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RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/13/2011 10:15:23 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Me either, and I suck at it.

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/13/2011 10:45:41 PM   
hematitan


Posts: 49
Joined: 6/25/2010
Status: offline 		For me, at least, it's just one of those sexual kinks that doesn't have a clear meaning or "cause." It just does it for me.

I think humiliation can be very much like a lot of other forms of play, in that context matters a lot. Personally, I have no desire to "actually" be humiliated. It's kind of like rape role play for me: it's a fantasy that, if acted out with someone you trust, can be a lot of fun.

I would never want to be with someone who didn't actually respect me. But I would never want to be with someone who physically abused me, either. Doesn't mean I'm opposed to consensual spanking and flogging, though. One is play, the other isn't.

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 12:15:26 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I'm with the crowd that view 'humiliation' and 'degradation' as being two very different beasts.

For me, humiliation is about humbling. About me knowing, accepting and being happy in my chosen place. Master and I have a routine when we meet that some may see as humiliating, but we see as a way of emphasising and embracing our positions.

There are times I will tell him I feel the overlap between my working life and my life as his slave is making me unsettled and a little unhappy. He knows then that I need more humiliation to help me find my calm centre, and make me happy again. Sometimes I want to crawl across the floor to him and kiss his feet, just to hear him say 'good slave'...and I know I'm accepted, loved and cherished in my position.

Degradation is something I tend to shy away from. I don't need to be treated as if I'm worthless, because I'm not. If I'm his property, then I would hope that I'm a valued piece of property that he wants to look after to the best of his ability.

In the end, it's all about "us". If one of us is not happy in where we are and what we do, then the "us" is going to break down and turn into "him" and "her"...something we would both hate to see happen.

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RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 12:29:52 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Here's the beauty of it.  You don't have to "get it" OP.  All you have to do is know that it's hot for other people.

Best wishes.


LP


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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 5:46:40 AM   
phoenixmoonn13


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Here's why:

When I choose a girl I want her to be proud to be mine.  I want her to wear her collar proudly and say, "See!  I am special because master chose me."  I want to be proud of owning her.

Humiliation seems to be a very popular theme, but I really don't get it.  It seems to be at cross-purposes to being a dominant.

I can understand that some men are attracted to other men, I don't share that feeling, but I can understand it.  I can see why someone likes dressing up as the opposite sex (I'm a stormtrooper!)

I mean that I don't get it because it's almost entirely the opposite as what I see a dominant/master being.  It's a dichotomy.  If the subject of your humiliation is such a horrible person, why would you choose to play with them in the first place?

I can wrap my head around most kinks.  Even the ones I don't share.  This one still has me confuzzled.

I'm hoping that someone can shed some light on this.



cnat shread anylight as i am lucky to have master who feels like you do about it. for me to be humiliated i would feel unloved uncared for and i would feel to horrible.

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 5:55:32 AM   
rulemylife


Posts: 14614
Joined: 8/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenixmoonn13

cnat shread anylight as i am lucky to have master who feels like you do about it. for me to be humiliated i would feel unloved uncared for and i would feel to horrible.



Apparently your master doesn't require any spelling or grammar skills either.
































(in reply to phoenixmoonn13)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 7:07:20 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		He doesn't think I am a horrible person. Humiliation “does it” for me because he is so proud when I show him how low I will go for him.

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(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 7:11:41 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The very beginnings of it lie in erotic embarrassment, in that she's somewhat ashamed or feels some guilt over her sexual desires. If you come from a culture or religion where women aren't supposed to be sexual, then there's a conflict. Humiliation plays on that conflict, on getting her to admit her desires.

Of course, over time you almost have to go farther to get that same feeling.


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RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 7:45:08 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Here's why:

When I choose a girl I want her to be proud to be mine.  I want her to wear her collar proudly and say, "See!  I am special because master chose me."  I want to be proud of owning her.

Humiliation seems to be a very popular theme, but I really don't get it.  It seems to be at cross-purposes to being a dominant.

