat my original question; WHY do you prefer not to allow it into your home?

The naysayers want to trumpet their right not to allow booze but won't say why.

I did answer. It's a personal preference. There is no other reason to it. No underlying, psychological reason. No past issues with alchohol or with anyone who drank. Nothing more than a PERSONAL preference. I don't LIKE alchohol INSIDE MY HOUSE. But I have no issues with it being drank OUTSIDE my house.

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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 9:21:05 AM

pahunkboy

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We are, and always will be- that shining city of a hill.

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Post #: 47

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 10:29:17 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

I totally understand someone taking along a bottle of wine to go with dinner ... a 6-pack of beer if they are going to watch a sporting event or to a cook-out ... but to bring over hard liquor? Yeah, that would probably get raised eyebrows and a request for them to leave it in the car (unless it was previously arranged that they were to bring it for X reason).

Personally, I think alcohol is gross in most forms. I rarely drink, and when I do, it's some version of a mixed drink that covers up the taste (and after-taste) of the alcohol. Holly does drink on occasion, and rob has a beer once in awhile. We have alcohol in the house.

I would still ask someone who decided to bring hard liquor over to leave it in their car ... depending on their attitude, I might ask them to just go ahead and take it back home with them.

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Post #: 48

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 10:35:46 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee

I'll repeat my original question; WHY do you prefer not to allow it into your home?

The naysayers want to trumpet their right not to allow booze but won't say why.

Because, in this country, when you host a party with alcohol, you are responsible for any damage your guests may cause when they leave. I work too damn hard for what little I have to watch someone who cant control their need for a drink to ruin it by getting into an accident after leaving. Even a fist fight with physical damage can result in the host being sued later.

No thanks. Drink at home.. or a bar. Grab a cab. Do whatever you gotta do to get your grove on. Just not on my dime.

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Post #: 49

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 10:46:03 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee

The naysayers want to trumpet their right not to allow booze but won't say why.

Nobody is "trumpeting" anything. Every person has to right to allow or not allow alcohol in their home. Personal preference, which they are stating.

I don't allow clowns in my house either. Personal preference.

Why is liquor so important to you? Can you not have a good time without it?

Cali

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Post #: 50

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 10:58:38 AM

TheHeretic

Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline

FR

I think it comes down to a matter of respect for the rights of others in their homes. The "why" is ultimately none of your business. If you must have alcohol in a home where it isn't tolerated, at least show them enough respect to get a flask, and be discrete with it.

Of course, if drinking is such a priority for you that it precludes respecting a friend's home, that might be worthy of some self-examination.

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Post #: 51

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 11:01:49 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

I think it comes down to a matter of respect for the rights of others in their homes. The "why" is ultimately none of your business. If you must have alcohol in a home where it isn't tolerated, at least show them enough respect to get a flask, and be discrete with it.

Of course, if drinking is such a priority for you that it precludes respecting a friend's home, that might be worthy of some self-examination.

If someone sneaks alcohol into a home where it is not allowed, they are not showing "respect" to the homeowner, no matter how discreet they are.

Cali

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(in reply to TheHeretic)

Post #: 52

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 11:23:15 AM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:
Stellauk:
I met three guys called Dean, all from Florida, all ex-marines, all with questionable attitudes towards women - one is today somewhere back in Florida, still wanted by the Polish authorities for about a dozen instances of tax evasion and then there's also 23 kids all with different mothers. Not all Americans are as puritanical as you think.

Jaybeee:
Nor are all Americans are marines, or ex-marines. In fact the vast majority are not, thank GOD.

quote:
Stellauk:
However I doubt that most are anywhere near that promiscuous. These guys were legends.

Jaybeee:
Wannabe (or actual) murderers, more likelely. But let's progress.

What the fuck? Do you wonder why "awaiting approval" is your nickname? Let.it.go. Speaking of progress, you first.

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Post #: 53

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 12:17:08 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

But...if one as obnoxious as you showed up at my home you would not be served alcohol. It would encourage you to stay longer and would make you even more pompous.

