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RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/10/2011 1:58:59 PM   
ashjor911


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From: balcony, having a Smoke
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker
God forbid if we joined forces.  Do you know how much marriages would be ended, Lizi?  DO YOU?


Oh my Holy God,

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RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/10/2011 2:49:36 PM   
sunshinemiss


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Joined: 11/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911


quote:

ORIGINAL: saltie

I tell them I want a man, not a boy.  Men dont need to call a woman old and all dried up when she turns him down . Before being turned down they say they love older women. I tell them good luck with finding a older woman.


what makes a Man.... man ? or a boy..... boy?
is it the mostach? the bird? or gray hair, i have all if that the case!

I dont remember myself calling an old lady old or older (which is older than me & i know that for a fact).
on the other hand i almost get in the friends zone or just leave her alone, neither i call anyone dried up.
I know for a fact that women still give crap about their kids, their grand kids, for then end of their lifes, they dont stop on giving..... ever.

My first crsh was a sexy smoking lady with boots,
her name in arabic = the early morning. she was 33 & i was 25
we did go out, have some (shesha) & come back but,
When i told her how i feel, & i like her, she respond with i dont date boys,
I did not asked her how can you go out with a boy & that is ok, but dont think of him that way?
also she was working for me, & the next day i went to work as usual she did also but we never talked.
untill I called her, And what a surprise she said that i ow her an applogie! which i did. next day she queit her job & went home.
when i did ask why?
she said we just can not work with each other anymore.

Honstly, she did prevent me from seeing her ever again.
what i did wrong? i did ask her out.
I can change who I am, or what turns me on,
infact i will keep trying & trying, even if it means to never been kissed before, or 40 years old virgin.




Ashjor - ah what a story! Bless.

Your question - what is the difference between a man and a boy?

Well, we all have our own definitions, she had her definition. I too have been on the receiving end of a similar response. It wasn't you, though, ashjor. It was not you.

There is a poem in English by Rudyard Kipling that tells what a man is. It makes sense to me. Perhaps it will make sense to you. I have put the poem, If, in a link for you. I hope you enjoy it.

Your story is a bit of a Greek tragedy, the stuff great stories are made of. As dreadful as disappointment is, it is the stories in which love and opportunity are lost that make great art.

I hope that one day you find a lovely, wonderful, and worthy woman.

Best,
sunshine



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RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/10/2011 4:19:18 PM   
SternSkipper


Posts: 7546
Joined: 3/7/2004
Status: offline 		Okay... you set an age limit or range to whom you're willing to meet, but then you meet someone and basically hear bells. And they turn out to be outside that age range you've set for yourself (I am assuming as I am sure many others here are that we're talking comfortably past the dipshit stuff like age of consent ... because I have an ENTIRELY different answer for that one). ... is that framed correctly?
   Well if setting guidelines for yourself is so important ... go back to your guidelines and change em. They've obviously just changed.
Peace,
Skipper
   

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Profile   Post #: 103
RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/10/2011 4:23:13 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Skipper, you may hear bells with someone 30 years your junior or senior but for many of us, this will not happen. Part of what we need to hear those bells, to feel the chemistry is a commonality, a large amount of compatibility. I don't find people the age of my children or my father sexy. I'm not going to meet someone with whom I have nothing in common, and want to jump them. Any more than I'm going to change my sexual orientation and suddenly meet a woman I want to have raging sex with. I'm just not wired for it.

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RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/10/2011 5:38:24 PM   
ashjor911


Posts: 7793
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: balcony, having a Smoke
Status: offline 		Dear sunshinemiss,

thanks for your kind words,

It was not a story it was actually the last 15 monthes of my life, or lets say past life.

the stories they used to tell me ended with the knight saving the princess, or she kissed that frog & turned out to be handsome prince they all ended with a happy ending,

I gess my story is not ended......... yet....... hopefully !!



sorry for the buzz kill gang, carry on ..... no need to stop now

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code name : 009.5
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RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/10/2011 5:38:39 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		In being the bull to my whip, cream to my oreo and the like having common interests and being able to relate to each other is key, age is part of that. Someone that refers to the 80's as "retro" likely isn't going to see life the same way that I do. Someone that was a foot soldier in Korea woud be a ditto. There is fun in "teaching" but someone that views me as a history lesson is a pass.

