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RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 8:21:39 AM   
XXMystiqueXX


Posts: 41
Joined: 1/4/2011
Status: offline 		hmmmmmmmmm just looked at the name of this topic LOLOL    Too quick on to answer that one I guess.

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 8:35:19 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomKen

The best and most memorable lover of my life was the woman who didn't expect me to instantly know exactly how she liked to be touched etc.

She let me know exactly what she liked and didn't like and she didn't assume I liked what her last boyfriend liked. She was willing to try most anything a couple of times.

Sometimes sex with her was about passion and need and sometimes it was silly and playful.

And finally she was a great friend, we could talk for hours.


Where could I order one of those?  (but with in walking distance to my house)

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RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 8:57:35 AM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

Someone else alluded to good sex and psycho bitch theatrics. Been there, done that. Not necessarily all it's cracked up to be. I guess it's okay if all you ever do with them is fuck them - definitely not worth the out of bed theatrics.


Oh how I agree. I dont mind a great mind fuck in the bedroom.... outside of it, it gets old really fast.


Luckily those don't really apply to you.

(Tag, you're it)


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RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 9:12:32 AM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic


a bi-polar borderline schizophrenic



I don't think that's physically possible...



It might not be. I used "borderline," meaning that three different pshrinks could argue endlessly about whether or not she really was schizophrenic or not. I completely forgot that "borderline" is also a personality disorder itself. I should have said "bi-polar, and maybe mildly schizophrenic."


Details, Devia? It isn't so much what they do, as how they do it. Good/great sex, at least for me, is marked by an almost electric energy created between the participants. Crazy women seem to bring a higher level of emotional intensity to that process right off the starting line. Or were you looking for how ten minutes after she met me at a party while I was home on leave, she stuck her tongue in my ear and whispered that I needed to be welcomed home properly, then pulled me into the closet of a bedroom, dropped to her knees and blew me?

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RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 9:15:54 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Not a heterosexual man, but I can still answer.

To me, they can be the same or separate. I think being both is the ultimate goal. If you throw yourself into sex with wild abandon, no inhibitions and fearlessly pursue fantasy fulfillment, you are most likely a great fuck. If you have that additional layer of emotional, intellectual and soulful chemistry and compatibility, then you are great lovers.

Communication on both sides is key. I have no trouble communicating my desire or bringing out someone elses's (if we have chemistry, of course). My ex husband once said I was perfect because I am a combination of all women, from a lady who has afteroon tea to a wild porno slut.

Now, with men, it is different. I need that special guy who is not crazy, but is crazy in the bedroom, who I can laugh and talk with outside the bedroom, but who is fearless in his desires within. I would say that my ex boyfriend was the greatest fuck of my life, but not the greatest lover. He lacked that essential connection that would have elevated him to the greatest lover status.

If the OP is asking for specifics, which he seems to be doing, he is not going to get any. Suffice it to say, a good lover/great fuck will do whatever, wherever and how ever you both want it.

I do hope I do not have to add the glaringly obvious statement that having the mental and emotional connection, even love, makes all of the above supercharged.

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RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 12:16:50 PM   
outhere69


Posts: 1302
Joined: 1/25/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD
Would you make a distinction between a woman being a lover and just a good "fuck"? If so, what makes a good lover and what makes a good fuck?

I certainly would make such a distinction. A fuck is a fuck, a lover is a package. My experience, and I've heard this in conversation with other guys as well, is that the very best fucks, the wildest, rip the bedsheets, scare the cats, and speak in a primal roar when you cum, fucks are with crazy women. Put another way, there is a good reason so many nice guys stay with utter psycho-bitches.

I could tell of an amazing four day fling in my youth with what turned out to be a bi-polar borderline schizophrenic, but I know there are many such stories.

A lover is a good fuck you like to have breakfast with.

Damn, that's a fantastic definition!

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RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 12:47:09 PM   
Muttling


Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

My question for you is: When you think of the best lover you've ever had, what about that woman made them the best lover? Would you make a distinction between a woman being a lover and just a good "fuck"? If so, what makes a good lover and what makes a good fuck? What made them exciting? Were there particular things they did?

Depending on the responses, I may add/edit this question to better define my question(s).

Thanks! :)



I am strictly hetero (sorry guys, throbbing dicks aren't my thing.)  

This said, why is this question specific to us straights?   Couldn't the same apply to gays?


In response to the question, I've never had a "good fuck" and I don't think it can happen for me.   I've had a few hook ups and all were fun, but all were a bit empty.  There's more to it than just a fuck for me.  


