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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 8:36:18 AM

CrappyDom

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A copout description of S&M that works cause it is vague...

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 8:51:46 AM

LadyHugs

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Dear MrMister, Ladies and Gentlemen;

There were no such "groups" when I started so many decades ago. There wasn't any choices or venues to get another opinion, so many made up the rules as they went, to which--sadly, so much abuse, injury and or death occurred at the name of "lifestyle" and or M/s. Lifestyle wasn't safe then--nor is it today, even with all this access to others around the globe.

I do not know the "spirit of intent" of the individual that uttered attending mandatory classes and the like but, I would hope it was to inspire individuals that come into the lifestyle new--thinking they know it all; because even I don't "know it all." It is a great concern of mine how arrogant some dominants are; as to refuse any and all external education and or support gatherings. I would be concerned why they would be afraid to appear in public, as perhaps they would find out how much others exceed their knowledge, fear of loosing the slave; as they'll see that the guy/gal they are with is nothing but a bag of hot wind, etc.

Should I be a slave in today's situation, I would want at least a dominant to put forth an effort to maintain education and improve skills, as well as slaves attending as to better protect themselves as not to be a victim of ignorance or what "true slaves" behave as. Isolation is a big threat to enlightenment and support. I would also ask myself, why is the individual so scared of attending. A few occassions, it was a case of a banned individuals from conduct and behavior as a criminal preying on female slaves. (Attempted murder, rape and assault (guy even made threats at a munch); guy and gal who are banned for criminal conduct, child abuse, fraud, arson, etc; a gal who is violating court order and had her twat open, exposing kids to kinky sex and molestation, credit card fraud, cashing in life insurance policies by fraud and forgery, etc).

The "said" attitude that you have placed in the post, seems familiar to a long time smoker, that was in his/her own world until, they quit smoking and become a strong and forceful deliverer of a "reformer." Perhaps this individual discovered how clueless they were and want to reform others who had the same attitude.

Seeing how some individuals function around this area, which is extremely "active" I would love to have the power to send some of them to mandatory classes. They're about as effective as airbrakes on a turtle.

Submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 8:59:28 AM

MysticFireTopaz

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I only started attending lifestyle functions on a regular basis about five years ago. Prior to that, I was in the lifestyle eight years without attending them. I was just as much in the lifestyle before I started attending the functions regulary as I am now.

While the events are fun and educational, I would never say that a person is not in the lifestyle if he or she doesn't attend them.

I have also observed that people go through phases. Sometimes a person or couple wants to take a break from the public scene and only play privately for a while. I might not see them for several months. Then they start coming back. They were certainly still in the lifestyle during the time they were away.

So I don't see regular attendance at public lifestyle events as a determinant of whether or not someone is in the lifestyle. It is up to each person to determine what feels right for them.

Lady Topaz

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 9:12:12 AM

Proprietrix

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I haven't seen anyone actually saying that non-involvement in events equals not truly into the lifestyle. Though I would agree with anyone that said non-involvement in events equals truly not into the "community". A high level of importance is placed on real time interaction with other lifestylists for several reasons. Many of which have already been named here. Getting to know others, forming friendships, finding play partners and mates, education, learning, etc...
But under it all, events do not determine one's place in WIITWD.
I think most people prefer to keep a social circle with other folks who are like-minded and share similar interests, regardless of what those interests are. Why one wouldn't want a good healthy social life, is a bit beyond my comprehension. If you get that good healthy social life with people from the office, from the health spa, from the hunting club, church, school (fill in choice here), then great. If you get it through kinky folk, that's great too.

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 9:15:42 AM

thetammyjo

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I think one can be into BDSM and doing BDSM and living a 24/7 lifestyle without attending any public or semi-public kink events.

However, I would not say that that person was part of the meatlife community because they aren't interacting with the community outside of their own little world. One could also be part of an online community.