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Profile   Post #: 106
RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/10/2011 9:22:44 PM   
sexyred1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I have to weigh in with sexyred, NS. Androgynous looking males don't appear masculine to me. And certainly not dominant. Not to say that there aren't dominant androgynous types out there, but they sure don't do it for me.


Actually Des, I did not say he was androgynous looking. In fact, I like pretty boys as much as I like rugged dudes.

I just said I like Dominant men because NS has been acting sort of switchy lately, ya know?


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Profile   Post #: 107
RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/10/2011 10:33:36 PM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
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Status: offline 		*Kramer voice*  Those dommes are merciless, Red!  Merciless!

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RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/10/2011 10:40:05 PM   
tazzygirl


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Joined: 10/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I have to weigh in with sexyred, NS. Androgynous looking males don't appear masculine to me. And certainly not dominant. Not to say that there aren't dominant androgynous types out there, but they sure don't do it for me.


Actually Des, I did not say he was androgynous looking. In fact, I like pretty boys as much as I like rugged dudes.

I just said I like Dominant men because NS has been acting sort of switchy lately, ya know?




Lately?

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RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/11/2011 4:37:11 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		If he was extreamly much older than me, say like 20 or more years older, yes. It would be an automatic deal breaker.

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RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/11/2011 7:52:40 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mech1nomics

Hypothetically you meet someone who is the bull to your whip ( I know it was corny but Im sure you get the point) , yet theyre younger than you. Do you put your superficiality aside or are your preferences your preferences.

I don't consider age much, though I will say that women 35+ on kink sites tend to be burned and oversensitive.  It is very different dating younger women off CM, or prime age women off a site like OKCupid.

As a man dating kinky online, I think hitting on someone significantly younger is tricky.  A lady I am dating now, who I met off CM, is 18 years old, and she tends to go for guys around my age.  A lot of women older than her would consider me a lech (not in a good way).  So when I write someone in her 20s, I usually write something completely platonic, and ask if it is ok to hit on her.  I have almost always gotten a response, sometimes yes, sometimes no, but always pleasant.

If you are a younger man trying to date older, you might find some version of the above technique useful.


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Profile   Post #: 111
RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/11/2011 11:43:59 AM   
SternSkipper


Posts: 7546
Joined: 3/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Skipper, you may hear bells with someone 30 years your junior or senior but for many of us, this will not happen. Part of what we need to hear those bells, to feel the chemistry is a commonality, a large amount of compatibility. I don't find people the age of my children or my father sexy. I'm not going to meet someone with whom I have nothing in common, and want to jump them. Any more than I'm going to change my sexual orientation and suddenly meet a woman I want to have raging sex with. I'm just not wired for it.


With all the respect that I am sure is due.I was responding to the original hypothetical question in which he, the original poster did  express that he's 'hearing bells' as I put it not the original text:

"Hypothetically you meet someone who is the bull to your whip ( I know it was corny but Im sure you get the point) , yet theyre younger than you. Do you put your superficiality aside or are your preferences your preferences"

With that said, I totally get that all kinds of people lend all kinds of different weights and reasons to their preferences be it age or anything else. I suppose I may have clouded the discussion with my inference that they should be of age "(I am assuming as I am sure many others here are that we're talking comfortably past the dipshit stuff like age of consent ... because I have an ENTIRELY different answer for that one)". However that was merely to make the point that I don't like to offer the time of day to anyone who's going afoul of the law with regard to their age preference.
    But no where did I see the original poster mention the 30 year difference you ad to the hypothetical and I didn't go read his profile for an age check here. In my mind he could have been anywhere in the vast range of ages represented on this site and what read was "younger" not "decades older".
   And just for the record, most of whom I hear my bells for are around my age. Though I did on one occasion meet a young woman who was old enough to be my niece and had a fun summer affair with. Young enough to be my 30 year old niece that is.
But whatever, as the saying goes."different strokes...."
Peace,
Skipper