This said, I've had a number of good play hook ups that didn't involve sex or orgasm and were a lot of fun.   I'll do play hook ups, but I find hook ups involving sex to be lacking.

< Message edited by Muttling -- 4/17/2011 12:48:23 PM >

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RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 4:46:13 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

Someone else alluded to good sex and psycho bitch theatrics. Been there, done that. Not necessarily all it's cracked up to be. I guess it's okay if all you ever do with them is fuck them - definitely not worth the out of bed theatrics.


Oh how I agree. I dont mind a great mind fuck in the bedroom.... outside of it, it gets old really fast.


Luckily those don't really apply to you.

(Tag, you're it)




No thank you.

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 5:51:00 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD
What makes a lover bad?



Well, first off, as I characterized the terms earlier, if someone is a bad fuck, they aren't going to make it to "lover" status anyway.

Setting that quibble aside, what makes for a bad fuck? Unexpected poor hygiene discoveries are a sure fire turn off. For example, if I get to a little finger action, and find shreds of toilet paper, or start getting whiffs of sour pussy, it's a mood killer. Some women are very passive, and I can adjust my technique to that, but there is a difference between being passive, and being uninvolved in the moment. I mentioned the psychological energy between the players; if she isn't contributing to that, it becomes mediocre and mechanical.

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


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RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 6:18:38 PM   
ForeverFire


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline 		Not a man, but this looks like fun.  From my side of the happy bandwagon (shall we sing Kumbaya?):

For me, a good fuck is like a hard-hitting workout:  You sweat, you bitch, you push yourself to achieve the endorphin rush.  Then when it's all over, you leave the gym, shower and move on. 

A good lover on the other hand....a good lover is someone whose touch I don't want to rush through.  Where I want them to slow down so I can feel every millimeter of their hand brushing my skin.  A good lover is someone who reduces me to the state of a jellyfish with nothing more than a touch...before we hit the sheets.  Once there, a lover is someone who is more than an active particpant, physically.  They engage me on all levels of sexuality (aural, oral, touch, mind-space).

A bad screw is someone who is (for me) timid, inactive, stupid (not ignorant, that can be remedied!  :D), and selfish.  Selfish screws are truly the worst of all.  Like no foreplay and riding.

I've had many good fucks, and very very few lovers.

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RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 6:41:31 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		^  I need a cigarette.

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 7:28:32 PM   
WantsOfTheFlesh


Posts: 1226
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD
My question for you is: When you think of the best lover you've ever had, what about that woman made them the best lover? Would you make a distinction between a woman being a lover and just a good "fuck"? If so, what makes a good lover and what makes a good fuck? What made them exciting? Were there particular things they did?

Not an easy question to answer. For me the main thing is plain desire. I get the impression too many women are not switched on enough unlike men - I'm generalising here but often their priorities in adult relations are quite simply wrong - raw sexual desire should be the starting point IMHO. The second thing is a practical point. Obviously men and women are very different physically, and it seems expected a lot of the time that men initiate proceedings. Men are not mind readers - simple communication and honesty is required to really make things work. I reckon most men aren't selfish sexually - its more a matter of WTF to do! I thinks that is one of the key things that makes a woman a good lover, someone that really interacts. BTW I note some women have come on bitching about men. You may not enjoy them for reasons other than technique. If women are so much better than men please stick with them! I'm sure men-kind can endure the terrible loss.

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RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 8:54:56 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverFire
Selfish screws are truly the worst of all. 



You know, this one of those things that women will say, but I don't think it is always true. I have taken to women to bed with nothing in mind but my own damn satisfaction, with no more foreplay than grabbing them by the hair for a kiss that was only an expression of lust and power, then grabbed her ankles, held those next to her ears, and driven fully into her, hard and inconsiderate, until I had my moment, and hear afterward it was the best sex she had ever had.

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 8:57:21 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WantsOfTheFlesh

Not an easy question to answer. For me the main thing is plain desire. I get the impression too many women are not switched on enough unlike men - I'm generalising here but often their priorities in adult relations are quite simply wrong - raw sexual desire should be the starting point IMHO.


my approach about sex is rather male oriented and it's always been a shortcoming because i prefer to cut to the chase. This is one area where i don't beat around the bush. Are we or aren't we? i'm pretty simple in that regard. However, if i engage with you it's almost a sure sign that's all we'll have. i usually restrain myself with men i'm very attracted to because i'm after a bigger prize so to speak. But for those that tickle my fancy i'll have some fun but my expectations are minimal at best.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


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His will; my fate.

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RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 8:58:33 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		a good fuck is when you're hot, sweaty, satisfied and say "so...next Friday night again?" before leaving your phone number on the dresser.

