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safe words - 3/30/2011 7:22:05 AM   
MadamMistique


Posts: 12
Joined: 11/17/2010
Status: offline 		safe words...do you use? what do you think of use of safe words?
would like views of Dommes and subs ?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 7:26:24 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I firmly believe in safewords, especially if you don't know each other well. We still use yellow and red after 11 years together. I haven't called a safeword in years, but it's there just in case something weird pops up.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 7:27:33 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadamMistique

safe words...do you use? what do you think of use of safe words?
would like views of Dommes and subs ?



Within the type of relationship that I require......how I build that relationship.......safe words are meaningless.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MadamMistique)
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RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 7:30:10 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If I have a cramp, I'll just tell him that. If however, he hits an emotional trigger it isn't uncommon for me to be unable to speak.
I'm gagged a lot, so it's important for me to have a gesture so he knows there's a problem that requires removing the gag for me to tell him about.

Oddly enough, and I don't know why this is so, it's easier to use a gesture to indicate distress than it is to tell him.


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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 7:46:45 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadamMistique

safe words...do you use? what do you think of use of safe words?
would like views of Dommes and subs ?


Greetings,

Safe words are not a part of my relationships. Why do i need to be "safe" with my partner? If there's a problem i let him know and we go from there. i suppose there is some usefulness for those that play casually. But i couldn't fathom it outside of those circumstances.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 7:56:50 AM   
Ishtarr


Posts: 1130
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline 		I don't generally use safewords, even when playing with strangers.

I have no problem articulating an issue when it comes up and don't need to have a code word to express that something is wrong.
I've yet to encounter (to my deep sorrow) a gag that manages to shut me up so I technically don't really need a gesture for that either, though I still use one especially when I'm playing with strangers.

_____________________________


Du blutest für mein Seelenheil
Ein kleiner Schnitt und du wirst geil
Egal, erlaubt ist, was gefällt

Ich tu' dir weh.
Tut mir nicht Leid!
Das tut dir gut.
Hör wie es schreit!

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 8:16:37 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I use safe words.  Both for casual play and when I'm playing with clip.  Still use yellow for slow and red for stop.  They work just as well now as they did in the beginning.

While it's true that a lot of people say that they can articulate a problem, a lot can't.  Plus, in one word, "red" gets My attention pretty fast. 

If I'm remembering correctly, the last time clip had to call his safe word was last August.  It had to do with the heat.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 8:23:12 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I believe in safe words. Words like Hi, hello, kind etc...

And I don't like mean words, like Fuck off, they tend to get one embroiled in fisticuffs.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

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RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 9:04:17 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

And I don't like mean words, like Fuck off, they tend to get one embroiled in fisticuffs.


*modest swoonage* i love that word... fisticuffs. :)

i'd echo a safe word or two to you. But given the height disparity that might be hazardous to my health.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 9:08:37 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Oh, is it fisticuffs you're after so early in the morning Mrs. Thomas O'Herlihy?

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 9:11:03 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

And I don't like mean words, like Fuck off, they tend to get one embroiled in fisticuffs.


*modest swoonage* i love that word... fisticuffs. :)

i'd echo a safe word or two to you. But given the height disparity that might be hazardous to my health.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



No skullduggery please


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 9:15:13 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		“It’s a whip my dear. It’s supposed to hurt.”

Safe words have never been of much use to me really . . .  it negates the fear factor if they have ultimate control.

I am very empathetic and read body language very well.  I use common sense and situational awareness.  After all, when you have a masochist sexually and emotionally aroused on a mix of fear, pain and passion to a peak that is far beyond the point where the pleasure/pain threshold blurred together so your every torturous touch only causes another quivering orgasmic rush . . . they are so high on endorphins you could cut one their limbs off and they wouldn’t feel it.  What good is a safe word in that state of mind?  I have to be the one to watch what is happening so there is no permanent damage.

And if there was a safe word, what would it be used for?  Why would someone want to stop me from hurting them and scaring them so badly that they are left quaking in a puddle of their own piss, blood and cum?

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 3/30/2011 9:16:27 AM >

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to MadamMistique)
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RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 9:21:33 AM   
CreepyStalker


Posts: 265
Joined: 2/12/2011
Status: offline 		I don't see the point in safewords; 90% of the time they get ignored anyway.

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 9:23:58 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Oh, is it fisticuffs you're after so early in the morning Mrs. Thomas O'Herlihy?


That was profoundly wrong! i'm not that kinky!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

No skullduggery please


And ruin my chastity? Not a chance. :)

Namaste,

~porcelaine



_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 10:54:53 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadamMistique

safe words...do you use? what do you think of use of safe words?
would like views of Dommes and subs ?


I, myself, do not use them; however, I DO encourage others to make use of the 'safe feelings' that they bring.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 11:06:55 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		The safe word I use most often is "This is gonna hurt you a lot more than me"

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 11:27:53 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		I think safe words are a useful tool if one engages in "scenes" where "no" might mean "yes". In such a situation, if you want to allow "no" at all, then you're going to need some other words to mean "no". Since Carol and I don't play in this way a safe word would be superfluous.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to MadamMistique)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 11:28:01 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I like the security they bring, that I'm not going to hurt a sub more than she can take. Or if I do and she didn't safeword, not my problem.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 11:43:02 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		~fr~

I use 'red' as a safeword, but to be honest I've never had to use it for a long, long time.

When I did casual play in clubs with a very dear Dom friend of mine, he knew what I could take and we never got to the point of safewording.

With Master, although it's a relatively new relationship, we play really hard but he's always stopped just short of me needing to safeword.

Observant, intelligent sadists are a REAL pain in the ass! And the boobs. And the feet. And...and...



_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: safe words - 3/30/2011 11:51:53 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I think safewords are useful; especially when you are a very vocal sub and tend to scream, moan or say no, oh no, oh my god, blah blah blah.

This way, the other person knows when you use your safeword, they may have gone a bit too far and now the no, really does mean no and is not being uttered in simple abandon.

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 20
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