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Profile   Post #: 112
RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/12/2011 1:04:47 AM   
Ariane23


Posts: 88
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

No, age is not an automatic deal breaker for me provided that the party is of the legal age of consent.Age may determine on what level I might choose to involve myself with that person (casual versus not casual) but nobody would be excluded from the pool based on chronology alone.



I do keep trying to give up the toyboys...

I find that 18-20 years is a limit for a serious relationship. When it gets to be close to 30 years, the dynamic doesn't work the same.

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Profile   Post #: 113
RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/15/2011 12:13:38 AM   
wolf3


Posts: 6
Joined: 9/13/2007
Status: offline 		Age isn't an automatic deal breaker for me.  I'm probably most comfortable with a 5 year difference one way or the other, but 10 wouldn't seem particularly strange to me either.  I'd certainly consider bigger gaps than that too, although (for example) I'm getting a bit of a-possibly not unjustified-idea that someone considerably younger just wouldn't have much depth to them,

And...I need to go to sleep, as I'm not even sure the above makes sense LOL

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RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/15/2011 9:31:03 AM   
falccon


Posts: 68
Joined: 9/4/2005
Status: offline 		i remember going to a domme sub munch, and the head mistress was talking about keeping an open mind. she related an experience about a big, burly guy who kept approaching her. he wasn't for her.as time went by, this guy kept talking to her. in the end, she said they had a beautiful 2 year relationship.

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RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/15/2011 11:00:00 AM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		A met a Dom who really rang my bells, so to speak, who claimed he was my age. He was amazingly good looking, but some of the things he told me didn't quite fit. Turns out, he was 10 years older. That is when the bells stopped ringing. Not so much because of his age, although he is out of my usual range. It was because he lied about it.

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RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/16/2011 9:32:24 AM   
BlackWomanSubNJ


Posts: 54
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline 		I don't waver from my age preferences. I get really sick of 20 somethings telling me about how they're more mature than men twice their age. if that were true, they'd have respected what I listed as my preferences and not contacted me in the first place.

I will not deal with anyone under 30, and 30,31,32 is a maybe. And I'm not interested in much older men either. The majority of men who contact me don't get it and bug me anyway. Oh well, they just get told no.

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RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/16/2011 9:36:16 AM   
mech1nomics


Posts: 82
Joined: 5/5/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackWomanSubNJ

I don't waver from my age preferences. I get really sick of 20 somethings telling me about how they're more mature than men twice their age. if that were true, they'd have respected what I listed as my preferences and not contacted me in the first place.

I will not deal with anyone under 30, and 30,31,32 is a maybe. And I'm not interested in much older men either. The majority of men who contact me don't get it and bug me anyway. Oh well, they just get told no.



I concur

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RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/16/2011 11:38:33 AM   
sexyred1


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Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: mech1nomics


I don't consider age much, though I will say that women 35+ on kink sites tend to be burned and oversensitive.  It is very different dating younger women off CM, or prime age women off a site like OKCupid.



Right. And I will say that some men 42+ on kink sites tend to make sweeping generalizations, thus enabling them to justify the 18 year olds they keep hitting on.

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Profile   Post #: 119
RE: is age a automatic deal breaker - 5/16/2011 12:18:42 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Nope. In fact the question would be one of the opposite for me, I might hesitate if she were close to my age. Notice I said "might", my preference is for much younger women, but attractive is attractive, regardless of age or size.

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Profile   Post #: 120
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