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RE: Suffering in silence - 5/9/2006 7:32:56 AM   
unquenchable


Posts: 155
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

My Dom often mentions, in passing, that I complain during punishment sessions. I don't utter a work of complaint, truly, I just make the occasional comment or give helpful advice.  Besides, I feel that it's important to give feedback so that he knows I appreciate what he's doing.

But what's the general feeling on this?  Should a good sub suffer bravely in noble silence?  Or is it a good idea to show that he's getting through by sharing thoughts and feelings during the session?

And - isn't it pretty boring if the sub makes no sound?


A 'good sub' should take direction from her Dom.  Communicate these thoughts with him, and if you want to be his.....then obey what he says.

Boring is seen by the parties present, what is boring to one may not be to another.

un---------

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Suffering in silence - 5/9/2006 7:49:29 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
Any time I had concerns that what I was doing might be boring to my Master, I would voice them.  His answer was always, "If I were bored with what you were doing, I would change it."

(in reply to unquenchable)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Suffering in silence - 5/9/2006 8:30:41 AM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline
I never saw you indicate that you are a no limits, complete obedience slave, so some of the rather stern responses from some here, might be out of place, and not applicable to you at all.
 
There are actually people that do this with their consent. These people are no better or lesser, then the slave with ball gag firmly in place. You (the parenthetical you), have an absolute right to voice a lack of desire to have something happen to you, like if someone is hitting you too hard. Now you may have handed that right over to your dominant, but I never heard you say that in any of your posts.
 
It's very hard to give you advice, and even harder to give you good advice. All we can really do is tell you how we feel about the situation from our perspective. If that relates to you, the advice is useful ... if not, then it isn't. With that in mind ...
 
I'm a consentual submissive. I would never, under any conditions allow anyone to lay hands on me without my approval. Now, that isn't to say that I won't do these things ... a perfect example being that I like the paddle and hate the cane, and I might agree that if any of my grades slip below 3.75, I get the cane. It's still punishment, trust me, I hate that fucking cane ... but it isn't a violation of my space or any of my limits. Also, this plays into one of my favorite BDSM expressions ... that limits are dependent on whom you are limiting them with.
 
Specific to your situation, I think I would ask for a safe word. If my limit gets hit (too hard, etc ...) I would just use it. If he violated that, I would move on.
 
In short, if you identify with my thoughts, perhaps this is good advice ... if not, then move on to the next post. Either way, the best person to listen to, is the person that knows you best.

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Suffering in silence - 5/10/2006 1:08:31 PM   
DaimonDog


Posts: 14
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaimonDog

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Oh it's called perfectionism: equal parts narcissism, insecurity and control freak issues.



Interesting.
How do you deal with a submissive who is a perfectionist? Is that a bad thing?

If it's used productively, it can be an excellent attribute.  Trust me, plenty of subs and slaves are perfectionists.

As long as you/they do not allow their perfectionism (which is a product of their narcisissm/insecurity/control freak needs) to get the better of them, to lose perspective, and to control them...it can be great.

The drive, the focus on the perceptions of others, the focus, and other elements also inherent to perfectionism are great things for a servant to have.  As long as you mediate and control the not-so-great parts of it, it can be wonderful.


Thank you. Insightful -  an area rarely examined.
Quite a bunny.... ;) all respect to you.


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 84
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