A good lover is when when the orgasm just isn't as important as the emotional ties that are left and you both would like to see each other again for more than just the good fuck that it was.



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RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 9:36:27 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		i find the differences noted to be very interesting. For me, a good fuck and a lover are very similar. What the former lacks is an emotional attachment. But on a physical level they're well matched. i'm not sacrificing my pleasure or an amazing 'o' for sentimental heart strings. That connection is just as important as the others and i'm simply not wired that way. i appreciate the raw kinetic energy and the freeing of the proverbial beast. i don't believe that should be absent or sacrificed when bonds have been formed. If anything it should amplify exponentially. At least, that's what i give and prefer in return.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 9:58:27 PM   
WantsOfTheFlesh


Posts: 1226
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: WantsOfTheFlesh
Not an easy question to answer. For me the main thing is plain desire. I get the impression too many women are not switched on enough unlike men - I'm generalising here but often their priorities in adult relations are quite simply wrong - raw sexual desire should be the starting point IMHO.


my approach about sex is rather male oriented and it's always been a shortcoming because i prefer to cut to the chase. This is one area where i don't beat around the bush. Are we or aren't we? i'm pretty simple in that regard. However, if i engage with you it's almost a sure sign that's all we'll have. i usually restrain myself with men i'm very attracted to because i'm after a bigger prize so to speak. But for those that tickle my fancy i'll have some fun but my expectations are minimal at best.

I think it is the right approach to focus on desire. It really has to be the foundation stone of adult relationships. Some women seem to look for relationships in the first instance which I feel is putting the cart before the horse.

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RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/17/2011 10:10:23 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WantsOfTheFlesh

I think it is the right approach to focus on desire. It really has to be the foundation stone of adult relationships. Some women seem to look for relationships in the first instance which I feel is putting the cart before the horse.


i suspect this is why i often defend a man's right to preferences because i think along those lines myself. It wouldn't matter how much of the other is present, without the connection mentioned and a sincere desire to bed the man, we will never progress. i simply cannot wrap my mind around 'working into' something fundamental to our union. Mind you, i'm very feral and i place a big emphasis on the physical. However, i generally find i'm best paired with men that do the same. While i love a beautiful mind and all the other trappings, i want the fuckable factor there as well.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/18/2011 6:34:03 AM   
WantsOfTheFlesh


Posts: 1226
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine
quote:

ORIGINAL: WantsOfTheFlesh
I think it is the right approach to focus on desire. It really has to be the foundation stone of adult relationships. Some women seem to look for relationships in the first instance which I feel is putting the cart before the horse.


i suspect this is why i often defend a man's right to preferences because i think along those lines myself. It wouldn't matter how much of the other is present, without the connection mentioned and a sincere desire to bed the man, we will never progress. i simply cannot wrap my mind around 'working into' something fundamental to our union. Mind you, i'm very feral and i place a big emphasis on the physical. However, i generally find i'm best paired with men that do the same. While i love a beautiful mind and all the other trappings, i want the fuckable factor there as well.

Agreed! I feel some women approach relationships with a check box when chemistry is something that can never be accounted for. Ultimately the people we seek should be measured as individuals but many women seem to appreciate men more for achievement etc. Maybe its a byproduct of women being tought to look for good husbands or whatever in the past. I need to feel the urge to rip off a woman's clothes (which btw I don't always feel when I see an attractive woman), and I need to know that she feels at least a good bit like that in turn. It shouldn't be half-hearted or one-sided.

_____________________________

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RE: Questions for heterosexual men - 4/18/2011 6:47:33 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

i find the differences noted to be very interesting. For me, a good fuck and a lover are very similar. What the former lacks is an emotional attachment. But on a physical level they're well matched. i'm not sacrificing my pleasure or an amazing 'o' for sentimental heart strings. That connection is just as important as the others and i'm simply not wired that way. i appreciate the raw kinetic energy and the freeing of the proverbial beast. i don't believe that should be absent or sacrificed when bonds have been formed. If anything it should amplify exponentially. At least, that's what i give and prefer in return.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



This.


I have been called a slut (in the negative sense) because I have on more than a few occasions fucked the brains outta a guy, not because I wanted a relationship, but simply because he was sexually appealing to me.  Sometimes that lead to a relationship (usually shortlived, but hey..), sometimes it didnt.  what MATTERED was that the chemistry was THERE..

and denying that was not being true to myself.  I refuse to deny my primal self to be in accordance with societal expectations and bow to what others are too 'keeping up with the Joneses' to accept.

I'm sleepy.. I hope that made sense...

YMMV.

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