I can understand that some men are attracted to other men, I don't share that feeling, but I can understand it.  I can see why someone likes dressing up as the opposite sex (I'm a stormtrooper!)

I mean that I don't get it because it's almost entirely the opposite as what I see a dominant/master being.  It's a dichotomy.  If the subject of your humiliation is such a horrible person, why would you choose to play with them in the first place?

I can wrap my head around most kinks.  Even the ones I don't share.  This one still has me confuzzled.

I'm hoping that someone can shed some light on this.



"I wanted to destroy something beautiful."

Why do I like humiliation?
1-Because I can. The absolute power of it is an complete thrill, a climactic headrush of ecstasy.
2-Because she will. She grovels, she begs, she pleads for me not to do some of the stuff I do, but under it all, she revels in the total control involved in having her do something way out there.The kinetic power inherent in the leash is something that she loves, the idea that I could potentially demand anything of her, but it's the actual use of such possibility that she needs...and she needs it hard and often.
3-I like making submissive women crawl. Hell fucking yes I do, and scream, and whimper, and kiss my boots  and tearing right through the whole physicality of what we do and reaching into her heart and soul and taking, just...fucking...taking.
4-C'mon now, I cannot even kinda be the only one here who finds the taboo attractive, and tends to push extremes, meaning that the further out there the act is, the hotter I find it.
5-Because I own the cunt. It's mine to what I want with it, when I want, how I want. Objectation is hot, hot, hot.
6-You only hurt the ones you love (Or maybe love the ones you hurt) and the more that you love em, the deeper that you hurt em. *Winks*
7-Just getting technical, a slave is just an object, and thus cannot be humiliated in any way shape or form. It can only serve and be used.

< Message edited by Kana -- 3/14/2011 7:48:40 AM >

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(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 7:47:37 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Oh yeah, and the further she's willing to go, the more I love her, and the prouder of her I am, not the obverse.



_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 8:08:18 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
I don't really seek this out in my own life, I don't like being treated as less. I want to feel that I belong to someone because he wants me - not simply because I was an available sex object and that I don't really measure up in the end against those that are younger/prettier/thinner.

I do happen to think name calling in the way of slut/whore/etc is hot if it's done by someone who cares about me. In general, I need to be attached to someone and very confident about their feelings for me and the 'humiliation' they do can't be the kind that would tear me down in a personal way. So I guess it's more like talking dirty than humiliation really. I pretty much don't get it beyond that.

What Lizi said. 

Dirty talk in the bedroom is something I willingly go along with, it's hot to me.  Being called a "slut", *whore*, <insert insult here> in public is entirely another matter, that to me is humiliation and I won't stand for it.


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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 8:13:02 AM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		I don't find name-calling in bed to be humiliating. Then, he is just acknowledging and accepting and reveling in my essential self. It's not humbling to be, or to have him agree that I am, his slut or whore.

As for things which are humiliating to me, this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

For me, humiliation is about humbling. About me knowing, accepting and being happy in my chosen place. Master and I have a routine when we meet that some may see as humiliating, but we see as a way of emphasising and embracing our positions.


and "My internal makeup delights in the profane and prefers the gentleman that isn't afraid to rub my face in its stench. " is just lovely.

It's just another button to push that gets me wet and reminds me that I am his. It doesn't make me less, or less valued, that I am his.

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 8:57:51 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel


It'd be rather hard for her to say that through a gag.





Some people, myself included would find it very humiliating to be gagged... especially when the drooling starts

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 10:18:31 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

"I wanted to destroy something beautiful."


This. You really get it.

quote:

I like making submissive women crawl. Hell fucking yes I do, and scream, and whimper, and kiss my boots  and tearing right through the whole physicality of what we do and reaching into her heart and soul and taking, just...fucking...taking.


