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RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 12:35:29 AM

SpiritedRadiance

Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

A slave has no choice in acceptance... she either accepts or she walks. you have no bargaining power... its his way or the highway. Right now, he wants it his way. And if that means more time with the wife, then that is what it means.

I should mention this is only YOUR opinion on slavery and what it means to you. I know youve been around long enough to know slavery is different to each and every person on these forums.

In my opinion unless you live in a country where slavery is legal you have EVERY right to have a choice other then stay or walk. A slave can have limitations and a slave has needs that need to be fulfilled or else the relationship will die.

At this point in the relationship I see someone whos unfulfilled with what is currently being given and a wife who doesnt want a poly relationship. I see a "Master" who gets no only his cake and gets to eat it too... but has someone who will wash the dish after and not fulfill HIS responsibility as an owner....

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 21

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 12:44:04 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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quote:

I should mention this is only YOUR opinion on slavery and what it means to you. I know youve been around long enough to know slavery is different to each and every person on these forums.

Of course this is my opinion.

quote:

In my opinion unless you live in a country where slavery is legal you have EVERY right to have a choice other then stay or walk. A slave can have limitations and a slave has needs that need to be fulfilled or else the relationship will die.

I never said she shouldnt get her needs met, SR. However, I have yet to see an M/s relationship that allows a slave to have bargaining power. Im not saying it isnt possible, but then again thats at the owners whim.

quote:

At this point in the relationship I see someone whos unfulfilled with what is currently being given and a wife who doesnt want a poly relationship. I see a "Master" who gets no only his cake and gets to eat it too... but has someone who will wash the dish after and not fulfill HIS responsibility as an owner....

And, at this point, Im trying to get her to see why she feels unfullfilled. I believe the wife is working both ends from the middle.. and enjoying the side show. But a slave who starts making demands isnt a slave anymore, she is a submissive. Does that mean the OP should stay in the relationship? Nope. I left one for pretty much the same reason. But what does that do for the girl in her next relationship? She needs to look within, discover what she truly is, what she truly wants, then spell it out for the next relationship she intends to enter into. Until she does, she will continue to have the same results.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)

Post #: 22

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 12:45:49 AM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
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You have asked for advice and yet you seem to know your answer. I think you came here to get some sympathy. You are not happy. End of. There really is not anything else to say. This is not a good relationship. I hear you doing a lot of blaming and really it is not needed. You are unhappy ... move on to something that CAN make you happy.

(in reply to sweetlilcute)

Post #: 23

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 12:46:58 AM

sweetlilcute

Posts: 26
Joined: 5/9/2011
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Well, i was tolld in the contract that as a slave i'd be valued, respected, protected, given attention ...mentored.....

told me He would at least spend 24 hours with me a month...

i don't see His end of what He said He will do... actually happening? BUT i see myself going above and beyond what was asked... doing ALL that was told.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 24

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 12:48:33 AM

sweetlilcute

Posts: 26
Joined: 5/9/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: coookie

You have asked for advice and yet you seem to know your answer. I think you came here to get some sympathy. You are not happy. End of. There really is not anything else to say. This is not a good relationship. I hear you doing a lot of blaming and really it is not needed. You are unhappy ... move on to something that CAN make you happy.

Not trying to blame. i am really not usre if i am being stupid or immature or selfish....or if my feelings of being not treated very well are valid and true...
to be honest its hard to know what to tink when i have them telling me i am selfish and a bitch

and i have my friends saying that they see how much they hurt me and don't appreciate me and treat me like that..

it's really confusing to me because i've put my heart and soul into serving my Master and i am feeling hurt

(in reply to coookie)

Post #: 25

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 12:49:46 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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Hun, that contract isnt worth the paper it was written on. At this point, he either pleases you or pleases his wife. Want to place a wager on which one of you will get pleased?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to sweetlilcute)

Post #: 26

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 12:50:10 AM

NocturnalStalker

Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
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If you want an answer out of those three, you're being stupid. Actually, both of you are stupid. Even the wife is stupid. Everyone is stupid. Now be less stupid and get out of the stupid situation.

_____________________________

"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to sweetlilcute)

Post #: 27

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 12:52:18 AM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline

Anytime someone says that perhaps you are out of line you begin fighting with them about your rights.

Either accept what the relationship entails ... 1 day a month which was cancelled on account of the wife's birthday or leave. Those are your options. Your rights are that you get to choose what kind of relationship you have. Figure that out because you say you dont want to be a priority but when he treats you like you are not a priority you get mad. Figure out what you NEED in a relationship.

Would i be happy in that set up? Hellllll to the no but i know i am greedy =)

(in reply to sweetlilcute)

Post #: 28

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 12:53:21 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

to be honest its hard to know what to tink when i have them telling me i am selfish and a bitch

and i have my friends saying that they see how much they hurt me and don't appreciate me and treat me like that..

Do you feel like you are being selfish or a bitch? Each relationship you have will change you. If you are that unhappy that friends see it, then its time to go. It wont get better, it wont change, the friction will continue, your feelings will keep being hurt and you will get even angrier and feel more betrayed.

Honestly, at this point, all you can do is accept or leave. And I dont see you accepting what is being given.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to sweetlilcute)

Post #: 29

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 12:55:07 AM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Do you feel like you are being selfish or a bitch? Each relationship you have will change you. If you are that unhappy that friends see it, then its time to go. It wont get better, it wont change, the friction will continue, your feelings will keep being hurt and you will get even angrier and feel more betrayed.

