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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/11/2006 9:26:22 PM

FirmhandKY

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag
Too sum up ladies, don't worry so much about what various guys are doing wrong. Focus on the ones that are doing something right, that's where your attention should be if you want it to pay off for you.

Go to the light.... go towards the light...

Kudos, Padriag, such a voice of reason you are

What goes around, comes around. Keep true to yourself, keep positive, and eventually it'll all work out. All this focus on other people just gives them power over you.

Cin

Ditto.

FHky

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/11/2006 9:40:58 PM

allspicey

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

Its nice that Allspicey wants to help folks and give some guys a clue, I honestly to admire that in a person. I tilted at that windmill a few times myself.

Hmm...now I wonder why I'm called a service oriented slave?

Public and private service is what I do, pretty much any time I'm not sleeping. If it's work, if it's personal, if it's Master, if it's friends, I am always looking for a way to serve (that Master allows, for all those fellas that suddenly went "perk!"). Tilting at windmills is enjoyable. Funny how many times I've been able to get the broken one's working again...hmmm...maybe that's why I get paid so much. At 44 I never get tired of it (okay, on a bad day or if I'm sick I sometimes get a bit grousy).

I love talking to a realist but honestly, cynics bore me to tears.

spicey

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/11/2006 9:42:21 PM

allspicey

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful
All this focus on other people just gives them power over you.

Cin

errrr....as submissives, isn't that what we're looking for?

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/11/2006 9:44:20 PM

Vancouver_cinful

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allspicey

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful
All this focus on other people just gives them power over you.

Cin

errrr....as submissives, isn't that what we're looking for?

Since we were talking about HNG, Jerks, Wankers, and Liars...I'd say...uhmmm no?

< Message edited by Vancouver_cinful -- 5/11/2006 9:45:54 PM >

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 1:19:42 AM

meatcleaver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang

Meatcleaver:

Would you change your mind if you looked at your argument as pointedly raising the ancient issue of determinism versus free will? Just curious...

I think the romance is the illusion that gives us the incentive to use free will but whether it is free will or the illusion of free will, that's another argument, without romance we would see the ugliness of life and be paralysed into thinking that nothing we do is worthwhile and so let fate take its course.

There is a theory and I don't know if it is still accepted as logically sound that depressives see the world without a romantic veneer which is why they are depressed. I would certainly argue that philosophers and psychologists etc. pull back the romantic veneer to see how the world functions beneath the illusion of romance.

Do I believe in a world without romance? Hell no but it doesn't stop me from intellectually accepting romance is an illusion and sometimes it is necessary to lift the veil on romance to take a good look at our motives. I'm using romance in the widest sense here. When soldiers went off to the first world war singing, expecting to be back home by Christmas, they were blinded by romance.

Some of the greatest works of art are great precisely because they have pulled back the veneer of romance and gave us insghts to the world beneath it, some are great because they appear to make romance appear real but that is another thread for another site.

< Message edited by meatcleaver -- 5/12/2006 1:33:21 AM >

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 1:38:06 AM

naughtynick

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quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

I seems like we continue to read about the lack of success in finding someone ... but get the same critique and advice again, and again, and again. Now, I don't do the online dating thing, but do think the same theories apply online and off ... so here goes. Keep in mind that these thought may only apply to girls around my age.

1. Not all women have a problem with horny men that are looking for sex. They seem to get bashed around here quite a bit, and I've never quite understood that. If I go out with or even hang out with a guy and he isn't interested in throwing me down and fucking my brains out ... hell, I'm a lot more than a little offended. What bugs me is when guys act all cool and aloof, but at the same time you could pitch a tent on that bulge in their pants.

2. This may be a younger girl thing ... but I have a ton of friends my age, and not a single one can tell a guy all the naughty little things she wants to do. I know I can't. To even ask me to explain it is an instant turn off. My understanding is that with age, this becomes easier ... but the line that kills me every time is "What are you into?". On the dating scenario, men that ask if they can do something ... "Is it ok to open your top ... do you like it when I touch you here?" ... is like pouring ice cold water on me. Simple rule (may not apply to everyone): If you even get a second date, I've already decided that if you shut the fuck up and press the issue, you are going to score. If you ask permission at that point, the answer will always be no. It makes me feel dirty to talk about all he dirty things I think about. I can't say it any more clear than that.

3. The advice that men shouldn't discuss their sexual desires and make them known, is very bad advice in my opinion. I may act bashfull ... I may even change the subject ... but trust me, when I'm laying alone in my bed at night thinking about our date (or translate that into an email, for the purposes of this forum), I'm not thinking about what type of music you like or college you attended.

So ... all that said ... here is my real advice to guys.