Great post!

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RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 2:09:54 PM

Jaybeee

Posts: 532
Joined: 2/2/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee

I'll repeat my original question; WHY do you prefer not to allow it into your home?

The naysayers want to trumpet their right not to allow booze but won't say why.

Because, in this country, when you host a party with alcohol, you are responsible for any damage your guests may cause when they leave. I work too damn hard for what little I have to watch someone who cant control their need for a drink to ruin it by getting into an accident after leaving. Even a fist fight with physical damage can result in the host being sued later.

No thanks. Drink at home.. or a bar. Grab a cab. Do whatever you gotta do to get your grove on. Just not on my dime.

Fair enough. I'd be tempted to do the same, but likelier I'd just be pickier about who I invite. Fucking stupid law of yours, that is.

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Post #: 55

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 2:23:57 PM

Jaybeee

Posts: 532
Joined: 2/2/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

It all has to do with preferences and with the fact that it is MY home.

I don't drink. I don't allow it in my house. During the summer, if we are outside, and someone brings beer or something else over, they are more than welcome to drink it outside...but not inside my home. The same goes with smoking. Not inside my home...if you want to go outside and smoke, then by all means, do so.

I'll repeat my original question; WHY do you prefer not to allow it into your home?

The naysayers want to trumpet their right not to allow booze but won't say why.

I did answer. It's a personal preference. There is no other reason to it. No underlying, psychological reason. No past issues with alchohol or with anyone who drank. Nothing more than a PERSONAL preference. I don't LIKE alchohol INSIDE MY HOUSE. But I have no issues with it being drank OUTSIDE my house.

Your answer doesn't resolve the query. Your stance on smoke, fine, that speaks for itself. Second-hand smoke is also toxic. But there is no such thing as 2nd-hand booze. A guest who brings his own bottle is not likely to harm you.

Assuming you're not lying about your claims to have no particular issue with booze, I find your policy utterly arbitrary. Do you bar guests from Kyoto from entering your home, but allow anyone else from the Far East? Do you make your guests remove their wristwatches? That's how much sense it makes to me.

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Post #: 56

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 2:45:38 PM

Jaybeee

Posts: 532
Joined: 2/2/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee

The naysayers want to trumpet their right not to allow booze but won't say why.

Nobody is "trumpeting" anything. Every person has to right to allow or not allow alcohol in their home. Personal preference, which they are stating.

I don't allow clowns in my house either. Personal preference.

Why is liquor so important to you? Can you not have a good time without it?

Cali

We're not talking about some preference whose grounds are inexplicable as ones favourite colour, or favourite flavour. As evidenced by the replies above, alcohol clearly stirs strong feelings in those who don't allow it (like you).

But again, why not? I suspect some respondants are getting defensive for no good reason. I don't judge teetotallers, or those who disallow alcohol, I simply want to know WHY they prefer not to have it. If you grew up with alcy's or simply don't like the underlying taste of it, fine. I then understand why you maintain your policy.

This is not a challenge to their policies, simply a request for information.

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Post #: 57

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 3:45:58 PM

DomImus

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Joined: 3/17/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee
Yet from what I see of US society from a few people I've spoken to and on tv, many Americans have a suprisingly puritanical attitude towards it passing through their front doors.

As a society we do tend to be rather puritanical and backwards regarding sex but not about alcohol. You have spoken to far few too many people.

(in reply to Jaybeee)

Post #: 58

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 5:51:19 PM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

The hard stuff is sold in state stores in PA. And NOT on a Sunday. Every now and then- they talk about making us like other states--- which really is not our most pressing issue here.

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 59

RE: Why the "No-Alcohol in my house policy" w... - 3/5/2011 5:57:46 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

actually there are 3 state liquor stores in PA now open on Sundays as a trial basis and you can now buy wine and beer at Wegman's Grocery any day of the week in PA.

Most likely by the end of next year you'll find liquor stores open 7 days a week.

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 60

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