That said, I like to attend events when I can and so for me it is a requirement that anyone with me best get comfortable with the idea darned fast. I also don't give as much consideration to someone who isn't more public because I am public -- its a matter of matched personalities and agendas more than a judgement of good/bad, more/less, etc.

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 9:16:23 AM

slaverosebeauty

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If it was mandatory then a lot of us would have been 'kicked out' a long time ago.

Personally, I do NOT do public and social situations and groups very well, so sitting around with a bunch of people that I don't know talking about things in a public place of this nature, heck, I would have panic attacks all the time. No thank you. If I could drive by where they have the local munch when they have it and not get physically ill, I would consider that an accomplishment, since that is not likely to happen any time soon. I will pass.

Besides, I prefer talking to people one-on-one or in small groups someplace cozy.

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 9:20:44 AM

MrMister

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

First you ask a question:
quote:

Are there people here who actually believe that one is not truly in the “lifestyle” if one does not attend lifestyle functions on a regular basis?

You're question implies you haven't met, don't know, or are unsure, if this sentiment exists; but you condemn it anyway, and while doing so denigrate those who do enjoy attending functions in the company of like minded people.
quote:

My stance is that this is absolutely a bunch of nonsense

Fret not, at these functions we don't open the "meeting" by saying; "All those not here aren't worthy of being called Master or slave." I've been to many functions, I was never there when any vote was taken. Those that lurk by the door, obviously at such a event for the first time, aren't told; "Enter or forever be know as a poser!" The first time you go, you may have to sign some disclaimer paperwork and get an ID card or number; but no one greets you with; "Welcome to the home of the righteous."

No one cares what you think. And, sorry to take away any self imposed sense of importance, no one wonders why you aren't there or considers you at all. Except in one aspect, where it's similar to a gym membership. If everyone who "signed up" actually showed up - there wouldn't be enough equipment. In that respect, maybe it's better that a large group with lifestyle identification limit their participation to the home. It's crowded enough with the vanillas wandering/wondering around Folsom.

Why anyone would have the opportunity to be with people who enjoy the same things as they do and not take advantage of it is beyond me. Having the luxury of a nicely equipped home dungeon, there is no need to go to the "gym", I mean dungeon, as often as we used to. We go now to functions, and club events, simply because we like being with the people. And here's another secret, we don't exclusively talk about BDSM, or the latest perversion we want to try. Ignore the "costumes" the collars, the naked bodies, and document the chat and it could be occurring at a PTA meeting. Wait a second...at PTA meetings there is much more talk of sex.

The energy of being around people confident in who and what they are is enjoyable. You can learn and see more at one seminar/workshop filled event than you can imagine. As good as the interenet and other written sources are for reference, you can't get interactive sensation based feedback. Maybe you learn about something you want to try, maybe you see something you always wanted to try and decide it's not for you.

One of the main reasons that I recommend to people new to public events to go to one, is that, unlike the internet, you RARELY if ever see the judgment you've implied by the question and prejudicial response, you provided and I quoted above.

What exactly is up with such a cavilier attitude and assuming anything at all about me and mine? I simply asked for some input about a specifie thing. Sorry you have taken it out of context. But thanks for the input, as it has been somewhat enlightning nonetheless, which is precisely what I was looking for, as I'm certainly not passing judgment on anyone whatsoever. It's just been my experience as I thought I clearly pointed out.

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 9:23:34 AM

Tikkiee

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quote:

Are there people here who actually believe that one is not truly in the “lifestyle” if one does not attend lifestyle functions on a regular basis?

Personally, I don't judge a person by whether or not they attend functions; however, Chris and I both perfer that a person be known within the community before either of us will consider playing with them. It's just a personal preference for us though.
Along that same line though, I know many who live a 24/7 M/s dynamic, and yet they do not attend a single function.

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 9:36:23 AM

JohnWarren

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Simply put, it's a choice. People can do as they wish without affecting their "real" status. However, these events offer a lot, from information to a chance to socialize in a free environment.