Be a real person that has all those interests like music and hobbies and all that stuff. I want to hear all about that ... but don't be afraid to let a girl know exactly what you have in store for her from a physical standpoint. I think you have a much better chance of finding a good match that way. Dont dwell on sexual topics, but don't run from them either ... but if she doesn't bring her own interest up, for the love of God, don't try to drag them out of her. I wouldn't send a penis picture (you may find this strange, but a huge penis scares the shit out of me anyway), but I don't think it's out of line that if you discuss something with her that interest you, and she doesn't run away screaming ... it might be nice to bolster that with tasteful images that reflect that interest.

Anyway ... just a few points for discussion ... and sorry for writing a book.

If men have all the power, as women say it, why do women make all the rules? I will never understand

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 1:40:26 AM

naughtynick

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When it comes to sex or dating, women make all the rules. A mans needs is not accepted but a male should worship a womans needs. It is not only BDSM but dating in general.

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 1:55:56 AM

meatcleaver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick

When it comes to sex or dating, women make all the rules. A mans needs is not accepted but a male should worship a womans needs. It is not only BDSM but dating in general.

Yep. The only power a man has over a woman is to tell her to kindly 'fuck off!' Everything else is down to her.

You revel in the conceit that men adore you
You do not love but love to be worshipped

I would rather burn in the fires of hell than ever be seduced into thinking men make the rules again, we are manipulated because our brains are between our legs. Well I'd rather be a eunuch than let a woman manipulate me again. Now I get up earlier in the morning and drink more coffee.

< Message edited by meatcleaver -- 5/12/2006 1:56:28 AM >

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 2:15:13 AM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick
When it comes to sex or dating, women make all the rules.

Yep. The only power a man has over a woman is to tell her to kindly 'fuck off!'

That maybe the way it works for you two 'boys', but happy to say it isn't the same for all of us

Sure sometimes it takes a few wrong turns before you get to where you want to be, but I always DO get there.

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 2:23:07 AM

naughtynick

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It was a female sub or slave who made this thread with rules for males, same goes for the woman who I quoted before she was sub or slave. Why are they allowed to make rules, but me as a male sub/bottom, I am labeled as a "do me" if i demand my choice of things?

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 2:31:03 AM

meatcleaver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick

It was a female sub or slave who made this thread with rules for males, same goes for the woman who I quoted before she was sub or slave. Why are they allowed to make rules, but me as a male sub/bottom, I am labeled as a "do me" if i demand my choice of things?

Female subs aren't allowed to make the rules, they DO make the rules. They define the perameters in which one can operate so to say to a man you are in charge with in the those perameters is like putting a bull in a field and saying the bull is in charge of the field.

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 2:43:13 AM

RavenMuse

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There is your problem, you see them as rules, I see them as her opinion.
Guess it is just the diffrent mindset

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 3:27:17 AM

MLadyQueenowands

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As a Dominant woman seeking slave men on collarme I've received my fair share of posts. I have had some very lovely ones and they have been from the groups of people I have listed in my profile as 'No Point' in contacting me. They include bisexual, switch or from overseas. I usually get a nice response from then acknowledging my no thank you which I do give if they have a particularly nicely done profile and email. Sometimes though those from overseas wish to argue the point! This astounds me LOL. Why have criteria in the first place? Why in particular argue with a Domme about her criteria?

Astonishing. Another nice group of people that I will acknowledge is those who give compliments. I never know when I say thank you if they are genuinely complimenting or using it as a hook until they reply ...o well. Weirder still are the male Doms who contact me as switches and want to be my friend. I've chatted to a few of those but it ends up a ruse wanting me to switch LOL enough said. Male Doms who don't read my profile well hmmm I send them piccies of me in action mebbe standing on a slaves head or penis. There is the odd male Dom out there who just hates femdoms and can't restrain themselves from telling me I have a plastic vagina and snails up there LOL. Very few women contact me inappropriately. Like one only!

One liner male contacts - boring unless they are sub slave straight from New Zealand then even if the profile is fairly incomplete I respond. I actually do not browse profiles except those who add themselves to my favorites list. Maybe I will down the track but I am after something a little different from the norm in NZ so prefer to just wait and see who pops out of the woodwork interested in my profile. Actually my alpha slave was someone I met while I was still trying on the hat as a subbie LOL. But I have met some very nice men from here and I feel I cannot complain, I am getting to know them and they me and we shall see. I rarely spit the dummy at a contact but sometimes skip responding if I am particularly busy and its not suitable as per my no point criteria.

~ MyLady Queenowands

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 3:31:22 AM

MsMacComb

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Women make all the rules. Domme, sub, top, bottom, switch, it doesnt matter. The only people that these rules don't apply to are gay men. Everyone else? We got you by the balls (figuratively and literally).