And this.

quote:

Because I own the cunt. It's mine to what I want with it, when I want, how I want. Objectation is hot, hot, hot. You only hurt the ones you love (Or maybe love the ones you hurt) and the more that you love em, the deeper that you hurt em. *Winks* Just getting technical, a slave is just an object, and thus cannot be humiliated in any way shape or form. It can only serve and be used.


*swoons hard* Property at its finest.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


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His will; my fate.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 10:29:03 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		Kana gets an "oo la la" from me

and catize --
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
He doesn't think I am a horrible person. Humiliation “does it” for me because he is so proud when I show him how low I will go for him. 

i can really relate to that, too.


_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 10:30:52 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Here's why:

When I choose a girl I want her to be proud to be mine.  I want her to wear her collar proudly and say, "See!  I am special because master chose me."  I want to be proud of owning her.

Humiliation seems to be a very popular theme, but I really don't get it.  It seems to be at cross-purposes to being a dominant.

I can understand that some men are attracted to other men, I don't share that feeling, but I can understand it.  I can see why someone likes dressing up as the opposite sex (I'm a stormtrooper!)

I mean that I don't get it because it's almost entirely the opposite as what I see a dominant/master being.  It's a dichotomy.  If the subject of your humiliation is such a horrible person, why would you choose to play with them in the first place?

I can wrap my head around most kinks.  Even the ones I don't share.  This one still has me confuzzled.

I'm hoping that someone can shed some light on this.



"I wanted to destroy something beautiful."

Why do I like humiliation?
1-Because I can. The absolute power of it is an complete thrill, a climactic headrush of ecstasy.
2-Because she will. She grovels, she begs, she pleads for me not to do some of the stuff I do, but under it all, she revels in the total control involved in having her do something way out there.The kinetic power inherent in the leash is something that she loves, the idea that I could potentially demand anything of her, but it's the actual use of such possibility that she needs...and she needs it hard and often.
3-I like making submissive women crawl. Hell fucking yes I do, and scream, and whimper, and kiss my boots  and tearing right through the whole physicality of what we do and reaching into her heart and soul and taking, just...fucking...taking.
4-C'mon now, I cannot even kinda be the only one here who finds the taboo attractive, and tends to push extremes, meaning that the further out there the act is, the hotter I find it.
5-Because I own the cunt. It's mine to what I want with it, when I want, how I want. Objectation is hot, hot, hot.
6-You only hurt the ones you love (Or maybe love the ones you hurt) and the more that you love em, the deeper that you hurt em. *Winks*
7-Just getting technical, a slave is just an object, and thus cannot be humiliated in any way shape or form. It can only serve and be used.


Whew....nice.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 11:33:12 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		Oh my....*fans self vigorously*


I need a cold shower round about now...

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 11:37:41 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		That was pretty fucking hot, wasn't it?

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 11:42:06 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

That was pretty fucking hot, wasn't it?



I'll get back to you in a minute...I'm kinda...busy...right now....


fapfapfap

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Humiliation - I really don't understand it. - 3/14/2011 12:00:03 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenixmoonn13

cnat shread anylight as i am lucky to have master who feels like you do about it. for me to be humiliated i would feel unloved uncared for and i would feel to horrible.



Apparently your master doesn't require any spelling or grammar skills either.


































. That in itself is humiliating rule.

Humiliation if done correctly can bring me closer to him than anything else, it strips away my ego, my haughty attitude, my bitchiness, and brings me right down to the ground. It makes me fall, stumble, cry, feel debased at times, and it makes me crave it when I feel like I am getting out of hand again. And I do, frequently, get out of hand. He knows how to remind me of my place.

Sexually speaking, being humiliated creates intense sexual feelings that take me so out of my comfort zone that I can't get enough, and I really couldn't put it into words, it's so intense, but that rush of shame, of embarrassment, of hating what you crave and want, then begging for it, it is unlike any vanilla sex I have ever had and I could never be with someone that wasn't able to make me feel that way. It's just too fucking hot.

All barriers and walls are broken, it's freeing like you can't imagine.


_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to rulemylife)
Profile   Post #: 40
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