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 9:39:57 AM

MrMister

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

However, these events offer a lot, from information to a chance to socialize in a free environment.

I absolutely agree with this 100 percent. There is SO very much to be gained from these events regardless of status and tenure.

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 9:46:10 AM

spankmepink11

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

What It Is That We Do

A copout description of S&M that works cause it is vague...

Thank You CrappyDom...You're the first to actually answer when i've asked for clarification on a term i was uncertain about

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 10:10:36 AM

Bearlee

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Good topic, MrMister!

Does this mean I'm not a real photographer if I don't belong to a club?

Seems to me people who include BDSM in their real life are 'lifestylers'...and the people (like me) who go to BDSM functions now and then are just a little more 'open' about it; not necessairly public, mind you...just a little more open.

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 10:11:53 AM

Vitiate_

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I don't think it's necessary for people to participate in "community" events to be considered whatever it is they think they are. I also don't take stock in people being "known" in the "community" as being worthy to know or play with. Personal preference. I'd rather get to know people on my own then by what is known by others. It's too easy for misjudgement of a person's character when there is a bias towards someone for a percieved unjustice done towards someone else in the "community". I've seen it happen countless times and prefer not to be part of that so-called "community". I attend a couple of events a year because I want to and nobody knows who I am. Just the way I like it!

this is really in response to the op..I just noticed it was in response to somone else..it's not.

< Message edited by Vitiate_ -- 5/7/2006 10:13:58 AM >

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 10:16:42 AM

littlesarbonn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrMister
Are there people here who actually believe that one is not truly in the “lifestyle” if one does not attend lifestyle functions on a regular basis?

I doubt you could find one single quote on this board from anyone with more than 500 posts that says anything like what I have quoted above.

Wow, I gotta long way to go before people ever take me seriously. Maybe that's a good thing....

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 10:20:23 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
One of the main reasons that I recommend to people new to public events to go to one, is that, unlike the internet, you RARELY if ever see the judgment you've implied by the question and prejudicial response, you provided and I quoted above.

Bra-fucking-vo!!!

Great post!

Taggard

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 10:23:36 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn
Wow, I gotta long way to go before people ever take me seriously. Maybe that's a good thing....

The arbitrary post count I threw out there had nothing to do with being taken seriously. It was one way you could identify a regular on this board. (Or at least someone who posts under one name, with one opinion.)

And I seem to remember an astronaut avatar with a similar name...was that not you?

Taggard

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 10:29:24 AM

Bearlee

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Gee, is it possible you miss-read MrMister’s post, Mercnbeth? You seemed very harsh, IMHO.

I cannot see how he condemned lifestyle functions when he stated “Obviously, there is a wealth of knowledge to be gained…” His question was merely …is it the general consensus that one is not truly in this lifestyle if they don’t participate in such functions?

This is a difficult medium; chat. More than once I have miss-read something...gets me into trouble every time!

Respectfully, bearlee

Am I still a chef if I don’t work in a restaurant?

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 10:31:23 AM

Dustyn

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The only thing in life that is manditory is death... that we get no vote on at all...

Beyond that, if you don't wanna go do the munch thing, or play party, or what-have-you, don't go... and anyone that tells you otherwise is a yutz and should be told to sod off... now go find a munch... =P

- Dustyn

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 10:36:42 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
His question was merely …is it the general consensus that one is not truly in this lifestyle if they don’t participate in such functions?

Do you honestly believe that was the intent of the OP?

Can you find any evidence at all on this board that could lead one to even think such a statment could possibly be true?

The OP threw up an obvious straw man to make some sort of point...what do you think that point might have been?

Taggard

< Message edited by TallDarkAndWitty -- 5/7/2006 10:37:21 AM >

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RE: Attending lifestyle functions is mandatory??? - 5/7/2006 10:54:48 AM

TexasMaam

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Yes, there are truly people here who believe that if you don't attend group BDSM functions you aren't truly 'in the lifestyle'.

And Yes, that's hogwash.

TexasMaam

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