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 3:31:42 AM

Padriag

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

There is your problem, you see them as rules, I see them as her opinion.
Guess it is just the diffrent mindset

Nicely put Raven... to which I would add, an opinion not everyone agrees with and some have openly disagreed with and offered their own opinions.

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 3:33:02 AM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsMacComb

Women make all the rules. Domme, sub, top, bottom, switch, it doesnt matter. The only people that these rules don't apply to are gay men. Everyone else? We got you by the balls (figuratively and literally).

Don't give up the day job, you make a lousy comedian

No way I'm letting anyone have their way with MY balls.... I've seen what Tress does to them *Shudder*

< Message edited by RavenMuse -- 5/12/2006 3:34:57 AM >

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Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 3:38:05 AM

MsMacComb

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse
Don't give up the day job, you make a lousy comedian

So umm, lets be blunt. One way or another, call it kink, S/M/ B/D whatever, the bottom line is guys want pussy. Women own that aforementioned pussy and guys have to do what we want in order to get it. Could be domme or sub, but she still has what you want and you have to conform to her standards or you dont get any. So, whats complicated about that power hierarchy?

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 4:03:24 AM

Padriag

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsMacComb

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse
Don't give up the day job, you make a lousy comedian

So umm, lets be blunt. One way or another, call it kink, S/M/ B/D whatever, the bottom line is guys want pussy. Women own that aforementioned pussy and guys have to do what we want in order to get it. Could be domme or sub, but she still has what you want and you have to conform to her standards or you dont get any. So, whats complicated about that power hierarchy?

Nothing... other than the fact you're wrong.

Its not just the guys that want sex anymore, and it isn't always about sex. To be blunt, sex is fairly easy to come by these days. Add to that that there are quite a few women out there who want something from men and your power hierarchy collapses in a heap. The more a man has to offer, the more leverage and thus power, he has. The more power he has, the higher he can afford his standards to be. Mine are pretty high, and I still get what I want. The same equation applies just as well to woman, the more she has to offer, the more leverage she has, and so on. You don't even have to be dominant, a very desirable submissive (of any gender) can afford to be picky about who they submit too, one that is "undesirable" for whatever reason can't afford to be all that picky. That's harsh reality.

So no, you don't have me by anything... figuratively or literally. And the charming young lady currently seeking my collar, doing everything she can to please me, is a nice little reminder of that fact.

My house, my rules. What you do in your house is your problem.

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 4:36:31 AM

meatcleaver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsMacComb

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse
Don't give up the day job, you make a lousy comedian

So umm, lets be blunt. One way or another, call it kink, S/M/ B/D whatever, the bottom line is guys want pussy. Women own that aforementioned pussy and guys have to do what we want in order to get it. Could be domme or sub, but she still has what you want and you have to conform to her standards or you dont get any. So, whats complicated about that power hierarchy?

I'll go along with that. A man pays for pussy in cash or kind. I've yet to meet a woman that is giving it away for free. If there is, please message me.

The only power a man has is to overcome his desire, live his life the way he wants and if any pussy comes his way that's a bonus.

A couple of years ago after a terrible end to a relationship I was more or less down and out, flat broke. I still looked the same and acted the same but pussy was scarce. Two years on and with all the material trappings, pussy is not a problem. Only a fool doesn't find a lesson in that.

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RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results - 5/12/2006 4:36:41 AM

MsMacComb

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag
Nothing... other than the fact you're wrong.

Its not just the guys that want sex anymore, and it isn't always about sex. To be blunt, sex is fairly easy to come by these days. Add to that that there are quite a few women out there who want something from men and your power hierarchy collapses in a heap. The more a man has to offer, the more leverage and thus power, he has. The more power he has, the higher he can afford his standards to be. Mine are pretty high, and I still get what I want. The same equation applies just as well to woman, the more she has to offer, the more leverage she has, and so on. You don't even have to be dominant, a very desirable submissive (of any gender) can afford to be picky about who they submit too, one that is "undesirable" for whatever reason can't afford to be all that picky. That's harsh reality.

So no, you don't have me by anything... figuratively or literally. And the charming young lady currently seeking my collar, doing everything she can to please me, is a nice little reminder of that fact.

My house, my rules. What you do in your house is your problem.

Mr-Takes-Him-Self-WAY-To-Serious. Do you see all those little "smilies" that I/we were using? Thats indicates joking around. As in messing with each other, perhaps known as Tom Foolery, you know joking, good natured sarcasm, wit, even a bit sardonic, facetious, playing, having fun and so forth. So really you obviously missed all of that which is quite the shame. Its a shame as you then try to come across all hard ass which is really pathetic as with someone like me you can never succeed. Ever, not in your entire life so give it up before you even get started. Anyway, I'll let you get back to your Boone/ Manson thing and have a nice day.

< Message edited by MsMacComb -- 5/12/2006 4:55:56 AM >

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