Honestly, at this point, all you can do is accept or leave. And I dont see you accepting what is being given.

Now where is that like button?

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 30

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 12:56:53 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

I know that comes across as me being a bitch... I cant help it. He has his relationship. He wont risk his marriage for a slave... not gonna happen.

If wife aint happy, aint no one happy. And the wife is obviously not happy.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to coookie)

Post #: 31

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 12:59:51 AM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline

well i could argue that we are only getting one side of the story and i am sure it is slanted to her experience (that is not a "dig" OP it is just human nature) but i can tell that the relationship is not functioning.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 32

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 1:07:33 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

For whatever reason, it isnt functioning for the OP. And, frankly, that is all that matters at this point. She isnt happy. She stated her reasons. Based upon those (and you are right, we have only her side) it just isnt working.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to coookie)

Post #: 33

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 2:10:09 AM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

sorry babe way to fucking many words. i don't need the whole shebang anyway, the answer is simple. ask yourself the following question:

am i happy?

if your not happy just pack your bags and walk. its a bit harsh, perhaps, but it is what it is.

hannah lynn

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to sweetlilcute)

Post #: 34

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 2:21:36 AM

Awareness

Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

Odd as it may seem, I agree with birdbrain here. Leave.

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

Post #: 35

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 2:26:33 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

ive flicked through quickly and the thing you keep asking is.... 'am i right to be feeling like this, am i being immature, selfish etc.,'

he does three hurtful things that push you away and then a nice thing to pull you back - was emotional massochism what you signed up for, are you strong enough to cope with it - i dont think you are just yet and you have exams and youre ENTIRE FUTURE to think about here. how much of this is eating into youre studies.

sounds to me like you signed up for service orientated Ms, thats what you stepped into, again, did you know he was going to pull emotional sadism on you - its a whole kink on its own and this 'good cop bad cop' approach is a known method of working down a persons spirit.

so back to youre question. are you being immature and selfish? - from what i can see youre doing youre best and getting hurt and if that isnt what you signed up for and its screwing with youre studies and he isnt ensuring that youre emotional and mental health is kept on an even keel to ensure you study for youreself then he is being irresponsible towards you and that is not acceptable in a Master.

all this Ms mumbojumbo can end up being a whole pile of horse shite if the Master is abusing his position. i agree that as slave you have no rights within Ms to demand more from youre Master than he is prepared to give, for whatever reason, but you do have a right to question a dynamic that has not lived up to what was promised.

and i agree, the wife is the insecure one here, wanting to keep her man happy and needing to be sure that she's still his number one. doesnt matter what you try to do and say here to prove that you never wished to usurp her position - she will always control how much and how little you get.

get on with youre studies, this time is youre time for youre future and that is the most important thing right now. believe me, if you dont, five or ten years from now youll look back and wonder what the hell you were thinking of.

ps: youre 20 and not everyone at 20 has a whole big grasp on themselves, but i would say you have every right to be immature at 20 and whether youre selfish or not, this is youre first sexually active relationship and Ms to boot. so give youreself a break - youre doing fine and they knew youre age and youre level of inexperience from the start so stop looking at this like youre the one with the issues here.

just take a deep breath, seriously look at how much this is making you happy and how much this is not making you happy and on the strength of those findings decide for youreself.

Ms can screw with youre head and make you feel like the bad one in the mix, the one letting everyone down but it always takes two and if you can think of the things they could do to make you feel more valued and appreciated then surely so can they, so why dont they. sometimes Ms can be used innappropriately and for you, in this situation i would say that is whats happening, for someone else they might be fine, you dont sound fine.

good luck

< Message edited by lally2 -- 5/10/2011 2:52:15 AM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

Post #: 36

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 2:51:58 AM

AneNoz

Posts: 263
Joined: 4/26/2011
Status: offline

I as well agree with what Hannah Lynn has said, there is wisdom in her words. Though I will refrain from descending to your level of gratuitous insults rooted in the rancor of a previous debate. Release the anger, it is a bad thing to hold within, and this is not as it should be.

Be at peace
Aneka

(in reply to Awareness)

Post #: 37

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 3:11:56 AM

Awareness

Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
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*grin* Like many women here, you are far too serious. Human beings are complex, multi-faceted creatures and much of the interaction between them is not as simple as it might first appear.

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Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to AneNoz)

Post #: 38

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 4:20:19 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

Like many women here, you are far too serious.

Dude, I get the impression that, unlike most of us on here, Aneka is always deadly serious about what she posts. I think I've seen her make 1 joke since she started posting.

_____________________________

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Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to Awareness)

Post #: 39

RE: Have a question? Need some thoughts from people.. - 5/10/2011 4:22:36 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Tazzy, I wouldn't take her having listed slave over sub too seriously. She's 20, this is the first guy she's had sex with, she'd list herself as a waffle if he told her to.

OP, if your best friend, or your sister was in a relationship where she was used like this, and as unhappy as you are, would you tell her she should stay and accept that she will never be happy or would you suggest she follow her bliss? Because if you would be appalled at someone you love being treated this badly, then why aren't you appalled that you are being treated this badly? You deserve much more than you settled for. And you're getting even less than you agreed to settle for.

And the things they are doing are designed to make you fail college. That's totally unacceptable. Tell him you aren't available to talk to him until after finals. And go study. Then go home for the summer and be with friends. See what kind of college experience they are having, and decide if that's what you want for yourself for next year. Then go get it.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 5/10/2011 4:25:22 AM >

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(in reply to sweetlilcute)

Post #: 40

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