needlesandpins
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CarpeComa
quote:
ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
You are missing some obvious things that can go wrong.
Why being bound on it's own carries the increase risk of asphyxiation:
For some people being bound and left alone (especially for a prolonged period of time) can unexpectedly induce panic.
Have a muscle group cramp up without the ability for relief and that is also likely to induce panic.
In addition, being bound for 5 1/2 hours is long enough for some people to become hypogycemic.
In some people hypoglycemia can lead to nausea.
In some people, panic and/or pain can lead to nausea.
Nausea can lead to vomiting.
Panic can also lead to crying and hard crying can cause coughing which can lead to vomiting.
Vomiting while bound would likely be a common way for someone to asphixiate when they were bound and alone.
It wasn't an attempt to dream up everything that could possibly go wrong (though asphyxiation on your own vomit is a novel one). That list for any activity would be longer than your arm. Even with your example, you have a chain of 'some people'. In addition, the person would have to be laying on their back with their head locked facing up and you are making assumptions about time. You are constructing very specific circumstances for a problem to occur and then arguing that everything related to it is dangerous because of it. I would certainly hope that one would have a good idea how another would react to long term confinement before leaving them that way. It's called using good judgment. If she's prone to panic attacks, you shouldn't be leaving her bound anyway. Let's work from the assumption that the people involved aren't idiots. Then we have a rational basis to start looking at the risk level.
CarpeComa i think your thoughts on this subject are foolish. by tying someone up and leaving them alone, as in YOU are not in the house/flat with them to monitor their welfare, then YOU are putting their LIFE at risk. no matter how small the chance, the fact is (no matter how you try and argue it) there IS a chance that the person could die. that is their life YOU have taken for YOUR gratification. how very selfish of you, as well as illegal. get a grip and realise that quoting statistics will not help give someone their life back, nore will it stop you going to jail. no-one thought i was asthmatic until it happened the first time. i was under pressure and it was caused by emotion only. had i been tied up and alone it's very possible i could have died. have you never heard of someone choking on their own vomit even when concious and on their side? there's a statistic for you, it happens. it doesn't matter that the person being tied up is concenting. they are putting themselves totally in your care. so get off your high horse and think about the duty of care that you have to that person. get your ego off the clouds and face facts that people should not be left tied up alone for any period of time where you are out of ear shot. that is facts, not statistics.
OP, trust is a must for any relationship, but this is a D/s relationship as well. you can not pick and choose how you trust a person, you either do or you don't. the fact that you are still going through his things says you have no trust in him what-so-ever. rightly so. if he was carrying on with her through all the time you were long distance and under the impression that he was exclusive to you then he will not change now. think of what you have said already about her. she is married but under the impression that he was still exclusive to her. if he is not giving exclusivity to her then they may have had an agreement whereby he was supposed to tell her and therefore, while he didn't 'cheat' on her as such, he still decieved her. he's supposed to be in love with you, but from what you say it would seem he's not. it's very possible to love someone and be with them because you can't be with someone else who you are totally in-love with. ask yourself this; were she single would he choose you over her? i don't think so. also; if she is married why does she care so much?
i'm curios as to how you know that she gave him a BJ in an alley? this is most likely the very least that happened but far more than what should have happened. my ex and i had rules to live by with our relationship and involving other people. only four rules and very clear and easy, no room for mistake. you'd think they would be easy to stick to. but no, he broke all four in one night and blamed me for it. after being apart for 6 weeks i decided that i was more miserable without him than i was when with him. so i accepted some of the blame but told him he was out of order for what he had done and that nothing i had done gave him the right to do it. we got back together although he didn't move back in full time. it took 4 months for me to find messages on his phone organising to go to her house. they both swore on their children's lives they hadn't been seeing each other, one of those children is my son. i asked for itemised bills for his phone for the year and only got one month off him. with the way the other messages had been on his phone and the calls it was easy to see that that wasn't the only time it had happened. i found the messages in the april and got the bill in the june, that night i kicked him out and the next day i was ok about it. everything he had ever had of my love was gone. without trust you can not have love, simple. what you have is attachment and a want for things to be right. but they are not right and you don't trust him and you never will. that is exactly why i was ok with it being over for me. i have huge trust issues and i knew i could not spend the rest of my life with that sick feeling everytime his phone went off, everytime he was late home from work, everytime he went out and so on. even if he had only gone to work and come home to me i'd have still doubted him and i couldn't live like that.
now as for being long distance. i have a long distance thing going on with my playmate. however, we have an agreement by which he will tell me of certain things. if i find out he's broken that agreement then it's over. there are eliments of what we do and reasons of my own that i have to have complete trust in him, if i don't then i can't do this anymore with him. on the other side of that though, i only see him because i get what i need from him, i don't need or want anything from anyone else, he is enough for me. however, were that to change then i would have to tell him, to not do so would be a huge breach of what i have said and i won't do that. i am a single woman and can do what i want, i am not tied to him in any true relationship way. but i have still given my word and i will not break it. you had your views on your 'relationship' but were these things spoken through and agreed by both of you, or did you assume that because that is how you thought of it he did too? if you both agreed that you were in a relationship and exclusive to each other then what he has done before you have moved in is already too much. to continue it now is more than unforgivable.
whatever way you look at it he has deceived both you and the other woman. he will continue to do so. he will keep her pictures and trinkets because he wants to because he can't let her go. he won't stop thinking what he does because you want/tell him too.
save up, call it quits, go home and lick your wounds, but get well away from him.
needles
< Message edited by needlesandpins -- 3/28/2011 3:34:34 AM >
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RE: Dishonesty - 
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